Disclaimer: the Fellowship characters are NOT mine, the never have been and they never will be. However, Kirby, (the girl, not the little bubble gum looking guy), and all her animal friends are MINE! MINE AND NO ONE ELSE'S! Ahem, ok, that's all I have to say.

Summary: The Fellowship members are lost in the woods when they happen upon a cabin. They enter and find a girl who's a little out of it and some very strange animals, and now they are trapped. Will they ever get out? And if they do, will their state of mind ever be the same again?

Authoress's Note: For those of you that do not like insane people or anything that is illogical, I suggest that you find another story to read.

Chapter 1: Lost and Findings

[It's noon. The Fellowship is wandering in the woods. Gandalf and Aragorn are in the lead, and following behind them in this said order are: Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Bill the Pony, Gimli, Boromir and Legolas]

Pippin: Gandalf, we've been walking all day, let's stop and take a rest.

Merry: Yes, good idea, Pip. It's high time for lunch anyway.

Gandalf: [tensely] No! We will not stop! Not yet!

Pippin: But I'm tired.

[Murmurs of agreement come from the rest of the Fellowship]

Aragorn: [comes to Gandalf's side] Is something the matter? You seem a bit tense.

Gandalf: [sighs] these woods are not familiar to me. Do not tell the others but… [quietly] I think we are lost.

Legolas: [hears Gandalf and runs to the front to him] We're lost?

Gandalf: Perhaps not, I have not been here for many a year, it may be that I have just forgotten what this used to look like. But if I remember correctly, there should be a clearing up ahead. We can stop there.

Legolas: [sighs in relief]

[A few minutes later, the Fellowship looks up to see a small cabin]

Gandalf: Well, I was right, this is the clearing, but it seems that it is now occupied.

Frodo: Should we knock?

[A long silence follows]

Pippin: Oh for heaven's sake! [runs up to the door]

Gandalf: Pippin, NO!

Pippin: [knocks on the door]

Kirby: [Is rocking in a corner muttering to a key] [hears knocking and comes to the door] [opens it] [looks around and finally looks down to see Pippin] Hello.

Pippin: Hello. My friends and I were walking and we just happened upon your house here. Do you think we could stay, just for a little while?

Kirby: Sure…Where are your friends anyway?

Pippin: [looks back] [there is no sign of the rest of the Fellowship]

Fellowship minus Pippin: [hiding in bushes and behind trees]

Pippin: [cups his hands over his mouth] Guys, it's ok! She said we could stay.

Fellowship minus Pippin: [hesitantly emerge from their hiding places]

Kirby: Well, hello there. Come on now, don't be shy.

Fellowship minus Pippin: [cautiously walks over]

Kirby: [grins] Hi, I'm Kirby! You can come on in if you'd like; it's no problem [spots Bill the Pony] You can go ahead and put your pony in the stable over there [points to the stable]

Sam: [glances over at the stable, then turns and takes Bill over to it] don't worry Bill, if you need me just neigh and I'll come right out.

Bill: [snorts and nods his head]

Sam: [smiles] All right then [walks back to the Fellowship]

Kirby: Come in [opens the door wide]

Fellowship: [walks into the house]

Kirby: [once they're all inside, eyes glaze over and her smile looks deranged] [she pulls a key out of her pocket, slams the door and locks it]

Fellowship: [turns, startled by the loud noise]

Kirby: [still grinning insanely, opens her mouth and drops the key into it, then gulps it down loudly]

Fellowship: [gape at Kirby]

Kirby: [giggling madly] Yay! I've got you! I've got you! Now you'll have to stay with me FOREVER!

Fellowship: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

FIVE HOURS LATER

Fellowship: …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [finally run out of breath] [look up to see Kirby leaning against the door snoring]

Kirby: [snorts and wakes up] oh, you're finished? Ok.

Aragorn: [boldly steps up to her] what do you want with us?

Kirby: I've been alone for so long, I just want some company.

Gandalf: well why didn't you just ask us to stay then?

Kirby: [giggles] I don't know.

Fellowship: o.O

Pippin: I'm hungry.

Kirby: [eyes go wide and glazed] are you? I have food. Would you like some of it?

Pippin: [frightened] n-n-n-no thank you [runs and hides behind Boromir]

Boromir: [angrily] you are scaring the Hobbits!

Kirby: [eyes still wide and glazed, looks at Boromir] am I?

Boromir: [not quite so toughly] umm…

Legolas: we've brought food of our own.

Kirby: [looks at Legolas] ok.

Legolas: [unaffected by Kirby's huge glossy eyes]

Fellowship: [slowly edge to the corner farthest away from Kirby and unpack food from their packs]

Sam: [muttering to Frodo] I knew no good would come of that girl. Perhaps I should whack her over the head with the frying pan; she'll never know what hit her.

Frodo: no, Sam. Though she seems insane, I think there's more to this girl than we realize.

Pippin: [overhears] what could there be? She's obviously a maniac and we should avoid her as much as possible.

Merry: [also overhears] no Pip, I think Frodo's right. We should at least give her a chance before we jump to conclusions. But if she tries to hurt us in any way, feel free to whack away, Sam.

Sam: [smiles grimly and nods]

Aragorn: Gandalf, what will we do? This girl is obviously crazy. We must do something. We have to find a way out of here.

Gandalf: I know, but we have to think, and we have to plan carefully. We don't know what she's capable of. We must watch her first, and then takes choices on action.

Boromir: I don't know why you all are so worried, she seems harmless enough to me; she's just a bit scary.

Gimli: Ha! That's what she wants you to think Boromir. But mock my words, if we're not careful, she may kill us all in our sleep.

Legolas: No need to worry about that. I won't sleep; I'll be on constant watch. If anything seems off…All right, everything is off, but if anything seems off-er, I'll warn you right away. But otherwise I must agree with Boromir, I don't think she'll hurt us.

~ * ~

Authoress's Note: Ok, I know that was not funny at all, but bear with me, please. Next chapter is when the real insanity starts. Please review.