Exclusive Interviews by Shuuichi Minamino

Notes and Disclaimers: Che-chan here, again with a new gag series to go with another more serious on-going fanfic. Hopefully, this fic would tickle a few funny bones for a few minutes. Let's just say that I need something to ease me somehow. Hunter X Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are both owned by Mr. Yoshihiro Togashi. Though the content of these interviews are based on the anime, not all reflect the truth. There are times when the characters will be twisted. Beware of possible spoilers from time to time.

YYH Characters included:
Kurama / Shuuichi Minamino - an extremely famous (both in the anime and out) character. He was once an infamous youkai (demon) thief with just as much charisma as his human alter-ego. He is mostly nice and friendly, so long as one would not trigger his temper. He can be pretty deadly if pushed too far.
Koenma - the prince of Reikai (Spirit World). Usually seen as this loud, annoying kid, the only consolation one can get from him is that he IS quite comical, and he has an extremely good-looking teenaged form worth drooling for. He can be pretty responsible and business-minded if needed.

Episode 1 - Gon Freeces

A strangely short, very young boy stood majestically (despite his size) on the director's seat. He wore what seems to be a simple plain blue Chinese style clothing, a big hat the size of his head resting atop his short brown hair. His eyes seem to be almost closed because of the narrowness, and to make his whimsical appearance complete, a blue pacifier rested between his child's lips.

The boy held up his hand. The lights around the studio flashed abruptly at the simple signal, focusing specifically on a certain spot on the stage. The momentarily busy audience has now grown quiet, silent murmurs rising from time to time, different fingers pointing at the stage, some in amusement, some in impatience. Various crewmembers started to run to the positions assigned to them, avoiding the red-lighted cameras on their way. A lively music came up to blare around the studio's surroundings, the voice of an announcer rising up as the single sound that stands off the most.

"Welcome to our exclusive interviews of the most beloved characters of Hunter X Hunter! For further details, here's your host--the Romantic Soldier himself-- Mr. Shuuichi Minamino!"

Huge bursts of applause and feminine squeals erupted from the audience as a tall figure of a long-haired man emerged from one side of the stage. The man's almost feminine face looked very young, probably in his late teens, with flaming red hair cascading behind his back and shoulders, his charming emerald eyes catching every audience member, making most of the women sigh in a dream-like state.

Seeing that everybody's eyes were on him, Shuuichi Minamino flashed his most charming smile as of late. As supposed to be expected, half the female population and a few of the young and new crewmembers who still aren't used to the host's playfulness, fainted right on the spot. But fortunately, due to circumstances that have happened ever since the history of the show, a group of paramedics went to the scene to aid the "victims".

Used to such reactions, Shuuichi Minamino proceeded. "Welcome everyone! This is Shuuichi Minamino--" The young man was forced to stop his introduction due to the insistent screams the other stronger half of the audience gave out. "Thank you," he bade them good-naturedly, and continued. "Again, I am Shuuichi Minamino, more commonly known as Kurama of Yu Yu Hakusho." Again, a series of screams, and the constant shouts of "Marry me!" sounded from the audience. Shuuichi had to stop yet again.

"Cut!" the director yelled out. His voice was drowned by the women's voices, but he held up his hand high enough for everyone to see. The cameras immediately stopped rolling. The young boy with the bossy voice jumped up to stand on his seat and faced the audience. "Minna," he addressed them. "I know Mr. Minamino is very famous among you all, but can we please suppress our emotions for the moment?" he asked in a patient tone, even if deep in his mind, he was full of annoyance and regret. 'I knew I should've gotten Kazuma instead,' he thought to himself, thinking that the less than famous, orange-haired man as a host would be less chaotic.

Once the audience has settled down, the cameras started rolling again. The flushing, slightly embarrassed host stood in his usual place, flashing the camera yet another smile. "As I was saying, I will be your host for tonight's show. For our first interview, may we please bring out...Mr. Gon Freeces!"

The lively music sounded again, and a [now] decent applause was offered as a small boy of twelve came up the stage, a smile brighter than the sun, moon and comets combined shining through his innocent, child-like face. His dark mass of hair was standing up on a very familiar style, and his clothes were composed of a semi-formal, blue checkered shirt and black pants.

Kurama gestured for them to sit down on the chairs provided for them both. Seeing the other man's friendly smile, Gon's smile widened (it WAS possible). "Hi!" he greeted the other enthusiastically.

Kurama instantly decided that he liked the kid. "Hello," he greeted back, with as much enthusiasm as the other gave out. Well, maybe half the boy's enthusiasm anyway. That much perkiness in his voice may lose him his charm, and he didn't want that.

