Exclusive Interviews by Shuuichi Minamino

Notes and Disclaimers: I just noticed something in my fanfics...I suck in doing titles ^_^ Hahaha! =P Anyway, Hunter X Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are both owned by Mr. Yoshihiro Togashi. Though the content of these interviews are based on the anime, not all reflect the truth. There are times when the characters will be twisted. Beware of possible spoilers from time to time.

YYH Characters / Terminologies mentioned:
Shuuichi Minamino -
see chapter 1.
Koenma Daioh - see chapter 1.
Hiei Jaganshi - Kurama's best friend. Not exactly gifted with height, but is good with other things. He has the best speed among all the main characters of YYH. His temper is also as quick as his body, and will blow up at a single comment. He is said to be Killua's counterpart.
Jaou Ensatsu Kokuryuuha - this is what Hiei yells whenever he summons the kokuuryuuha, his black dragon. He keeps this dragon in his right arm, protected by a bandage.

Episode 2 - Killua Zoldick

"Good evening everyone!" greeted a cheerful host as he stood in front of a more quiet audience.

Outside, one will be able to see the strict sign that clearly states "No Kurama fans!" in very thick, very red letters, underlined twice for more emphasis...as if it needed any more. Care of a nifty Reikai gadget, the director and his minions...er, staff, were able to check whether or not the incoming audience-to-be were safe or not.

Kurama was somehow relieved. Though he has learned how to be comfortable with his fans over the years, he still didn't like the idea of people hyperventilating and losing their sanity because of him. Besides, the peace and quiet was rather nice for a change. "As I have mentioned last night, we will have yet another special guest here with us," he said, his smile still intact. "Let us all welcome...Mr. Killua Zoldick!"

Several squeals were heard from all sides of the audience seats. As if they've already learned their lesson from last time, the crew immediately ran to the scene to check whether their "anti - Kurama fan" gadgets were working. But alas, they weren't screaming for Kurama. The screaming was directed for someone else.

"Yo," greeted a pale, white-haired young boy on the stage. He was wearing a loose white shirt with a few red and yellow parts tracing the sleeves and the area around the neck. His blue jeans were loose, scrunching together on his ankles, atop black and white sneakers.

Upon hearing the boy's voice, more squeals were heard. Several banners that said "The Official Killua Fan Club", "The REAL Killua Fan Club", "The First Killua Fan Club", "The Best Killua Fan Club", and so on and so forth--all claiming their possessive titles--were held up. It didn't seem to matter that Killua was years younger than most of the fans. They all looked ready to jump and kiss the floor he was standing on even if the world froze over.

"It seems as though Mr. Zoldick is quite famous among our audience tonight," commented Kurama with his usual smile. He then gestured Killua to follow him to their seats, similar to what he had done with Gon. The redhead then took out his cue cards and faced Killua as comfortably as his position allowed him to. "So, Mr. Killua. You are a member of the legendary assassin family of the Zoldick's, aren't you?"

"Yyep," replied the boy.

"How's it like being raised around people who teach you things that contradict the usual teachings of society?"

Killua blinked. "You mean how it's like being raised by sadistic, twisted minded people who keep corpses around their house for ornaments and who can care less about other pathetic morons' lives and loved ones?"

The host blinked. "Uhm...Mr. Killua, I'd much rather prefer my version of the question."

Killua shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh well, but I think my version was more specific." He then looked up, not aware of his host's huge sweatdrop. The white-haired boy seemed to be deep in thought. "It has its advantages and disadvantages. I get to be stronger than the next person for one thing."

"Yes, we've heard of you opening a door with quite a number of tons during one time in your show," said the host with a small nod.

"Hehe, pretty good for a boy my age if I say so myself. That got better when I learned how to use nen. Well, anyway, the disadvantage is that I can't relate much to other people's beliefs. Like that time with Gon's Aunt Mito. I got myself slapped on the face because I wanted to kill the poor fox bear cub!"

