Well, I think I'll alternate on updating my fanfictions... once every two weekends. Gah... I have no idea what anyone would think of this picture on my website. www.royaltwilight.com/kfanc I like how Cat (my character for my novel) came out, but my original Bakura was kinda sketchy. Anyway, I was hyper today, so I was looking at too many season two pictures of Bakura... it looks likea like a sailor outfit. And then I thought, 'Pirate!' so... I dressed him up in a pirate costume. Then I gave him Kaiba's kimo-ah... robe for being such a good sport and the millennium rod for a day. Then I blamed him when Kaiba asked where it was.

Oh, and picture this: Yami Bakura. Invader Zim. *goes away singing the Doom song* Oh, and I was busy today because I was scanning a lot of my drawings, so now there's a big frog on the front page of Royaltwilight. Mwahaha...

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...and then the cave did what it did best, cave in.

"Well," Ceryan said optimistically, "That is one way to do it."

"True," Kaiba agreed, "It's absolutely marvelous that we've escaped the evil chibified dragon of DOOM, only to suffocate in a cave probably full of flesh-eating crocodiles. Now, instead of having only one way to die, by decapitation, we can either choke to death or be slowly disemboweled. It's just lovely to have options, isn't it?"

"A grateful one, aren't you?" Bakura muttered. "Why don't you just-Oh, for Ra's sake, I can't see a thing-Ceryan, go light a match or something, will you?" Grumbling, Ceryan rummaged around for something to light.

"Well, you're the tomb robber. I'm sure you've gotten yourself into things like this hundreds of times. So, now what?"

Bakura opened his mouth, but nothing came out. "I should've just moved to Mesopotamia when I had the chance." he muttered. He grabbed two stones and a stick and tried to start a fire with them. "Well, this is prehistoric."

"You'd make a perfect caveman." Kaiba observed, leaning against the cave wall.

"You know, if you want to help, you could just take that rod and stuff it up your-" But he never got to finish his sentence because Kaiba whacked him on the head again with the millennium rod. "Fine." he muttered, swiping the stick against the rock. He started a tiny flame. "See? A light." he said proudly. The fire burned itself down the stick and burned his hand. "Or not," He dropped the stick immediately, blowing on his fingers.

"The Homo Habilis and Homo Erectus learned to harness fire." Kaiba mused. "And Homo Sapiens learned to create and use fire. I was going to call you a Neanderthal, but I'm afraid you don't fit any of those categories."

Before Bakura could say anything, Ceryan returned, cupping something in his hands proudly. "I found something." he said, restating the obvious.

Bakura looked to see what he was holding. "Um... okay. I suppose that would work."

Ceryan put what he was holding on the ground, and Bakura repeated his unsuccessful fire ritual, this time lighting whatever Ceryan had before letting go of the stick. The room was slightly illuminated.

"What did you do?" Kaiba asked curiously.

The two exchanged looks. "Match box, one gold coin." Ceryan began.

"Fishing bait, two." Bakura continued.

"Setting a worm on fire and watching it writhe and squirm until it finally disintegrates into dust," Ceryan started, then, in unison, "Priceless,"

"That's disgusting!" Kaiba groaned.

"But you do have to admit, it work-" But before Bakura could finish, the worm-light gave out. "Well, that was pointless."

"You're a bug sadist." someone said (it was difficult to tell who, since it was so dark.)

"Now that we're back to where we started," Kaiba leaned back against the wall. "We'd best-" He glared. "Bakura, it's not nice to point."

"Point? What are you-" He stared down at his millennium ring, which was faintly illuminating the room. One of its ends-or something, he didn't know exactly what it was-was pointing straight at Kaiba. "I swear this thing just cackled." As though through a millennium-ring style innocent-eyes, the end swivelled to point straight down. "These things are demented." he muttered.

But then they found out exactly what the ring was pointing to. As though in revenge for killing to worm, a huge bug burst out of the ground. A man-eater bug (TM). Except a man-eater bug would not really fit in the cave, hence, having Bakura on top really didn't help.

"What the hell is this thing?" he yelled, half-trying to hold on for dear life and half trying to get off.

"Ah..." Ceryan said, "Big!"

"I can see that! I was looking for something more along the lines of how to get down!"

"Oh, forget it," Kaiba muttered, pointing the millennium rod at the Duel Monster. The bug immediately stopped fidgeting and let Bakura down. "I don't want any 'You saved my life' speeches. I did that to shut you up, and if you start jabbering again I'll just have it eat you."