"I was told that I shouldn't mistake my host for a girl. At first, I was confused, but now I know what the people backstage mean," Gon said, slightly amused. He turned on his seat and waved at the shadows on the side of the stage from which he had come from. "Thank you everyone! You've been very nice to me during my stay!"

Kurama could only blink as Gon was met by several uneasy waves back. Being that he's had many comments about his looks being more like a girl's, he let the innocent boy pass. But what he couldn't believe was how the other seemed to be talking to the crewmembers, his voice audible in the stage microphones. They all know that once on stage, people must act as if the world around them does not exist. Apparently, Gon had just broken one of the sacred rules.

"Uhm, Gon-kun," he started, in attempts to gain the boy's attention back. Gon finally stopped his waving and turned back to him. "We should start the interview now, don't you think?"

"Hai!" replied the boy.

"Okay," chuckled the red-haired host. "Now, you've become a Hunter at such a young age. Is there anything you would like to say about that?"

Gon grinned. "That's because I've had a lot of help from my friends!" At this, the young boy turned to the camera. "Hi, Killua! Hi, Leorio! Hi, Kurapika! You guys are the best!" he exclaimed happily, waving frantically at the camera.

Shaking his head in amusement, Kurama just proceeded on getting his job done. "For those who haven't been informed, a Hunter is a title used in an alternate world Togashi-sama, me and Mr. Freeces' wonderful creator, conjured up in his latest manga. Hunters are given special privileges, and are regarded as most probably the more highly ranked people in their world. But to become one, an applicant must go through a series of extremely difficult tests to prove his worthiness," he explained. He turned to Gon for confirmation, to which the other was happy to agree on.

"Your reason for becoming a Hunter was to find your father. During the course of the Hunter Exam, I've noticed that you were more than determined to pass it, and often you say that it was because of your father. Why is that?"

"You see, my father is a very famous and strong Hunter," Gon replied, now turning serious. "And at that time, I told myself that if I wasn't strong enough to become what he was, I am not worthy to see him."

"I see that you're very determined and goal-oriented at such a young age," commented Kurama. "But tell us, though. After the exam, you didn't go straight to your father, did you?"

"Nope," said the other. "I was off to find Killua."

"And Killua-san is...?"

"My best friend!" exclaimed Gon happily, and again, he stood up and faced the camera. "Killua!" he bade, waving a frantic hand again.

"Er...okay," muttered the young host, uneasily pulling Gon by the sleeves and ushering him back to his seat. "And why did you temporarily set your foremost reason aside for this 'Killua'?"

"Because Killua's brother is a bastard!" said the boy vehemently, a frown marring his supposedly cheerful face.

Kurama blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Illumi Zoldick," Gon promptly said. "He's the coldest, meanest, most arrogant and manipulative man I've ever met!"

* * * * *

"Aah-choo!"

The trembling old man who was cowering under the table stole a glance at his would-be murderer. The pale, raven-haired young man with the calm face, also the one who was just momentarily threatening his life, now blinked, surprised at his own actions.

"Damn," the young one muttered to himself. "I should stop sleeping out in the open next time." He glanced at the old man under the table, who now went back to the rolled-up coward that he was a few seconds ago. Not that he could blame him. He has that kind of effect on people after all.

Gracing the man with his infamous, emotionless gaze, Illumi spoke, one hand that was nonchalantly clutching three humongous needles extended. "Do you have a tissue?"

* * * * *

"Okay, Gon-kun. What made you say such...harsh words towards somebody?"

"Because it's true!" Gon said, his face determined. "He played with Killua's mind and made him kill Bodoro-san. Bodoro-san is one of the applicants in the Hunter Exam. He's now dead because of Illumi."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that it was Killua who killed him?" asked Kurama.

"Well, yeah, but he didn't mean it," defended Gon, his frown still tainting his innocent face. "Killua's brother said some very bad words to him and made him quit the Exam."

"Ah...I see," muttered Kurama, scratching his head. He glanced at the screen beside the camera that flashed the questions he was supposed to ask, not understanding much about the boy's emotional outburst. He cleared his throat, shifting his eyes back to Gon. "This may be an improper question to ask a boy your age, but our scriptwriter seems to insist."

"It's okay, you can ask me anything, Kurama-san," said Gon, his cheerful smile back in place.

Kurama nodded. "Have you ever heard of yaoi?" he asked carefully.

Gon merely blinked. "Yaw...what?"

"Uhm, yaoi," Kurama said uneasily. "It is a term used for...er..." An uneasy laugh. "Gon-kun, have you ever read any romance novels?"

"Eew!" exclaimed the boy. "You mean like those books Mito-san reads where these people do some kissing and cuddling?"

"I...think that's it," Kurama said, nodding. "I take it you don't like those things?"

