Chapter 19: The Pain of Discovery

A/N: Okay just wanted to say hi because I can't figure out what else to say. Oh wait, here I go, contrary to popular belief (by one person) I am changing the end of my story because I realized that. well it stinks, so be patient. I promise I'll get on it as soon as possible. Any reviewing may help my writer's block disappear. *****************************

In the darkness of the night torches twinkled and danced. Men patrolled the battlefield looking for the dead and wounded. As the night fell further, the Dwarf and Elf headed towards the gathering. Neither knew the out come of their friends. Gandalf was alive and so was Aragorn. But what of the others, Pippin, Arway, and Éomer.

Around them, the ground was littered with the bodies of the dead. And it ran with blood of all, both black and red. Creatures of almost every race had fallen in the battle. But all they wanted to find was two.

As the two walked, they spoke little and their eyes roamed much.

"Something is wrong Gimli, I feel it in my bones."

"Why would you say such a thing? The evil is destroyed."

"That is not what worries me."

"Is that."?

"Yes, it's Celeb."

The horse came up to the two and whined. It was one of sadness. The two fallowed the horse not knowing what was waiting ahead.

The five hundred yard walk became a journey a century long. Legolas could feel deep inside of him the horror. They had fallen. He could feel it. His heart tore with the thoughts and tears filled his eyes. He did not know for sure, there was still some hope, but his pace slowed to a shuffle.

Gimli jogged ahead to the spot and stopped immediately. There, before him was a mass of evil and yet the body of pureness. Surrounded by trolls, orcs, and other evil beings, lay the fair features of an Elf. They lay on their front, but the Dwarf recognized them on first glance. And he now understood the sudden sadness that had claimed him during the battle. He dared not touch the being for fear he would disturb their peace.

Turning slowly, he faced the Elf as he approached. Sorrow filled his usually stone face. And he saw the slight hope dies instantly inside of Legolas. The Elf's eyes became bleak and Gimli cringed. ~~~

Legolas came and stood next to Gimli. He saw the twisted sight with his own eyes. They filled with tears, which danced forlornly down his cheeks. In slow motion, Legolas made his way to the fallen. ~~~

Gimli watched as Legolas slipped the quiver from the slender being. Very gently, he rolled her over. There, with the grime of war, was Arway. Still Gimli watched as Legolas looked up at him and on the usually graceful face was confusion. Suddenly, the situation became even more sorrowful when he realized that through all the battles in the last year, and all the sorrowful situations Legolas still did not understand death. He could not grasp the idea. Gimli turned his back on the sight, tears obscuring his vision. He ran, as far and as fast as he could from death and the confusion of his Elvish friend. ~~~

Legolas looked back on Arway. Her hair and clothing was soaked with blood; her beautiful skin tainted with it. On her face was a struggle. It lay in peace and concentration, and still there was pain there mixed with the others. He paced a hand on her face and caressed it. The tears stopped. He no longer needed tears in his eyes for his heart was crying deep inside of him. As he bent over her, the tears on his cheeks fell on to her face. And here, bending over her, he called her name. Each time it became quieter, until it was inaudible even to Elven ears.

He called her as Elves can without speaking, but still he received no answer. He could not comprehend it; his mind would not let him. Then, he gave up. He sat on the bleeding ground with confusion of his face and pain in his heart. Never before had he felt like this, and he knew he would die. Maybe not now or in the next few years, but before the last Elf left Middle- earth.

He looked down once more upon Arway, bent in and kissed her lips. It was bittersweet. The feel of her lips, the taste of her was so innocent, so sweet. But there was the saltiness of his tears, her death. He released her lips and as he did so, lifted his hands from her face.

Then, he sat looking on her face. Tears in his eyes, and their stains on his cheeks, but none were falling. Sorrow and confusion captured his face. This is how Aragorn and Gimli found him. ~~~

Aragorn came to the spot and halted. Legolas looked at him just as he had to Gimli. The look tore at Aragorn's heart and for a brief moment in time, he could do nothing but look into the face frozen from motion. Gently, Aragorn pushed Legolas out of the way and knelt next to the fallen. He felt her head, which was turning cool. Her skin was paling before their eyes. Placing two fingers on her neck, he felt for a pulse. Nothing. Trying again he placed his head on her chest and listened. Hope entered his being. Faintly, he heard the beating of her heart.

With the glimmer of hope, he placed his hands upon her head and called to her. But she neither stirred nor came to a lighter sleep. Carefully, he examined Arway; but could find nothing wrong. No wound had her. It was as if the Black Shadow held her yet, there was something else there that truly held her. The rise and fall of her chest was small, her breathing shallow, he had to do something. He was about to pick her up when Gimli stopped him.

"Look it is tangled with the beat." The Dwarf mumbled.

