Chapter 8
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Friends, or the song Remember me this way By Jordan Hill.
~*~
Monica paced back and forth on the concrete floor. Their bus had driven into the station 15 minutes ago and there was still no sign of the guys. They had only 5 minutes before departure and the chances of them being back on time were extremely slim. "Mon honey sit down, your wearing down the concrete" Rachel tried to laugh but she knew how serious the situation was. Monica turned to her friend. "If they aren't here on time we're going without them. They can get their own tickets for a later bus." "But Monica they have all our stuff. If we leave alone they are never going to find where we are. We can't have us all separated! Ross has all the plane tickets after all." "Damn, your right. Where the hell are they!" She reached into her purse and grabbed her cell phone, pressing the buttons furiously, trying to locate Joey's number. She held the phone to her ear and listened while it rang. After a few rings Joey answered. "Where are you? Are you near the station yet? Monica blasted causing Rachel to flinch. "The cabbie says we're only round the corner, but we're stuck in traffic. I promise we will be there as soon as we can. Try your best to stall the driver. See you soon." And at that he hung up. "Are they near? Rachel questioned. "Apparently, but we are going to have to get the driver to wait." With that a whistle sounded and everyone sitting at the terminal began to stand and walk towards the bus. Rachel and Monica joined the back of the line, hoping it would take a while for everyone to load their bags into the coach.
As time passed the line got less and less, leaving Rachel and Monica standing alone. The driver removed his head from the baggage hold and looked at the girls. "No bags?" he questioned "Um, well the thing is we are waiting on out friends to get here, they shouldn't be long I promise." The driver looked at them in silence for a moment. "I understand girls, but I have a schedule to stick to. They have two minutes to get here then I have to leave. Sorry" He turned and walked onto the bus, taking a seat at the wheel. Both Monica and Rachel looked panic stricken. Just as they were about to lose hope they heard a mans voice call out behind them. "Have we missed it?" Ross ran towards them out of breath. "No, were ok we have time." Monica ran towards her brother, relieving him of the bags as he tried to catch his breath. "Where are Joey and Chandler?" Ross panted for a few seconds, his lungs trying to recover. Before he had a chance to answer Monica spotted the two run in her direction. "Oh thank God!" she sighed. They were there on time. All they had to do now was get to Glasgow and find Phoebe. It sounded a lot easier than it was going to be. No one knew what lay ahead, but they did know it was most definitely going to be one of the hardest things they would ever have to deal with.
~*~
The bus reversed out of the terminal as the gang took their seats. Ross held onto the railing above him, allowing Chandler to slide into the window seat. Once Chandler was seated Ross sat down next to him. He turned to look at the seats behind him to Monica and Rachel. "You both ok?" Rachel shrugged. She was happy everything was now running smoothly, but she couldn't get the image of phoebe from her head. She would be all- alone, thinking no one cared about her. When in actual fact everyone was distraught. Ross seeing his friend upset stuck his hand through the gap in the seats and grabbed her hand, squeezing it as tightly as he could. "Mon, could I swap seats with you for a moment? Ross looked at his sister, pleading in his eyes. "Sure Hon," both stood up, banging into one another as the tried to keep their balance. The bus jerked forward and Monica went with it, desperately trying to grab onto anything she could find. Ross reached out for her, but it was too late. She was already on top of Chandler. "Women usually ask me before doing that" he joked, trying hard to make light of the situation. He could see she was still embarrassed though. He watched her as she tried to regain a sitting position, on her side of the seat. Her make up was half off; her hair was a mess, her clothes dishevelled and her eyes tired. But he couldn't help but noticed how her natural beauty shone through it all. She turned to him and noticed his staring. "What?" she asked coldly. "Trying to think of sarcastic comments?" She didn't even wait for his answer before turning away from him and shutting her eyes. Chandler didn't take his eyes off her, he wanted to but he was drawn to her in a way he couldn't understand. That was the hundredth time since arriving in Britain that Monica had snapped at him in such a way. He knew that she was upset at his joking just now. He knew he should be crying like the rest over Phoebe, but this was his coping mechanism. Didn't she know him well enough by now to realise this? "No, cant get upset!" he fought with himself, but it was too late. A small tear fell down his face. "Monica?" he called her name quietly in case she had fallen asleep. "Monica?" he called out louder this time and placed his hand on her back? She spun round quickly. "What is it Chandler? Thought of a good one? Well you can just keep it too yourself as im in no mood for your humour!" The look on his face spoke a thousand words. He was taken aback by Monica's temper towards him, when all he wanted was a hug. "Sorry, I didn't mean any offence, I just wanted to. You know what, it doesn't matter." He turned away from her and stared out of the glass window, watching the traffic fly by.
