Moulin Rouge is my favorite movie of all time, but I don't want to do
my
summer project until a week before it is due, and I've done all my
chores. So now, the only thing I can think of is... parody my fave
movie!
How brilliant am I? -not very. The only characters I own are Tracey and
her boyfriend Andy! The rest are owned by Australian, Baz Luhrman.
*****
Tracey: Ready to be alone all night?
Andy: Oh yeah. (Puts arm around her)
Tracey: Andy, I don't want to make out. I want to watch this movie!
Andy: Fine, I won't make out with you!
Tracey: I've watched this movie eight times since I bought it.
Andy: When did you buy it?
Tracey: Five days ago. Come on, lets watch.
*****
Chapter 1: Toulouse's Number\ Sound of Music
(Toulouse is sitting on the roof of the Moulin Rouge.)
Toulouse: There was a boy. A very strange enchanted boy. They sat he
traveled very far, very far, very far...
Andy: Your tape's already busted. Wanna make out now?
Tracey: No, this is the better version, sit!
Toulouse: Over land and sea. ( Zooms out to Paris) Oh yeah, from merry
England to Paris he traveled what? A hundred miles or less! (Zooms into
Montmartre)
Priest: Turn away from this village of sin!
Random Girl: When I grow up, I'll be a cancan dancer! Just like Nini.
Priest: This may be a village of sin, but I love it.
Toulouse: And sad of eye. Was very wise. And then one day, one magic
day
he turned my way. (Zooms in on Christian, holding an Absinthe bottle.)
Christian: Who the hell said this day was magical?
Toulouse: I did! Let me finish my song already!! This he said to me.
(Christian begins typing. Quietly sobs) The greatest thing you'll ever
learn is just to love and be loved in return.
Christian: (still typing) The Moulin Rouge. A night club . The kingdom
of
night time pleasures. (Cancan dancers appear on screen)
Andy: I know I'll like this movie!
Tracey: Put a sock in it.
Harold Zidler: (appears) Moulin Rouge!
Christian: As I was saying! A dance hall and a bordello. Where the rich
idiots came to play with the young and beautiful creatures of the
underworld. The most beautiful of all was the woman I loved. Satine. A
courtesan. She sold her love to men. And she was the star of the Moulin
Rouge.
Andy: What's with the sentence fragments?
Christian: Will you stop interrupting me?
Tracey: Yeah Andy!
Christian: You too Goldilocks! Anyways, the woman I loved is dead. I
first came to Paris one year ago. (Zoom out) It was 1899. The world had
been swept up in Bohemian revolution, and I had traveled from Merry ol
England to be a part of it. I traveled to the village of Montmartre. It
was not as my father said.
Christian's Daddio: A village of sin!
Christian: But the center of the Bohemian world.
Random people: Of the Revolution.
Christian: There were painters, writers, and some other idiots known as
the Children of the Revolution. I had come to write about Truth,
Freedom,
Beauty, and that which I believed in above all things: Love!
Christian's Daddio: Always talking about this ridiculous obsession with
love. You disgust me!!
Christian: But there was one problem: I'd never been in love.
People walking below: Gasp!
Christian:(typing) Luckily, at that very moment an unconscious
Argentinean fell through my roof. ( Argentinean falls through roof) He
was joined seconds later by a dwarf dressed as a nun.
Toulouse: How do you do? My name is ...(five minutes later) Toulouse
Monfa. Just so this makes sense, call me Toulouse.
Christian: O...k.
Toulouse: I'm so sorry about this, we were just upstairs rehearsing a
play.
Christian: (typing) A play, something very modern called Spectacular
Spectacular.
Toulouse: It's set in Switzerwand!
Christian: Apparently, the Argentinean suffered from a disease called
Narcolepsy.
Toulouse: Running around then (snores) unconscious the next. (Bohemians
appear)
Audrey: Oh peachy! Now the narcoleptic Argentinean is unconscious and
we
won't have this dumb play ready for the financier tomorrow.
Toulouse: Audrey, hello! We find someone to read the part! You awful
eye
shadowed guy.
Audrey: I happen to like my eye shadow. Anyway, who will we find to
play
the sensitive Swiss poet\goat herder?
Christian: (Typing) Suddenly, I found myself upstairs subbing for the
Argentinean. (Upstairs)
Toulouse: (singing) The hills animate, with the euphonic sounds of the
descant! Ha-ha-ha
Audrey: Stop! Your lack of piano talent is insufferable droning!
Satie: So?
Audrey: Stop the insufferable droning, and stick to decorative piano!
Christian: (typing) Apparently there were artistic differences to
Audrey's words and Satie's songs.
Special Effect Dude: I don't think a nun would sing about a hill.
Satie: How about the hills are vital to the descant?
Toulouse: The hills quake and shake!
All but Argentinean: The hills are
Argentinean: The hills have euphonic melodies. (faints)
All: No. The hills are the hills are!
Christian: The hills are alive! With the sound of music!
Argentinean: The hills are alive with the sound of music! I love it.
Satie: Hey, this goes with my freaky melody!