A series of boos emitted from the crowd. Obviously, they didn't like the idea of their proclaimed god being slapped (even if a slap would be but an ant's bite compared to the other pains Killua has experienced, but their minds seemed too fogged up to remember that). Thus, as if having but one mind to control them all, all the Killua fans in the audience brought out a bunch of Mito merchandise and started mutilating them with needles, hand bags, shoes, hair pins, brooches, forks, wooden cabinets, laundry soaps, and many other things too questionable to mention.

"HEY!" Killua yelled, seeing the audience's current activity. "I LIKE Aunt Mito! Drop those things right now!" he ordered, pointing a menacing finger at them all.

As if caught doing something extremely bad, the fans all hid the mutilated pictures and plushies (mostly decapitated to the horror of some who hate to be disapproved by 'Killua-sama'). Sewing kits were immediately brought out.

Kurama, in attempts to ease the atmosphere down, ushered Killua to go back to his seat. "So, Mr. Killua, despite saying that 'Aunt Mito' slapped you, you said you liked her. Why?"

"Because she's very nice," replied the young Zoldick with a big smile. "She's the one who showed me what a real mother can do. Not that I'm saying that I hate my mom, of course. She just tends to do these irritating practices that make me want to claw at her face."

Kurama's eyes were fixed on the cards he held in his hands, eyes widened incredulously. "Which...you actually did, according to my sources..." A huge sweatdrop.

Killua laughed. "Yep, I did! Well, we kind of got into a fight, but it was nothing major."

'Nothing major!? I can't even raise my voice on 'kaasan!' thought the disturbed host. Then again, he couldn't picture his dear, sweet mother being like Killua's loud one, ushering him to kill and torture other people over and over. She'd rather rot and die than see her Shuuichi do such things. She can't even stand killing a measly cockroach for one thing. It was a good thing she's still oblivious to Kurama's past lest she dies from heart attack.

"Now, speaking of families," continued Kurama, in attempts to dismiss the fact that he and Killua had different views of their own mothers. "Mr. Gon had mentioned something about your eldest brother, Illumi. Your match during the last part of the Hunter Exam seemed to be the most intriguing of all among the others in the show. Can you tell us more about this 'Illumi'?"

Killua frowned, obviously disliking the subject. He then faced the camera, an annoyed look on his face. "Aniki's the coldest, meanest, most arrogant and manipulative man I've ever met."

* * * * *

"Aah-choo!"

Hisoka turned around from the television to the door, from where he heard the distinct sound of a familiar voice. He grinned at the sight of Illumi's graceful form, slightly bothered by his momentary sneeze. "Oh! Good evening to you too," greeted the magician, pressing the 'mute' button on the remote control.

"Damn it," cursed the young man, ignoring the other's greeting. "I don't believe this. Vitamins these days don't work like they used to." And upon saying this, Illumi all but acknowledged the owner of the room unlike he usually would have, and merely stepped inside and sniffled after closing the door, rubbing his head irately.

"Hey, have you heard? Your annoying brother's on TV!" said Hisoka with his ever-present smile enough to freeze hell over.

In the midst of fixing himself, Illumi looked up to place his gaze upon the magician. He blinked. "Miruki?"

A small sweatdrop. Illumi isn't one who'd practice favoritism among his siblings, but sometimes he can be really distinct with his opinion of them. "No, the other annoying brother," replied the magician. He watched his friend take his place beside him.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing at the silent TV, the remark about brothers already forgotten at the mere sight of the white-haired boy on the screen.

"Some talk show." Hisoka again pressed the 'mute' button to restore the sounds of the television. Fortunately, he took away the voices when he did. Illumi didn't hear the comment his brother gave about him. And Hisoka. As if fate knew all too well what the eldest Zoldick and the mysterious magician's hidden tempers could do...

* * * * *

(Back at the studio, this was the conversation upon Illumi's arrival; right after Hisoka muted the TV.)