"Chandler im sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you!" Her tone had now changed and her eyes were full of sorrow. Chandler turned back round to look at her, his eyes watering gently. Monica seeing him gasped. "Oh my God Chandler, I didn't mean to make you cry" her guilt was mounting, but he shook his head. "Its not you Mon, its this whole Phoebe fiasco" she nodded, knowing exactly how he was feeling. "I've been acting like a heartless jerk all day" he commented, trying to rectify the situation. "No you haven't, we all know it's your way of coping sweetie." Monica reached out her hand and rubbed his arm softly then gave it a little squeeze. Chandler couldn't help but smile, Monica understood him after all.
~*~
Ross sat next to Rachel in silence. Neither knew what to talk about. Ross didn't want to mention Phoebe in case it upset Rachel, and Rachel didn't want to mention in because it was too painful to talk about. Just having Ross next to her was comfort enough. She knew they had had their ups and downs, highs and lows, but at the end of the day he was the one how always stood by her no matter what. Her love for him was just as strong as it had always been, but to drag up the past would cause too many problems, so he would have to remain Ross the friend, not Ross the boyfriend. She took a deep breath. "You ok sweetie?" Ross asked with concern in his voice. "Yeah, I was just thinking of the past and how good things used to be." There was along pause. "Ross, did Phoebe ever mention anything to you about being depressed? "Never, she was always so happy and quirky around me. Today was the first time I've ever seen her down." The memory saddened him. "I'm still so surprised she's taken the attack so badly. I half expected her to come up with a positive side to it all. "You would think," Rachel replied glumly. "So what made her do this? Didn't she give you any indication she was going to pull a stunt like this when you spoke to her?
Rachel turned to him, her eyes ablaze with anger. "First off all Ross she did not "Pull a stunt" and secondly, no she didn't say anything to me about running away. You really think I would have left her alone if she had? Rachel was getting more and more irate by the minute. Ross had clearly taken offence to Rachel's outburst. "Well Rach, you can be pretty selfish at times. I wouldn't be surprised if you were the one who told her to "Go and clear her head"!" "What did you just say to me!" "You heard! You did the same thing with me. Pushed me away. One minute you wanted me, the next I was history!" "Oh my God Ross, how is that even related to Phoebe! I can't believe you are turning the argument around to yourself. Contrary to popular belief the world doesn't revolve around planet Ross. This is about Phoebe and getting her safely, not you and me. For Christ sake get over it already. You cheated, end of Goddamn story!" Rachel was screaming so loud the whole bus could hear the conversation. Before Ross could answer Rachel restarted her tirade. "And don't you dare say we were on a break, the way I'm feeling right now im libel to punch you!" Ross stood up and walked towards Joey, who was 2 seats in front. "Did you just hear that?" "Sure" Joey's answer lacked enthusiasm "You in the mood for talking?" "Sure" "Joey?" There was no answer. "Joey, talk to me!" "Ross, I don't want to seem rude, but I really don't want to be talking right now" "Pretty bad huh?" Ross patted his friend on the shoulder. "Pretty bad? Ross I'm fucking devastated! When are you going to wake up and take this situation seriously? Phoebe could be anywhere, doing anything to herself and you're up back fighting with Rachel because she won't take you back! You know what, I think she's completely right! I wouldn't have you back, not when your acting like a heartless jackass!" Ross was Gob smacked. He had never seen Joey or Rachel act they way they had towards him. "Am I really heartless" he wondered. "No!" he shook his head. "Joey man im sorry, but im not being heartless. I'm just trying to stay strong for everyone! I'm worried too, but im not going to spend the next 5 hours on this bus fretting. Its not going to Phoebe any good is it!" Joey understood what Ross was saying, but he wasn't going to apologise. He didn't have the energy. "Go and tell Rachel your sorry, you and her fighting isn't going to Pheebs any good either!" "But," "Ross no buts, for once do the right thing where Rachel is concerned" With that he shut his eyes. He was asleep within seconds. Ross remained seated for a second thinking over what Joey had said "Joeys right. I have to make it up to her, I love her too much to have her hate me" He got up from his seat and made his way back to Rachel. As he got to her he could see her curled into a little ball along the two seats, sobbing quietly. "Rachel? God im sorry, I was an asshole, please don't cry, I feel bad enough!" he knelt down in the aisle and stroked her hair softly. "I just called Phoebe's house phone. I wanted to hear her voice on her answering machine. Her voice was so upbeat and happy Ross! She said she was sorry she wasn't there to talk, because she was away to London with her five best friends to party. She sounded so excited. Why Ross, why?" "Shh," Ross kept repeating that and stroking her hair until she feels asleep. Once he knew she wasn't going to wake up he stood and reached over Rachel to grab her personal CD player. It was going to be a long night; he needed something to take his mind off it all and music was just the thing to do it.
