Chapter 26.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything to do with friends.

Im so sorry guys for the time its taken me to update, but ive been on holiday in London. I went down to see Matthew Perry in his new play, which by the way is fab!!! And I got a hug from the man himself wohooooo lol

~*~

Joey swayed back and forward as he sat on a swing in the hospitals playground. The sun beat down on his head, but the soft breeze blowing in the air kept him at a comfortable temperature. His eyes where fixated on a small sandpit directly in front of him. He imagined him and his daughter rolling around in it, building sandcastles while an adoring Phoebe sat on a bench and watched them, lovingly.

This is what he always wanted, the way he had dreamed it so long ago, but now he had it he didn't know what do to with it. How was he supposed to feel? He was supposed to be jumping for joy. The person he loved was getting better, he had a daughter to love, a happy family life to start, but he couldn't help feeling sadder than he had ever felt.

He had messed up big time, and he didn't know how to resolve it all. He felt guilt at having slept with Ursula, doubt at his love for Phoebe, he couldn't feel that strongly for her if he was able to have sex with another woman, confusion over his baby and most of all depression and hate for himself.

He kicked the ground underneath him as hard as he could and was about to get up from the swing when he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey Joe. What you doing?" Chandler walked in Joey's direction and sat on the swing next to him, giving himself a push as he did so.

"Just gathering my thoughts. Did they send you to look for me?"

"No, I had to get away for a bit. Clear my head." Chandler looked sadly at his friend.

"I know how you feel. This whole situation is driving me crazy again. I don't think I can cope Chandler. Im scared I break down again, what if I try something stupid again, like before?"

"Hey, stop talking like that ok? You're going to be fine. You know why?" Joey shook his head.

"Because you have me to look after you. Im not going to let anything happen to you, or anyone else for that matter. Joey, things are going to get better. I know in my heart they are. Look how you were before Phoebe came back. You didn't think she ever would, and she did. You have to think positive buddy."

Joey remained silent.

"You love her don't you?" Chandler question surprised him.

"What?" Joey looked up from the ground for the first time since Chandler had approached him.

"Phoebe. You love her. You don't have to explain, I've known all along. I recognised your behaviour. You acted the same way around her as I did with Monica."

"You love Mon?" Joey was slightly shocked.

"Always have, since the first moment I set eyes on her, I knew she was the perfect woman for me. I just wish she felt the same. She sees me as a friend and nothing more. I keep blowing my chances with her, me and my big mouth, always spoiling it!"

Joey reached over and patted his best friend on the back.

"Give it time. She will see what a good guy you are know how stupid she's been to ignore you as more than a friend. Trust me!" Joey flashed him a huge smile and both burst into laughter.

"Look at the two of us! Losing it over women!" Chandler continued to laugh.

Joey stopped smiling. "Yeah, but they are two very special women" He felt the sadness return.

Chandler nodded in agreement as his laughter subsided.

The awkward silence took over, until Chandler spotted another recognisable person approaching them.

"Ross?" Both Chandler and Joey looked surprised to see him.

"Hey guys." Ross' tone was sullen as he took a seat on the bench, letting his head fall south.

"What happened to you? Woman troubles?" Chandler was only half joking.

"That's an understatement!" Ross snorted.

"Why. Have you and Rachel had a fight?" Chandler lifted himself from the cold, rusted swing and sat down next to Ross.

"No, everything's great, well they were great. I try and I try but no matter what I do she never seems interested. She always keeps this damn distance between us! She won't talk to me about her feelings, and every time I try to get close she backs off. Am I doing something wrong? Do you think she's found someone else?" Ross could feel his voice breaking up as the realisation of Rachel's fidelity hit him.

"No! Listen. You have been back together for what? 2 Months? If that! She's just taking things slowly. You've hurt each other so badly in the past, and she knows it. She is probably just as terrified of getting hurt again as you are. Why don't you go and talk to her about it?"

Chandler felt so elated at his sudden surge of good relationship advice that he had forgotten all about his own problems.

"Look, there she is over at the hospital doors. Go get her and talk!"

Ross lifted his eyes and stared right in the direction of Rachel. "I'm going to do it. Wish me luck guys!" Ross darted off towards the automatic glass doors and grabbed Rachel in his arms.

Joey and Chandler watched on in silence, both feeling more than jealous.

"You want to go see Phoebe?" Chandler flinched as he said it, dreading the answer.

Joey thought about it for a minute then nodded. He smiled back at Chandler and followed him back to the hospital room that had become his second home of late. He had no idea what awaited him, or what he was going to say, he had a lot of deciding to do on the 5 minute walk. Would he get the chance to say what he wanted?

~*~

"Im sorry Mon. For everything." Phoebe lay back and shut her eyes. She had gotten a lot of things off her chest and the release felt wonderful. Now she wanted to sleep, but it wasn't going to happen that way. A chap sounded at the door and a Dr. entered.

"Miss Buffay, we have the results of your scan."

Monica and Phoebe exchanged glances of sheer terror.

Phoebe gulped, and nodded. "Please tell me and get it over with!"

The Dr, who was holding a large clipboard in his hand, sat on the edge of her bed.

"Phoebe, from what we can see in your scan there is a semi-large shadow covering your womb. It's a growth of some kind, but at this stage we cant determine what kind of growth. We are going to have to operate as soon as possible to rule out anything serious. The longer it's left the worse it could get."

Phoebe knew this was serious but couldn't find the emotions to cry. She nodded and held onto Monica who was now on the bed next to her.

The room was filled with silence until a nurse came into the room and administered Phoebe a plastic cup full of tablets.

"Take these Phoebe to help you sleep." The nurse handed Phoebe a cup of water and she drank the pills down.

A portable bed pushed by two porters entered the room. They lifted her gently onto it, and began to wheel her to the operating theatre. As they struggled to get it through the door Phoebe turned back to look at Monica. Neither said a word but their faces said everything. The fear was written all over them, this was make or break time.

~*~

I will be updating very soon, I promise. :o) Keep reviewing, and feel free to submit suggestions of what you would like to happen.

Xxxx