Kurama laughed. "That answer seems very familiar," he commented amusedly, thinking back on his first interviewee. "I suppose that kind of says that Illumi-san somehow is the way you and Mr. Gon described him to be."

"Somehow? There's no somehow here. He IS the way Gon and I described him to be! He's a walking iceberg who has an inflated head just because he knows I won't argue with him. Like he's so special. Well, he is, but that's beside the point. Besides, I'll be stronger than him when I grow up to his age. And I'm gonna kill him too! Then I'm gonna live the life of a hermit or be with Gon! " A burst of maniacal laughter.

"Now now, that isn't very nice. You wouldn't want your aniki to hear that, would you?" asked the host good-naturedly, trying to ease down Killua's harsh words.

But Kurama's attempts in calming Killua down were in vain. The boy grunted, dismissing the subject. "Oh, don't worry. He's probably somewhere busy fu***** the hell out of Hisoka."

For a whole minute, the studio was silent. Koenma could only be thankful that his staff brought the right equipments to censor Killua's vulgar words. The audience, though, who weren't privileged enough to have Killua's words censored, were plainly...still.

It was Kurama who broke the silence. With an uneasy cough, he faced Killua again. "Uh...Killua, would you mind watching your words please? Maybe we should respect your brother a bit more. Besides, we're on General Patronage."

Killua blinked. "Oh...would you prefer it if I said it as 'Aniki _screwing_ the hell out of Hisoka' then?"

The screen went blank.

* * * * *

"What happened?" asked a (thankfully) oblivious Illumi, who was now met with a frowning Hisoka. Right after he sat himself beside the magician, and right after the other pressed the mute button, the screen suddenly went blank.

"Beats me," shrugged Hisoka in reply, and just stared at the dark screen. A few seconds passed, and he finally lost his patience. "Forget it. Let's watch something else and get back to this later," he said, pressing a few numbers on the remote. He grinned and faced the other. "Do you watch Cartoon Network?"

The TV flashed to another channel. The theme song of Captain Planet blared around the room.

"Hisoka!" Illumi winced at the very sound of the annoying, kiddy and Earth-friendly song. "Have you no respect for yourself?" he asked, a slight hint of disgust on his eternally passive face. He then made a grab for the remote and pressed a new set of numbers. "Disney is SO much better."

* * * * *

In another side of the city, Killua's friends were watching the show with pale, wide-eyed expressions. None of them seem to be in his proper state of mind, for the mere mention of the fearful magician and Killua's just as fearful aniki sent a shiver right up their spines. As if individual thoughts of them weren't bad enough...

For some reason, perhaps out of their protective instinct, Leorio and Kurapika woke up from the daze to check on their youngest companion. Seeing Gon's white skin, Leorio patted the child's head in attempts to reassure him.

Gon looked up wide-eyed. "Is it true? I didn't know Hisoka and Illumi were like that..." his voice trailed off as his eyes went back to the blank screen.

An uneasy laugh escaped from the doctor's throat. "Come on, Gon. Hisoka may be weird enough to be like that, but I doubt Killua's brother is. Besides, you know Killua, of course it's not true." Upon saying this, the two elders caught each other's pale expressions. "Then again...Illumi IS kind of weird himself. He has long hair and could pass for--well, you know..."

Kurapika nodded meekly.

Leorio leaned over his best friend, making sure that their young companion wouldn't hear. His voice came out a whisper. "This is weird, help me out here. It's not true...is it?"

Kurapika didn't answer, but his and Leorio's lines of thought were mutual. An uncomfortably graphic picture was immediately set up inside their well-informed minds. Soon, like expertly choreographed reactions, their stillness was broken by violent, icy spasms.

"Damn it, Leorio, never ask me that question again." A pause. Hisoka's manic grin. Another shudder. "Ever."

* * * * *

Kurama's smiling face appeared on the screen again a few minutes after the black out. He seemed to be rather disheveled and paler than he was supposed to be though. But whatever happened behind the blank screen would most probably be better left unknown.