He took an empty seat across the aisle from Rachel and put the earphones in place. He switched on the cd and got himself comfortable. The song playing did anything but take his mind off Phoebe. It just made him realise something she should have realised a long time ago. He loved Phoebe and he was Just shutting everything out. He felt his heart break in two as he continued to listen to the song.
Every now and then, we find a special friend,
Who never lets us down.
Who understands it all,
Reaches out each time we fall,
You're the best friend that I've found.
I know that you can't stay,
But part of you will never ever go away,
Your heart will stay.
I'll make a wish for you,
And hope it will come true,
That life will just be kind,
To such a gentle mind,
If you lose your way,
Think back on yesterday,
Remember me this way.
He looked over at a sleeping Rachel and then at Chandler and Monica who were also asleep, then down to Joey. His friends meant the world to him, more than he would ever be able to express. "I have to tell Rachel how I feel, life's too short. I would die if I lost her like I've lost Phoebe" He thought. "Tomorrow, no matter what!"
~*~
Had a serious case of writers block today. I've been battling through this bit to get to the next chapters, which are better, I promise :o) Keep reviewing, I love hearing from you. xxxx
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Friends, or the song Remember me this way By Jordan Hill.
~*~
Monica paced back and forth on the concrete floor. Their bus had driven into the station 15 minutes ago and there was still no sign of the guys. They had only 5 minutes before departure and the chances of them being back on time were extremely slim. "Mon honey sit down, your wearing down the concrete" Rachel tried to laugh but she knew how serious the situation was. Monica turned to her friend. "If they aren't here on time we're going without them. They can get their own tickets for a later bus." "But Monica they have all our stuff. If we leave alone they are never going to find where we are. We can't have us all separated! Ross has all the plane tickets after all." "Damn, your right. Where the hell are they!" She reached into her purse and grabbed her cell phone, pressing the buttons furiously, trying to locate Joey's number. She held the phone to her ear and listened while it rang. After a few rings Joey answered. "Where are you? Are you near the station yet? Monica blasted causing Rachel to flinch. "The cabbie says we're only round the corner, but we're stuck in traffic. I promise we will be there as soon as we can. Try your best to stall the driver. See you soon." And at that he hung up. "Are they near? Rachel questioned. "Apparently, but we are going to have to get the driver to wait." With that a whistle sounded and everyone sitting at the terminal began to stand and walk towards the bus. Rachel and Monica joined the back of the line, hoping it would take a while for everyone to load their bags into the coach.
As time passed the line got less and less, leaving Rachel and Monica standing alone. The driver removed his head from the baggage hold and looked at the girls. "No bags?" he questioned "Um, well the thing is we are waiting on out friends to get here, they shouldn't be long I promise." The driver looked at them in silence for a moment. "I understand girls, but I have a schedule to stick to. They have two minutes to get here then I have to leave. Sorry" He turned and walked onto the bus, taking a seat at the wheel. Both Monica and Rachel looked panic stricken. Just as they were about to lose hope they heard a mans voice call out behind them. "Have we missed it?" Ross ran towards them out of breath. "No, were ok we have time." Monica ran towards her brother, relieving him of the bags as he tried to catch his breath. "Where are Joey and Chandler?" Ross panted for a few seconds, his lungs trying to recover. Before he had a chance to answer Monica spotted the two run in her direction. "Oh thank God!" she sighed. They were there on time. All they had to do now was get to Glasgow and find Phoebe. It sounded a lot easier than it was going to be. No one knew what lay ahead, but they did know it was most definitely going to be one of the hardest things they would ever have to deal with.