"What are you talking about? I'm a kid! Aunt Mito said I shouldn't be reading those things," said Gon.

"I...uh, understand..." Kurama then looked over his shoulder to catch the eye of a young girl's shadow behind the darkness of the side stage. The girl waved innocently, and ushered him to go on. Kurama looked at her incredulously, but the girl insisted, waving a frantic hand towards him to go on with the show. "So, I guess you don't know much about yaoi or shounen ai?"

"Huh?" Gon blinked. "I don't get what you're saying."

The red-haired host sighed, knowing that he should be careful with his words lest some people start barraging him with rotten vegetables because he was "soiling" the kid's mind. 'Stupid script', he muttered to himself.

"You see, Gon, in the world of anime, it's very prominent to find fans who are very much inclined to shounen ai. It's...er, it has something to do with two males. Do you understand?"

"Two males. Okay." Gon nodded.

"And being that your friendship with Killua seems to be most sweet and obvious in the show, some people think that you look good together."

Gon blinked. "Really?"

Kurama frowned. "Uh...yeah, really."

A slight pause ensued between them. By the looked of utter surprise and confusion in Gon's eyes, Kurama almost wished that he hadn't said those words. Seconds ticked by, but still the silence deafened him.

Until...

"WOW!" exclaimed Gon. As if it had grown into a habit, he faced the camera again. "Killua! Did you here that? He said that we look good together!"

"Gon," Kurama called, waving his hand in front of the boy. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

"Yes!" replied Gon happily. "That me and Killua look good together!"

"No. I mean...yes, that's it, but it's---er, not the way you think."

"What do you mean? Killua and I aren't good together after all?"

"No, no, that's not it. 'Look good together' doesn't exactly pertain to mere friendship. Some people connect it with love and...well, that's where 'shounen ai' comes from, love between two guys. Do you understand?"

Gon stared at him for a while. "But I DO love Killua! He's my best friend!"

Kurama fainted on the spot.

* * * * *

In some nearby hotel room, three distinct figures were huddled up on the foot of the bed, facing the television. All three heads were graced by huge sweatdrops, glum eyes staring back at the glaring screen.

"I pity that host," mumbled the tallest one, scratching his head. "What the hell's with Gon and his ignorance anyway!?"

"Leorio, for once, I agree with you," said the blonde-haired one beside the other. He then turned his head to the youngest of them, taking note of the boy's just as exasperated stare. "Killua, what do you have to say about this?"

The white-haired boy's face was graced by a small blush. He knew what the host was talking about of course, he just wondered why his best friend still does not get it. He turned away, refusing to catch the blonde's gaze. "Since when did Gon start saying intelligent things anyway?"

* * * * *

"Kurama-san? Kurama-san, are you all right?"

Emerald green eyes opened wearily at the sound of that insistent call. A small hand was waving itself in front of his eyes, catching his attention. A low groan erupted from the man's throat, a steady hand clutching his head.

"You fell on the floor. Are you okay?" asked Gon, his eyes very much worried.

Everything dawned on Kurama again. The interview, the boy's constant misunderstandings...

He turned his head towards the shadows again, glaring at the silhouetted figure of the show's scriptwriter. 'To hell with the script!' he told himself as he pulled himself up. "I'm fine," he said, reassuring the young boy. He smiled at him uneasily, far too busy with himself to notice the huge crowd (mostly worried and frantic females) that the director and the crew were trying to hold down. "Forget the last question, okay? Let's just settle that you and Killua are very good friends."

"Okay!" the young boy grinned.

"To move on, let's go to the next segment of our show. We have especially chosen a few lucky audience members who would like to say a few words to you. Will that be okay with you, Gon?"

"Of course!"

"Right," Kurama stood up and gestured to the microphone on the middle aisle of the audience seats. "May the first audience member step up please?"

Upon saying this, a middle-aged woman with joyous, tearful eyes stood up and dashed towards the microphone. "Gon-chan," she began, clutching the microphone as if she was holding on for dear life. She was looking at Gon lovingly, like the way a mother would look at her long lost child. "I've seen how much of a good boy you are, Gon-chan. Would you do a poor old woman a favor and be my son?"

* * * * *

"What!?"

Obaasan let out a small laugh, her gaze shifting to the enraged woman beside her. "Calm down, Mito, it's a very innocent question," she said, an amused smile still fixed on her peaceful face.

"But mother!" retorted Mito, a shaky finger pointing at the TV. "Who does that woman think she is!? Gon!" she now glared at the screen. "You dare make a wrong move, and I won't do your laundry for a month!"

* * * * *

"Er...ehe?" Gon scratched his head. For some miraculous miracle, the nice old lady was now clutching on to his ankle, not in the least bit letting go no matter how much he tried to shake her away.