"In behalf of our sponsors and staff, I apologize for the slight...difficulties we've just had in the show. For safety purposes, please take note of the 'Parental Guidance' warning that can now be seen on the bottom of your screens. If we may, Mr. Killua, shall we continue?" asked the still uneasy host.

Killua, amused with the host, nodded with a grin. He liked the guy. He's very nice. Kind of like Kurapika. Only nicer.

But on the other side of the stage, the feeling wasn't exactly mutual. 'Somebody better remind me why I went through with this job. Maybe I should've taken it as Youko Kurama or something...' Kurama glanced at his cue card. "Last time we interviewed Mr. Gon, there was a part there about yaoi. Unfortunately, a few things were put in check, and we just decided to hear your side of the story instead."

Killua sweatdropped. "Yeah, well, Gon's like that," he said with a shrug.

"So, what is your take on the topic? By watching certain episodes of the series (not to mention that disturbing comment about your brother), it is clear that you possess a mind whose knowledge with such things go beyond those of your age. The possibility of having a better answer from you is high."

A pale eyebrow rose, a grin growing in Killua's ever so confident lips. "I love the way you twist words to make them safe, you know that? We're already in Parental Guidance, you can start going frankly," he commented, his grin growing wider upon seeing the sweatdrop on the host's face.

"Uh...I'd rather not. My mother's watching," beamed the host playfully, a shaky laugh coming out of his lips.

Killua shrugged and just proceeded on answering. "About the whole yaoi thing, not that I have anything against people who support it or anything (I might lose my fans if I say anything, hehe), but come on! I mean, look at Gon. He wouldn't know what shounen romance is even if it punched him right on the face. Besides, he's my best friend, his innocence is one of his main traits. I'll never let anybody harm that...or anything that belongs to him for that matter."

The last part was said with sharp emphasis. Killua faced the audience, a distinct sparkle in his eyes. All Mito merchandize were all out of sight in a second flat.

Kurama, afraid of anymore indecent scenes in his show, acted oblivious to the threat. "Okay, that's it for the question and answer part. Let us now go to the next part of our show," he said, shifting in his seat to face the camera. "This segment is a new idea made by our director, in replacement for the failed experiment with the other segment last time (we've learned our lesson)." He then shifted a glance at the audience, the Killua banners proving that removing the For the Audience segment was a good idea. "Instead, we will have another special guest for tonight. He is said to be Mr. Killua's counterpart in Yu Yu Hakusho. Egotism over my anime home aside, YYH is Mr. Togashi's other famous work prior to Hunter X Hunter. We figured that it may rise a bit of interest to speak with the man himself. Let's bring in, Mr. Hiei Jaganshi!"

A round of applause sounded as a small, dark figure emerged from the shadows, revealing a young man in a black cloak, his spiky black hair graced with the well-known starburst in the middle. He wordlessly sat himself on the seat next to Killua, not even acknowledging the bright-as-usual smile of the host.

"Hello, Hiei. How are you?"

"Just get on with it, kitsune. I'm supposed to be sleeping," came the cold reply.

Kurama let out an uneasy laugh. "Okay," he said, knowing fully well how his friend values his sleep. Kurama turned to Killua. "Now, Killua, what do you think of him?"

Killua, who had been staring at Hiei ever since the guy stepped on the stage, blinked incredulously. "This guy's MY counterpart?" he asked, turning to Kurama.

Hiei stole a sidelong glance of the kid next to him. "Any problem with that, brat?" he asked.

"Well..." Killua scowled. After a few minutes of staring and contemplation, with an air of importance, he finally spoke again. "You're small," he said a-matter-of-factly.

"Uhm..." Kurama immediately tried to step in, but failed to do so. The glare Hiei was now sporting was too intense to break through. But still, maybe he should've warned Killua to watch his words. Hiei isn't fond of conversation. Neither does he like children. In fact, he doesn't really like people in general. But most especially, he isn't fond of. Insults. Regarding. His. Height.