~*~
The bus reversed out of the terminal as the gang took their seats. Ross held onto the railing above him, allowing Chandler to slide into the window seat. Once Chandler was seated Ross sat down next to him. He turned to look at the seats behind him to Monica and Rachel. "You both ok?" Rachel shrugged. She was happy everything was now running smoothly, but she couldn't get the image of phoebe from her head. She would be all- alone, thinking no one cared about her. When in actual fact everyone was distraught. Ross seeing his friend upset stuck his hand through the gap in the seats and grabbed her hand, squeezing it as tightly as he could. "Mon, could I swap seats with you for a moment? Ross looked at his sister, pleading in his eyes. "Sure Hon," both stood up, banging into one another as the tried to keep their balance. The bus jerked forward and Monica went with it, desperately trying to grab onto anything she could find. Ross reached out for her, but it was too late. She was already on top of Chandler. "Women usually ask me before doing that" he joked, trying hard to make light of the situation. He could see she was still embarrassed though. He watched her as she tried to regain a sitting position, on her side of the seat. Her make up was half off; her hair was a mess, her clothes dishevelled and her eyes tired. But he couldn't help but noticed how her natural beauty shone through it all. She turned to him and noticed his staring. "What?" she asked coldly. "Trying to think of sarcastic comments?" She didn't even wait for his answer before turning away from him and shutting her eyes. Chandler didn't take his eyes off her, he wanted to but he was drawn to her in a way he couldn't understand. That was the hundredth time since arriving in Britain that Monica had snapped at him in such a way. He knew that she was upset at his joking just now. He knew he should be crying like the rest over Phoebe, but this was his coping mechanism. Didn't she know him well enough by now to realise this? "No, cant get upset!" he fought with himself, but it was too late. A small tear fell down his face. "Monica?" he called her name quietly in case she had fallen asleep. "Monica?" he called out louder this time and placed his hand on her back? She spun round quickly. "What is it Chandler? Thought of a good one? Well you can just keep it too yourself as im in no mood for your humour!" The look on his face spoke a thousand words. He was taken aback by Monica's temper towards him, when all he wanted was a hug. "Sorry, I didn't mean any offence, I just wanted to. You know what, it doesn't matter." He turned away from her and stared out of the glass window, watching the traffic fly by.
"Chandler im sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you!" Her tone had now changed and her eyes were full of sorrow. Chandler turned back round to look at her, his eyes watering gently. Monica seeing him gasped. "Oh my God Chandler, I didn't mean to make you cry" her guilt was mounting, but he shook his head. "Its not you Mon, its this whole Phoebe fiasco" she nodded, knowing exactly how he was feeling. "I've been acting like a heartless jerk all day" he commented, trying to rectify the situation. "No you haven't, we all know it's your way of coping sweetie." Monica reached out her hand and rubbed his arm softly then gave it a little squeeze. Chandler couldn't help but smile, Monica understood him after all.
~*~
Ross sat next to Rachel in silence. Neither knew what to talk about. Ross didn't want to mention Phoebe in case it upset Rachel, and Rachel didn't want to mention in because it was too painful to talk about. Just having Ross next to her was comfort enough. She knew they had had their ups and downs, highs and lows, but at the end of the day he was the one how always stood by her no matter what. Her love for him was just as strong as it had always been, but to drag up the past would cause too many problems, so he would have to remain Ross the friend, not Ross the boyfriend. She took a deep breath. "You ok sweetie?" Ross asked with concern in his voice. "Yeah, I was just thinking of the past and how good things used to be." There was along pause. "Ross, did Phoebe ever mention anything to you about being depressed? "Never, she was always so happy and quirky around me. Today was the first time I've ever seen her down." The memory saddened him. "I'm still so surprised she's taken the attack so badly. I half expected her to come up with a positive side to it all. "You would think," Rachel replied glumly. "So what made her do this? Didn't she give you any indication she was going to pull a stunt like this when you spoke to her?
