Chapter 2: Preparations

Kirby: [lights candles, as it is getting dark inside the cabin]

Fellowship: [watches her warily]

Kirby: [looks at them] [eyes widen and glaze over] how are you doing?

Fellowship: [briefly] fine.

Kirby: [smiles and nods, then turns back to the candles] [once she finishes lighting the candles, she turns to the Fellowship] And now, for your entertainment pleasure, my friends and I will perform for you.

Fellowship: …

Kirby: [smiles and walks to her pink refrigerators. Knocks on the doors] Blue! Nana!

[Roars can be heard inside the refrigerators]

Kirby: [steps back and waits]

[Both doors fly open] [two blue polar bears emerge from pink frigidares (fridges)]

Blue: [yawns and looks at Kirby]

Nana: [does the same as Blue]

Fellowship: [stunned and frightened silence]

Kirby: [smiles] hi you two!

Blue and Nana: [roar]

Fellowship: [cower]

Kirby: [laughs] we have guests. Go say hi while I get the others. [turns and walks to a door, opens it, walks into the room and then closes the door again]

Nana and Blue: [lumber over to the Fellowship and sniff at them]

Fellowship: [remain silent and very still]

Nana: [sniffs at Sam and then nudges him]

Sam: umm…hello.

Blue: [sniffs at Gandalf and nudges him]

Gandalf: [smiles and pets him] these animals are friendly. They won't hurt us.

Hobbits: [laugh and pet Nana]

Nana: [makes soft rumbling noises and nuzzles the Hobbits affectionately]

Pippin: what are they?

Legolas: [kisses Blue's nose] didn't you hear the author?

Everyone: [turns to him in astonishment]

Ruby: [bursts into the room giving Legolas the death glare] [hisses] Legolas!

Legolas: what?

Boromir: you're not supposed to mention the author.

Legolas: Oh [laughs sheepishly] Woops.

Ruby: [turns to Pippin] but just to answer your question, they're blue polar bears.

Pippin: ok.

Ruby: oh, and this never happened.

Fellowship: [nods]

Ruby: [jumps onto an invisible horse and disappears through a wall]

Kirby: [opens the door of the room]

[Six purple chickens, four green penguins, one pink dog, one red-and-green-striped cat, twenty polka-dot macarena-dancing ants, three golden monkeys, two silver horses and five rainbow ducks pour out of the room] [There is a chorus of frantic animal sounds]

Fellowship: [jump up and back against the wall]

Legolas: all right, I know that girls are into animals, but this is too much.

Gimli: I am being squished.

Sam: shoo! Shoo!

Purple Chicken: [pecks at Sam's foot]

Merry: [muffled] can't breathe.

Nana: [is pressed against Merry]

Kirby: [comes out of the room in a blue nightgown and a thin blue cloak] [pushes a tree prop into the gathering room] [yells] QUIET!!!!!!!

All: [silent]

Kirby: [calmly] Now, Pinky, (the pink dog), Stripes, (the green-and-red-striped cat), come here please.

Pinky and Stripes: [walk over to Kirby]

Kirby: [goes to a crank in the wall and turns it]

[A harness attached to a cord is lowered from the roof]

Kirby: [walks over to Pinky and places him in the harness] [goes back to the crank and turns it]

Pinky: [whimpers as he is lifted into the air]

Kirby: [walks back to Stripes] here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Stripes: [purrs and walks over]

Kirby: [lifts the cat into her arms and places her on a hidden ledge on top of the tree] [turns to the two silver horses] Shimmer, I'll only be needing Silver in this piece.

Shimmer: [snorts and goes back into the room]

Kirby: [turns to the rainbow ducks] Rainbow Troupe, you're not in this one either.

Rainbow Ducks: [quack and complain loudly]

Kirby: [yells] GET INTO THE ROOM NOW!

Rainbow Ducks: [quack and rush back into the room]

Kirby: [turns to the polka-dot macarena-dancing ants] Ants, I only need two of you.

Ants: [eighteen of the ants go in single file back to the room] [the Queen and a chosen servant stay]

Kirby: [turns to the blue polar bears] Blue, you know what to do.

Blue: [roars and walks to the front]

Nana: [walks back to her pink frigidare and sits down inside, leaving the door open so she can watch]

Kirby: okay! Everyone, take your places.

Animals: [apparently knowing what piece they're going to do, they get into order]

Fellowship: [now that most of the animals have cleared out, they are able to move once more]

Merry: [inhales deeply]

Kirby: [turns to the Fellowship] gentlemen, please have a seat.

Fellowship: [sits down on the floor]

Aragorn: [whispers to Gandalf] what is this girl trying to do?

Gandalf: [shrugs] I think she's going to perform for us.

Legolas: [overhears Gandalf] this should be interesting.

Kirby: [clears her throat] For your entertainment pleasure, my animal friends and I will sing and act out our version of the oh so popular song "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Pippin: [mutters to other Hobbits] well that depends, what is she hearing?

Hobbits: [snicker]

Kirby: And now, let the show begin!