Chapter 3: Performing and Tears
Green Penguins: [stand a little away from the rest of the animals humming]
Kirby: [grabs the edges of her cloak and lifts it up to shoulder height]
Golden Monkeys: [mount Silver]
Silver: [neighs and stomps]
Ants: [sing and dance Macarena]
Pinky: [whimpers from the roof]
Stripes: [paces restlessly]
Purple Chickens: [cluck and peck at the Fellowship]
Pippin: [yells] LEAVE US ALONE!
Gandalf: oh, for the love of the Valar! [whacks the Chickens away with his staff]
Purple Chickens: [cluck indignantly]
Kirby: [angrily] hey! [hits Gandalf over the head] leave my Chickens alone!
Gandalf: [growls but controls the urge to whack Kirby to death]
Kirby: [comes to the front of the room] [claps her hands] and now we will begin.
Everyone: [falls silent]
Kirby: [walks to one side of the room, then nods to the Green Penguins]
Green Penguins: [sing in harmony] Said the north wind to the polar bear
Kirby: [walks to Blue making wind sounds while the Penguins sing] [sings shrilly and out of tune] Do you see what I see?
Green Penguins: [sing] Do you see what I see—
Green Penguins and Kirby: [sing] way up in the sky polar bear?
Kirby: [sings] Do you see what I see? [looks and points up]
Blue: [looks up]
Green Penguins: [look up and sing] Do you see what I see?
Green Penguins and Kirby: A dog, a dog, dancing in the night—
Pinky: [swings around dancing]
Green Penguins and Kirby: with a tail as pink a-as gum, with a tail as pink a-as gum.
Blue: [turns to the Purple Chickens]
Green Penguins: [sing] Said the polar bear to the purple chickens
Blue: roar roar roar roar roar roar? [translation: do you hear what I hear?]
Green Penguins: [sing] Do you hear what I hear—
Green Penguins and Blue: [Penguins sing, Blue roars] Ringing through the sky purple chickens?
Blue: roar roar roar roar roar roar? [translation: do you hear what I hear?]
Green Penguins: Do you hear what I hear?
Green Penguins and Blue: A cat, a cat, meowing through the trees—
Stripes: [meows loudly from her spot in the tree]
Green Penguins and Blue: with a voice as big as the sea, with a voice as big as the sea.
[Kirby and her animals continue to sing until the song ends]
Hobbits: [applaud vigorously]
Fellowship minus the Hobbits: o.O
Hobbits: [stop clapping]
Kirby and Co.: [bow] thank you, thank you.
Kirby: [walks to the crank in the wall and turns it]
Boromir: [rushes to free the trembling pink dog]
Pinky: [runs away]
Aragorn: [gets Stripes out of the tree]
Stripes: [purrs and rubs himself against Aragorn's legs]
Aragorn: [smiles and pets the red-and-green-striped cat] [sits down]
Pinky and Stripes: [run into the other room bickering]
Golden Monkeys, Silver, and Queen and Servant Ant: [follow Pinky and Stripes]
Kirby: [turns to the Fellowship] and now we will perform our version of "Angels We Have Heard On High"
Hobbits: yes! Another performance!
Fellowship minus Hobbits: no!
Hobbits: [look dejected]
Blue: [walks over to his frigidare and sits inside, also leaving the door open]
Kirby: [runs into the room, taking the tree prop with her] [comes out again dragging one of those kiddy pools filled with water] Rainbow Troupe!
Rainbow Ducks: [come out of the room quacking and flapping their wings] [get into the kiddy pool, splashing a lot of water]
Green Penguins: [remain where they were standing]
Kirby: and now we shall begin
Green Penguins and Kirby: [sing in harmony]
Duckies we have heard on high
Sweetly quacking o'er the lake,
And the water in reply,
Echoing their quacky sounds.
Qua-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ack—
Gimli: [yells] AAAAAAAAHHH! SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU DERANGED IDIOT! [looks at the Penguins] don't worry, you four aren't idiots.
Green Penguins and Kirby: [astonished silence]
Green Penguins: [angry at being interrupted, they huff away to the other room]
Purple Chickens: [cluck in fright]
Kirby: [incredulously] what did you call me?
Gimli: [emphasized] an idiot! A deranged idiot! And in case you don't know what that means, it's a stupid person who's crazy!
Kirby: [eyes fill with tears and her lip starts to tremble] [whimpers]
Legolas: [realizes what's going to happen] [quietly] Gimli, take that back.
Gimli: what?! I most certainly will not!
Legolas: [urgently] Gimli, for all our sakes, take it back!
Gimli: [crosses his arms and shakes his head] no!
Legolas: [covers his ears]
Kirby: [screams shrilly]
Fellowship minus Legolas: [covers their ears]
Ruby: [voice-over] the scream was so shrill it would put a Nazgul to shame.
Nazgul: [emerges from a shadowed corner] [offended] hey!
Ruby: sorry…Are you supposed to be here?
Nazgul: no.
Ruby: then…get out.
Nazgul: ok [disappears in a puff of smoke]
Kirby: [stops screaming and cries tears that are a foot in length]
Fellowship minus Legolas: [astonished]
Legolas: I told you to take it back.