"And your point is...?" ushered a now irritated Hiei, who was dangerously close to pulling out his katana. Either that, or he was in the midst of pulling away the bandage that was wrapped around his right arm.

But Killua ignored these 'signs of danger' and just turned to Kurama again. "Mind you, my height is completely normal. I'm even taller than Gon! Hell, I think I'm even taller than this midget!"

An eye twitched. "Midget? Mid-get!?" The chair beside Killua was violently pushed back. "Height is not everything, kid!" bellowed a gravely annoyed Hiei. "I get dragged in here by a bunch of foolish humans to be treated like this!? You dare insult me!? The right-hand man of one of the rare class-S youkai, the fear of Makai's many kingdoms, the wielder of the kokuryuuha!?"

Killed blinked innocently, albeit carelessly. "The who--?" he asked, further infuriating the man in front of him.

"I AM _THE_ HIEI OF MAKAI, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING WISE-ASS!"

Killua stuck his tongue out. "Your name stinks."

"Back at you!"

"Uh," Kurama scratched his head, and proceeded on watching his beautiful stage ransacked by two distinctly fast figures that can barely be seen by the naked eye. "Ne, blood pressures, you two. We wouldn't want our dear paramedics to be overworked now, would we?"

Seeing that he was deliberately being ignored, Kurama just shifted to more desperate measures. Facing the camera, he smiled good-naturedly and spoke with all the remaining charm he had. "Commercials?"

* * * * *

"I told you your brother was a brat. Now do you understand why I think Gon's a better target?"

Illumi--still (thankfully) ignorant of everything his brother had said--scowled, ignoring his friend while keeping himself from being more annoyed with the irritatingly cutesy commercial with the irritatingly cutesy bears with irritatingly cutesy chocolate sprinkles. He could feel his ears caving in on him due to the tremendously high pitch of the kiddy song. He could've sworn he heard the crystal glass on the cupboard crack.

"This sucks," he commented irately. He faced Hisoka, a frown still marring his face. "Can I have the remote now? My favorite episode of Tarzan's on!"

* * * * *

Kurama's face appeared immediately right after a few commercials. He was standing in the audience seats. Where the stage disappeared to was clearly unknown. Mysteries were so rampant in that night's episode.

"Er, that's it for tonight's episode, minna! It was fun in a way, wasn't it?" he asked, his cheeriness back in place despite the many questionable things that happened after the commercials. The sound of breaking wood went soon after Kurama's inquiry, only to be followed by an extremely loud crash. The host merely ignored this though. "I apologize for not having our two guests here with me to say goodbye. They are quite busy getting to know each other." Another crash.

"Aw, come on, you can do better than that!"

"You're a kid! Yusuke and Kurama will kill me if I do anything, you egotistical brat!"

"Hah! Kid, my foot! Admit it, that's all that you can do!"

"Why you--"

All of these were heard from behind the camera. Kurama though, still didn't seem to pay the voices any heed. "Thank you so much for being with us, I hope you all enjoyed tonight's show. For our next interview, we shall have Mr. Leorio, also a close friend of Mr. Gon and Mr. Killua. This is your ever devoted host, Kurama, wishing you all a warm goodnight!"

And with that, the scene began to fade, the show's theme song echoing in the background. A round of mechanical applause sounded, obviously ushered by the staff. They, too, seemed to be acting mechanically though. All eyes fixed on the stage. Kurama's the only one who seemed to be happy and at ease. Being Hiei's best friend was definitely a good thing sometimes.

The ending credits were beginning to end, but before that, a final voice rang through the whole studio.

"That's IT! Kid or no kid, I've had enough! JAOU ENSATSU KOKURYUUHA!!!"

End of Episode 2

A/N: Blah! That was insane. This is what happens when a fanfic is written without plans =P