"I have no intention of giving one," Bakura muttered, brushing himself off.

"Good. Now, I'm going to instruct our insect friend to find us a way out of this place. If it wasn't for the fact that I needed someone to do my dirty work, you would've been dead already." And then, under his breath, "I hope that the Pharaoh is having as lovely a time as I'm having."

***********************Meanwhile*************************

"Baroten, have you seen Kaiba?" Yami asked. "I must've sent for him an hour ago."

Baroten looked up from a sheet or papyrus filled with blueprints. "No, but on the bright side, I haven't seen those two thieves. It's amazing how fast these things get done when there's no one to break it down."

"What?"

"I said the pyramid's going well." He then opened a local newsletter. "Ooh, 'The Trial of Romulus for the Brutal Murder of his Brother, Remus, Rages On.' 'Camel Caravans from Arabia Due to Arrive in Two Months.' That'd be good for the economy. 'Climate looking bad for Africa This Year, Again. Except Gray Skies and Crazy Showers Throughout Next Week.' Hey Yami, the wet season's coming early this year..."

"No, about the tomb robbers," He was ignored. "Wait? The Arabian caravans? Already?"

**************************...Back at the ranch*****************************

The wall of rocks came crashing down, and a man-eater bug and three others came through the opening. "This opens right into a temple," Kaiba declared, holding onto the man-eater's neck and looking back. "We should come out near the eastern edge of the Nile. Right where you were convicted for the first time, if I remember correctly."

"Good. Now just get us out of here." Bakura growled.

"Touchy."

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Ceryan yelled.

"I know this temple inside and out. I don't need your commentary to help-" Kaiba was right, though. The problem was that the bug didn't. And when he looked back, the man-eater bug was free to run wherever he wanted, like, into a wall, sending all four of them spinning in different directions.

"Oh sure, you really do know this place well," Bakura grumbled, looking for where the other two had landed. (He didn't really care about Ceryan.)

Kaiba struggled to stand up. "Yes, well-" But then the ground crumbled beneath him, activating the trap which he, ironically, had insted on putting there in the first place (it was the present day dark hole-an import from Greece. [c] 5210 BC Artemis Incorporated, all rights reserved). He grabbed onto the edge, barely able to not fall in. "Oh, Ra..." he breathed.

Bakura had the sudden urge to make a Scar from the Lion King speech. "This is convenient." he mused.

"Convenient? Help me here, already!"

He checked his nails. "No, I don't think I will. See, if I remember correctly, you were going to kill us when we got back as a sacrifice to the gods, whom I don't believe in anyway. I don't think Ceryan's getting up any time soon, and I was hoping to kill you as soon as we were out of here, but I think this is much easier, don't you?"

"You owe me for back there." Kaiba growled.

"Hmm, you're right. Now, the problem with the whole I-O-U deal is that, if I don't pay you back, you're not going to be able to do a thing about it. It just works out that way, you know?" And with a sadistic laugh, he took the man-eater bug and left.

************************************Meanwhile********************************

Rebecca had never been anyone special, in fact, her main job was to wash things in the Nile at the conspicuous time when our story is happening. She was very smart, and had her eye out for a certain priest (wouldn't ya know who). But, quite suddenly, a wall crashed down on her, and that was the end of our dear friend Rebecca.

"They out to consider these things for construction work," Bakura thought, steering his Duel Monster out along the vast river.

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Kinda sounds like it's coming to an end, don't it? *scratches head* Oh, and Kaiba didn't die.He got out eventually. :3 As for the man-eater bug, Kaiba released it from the millennium rod's control, so Bakura came back from a drink in the Nile to realize that it was gone. (D'oh!) Free, free to roam about forever in man-eater bug land and do things man-eater bugs...like...to...do... Um, right. Ceryan died of a concussion, but no one really cares about him. And there will be another chapter, and more after that. See the little thing up there? It says 'Act One.' Hint, hint. This chapter drove me up a wall... *whacks head against keyboard* Sorry it's so late! ...the 6th chapter of Yami Bakura Divided by confusion equals algebra will be up on time, though. ^^

Also, Ryou wasn't Yami Bakura's first reincarnation. Remember when he said to Pegasus that he had been playing for centuries? The time when he's tuck in the Ring doing nothing, he isn't playing the Shadow Games. *is having fun drawing Yami Bakura as a mediaeval madrigal* Hence, act two, and so on. If you want present day Yami B, that'd be the Algebra one. *cackles insanely*