When we left our bohos and couple, they were about to have a "poetry

reading". And Tracey went to get some beverages. I do not own Moulin

Rouge!!

*****

Tracey: Here's your drink.

Andy: Thank you babe!

Tracey: Let's start it up!!

~~~~PLAY~~~~

Chapter Three: Mistaken Identity, Too Much Spinning, & S. S. plot.

(People Doing the Hunkadola)

Marie: *like a valley girl*That twinkle-toes Duke is really taking the

bait, girl.

Satine: *Equally Stupid Voice*: He he, like, gag me with a spoon!

Marie: (pulls string) Enough of that. With a patron like him, you could

be the next Sarah Bernhardt.

Satine: Oh, Marie, you honestly think I'm that good?

Marie: (pulls string) Yup!

Satine: I'm going to be a real actress, Marie.

Andy: Hate to break it to ya Nicole, you already are an actress!

Satine: It's a movie!! I'm going to fly away from hear. (Starts talking

to bird) Yes you little birdie, I'm going to fly away... Why the hell

am

I telling a bird about my problems??

Marie: I don't know, why are you? (pulls string)

Harold: Duckling! Is everything all right?

Satine: Of course, Harold. You think I would be putting on makeup for

no

reason. (turns around) How do I look?

Harold: * In A Voice That Sounds Like He Got Kicked in the Balls* EEK!

Satine: Smouldering Temptress!

Harold: My little Strawberry, how can he resist from gobbling you up?

Everything is going so well!

(Scene changes to the elephant, where Christian is just standing there)

Satine: This is a wonderful place for a poetry reading, don't you

think?

Christian: Well, actually (turns around) Yeah, great place for a poetry

reading.

Satine: Poetic. Enough. For you?

Christian: Yes. Black corset....

Satine: Would you like a little supper? (picks up champagne)

Christian: I'd rather just get it over and done with.

Satine:(Drops champagne. It breaks into a gazillion bite-size pieces)

Oh.

Then why don't you come down here, and we can get it over and done

with!

Christian: Aren't you going to pick up the gazillion bite-size pieces

of

glass?

Satine: Do I look like a maid?

Christian: I'd rather do it standing.

Satine: Clean up the glass?

Christian: No, my poetry.

Satine: Oh..

Christian: You don't have to stand up. Sometimes it can be quite long,

and I'd like you to be comfortable.

Satine: 8)

Christian: It's quite modern what I do, and if your open, I'm sure

you'll

enjoy it.

Satine: I'm sure I will love your sex.

Christian: Is that what they call it? I need to get out more The sky

is.

Satine: Moans and groans.

Christian: Blue birds (turns) Come on. Oh riki tiki tiki tiki! Oh, how

I

love my poetry.

Satine: Is everything all right.

Christian: I'm just a bit nervous. I'm not inspired.

Satine: Oh yes yes yes yes, let mummy help hum...(grabs his groin) Does

that inspire you? Let's make love!

Christian: Make love?

Satine: You want to don't you? Oh, come on. Free the tiger. Growl

growl.

(rips open pants) Oh, big boy.

Toulouse: He's got a huge talent!!

Satine: I need your poetry, now!!

Christian: It's a little bit funny...

Satine: What?

Christian: This feeling inside...

Satine: :@

Christian: I'm not one of those who can easily hide. Is this what you

want?

Satine: Oh yes, not actions naughty words. (randomly groans throughout

entire poem I'm not going to bother trying to write out)

Christian:(singing) My gift is my song

Paris: Holy...

Christian: And this one's for you. And you can tell everybody, that

this

is your song. It may be quite simple, but now that it's done. I hope

you

don't mind, I hope you don't mind.. that I put down in words...

Satine: Is it too late to say I mind??

Christian: How wonderful life is, now you're in the world. I sat on the

roof, and I kicked off to Mars...

Satine: I thought you kicked off the moss?

Christian: But I want to go to Mars!

Satine: It doesn't rhyme with cross...

Christian: And I kicked off the moss, well some of these verses well

they... they got me quite cross.

Satine: Then why did you write them?

Christian: I'm trying to romantically serenade you, will you shush?

Well

the sun's been kind, while I wrote this song. It's for people like you

that keep it turned on. So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do.

You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue!

Satine: What is green or blue?

Christian: I'll stop singing if you say one more word! You see well the

thing is, what I really mean. Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever

seen. (begins to spin her in a circle. Scene is now outside) And you

can

tell everybody, this is your song. It may be quite simple, but now that

it's done.

Satine: (spins about ten times to get to Christian)

Christian: I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind, that I put down

in words. How wonderful life is, now you're in the world. ( Starts

