Chapter 6
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with friends. I also don't own the song Angel, by Amanda Perez.
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. ill keep writing just for you :o)
Everyone was sitting quietly on the couches with their heads hung, looking at the red-carpeted floor. The noise of the bathroom door open made them all look up. Joey jumped to his feet and walked towards Phoebe and Rachel, who were still holding hands. Phoebe let go of Rachel and put her hands up to stop him from hugging her. He stepped back, feeling slightly rejected by her action
"Listen guys im ok, please don't make a big deal out of this. I just want to forget it now and I want you all to have a good day, without this hanging over my head." Everyone nodded without saying a word. If that's what their friend wanted then that's what they would do. Chandler broke the silence. "I think we should let Pheebs choose where we go first" he smiled. "Actually guys im feeling a bit tired, would you mind if I passed on going out today? I think I'd really rather just go lay down." Phoebe had a lot of things to think about, and a lot of decisions to make. She certainly didn't want to be putting on fake smiles all day. "Sure" "That's fine Pheebs" "Ok?" Her friends nodded, concern in all their eyes. They would have preferred her to be with them, so they could keep a watchful eye on her. But if this is what she wanted they weren't going to stand in her way. "I'll stay with you Phoebe" Joey moved closer to her. She put her hands out again to stop him. "No, please Joey, I want to be on my own." With that she turned and headed back to the elevator. No apologies or explanations.
Joey wanted to cry but he knew he couldn't. For one it wasn't the manly thing to do, and secondly he didn't want his friends figuring out his feelings for Phoebe, or more importantly what had gone on between them last night. He couldn't help but think about how things had changed with her since she had woken up this morning. Lat night she had been all smiles, begging him to hold her, touch her, and make love to her. Now she was as cold as ice. Had she used him?
He sat back down on the chair a look of despair on his face. Rachel sat immediately beside him. "Honey, don't be upset. She doesn't mean to reject you; it's just her way of dealing with things. Im sure she will be much better when she's had time to run things through her head." Joey bobbed his head up and down, wanting to believe what Rachel had just said. But even Rachel didn't believe it. The truth was she was absolutely petrified for her friends' welfare. After hearing everything Phoebe had to say only minutes before she was terrified she was going to do something stupid. She also knew Phoebe had held back a lot of the story she had told, leaving out the worst parts. The parts she had spoke of were horrific enough, God only knows what she's keeping into herself Rachel thought, her stomach turning.
"Come on guys, let's go. We're not doing Phoebe any good sitting her moping" Ross tried to sound as compassionate as he could. Everyone walked towards the glass doors of the hotels entrance, departing silently.
~*~
Phoebe managed to get to her room and close the door before her crying started. This wasn't how she had planned to spend her trip. It also wasn't how she planned to live her life. All those memories had never really left her, but she had almost dealt with them. Now she was back at square one and she was unsure she could cope all over again.
The last time I ran away, and that's what I have to do again she told herself. I can't put my best friends through the pain of watching me cope. I just can't do it. She raced over to her wardrobe and began to pack as quickly as she could. She didn't know if her friends had left, or when the planned to be back if they had. "I have to be long gone before they notice."
Once she was packed and ready to go she sat at the table and began to write the notes she had been going over in her mind. She wouldn't just leave without an explanation; she owed her friends that at least.
30 minutes later Phoebe stood on the pavement outside the hotel, watching the cabbie load her cases into the taxi. This was it, she was really moving on. "No turning back now," she told herself sadly as she closed the door over and watched the hotel disappear into the distance, tears cascading down her pale cheeks.
~*~
"Listen guys, I don't know about you, but im just not having fun here. I can't get Phoebe out of my mind. Im really worried about her on her own. We should never have left." Rachel stared at her friends nodding around her. Joey had been feeling the same way, but hadn't wanted to spoil things for everyone by leaving. "Lets get back to the hotel," agreed Monica "We can finish the tour of the Tower of London tomorrow, hopefully with Phoebe here too." Chandler tried to throw in an optimistic statement but it fell on deaf ears.
~*~
"I'll get the keys for the rooms. Joey, why don't you and the others head into the lounge and order some drinks. Ill go up and get Phoebe and bring her down. Maybe we can try and cheer her up a bit?"
"Sure Mon," Joey hadn't really been listening to her, but agreed to whatever she said anyway. He followed the others to the bar, while Monica headed to reception.