Arway's right arm was pinned under a troll. Gimli pushed it off and found Pippin beneath. And there lay Arway's fingers on his temple. Gimli went to remove them when two beings rode up.

"Halt there. Do not touch anything." Elladan dismounted and came up to the group. Quickly, the Elf took in the scene.

"I cannot do anything for her, she needs Lord Elrond's care." Aragorn told the son of Elrond.

Elladan nodded. "I believe you are correct, she needs his touch."

Aragorn scooped up Arway and placed her on Celeb. He put her sword and one dagger into the horse. They both had been at her side along with two empty sheaths. And where the others were, he could only assume. Then, he took her quiver and bow and placed them on the horse.

Aragorn checked Arway one last time as the twins mounted. He had been so busy making sure Arway was not dead that he had forgotten about Legolas.

"What are you doing?" Legolas questioned. He had awakened from his trance.

"She must get to the Elves, Legolas. Only they can help her. Death has not claimed her yet."

"Then I am going also."

"No." Aragorn stated. He grabbed hold of Legolas who fought against him. The Ranger nodded to Elladan and Elrohir. They rode off with Celeb and Arway. As the horse disappeared from his view Aragorn released his friend slowly. "There is nothing either of us can do. Lord Elrond will care for her and we will be told of her death or survival."

Legolas stopped all his motion. Aragorn had said death before survival. There was little, if any hope of her life. He looked off in the direction the horses and taken. Tears danced to a sorrowful song down his cheeks.

Aragorn and Gimli looked in the same direction. Éomer, who had rode up at the Elves departure, watched too. Tears marked each cheek. They all loved her in their own way.

Aragorn was the first to turn away. He picked up the young wounded hobbit and carried him away to the camp. Éomer went with him, for Gandalf had returned.

***

Gimli turned when the two had left, and began to walk away. When he did so, the realization hit that his blonde Elf friend loved Arway. Why hadn't he seen it? It was because he had never taken interest in such a thing as love. And they had been busy, very busy with helping the Ring-Bearer. But these were no excuses not to see it. With an even heavier heart, he turned back to Legolas. The two stood there all throughout the night.

The stars burned high above them beckoning Gimli to watch them. Legolas had taught him to love and respect the stars in Lórien, now he looked at them for comfort. But while his attention strayed and the sky above him could no longer hold his attention, Legolas stood erect. Never did he blink or turn an eye. He was watching in the direction of the departure, forever forlorn. And when the sun began to wake, Gimli finally had the heart to move his friend.

"Come Legolas you will see her again."

Legolas looked down on Gimli, his fears were reflected in the Dwarf's eyes. But he knew no good could come of him just standing there. Yet, he wished to, it seemed all a dream when he did. Reluctantly, he turned his back on the horizon and began to walk through the field.

As he walked, Legolas's eyes were on the dead. He felt that he would find her again. Yet, this time she would be dead, and nothing would save her. Near the place where she had fallen, Legolas saw the glitter of metal and pulled a dagger from an orc. Cleaning it off he found it belonged to Arway. Holding it sent tears to his eyes; she had used it moments before her falling, he could feel it. She had fallen. Fallen from the living, yet not in the clutches of death. He still could not comprehend her condition. There was nothing he could do and that tore at him more than anything.

Gimli looked over at Legolas who clasped the dagger to his chest. He gave the Elf a nudge and they began to walk again.

Legolas halted again. Memories ran through his head. Her voice was repeating so many things inside of his weary mind.

'I do not run Legolas. I do not hide when danger comes.tell me what I am.'

'.there is no reason to doubt it.'

"I don't doubt it. I no longer doubt." Legolas whispered.

Gimli looked up at the Elf. What was he mumbling to himself and why? But the reason continued for he did not move.

'He would not wish to remember in his heart what he has done, what he created.'

'These Elves were fierce warriors, and yet lighthearted people. They had the wisdom of the old and the hands of an aged craftsman wrapped into one.They were tall, lean, and beautiful. They looked just like you and all the rest.'

He remembered the look in her eyes and the one that held her face while in Isenguard. He saw her face talking about her people. And the way she shimmered in the night under stars and moon.

'It is nothing that I have done but it is what was and what no one could foresee.'

'I was told long ago that my death would come after a period of strong feeling. This feeling would be for the want of something I shall never have. This thing will be the destruction of me, for it is the destruction of most things that it meets. And never shall this thing be close to my grasp. But it will be the desire of the feeling. It will be a thing of beauty and power. It will be serene yet deadly. And if by chance I did grasp this thing, what is created with it may be horrible, if not more destructive then the thing itself. And in my dying, I will be close to this thing yet so far away.'

Legolas stopped and turned back to where he had seen Elladan, Elrohir, and Arway ride off. "I love you Arway. I was your destruction," he whispered into the wind.

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