Christian: With songs they have sung, for a thousand years!
Toulouse: El gaspo! Incandiferous! (Two little boys show up)
Boy One: Can I buy that song from you?
Christian: At the end of the movie!
Boy Two: We can live with that!
Toulouse: Audrey, you two should write the show together.
Audrey:(like a valley girl) Excuse me girlfriend?
Christian:(typing) But Toulouse's idea that Audrey and I should write
the
show together was not what that gay man wanted to hear!
Audrey: Goodbye! I will take my eye shadow! None of you will look as
good
as me!
Special Effect Dude: DAMN!
Toulouse: Your first job in Paris.
Satie: Do you think Zidler will go for it? No offense, but have you
ever
written anything like this before?
Christian: No!
Special Effects Dude: We're screwed!
Toulouse: Not completely. We can pose him off as an English writer to
Satine, and she'll tell Zidler to have him write the show.
Satie: That's just vague enough to work!
Christian: (typing) But I kept hearing my father's voice in my head!
Christian's Daddio: You'll end up losing your virginity at the Moulin
Rouge with some Cancan dancing ninny!
Christian: I can't write the show for the Moulin Rouge!
Toulouse: Why not?
Christian: I don't know if I am a true Bohemian revolutionary!
All: Gasp!
Argentinean: Do you believe in Truth?
Christian: Yes.
Satie: Beauty?
Christian: Yes of course!
Toulouse: Freedom?
Christian: Like duh!
Special Effect Dude: Love?
Christian: Why did you have to ask me?
Special Effect Dude: Who knows? Do you believe in love?
Christian: Love?
All: Yes! Love!
Christian: Love. Above all things I believe in love. Love is like
oxygen,
love is a many splendored thing, all you need is love!
Toulouse: See, you can't fool us! You are the voice of the children of
the revolution!
Christian: Yeah! Can I drink already? I'm tired of standing on this
bloody ladder!
Special Effects Dude: The ladder is bloody?
Toulouse: Eat nothing, don't be merry, and drink Absinthe!
Christian: (typing) I had my first glass of Absinthe. ( They drink)
Kylie Monougue: I'm the green fairy.
Tracy: Let's fast forward a bit.
Kylie: Hey!
~~~~~FF~~~~~
Christian: We were off to the Moulin Rouge, and Satine would.. well
you'll see.
~~~~STOP~~~~~
Andy: I've got to take a massive piss.
Tracey: TMI my boyfriend. TMI!
Me: Take us out of the chapter, Trace.
Tracey: Thank you, Meredith. While my boyfriend takes a piss, you
review
until he comes back!
my
summer project until a week before it is due, and I've done all my
chores. So now, the only thing I can think of is... parody my fave
movie!
How brilliant am I? -not very. The only characters I own are Tracey and
her boyfriend Andy! The rest are owned by Australian, Baz Luhrman.
*****
Tracey: Ready to be alone all night?
Andy: Oh yeah. (Puts arm around her)
Tracey: Andy, I don't want to make out. I want to watch this movie!
Andy: Fine, I won't make out with you!
Tracey: I've watched this movie eight times since I bought it.
Andy: When did you buy it?
Tracey: Five days ago. Come on, lets watch.
*****
Chapter 1: Toulouse's Number\ Sound of Music
(Toulouse is sitting on the roof of the Moulin Rouge.)
Toulouse: There was a boy. A very strange enchanted boy. They sat he
traveled very far, very far, very far...
Andy: Your tape's already busted. Wanna make out now?
Tracey: No, this is the better version, sit!
Toulouse: Over land and sea. ( Zooms out to Paris) Oh yeah, from merry
England to Paris he traveled what? A hundred miles or less! (Zooms into
Montmartre)
Priest: Turn away from this village of sin!
Random Girl: When I grow up, I'll be a cancan dancer! Just like Nini.
Priest: This may be a village of sin, but I love it.
Toulouse: And sad of eye. Was very wise. And then one day, one magic
day
he turned my way. (Zooms in on Christian, holding an Absinthe bottle.)
Christian: Who the hell said this day was magical?
Toulouse: I did! Let me finish my song already!! This he said to me.
(Christian begins typing. Quietly sobs) The greatest thing you'll ever
learn is just to love and be loved in return.
Christian: (still typing) The Moulin Rouge. A night club . The kingdom
of
night time pleasures. (Cancan dancers appear on screen)
Andy: I know I'll like this movie!
Tracey: Put a sock in it.
Harold Zidler: (appears) Moulin Rouge!
Christian: As I was saying! A dance hall and a bordello. Where the rich
idiots came to play with the young and beautiful creatures of the
underworld. The most beautiful of all was the woman I loved. Satine. A
courtesan. She sold her love to men. And she was the star of the Moulin
Rouge.
Andy: What's with the sentence fragments?
Christian: Will you stop interrupting me?
Tracey: Yeah Andy!
Christian: You too Goldilocks! Anyways, the woman I loved is dead. I
first came to Paris one year ago. (Zoom out) It was 1899. The world had
been swept up in Bohemian revolution, and I had traveled from Merry ol
England to be a part of it. I traveled to the village of Montmartre. It
was not as my father said.