Monica was just about the rhythm off the room numbers when the man behind the desk interrupted her. "Are you with the Gellar party Ma'am?" Monica looked startled but tried to remain calm. "Yes, I'm Monica Gellar. Why what's happened?" Phoebe didn't even cross her mind. She thought something terrible had happened back home.
"There was mail left here for you and your friends," He said, turning to the wall behind him and grabbing 5 identical envelopes. "Who from, do you know?" Monica queried, wondering who could have left letters for everyone.
"The lady in room 215, Ma'am." Monica thought for a moment. "Lady in 215? Oh my God" she said out loud. "Phoebe!"
She grabbed the letters from him and ran to the lounge.
"I think something's happened to Phoebe!" she screamed. Everyone turned to stare at her. "What" was the only word she could hear come from everybody's mouth.
"She left us notes" Monica started handing them out, reading, which one was for who.
Everyone tore open the white envelopes as quick as they could, reading furiously, Trying to fathom what had happened. Everyone dropped their notes to the table in front of them, still trying to digest what they had just read. Joey was still reading, tears pouring from him like a mini waterfall.
Dearest Joey,
If you are reading this letter then it means I have decided to leave. This wasn't at all what I wanted, but I know it's for the best. My pain is contagious and I know you are all going to catch it. That's why I have to go now. I can't cause you any more hurt than I already have. When you told me last night that you loved me I didn't know what to think. I desperately wanted to believe you. I needed to believe you. No one has every told me they loved me, not even my Mom. I now know that you meant what you said. But I also know that if I had to tell you about my past you would change your mind. Me not being around means you will never know and I will never have to lie to you. Before I finish this letter I have to tell you one thing though, that up until now I haven't been able to say. I love you Joseph Tribbiani.
You will always and forever be in my heart, until the day I die. Please never forget me.
Your best friend for eternity.
Phoebe X
Joey fought back from screaming as he finished the letter. He was aware of everyone's eyes on him, but couldn't bring himself to speak. In the background he could hear a song playing, and its words broke his heart. Phoebe was gone and she was never coming back.
Angel:
It's been 5 months since you went away, Left without a word, Nothing to say, When I was the one, Who gave you my heart and soul, But it wasn't good enough for you, no So I ask God, God send me an angel, From the heavens above Send me an angel to heal my broken heart, From being in love. Cause all I do is cry God send me an angel, To wipe the tears from my eyes.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with friends. I also don't own the song Angel, by Amanda Perez.
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. ill keep writing just for you :o)
Everyone was sitting quietly on the couches with their heads hung, looking at the red-carpeted floor. The noise of the bathroom door open made them all look up. Joey jumped to his feet and walked towards Phoebe and Rachel, who were still holding hands. Phoebe let go of Rachel and put her hands up to stop him from hugging her. He stepped back, feeling slightly rejected by her action
"Listen guys im ok, please don't make a big deal out of this. I just want to forget it now and I want you all to have a good day, without this hanging over my head." Everyone nodded without saying a word. If that's what their friend wanted then that's what they would do. Chandler broke the silence. "I think we should let Pheebs choose where we go first" he smiled. "Actually guys im feeling a bit tired, would you mind if I passed on going out today? I think I'd really rather just go lay down." Phoebe had a lot of things to think about, and a lot of decisions to make. She certainly didn't want to be putting on fake smiles all day. "Sure" "That's fine Pheebs" "Ok?" Her friends nodded, concern in all their eyes. They would have preferred her to be with them, so they could keep a watchful eye on her. But if this is what she wanted they weren't going to stand in her way. "I'll stay with you Phoebe" Joey moved closer to her. She put her hands out again to stop him. "No, please Joey, I want to be on my own." With that she turned and headed back to the elevator. No apologies or explanations.
Joey wanted to cry but he knew he couldn't. For one it wasn't the manly thing to do, and secondly he didn't want his friends figuring out his feelings for Phoebe, or more importantly what had gone on between them last night. He couldn't help but think about how things had changed with her since she had woken up this morning. Lat night she had been all smiles, begging him to hold her, touch her, and make love to her. Now she was as cold as ice. Had she used him?
He sat back down on the chair a look of despair on his face. Rachel sat immediately beside him. "Honey, don't be upset. She doesn't mean to reject you; it's just her way of dealing with things. Im sure she will be much better when she's had time to run things through her head." Joey bobbed his head up and down, wanting to believe what Rachel had just said. But even Rachel didn't believe it. The truth was she was absolutely petrified for her friends' welfare. After hearing everything Phoebe had to say only minutes before she was terrified she was going to do something stupid. She also knew Phoebe had held back a lot of the story she had told, leaving out the worst parts. The parts she had spoke of were horrific enough, God only knows what she's keeping into herself Rachel thought, her stomach turning.