Rachel turned to him, her eyes ablaze with anger. "First off all Ross she did not "Pull a stunt" and secondly, no she didn't say anything to me about running away. You really think I would have left her alone if she had? Rachel was getting more and more irate by the minute. Ross had clearly taken offence to Rachel's outburst. "Well Rach, you can be pretty selfish at times. I wouldn't be surprised if you were the one who told her to "Go and clear her head"!" "What did you just say to me!" "You heard! You did the same thing with me. Pushed me away. One minute you wanted me, the next I was history!" "Oh my God Ross, how is that even related to Phoebe! I can't believe you are turning the argument around to yourself. Contrary to popular belief the world doesn't revolve around planet Ross. This is about Phoebe and getting her safely, not you and me. For Christ sake get over it already. You cheated, end of Goddamn story!" Rachel was screaming so loud the whole bus could hear the conversation. Before Ross could answer Rachel restarted her tirade. "And don't you dare say we were on a break, the way I'm feeling right now im libel to punch you!" Ross stood up and walked towards Joey, who was 2 seats in front. "Did you just hear that?" "Sure" Joey's answer lacked enthusiasm "You in the mood for talking?" "Sure" "Joey?" There was no answer. "Joey, talk to me!" "Ross, I don't want to seem rude, but I really don't want to be talking right now" "Pretty bad huh?" Ross patted his friend on the shoulder. "Pretty bad? Ross I'm fucking devastated! When are you going to wake up and take this situation seriously? Phoebe could be anywhere, doing anything to herself and you're up back fighting with Rachel because she won't take you back! You know what, I think she's completely right! I wouldn't have you back, not when your acting like a heartless jackass!" Ross was Gob smacked. He had never seen Joey or Rachel act they way they had towards him. "Am I really heartless" he wondered. "No!" he shook his head. "Joey man im sorry, but im not being heartless. I'm just trying to stay strong for everyone! I'm worried too, but im not going to spend the next 5 hours on this bus fretting. Its not going to Phoebe any good is it!" Joey understood what Ross was saying, but he wasn't going to apologise. He didn't have the energy. "Go and tell Rachel your sorry, you and her fighting isn't going to Pheebs any good either!" "But," "Ross no buts, for once do the right thing where Rachel is concerned" With that he shut his eyes. He was asleep within seconds. Ross remained seated for a second thinking over what Joey had said "Joeys right. I have to make it up to her, I love her too much to have her hate me" He got up from his seat and made his way back to Rachel. As he got to her he could see her curled into a little ball along the two seats, sobbing quietly. "Rachel? God im sorry, I was an asshole, please don't cry, I feel bad enough!" he knelt down in the aisle and stroked her hair softly. "I just called Phoebe's house phone. I wanted to hear her voice on her answering machine. Her voice was so upbeat and happy Ross! She said she was sorry she wasn't there to talk, because she was away to London with her five best friends to party. She sounded so excited. Why Ross, why?" "Shh," Ross kept repeating that and stroking her hair until she feels asleep. Once he knew she wasn't going to wake up he stood and reached over Rachel to grab her personal CD player. It was going to be a long night; he needed something to take his mind off it all and music was just the thing to do it.
He took an empty seat across the aisle from Rachel and put the earphones in place. He switched on the cd and got himself comfortable. The song playing did anything but take his mind off Phoebe. It just made him realise something she should have realised a long time ago. He loved Phoebe and he was Just shutting everything out. He felt his heart break in two as he continued to listen to the song.
Every now and then, we find a special friend,
Who never lets us down.
Who understands it all,
Reaches out each time we fall,
You're the best friend that I've found.
I know that you can't stay,
But part of you will never ever go away,
Your heart will stay.
I'll make a wish for you,
And hope it will come true,
That life will just be kind,
To such a gentle mind,
If you lose your way,
Think back on yesterday,
Remember me this way.
He looked over at a sleeping Rachel and then at Chandler and Monica who were also asleep, then down to Joey. His friends meant the world to him, more than he would ever be able to express. "I have to tell Rachel how I feel, life's too short. I would die if I lost her like I've lost Phoebe" He thought. "Tomorrow, no matter what!"
~*~
Had a serious case of writers block today. I've been battling through this bit to get to the next chapters, which are better, I promise :o) Keep reviewing, I love hearing from you. xxxx