Christian's Daddio: A village of sin!
Christian: But the center of the Bohemian world.
Random people: Of the Revolution.
Christian: There were painters, writers, and some other idiots known as
the Children of the Revolution. I had come to write about Truth,
Freedom,
Beauty, and that which I believed in above all things: Love!
Christian's Daddio: Always talking about this ridiculous obsession with
love. You disgust me!!
Christian: But there was one problem: I'd never been in love.
People walking below: Gasp!
Christian:(typing) Luckily, at that very moment an unconscious
Argentinean fell through my roof. ( Argentinean falls through roof) He
was joined seconds later by a dwarf dressed as a nun.
Toulouse: How do you do? My name is ...(five minutes later) Toulouse
Monfa. Just so this makes sense, call me Toulouse.
Christian: O...k.
Toulouse: I'm so sorry about this, we were just upstairs rehearsing a
play.
Christian: (typing) A play, something very modern called Spectacular
Spectacular.
Toulouse: It's set in Switzerwand!
Christian: Apparently, the Argentinean suffered from a disease called
Narcolepsy.
Toulouse: Running around then (snores) unconscious the next. (Bohemians
appear)
Audrey: Oh peachy! Now the narcoleptic Argentinean is unconscious and
we
won't have this dumb play ready for the financier tomorrow.
Toulouse: Audrey, hello! We find someone to read the part! You awful
eye
shadowed guy.
Audrey: I happen to like my eye shadow. Anyway, who will we find to
play
the sensitive Swiss poet\goat herder?
Christian: (Typing) Suddenly, I found myself upstairs subbing for the
Argentinean. (Upstairs)
Toulouse: (singing) The hills animate, with the euphonic sounds of the
descant! Ha-ha-ha
Audrey: Stop! Your lack of piano talent is insufferable droning!
Satie: So?
Audrey: Stop the insufferable droning, and stick to decorative piano!
Christian: (typing) Apparently there were artistic differences to
Audrey's words and Satie's songs.
Special Effect Dude: I don't think a nun would sing about a hill.
Satie: How about the hills are vital to the descant?
Toulouse: The hills quake and shake!
All but Argentinean: The hills are
Argentinean: The hills have euphonic melodies. (faints)
All: No. The hills are the hills are!
Christian: The hills are alive! With the sound of music!
Argentinean: The hills are alive with the sound of music! I love it.
Satie: Hey, this goes with my freaky melody!
Christian: With songs they have sung, for a thousand years!
Toulouse: El gaspo! Incandiferous! (Two little boys show up)
Boy One: Can I buy that song from you?
Christian: At the end of the movie!
Boy Two: We can live with that!
Toulouse: Audrey, you two should write the show together.
Audrey:(like a valley girl) Excuse me girlfriend?
Christian:(typing) But Toulouse's idea that Audrey and I should write
the
show together was not what that gay man wanted to hear!
Audrey: Goodbye! I will take my eye shadow! None of you will look as
good
as me!
Special Effect Dude: DAMN!
Toulouse: Your first job in Paris.
Satie: Do you think Zidler will go for it? No offense, but have you
ever
written anything like this before?
Christian: No!
Special Effects Dude: We're screwed!
Toulouse: Not completely. We can pose him off as an English writer to
Satine, and she'll tell Zidler to have him write the show.
Satie: That's just vague enough to work!
Christian: (typing) But I kept hearing my father's voice in my head!
Christian's Daddio: You'll end up losing your virginity at the Moulin
Rouge with some Cancan dancing ninny!
Christian: I can't write the show for the Moulin Rouge!
Toulouse: Why not?
Christian: I don't know if I am a true Bohemian revolutionary!
All: Gasp!
Argentinean: Do you believe in Truth?
Christian: Yes.
Satie: Beauty?
Christian: Yes of course!
Toulouse: Freedom?
Christian: Like duh!
Special Effect Dude: Love?
Christian: Why did you have to ask me?
Special Effect Dude: Who knows? Do you believe in love?
Christian: Love?
All: Yes! Love!
Christian: Love. Above all things I believe in love. Love is like
oxygen,
love is a many splendored thing, all you need is love!
Toulouse: See, you can't fool us! You are the voice of the children of
the revolution!
Christian: Yeah! Can I drink already? I'm tired of standing on this
bloody ladder!
Special Effects Dude: The ladder is bloody?
Toulouse: Eat nothing, don't be merry, and drink Absinthe!
Christian: (typing) I had my first glass of Absinthe. ( They drink)
Kylie Monougue: I'm the green fairy.
Tracy: Let's fast forward a bit.
Kylie: Hey!
~~~~~FF~~~~~
Christian: We were off to the Moulin Rouge, and Satine would.. well
you'll see.
~~~~STOP~~~~~
Andy: I've got to take a massive piss.
Tracey: TMI my boyfriend. TMI!
Me: Take us out of the chapter, Trace.
Tracey: Thank you, Meredith. While my boyfriend takes a piss, you
review
until he comes back!