"Come on guys, let's go. We're not doing Phoebe any good sitting her moping" Ross tried to sound as compassionate as he could. Everyone walked towards the glass doors of the hotels entrance, departing silently.
~*~
Phoebe managed to get to her room and close the door before her crying started. This wasn't how she had planned to spend her trip. It also wasn't how she planned to live her life. All those memories had never really left her, but she had almost dealt with them. Now she was back at square one and she was unsure she could cope all over again.
The last time I ran away, and that's what I have to do again she told herself. I can't put my best friends through the pain of watching me cope. I just can't do it. She raced over to her wardrobe and began to pack as quickly as she could. She didn't know if her friends had left, or when the planned to be back if they had. "I have to be long gone before they notice."
Once she was packed and ready to go she sat at the table and began to write the notes she had been going over in her mind. She wouldn't just leave without an explanation; she owed her friends that at least.
30 minutes later Phoebe stood on the pavement outside the hotel, watching the cabbie load her cases into the taxi. This was it, she was really moving on. "No turning back now," she told herself sadly as she closed the door over and watched the hotel disappear into the distance, tears cascading down her pale cheeks.
~*~
"Listen guys, I don't know about you, but im just not having fun here. I can't get Phoebe out of my mind. Im really worried about her on her own. We should never have left." Rachel stared at her friends nodding around her. Joey had been feeling the same way, but hadn't wanted to spoil things for everyone by leaving. "Lets get back to the hotel," agreed Monica "We can finish the tour of the Tower of London tomorrow, hopefully with Phoebe here too." Chandler tried to throw in an optimistic statement but it fell on deaf ears.
~*~
"I'll get the keys for the rooms. Joey, why don't you and the others head into the lounge and order some drinks. Ill go up and get Phoebe and bring her down. Maybe we can try and cheer her up a bit?"
"Sure Mon," Joey hadn't really been listening to her, but agreed to whatever she said anyway. He followed the others to the bar, while Monica headed to reception.
Monica was just about the rhythm off the room numbers when the man behind the desk interrupted her. "Are you with the Gellar party Ma'am?" Monica looked startled but tried to remain calm. "Yes, I'm Monica Gellar. Why what's happened?" Phoebe didn't even cross her mind. She thought something terrible had happened back home.
"There was mail left here for you and your friends," He said, turning to the wall behind him and grabbing 5 identical envelopes. "Who from, do you know?" Monica queried, wondering who could have left letters for everyone.
"The lady in room 215, Ma'am." Monica thought for a moment. "Lady in 215? Oh my God" she said out loud. "Phoebe!"
She grabbed the letters from him and ran to the lounge.
"I think something's happened to Phoebe!" she screamed. Everyone turned to stare at her. "What" was the only word she could hear come from everybody's mouth.
"She left us notes" Monica started handing them out, reading, which one was for who.
Everyone tore open the white envelopes as quick as they could, reading furiously, Trying to fathom what had happened. Everyone dropped their notes to the table in front of them, still trying to digest what they had just read. Joey was still reading, tears pouring from him like a mini waterfall.
Dearest Joey,
If you are reading this letter then it means I have decided to leave. This wasn't at all what I wanted, but I know it's for the best. My pain is contagious and I know you are all going to catch it. That's why I have to go now. I can't cause you any more hurt than I already have. When you told me last night that you loved me I didn't know what to think. I desperately wanted to believe you. I needed to believe you. No one has every told me they loved me, not even my Mom. I now know that you meant what you said. But I also know that if I had to tell you about my past you would change your mind. Me not being around means you will never know and I will never have to lie to you. Before I finish this letter I have to tell you one thing though, that up until now I haven't been able to say. I love you Joseph Tribbiani.
You will always and forever be in my heart, until the day I die. Please never forget me.
Your best friend for eternity.
Phoebe X
Joey fought back from screaming as he finished the letter. He was aware of everyone's eyes on him, but couldn't bring himself to speak. In the background he could hear a song playing, and its words broke his heart. Phoebe was gone and she was never coming back.
Angel:
It's been 5 months since you went away, Left without a word, Nothing to say, When I was the one, Who gave you my heart and soul, But it wasn't good enough for you, no So I ask God, God send me an angel, From the heavens above Send me an angel to heal my broken heart, From being in love. Cause all I do is cry God send me an angel, To wipe the tears from my eyes.