"Uh, ma'am, would you mind letting Mr. Freeces go? We have a show to do," pleaded Kurama, tapping the woman lightly on the shoulder.

"No!!! But I want him as a son! I've lived a lonely life for eternity! I just want someone like Mr. Gon to take care of me!" wailed the hysterical lady, shaking her head vigorously to make Kurama let go of her.

"Mito-san's going to kill me..." mumbled Gon uneasily, still trying to pry away from the...er, nice old lady's hold.

"Madam, please!" pleaded Kurama again, now trying to pull the lady's arms away from his interviewee. But his attempts were in vain, the lady's grip was as strong as steel. 'Good gods! I've battled the largest of demons but I can't even pull this woman away?' For a moment, he wondered if this woman was human...

"Oh!" the woman exclaimed, her wide eyes widening all the more at the mere recognition of the host's face. "You're Kurama! Minamino! Oh, I've seen you too! You're the one who risked his life to save his human mother! Ooooohhh, that was one of the most tear-jerking moments I've seen in my life! You are such a good boy!" ranted the woman, clutching onto Kurama this time, patting his head enthusiastically. "I want YOU to be my son too!"

* * * * *

Shiori Minamino suddenly choked on the tea she was drinking upon hearing the woman's statement. A series of continuous coughs erupted from her frail body, her breathing shortened by the shock.

"Honey, are you all right?" asked a very concerned Hatanaka, Shiori's new husband, Kurama's stepfather. He reached out to rub his wife's back to ease her from the coughs. Alas, Shiori was too much into choking to give him an audible reply.

Shuuichi Hatanaka, Kurama's stepbrother, grinned playfully. "Oohh...Shuu-ani's in trou-ble!"

* * * * *

"OUT! Get that psychotic lady out of my show, NOW!"

Kurama and Gon watched idly as various crewmembers carried the wailing woman out of the stage upon the director's order, half relieved, half feeling sorry, being that theirs were two of the kindest hearts to ever exist.

"So much for our time," said Kurama, his eyes now on the golden wrist watch he was wearing. He turned to Gon and smiled at him. "Thank you so much for your time, Gon-kun, it was really nice meeting you," he said, his smile ever so warm and friendly.

"It's nice to meet you too, Kurama-san!" bade the cheerful boy.

Kurama now faced the audience. "That's all for tonight! I speak in behalf of our show as I bid you goodbye. For tomorrow night's interview, please watch out for none other than Gon-kun's friend, Killua Zoldick!"

Applause and the momentary squeals that can't seem to be held any longer. Then...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Gon! Shuuichi! Any of you two will do! My SONS!!!"

The director has had enough. "That's it. I'm gonna MURDER that woman!!!"

Gon was now searching for shelter behind a safe chair. Kurama though, made a dash for the small director, pulling him back from running over to the hysterical woman. "No, Koenma, stop! Control yourself! You're the prince of Reikai, for goodness's sake!"

"Oh, that's right!" Still enraged, Koenma turned to the camera. "Jorju! Hit that crazy woman's life file with the death stamp, now!"

"No, Jorju, don't!"

"You DARE alter the command of THE god of death, Kurama!?"

"Ahaha...of course not, Koenma-sama," said Kurama uneasily, but still held Koenma's frantic child's body above the floor, ushering the crew to take the woman away in attempts to save her life. He faced the audience again, flashing them his most beautiful smile, planning to shift their attention from Koenma's act of murder to himself.

The plan worked. Several screams erupted from the females of the audience. Half of the remaining half of the original number now fainted as well, and at least one quarter of the men's population have now converted to the...er, other side, and were also cheering for Kurama as well. The remaining parts of the audience who were left sane, were either old ladies or men with very strong possession of testosterone. Not that all of them were still all right. A very small fraction of them now saw Kurama beautiful, and were in the midst of doing a sick petition to convert his...er, gender.

Fortunately, the host was oblivious to these schemes, and just went on cheerfully. "I hope everybody enjoyed tonight's show. Again, this your ever devoted host, Kurama, wishing you all good night! Take care everyone!"

And at that, Kurama exited, taking Gon's hand on his free one while the other was busy holding Koenma's short body on his side. The loud lady was finally given tranquilizer and was now sleeping soundly, while the remaining crewmembers were calling more paramedics to aid the audience's hysterical state. The men who were supposedly on rounds to get more signatures signed in their petition were abducted by the local hospital for mental health, and were currently being drove back to their place to ease them off their absurd fixation.

Definitely, all was well, except for the heavy decrease in the expected audience members for the next show. The cheesy, cheerful music that served as the show's theme song sounded again, and the cameras finally went blank.

End of Episode 1