spinning her again, then picks her up-still spinning)

Toulouse: I think he got the job!

Christian: World.......

Satine: I don't believe it! I'm in love! I'm in love with a young,

handsome, talented duke.

Christian: Duke?

Satine: The title is a load of crap though.

Christian: I'm not a duke.

Satine: Not a duke?

Christian: I believe I already said that! Can I put you down now?

Satine: What are you then?

Christian: A young, handsome, talented writer!

Satine: WRITER!

Christian: Toulouse said.....

Satine: Oh no, you're not another one of Toulouse's incredibly talented

proteges?

Christian: You might say that!

Satine: Oh no! I'm going to kill him!

Toulouse: There might be a slight hitch!

Satine: What about the duke? (opens door)

Harold: Ah, duke!

Satine: (Slams door) The Duke!!!

Christian: The Duke?

Satine: Hide. Out the back!

Harold: Satine, are you decent for the Duke? Where were you?

Satine: I was waiting.

Duke: For lil ol me?

Satine: Uh...

Harold: May I present Mademoiselle Satine.

Satine: Monsieur, it is kind of you to take time out of your busy

schedule to come see us.

Duke: Who said I came for Zidler? oops, I mean I fear the pleasure is

all

mine.

Harold: I'll let you two squirrels get acquainted.

Duke: Zidler, your supposed to leave.

Harold: Right, ta-ta (leaves)

Duke :A kiss on the hand may be quite continental...

Satine: But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Duke: (hands her hat and pimp cane)

Satine: Whoof!

Duke: Whoop? Well, after tonights hot, sultry, sensual...

Satine: On with it!

Duke: Exertions on the stage, you must be in need of refreshment (turns

to get champagne)

Satine: Don't you...just... love the view?

Duke: Charming. Now would you like a..

Satine: Whoop! I feel like dancing. *mutters* Great, more spinning!

(Dances like a fool)

Christian: (looks at her like she's "Sarah")

Sound Effect; Crash!

Satine: Don't ! It's a little bit funny...

Duke: What?

Satine: This...

Christian: (whispers) Yearning for sex...

Satine: Feeling.....

Christian: *whispering* below the waistline!

Satine: Inside. I'm not one of those who can easily...

Christian: *whispers* Remains a virgin.

Satine: Hide.

Sound Effect: Hehe- CRASH!

Duke: (looks behind him. He SPINS)

Satine:(throws herself at his feet.) I don't have much money, but if I

did , oh I'd buy a big house where we both could live. (opens Duke's

legs) *whispers* go out the back. I hope you don't mind, I hope you

don't

mind that I put down in words. How wonderful life is now you're in the

world.

Duke: (Eyes pull a shing shing sparkle sparkle) That's very

b-e-a-utiful!!

Satine: It's from Spectacular, Spectacular. With you here, I finally

understand the true meaning of those words: how wonderful life is now

you're in the world.

Christian: (Opens door. GasP! There's Warner)

Duke: And what meaning is that?

Sound Effect: CRash!!!!!

Satine: NO! Duke, don't toy with my emotions! You must know the effect

you have on women. *in thought* you scare them with your heinous

mustache! *speaking* Let's make love!!!

Duke: Yeah!!!

Satine: I knew you felt the same!! *whispers* get out he's going to

kill

you! *speaking* We should wait.

Duke: But why?

Satine: There's a sheer ugliness in you that scares me. You must leave!

Duke: I just got here!

Satine: I got to go, bye! (shoves Duke out door) Do you have any idea

what would've happened if you were found. (Faints)

Christian: (Catches her) Oh my golly golly gosh! Satine! I'll put you

in

bed! (Puts Satine in bed, with much difficulty, thus landing on top of

her.)

Duke: (Opens door) I forgot my h... Foul PLAY!

Christian: This isn't hockey! No.. she.. I

Duke: It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside?

Satine: Oh Duke. Beautifully spoken. Let me introduce you, the writer.

Duke : The writer?

Satine: Yes, we were rehearsing.

Duke: What kind of fool do you take me for?

Christian:...

Duke: Don't answer that. You expect me to believe scantily clad, in the

arms of another man, in the middle of the night, you were rehearsing.

Toulouse: How's the rehearsal going? Should we take it from the top?

Satie: I hope the piano's in tune.

SED :Can I offer you a drink?

Duke: Finally! I've been hinting at one all night!!

Harold: OH mi goodness!

Satine: You see, you filled me with such inspiration, that I called an

emergency rehearsal.

Duke: If you're rehearsing, where's Zidler?

Satine: Uh, don't want to bother Harold?

Harold: (Bursts through door) Duke, I'm most terribly sorry.

Duke: It's ok, we can't all be prompt!

Harold: Huh?

Satine: It's all right, he knows all about the emergency rehearsal?

Harold: Emergency rehearsal? *in thought* if I just keep smiling,

they'll

have no idea I have no idea what is going on.

Satine: To incorporate the Duke's artistic ideas.

