Chapter 6: In the Attic

Gandalf: [taps his staff on the floor and a little light shines at the top]

Fellowship: [looks around the attic]

[Most of Kirby's animal friends evacuated up to the attic. They see that the polka-dot macarena-dancing ants are indeed in the middle of the room singing and dancing, and they see other animals huddled in the corners. Other than that, the attic is empty]

Gimli: [quietly] what a dreary place...

Legolas: well...at least it's not flooded.

Fellowship: [nods and murmurs in agreement]

Ruby: [appears out of nowhere before the Fellowship]

Fellowship: [jumps back, startled]

Pippin: [sighs in relief] don't scare us like that, Miss Author!

Boromir: [defensively] I was *not* scared, just...surprised, there's a big difference.

Merry: sure, whatever you say Boromir.

Ruby: ok, if you're finished with your little conversation, I've come to help you.

Frodo: [hopefully] you have?

Ruby: [smiles brightly] yes [looks around the room] now let's see...what do we need first?...Ah, yes! [snaps her fingers]

[A fireplace appears in one of the corners and a fire immediately springs to life on the hearth]

Fellowship: [gapes in astonishment]

Gandalf: [mutters] I could have done that...

Aragorn: [murmurs] then why didn't you?

Gandalf: [grumbles grumpily]

Ruby: [looks around again] what else do you need?...Oh! [snaps her fingers again]

[Three refrigerators appear beside the fireplace. Their doors open briefly to reveal that they are stocked with food and drink, and then close once more]

[Ruby the Authoress continues to snap her fingers and make things appear until at last the floor is covered with hay, there are two pink (and empty) frigidares, two large cabinets, three huge barrels, a latrine and shower are in the farthest corner and are covered by a hanging curtain, and there are ten twin-sized beds]

Ruby: [turns to the Fellowship] ok, let me explain all of this to you *and* the readers [clears her throat] On this wall [gestures to the south wall (the one behind the Fellowship)] you will find that there are five beds, and at this other wall [gestures to the north wall] there are five other beds. That is where you will all sleep. Now over on that side [points to the east wall] you will find a cabinet full of clothes, and also a 'bathroom' where you can do your business and bathe. And over there [points to the west wall] you will find the fireplace, refrigerators which have food and drink inside, Nana and Blue's pink frigidares-

Nana and Blue: [make happy rumbling noises]

Ruby: [continues] a cabinet with some pots and pans and such, and the barrels have water in them. The hay is for the comfort of the animals that are lodging with you. Ok, did everybody get that?

Fellowship: [nods]

Ruby: all right then, my work here is done. So long, Fellowship! [there is a large puff of smoke, and once it's cleared, Ruby's still standing there coughing] oh, for the love of cows! [stomps out through the attic door]

Fellowship: [stands silently, unsure of what to do first]

Legolas: [walks over to Blue and unties Kirby's hands] [lifts her up in his arms and sets her down on the bed nearest to the fireplace] [removes his cloak and places it around her body, and then covers her with a blanket]

Gandalf: Meriadoc, close the door, there's a draft blowing in.

Merry: [nods] yes Gandalf [closes the attic door]

Fellowship: [choose beds and place their things on top of them]

Blue and Nana: [settle down in their frigidares]

Gandalf and Aragorn: [walk over to tend to Kirby]

Gandalf: we must make sure that she gets warm first of all.

Aragorn: [wraps the blanket around Kirby and lifts her from the bed] [sits down with her in front of the fireplace]

Hobbits: [sits down beside Aragorn and watch Kirby anxiously]

Pippin: [concerned] will she be all right, Aragorn?

Aragorn: [glances at Pippin and smiles slightly] I think she will be.

SEVEN MINUTES LATER

Kirby: [her lips and cheeks have regained their natural colors]

Hobbits: [smile in relief]

Aragorn: [glances back at Gandalf] the color has returned to her lips and cheeks, Gandalf.

Gandalf: [walks over and examines Kirby] yes, I think she'll be all right now once she wakes up.

Aragorn: [carries Kirby back to her bed and sets her down upon it]

Hobbits: [follow after Aragorn and stand beside Kirby's bed]

Gandalf: Samwise, please prepare some tea for when she wakes up. It will do her a whole world of good.

Sam: [nods and runs to his pack] [pulls out his kettle and runs to one of the water barrels but can't quite reach the top]

Legolas: [spots the struggling Hobbit and smiles] [walks over to him] allow me to help you [opens the barrel] [takes the kettle from Sam and fills it with water] [hands it back to Sam] there you are.

Sam: thank you, Legolas [walks to the fireplace and hangs the kettle on a hook above the fire] [runs to the kitchen cabinet] [rummages around and finds a stirring spoon and mittens] [searches some more and finds a tiny packet labeled 'tea'] [runs back to the kettle and waits for the water to boil]

FIVE MINUTES LATER

[The water bubbles and steams, signifying that it's boiling]

Sam: [jumps up from his spot on the floor] [opens the packet of tea and pours the powder into the water] [stirs the water with the spoon]

THREE MINUTES LATER

Sam: [pulls on the mittens and takes the kettle off of the hook, setting it down on the floor to cool]

Frodo: [walks over to Sam and smiles tiredly] it was very nice of you to make the tea, Sam.

Sam: [embarrassed] well, it was the least I could do, Mister Frodo.

Frodo: [concerned] I hope Kirby wakes up soon...

Sam: I'm sure she will, sir.

Frodo and Sam: [go back to Kirby's bed and sit down on the floor]

Boromir, Legolas and Gimli: [join the others at Kirby's bedside]