Harold: I'm sure Audrey will be only too delighted...

Toulouse: Audrey went bye bye!

Harold:What?!?!?

Satine: Harold, the cat's out of the bag. The duke is already a fan of

our new writers work. And that's why he's so keen to invest.

Harold: Invest? Invest! Oh yes invest! You couldn't blame me for trying

to hide our writer.

Duke: Does he have a name.

Christian: Hello, I'm Christian! I'm three and a half years old!

Harold: My dear Duke, let's peruse the paper work in my office.

Duke: What's the story?

Harold: The story?

Duke: If you want to trick me into investing, I need to know the story.

Harold: Well, the story's about... Toulouse.

Toulouse: The story's about me?

Duke: I'm leaving!

Toulouse: JK! The story's about.. uh...

Christian: It's about love!

Duke: Love?

Christian: It's about love, overcoming all obstacles!

Toulouse: And it's set in Switzerwand!!

Duke: Switzerland?

Harold: Exotic Switzerland?

Christian: Exotic Switzerland? It's set in India you idiots! And

there's

a courtesan, the most beautiful courtesan in all the world. But her

kingdom's invaded by an evil Duke, er, maharajah! And to save her

kingdom.....

Satie: Courtesan's have kingdoms?

Christian: She has to sleep with the evil maharajah. And on the night

of

the seduction, she mistakes a penniless, penni- penniless sitar player

for the maharajah. He wasn't trying to trick her or anyh=thing, but he

was dressed like a freakahajah, because he's appearing in a play!

Argentinean: I will play the penniless tango-dancing sitar player. He

sings like an angel, but dance like the devil!

Duke: O...k. What happens next?

Christian: The Sitar player and the courtesan have to hide their love

from the evil maharajah.

Satie: And the sitar player's sitar is magical, it can only speak the

truth.

Toulouse: And I will play the magical sitar!! blingie blingie blingie!

You are hot! sizzle! blingie blingie blingie, you are uglier than

"Sarah", and you are.

All but duke:NO!

Duke: And he tells the maharajah what be goin on!

Harold: Tell him about the cancan.

Christian: The tantric cancan is...

Harold: A lot of adjectives that the production embodies! It will be

tremoundous stupendous a gargantuan bedazzlement a sensual ravishment

it

will be...

Satie: Glissando!

Harold: Spectacular Spectacusl, no words are the vernacular, can

describe

this great event, you'll be dumb with wonderment! RETURNS ARE FIXED AT

10%, you must agree that's excellent! And on top of your fees.

Company-not Duke: You'll be involved artistically. So exciting the

audience will sleep and snore. So delighting we will run it fifty more!

So exciting the audience wil sleep and snore. So delighting, we will

run

it fifty more.

SED: Arabians.

Satine: Courtesans.

Argentinean: Acrobats.

Satie: Juggling bears.

Toulouse: Exotic women.

Company-except Duke: Fire eaters! Musclemen contourtaianists. Intrigue,

danger, and romance. Electric lights machinery and all that electricty!

So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer! So delighting it will

run

for fifty years1 So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer so

delighting it will run for fifty years! Spectacular spectacular no word

are no vernacular can describe this great event you'll be dumb with

wonderment!

Satie: Ding ding dong!

Company-ed: The hills aer alive with the sound of music! So exciting

the

audience will stomp and cheer so delighting it will run for fifty

years.

So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer, so delighting it will

run

for fifty years!

Duke: What happens in the end!

Christian: The coutesan and sitar man are pulled apart by an evil pla.

Satine: But in she hears his song! *in thought* how do I come up with

these words?

Christian: And their love is just too strong.

Duke: It's a little bit funny. This feeling inside!!!

Company-ed: So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer so

delighting

it will run for fifty years!

Christian: The sitar player's secret song, helps to flee the evil one.

Th

ought the tyrant rants and rails, it is all to no avail!

Harold: I am the evil maharajah, you will not escape!

Satine: Oh, Harold, no one could play him like you could.

Harold: Yes, I am evil. And no one will!

Compand-ed: So exciting we'll make the, laugh and make them cry! So

delighting...

Duke: And in the end, should someone die?

Satine: Way to spoil the ending, Richard!!!

Company-ed: So exciting the audience will stomp and cheer so delighting

it will run for fifty years!

Duke: Generally I like it!

Toulouse: He likes our song!

Duke: The play!!

Toulouse: Oh yeah, YAY!!!

~~~~Stop~~~~

Andy: Why are we stopping it now?

Tracey: Mere needs a break!

Andy: Fine!

Me: GRR!

Andy: See you in a chapter-hehe!

~~~~

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