Chapter 35

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with friends.

A/N: Remember I said one more chapter? Well I started writing and im at nearly 7000 words, so ive decided to cut this into a 2 parter. Heres the first bit, second part coming very soon :o) Oh and again thanx for the reviews, they are all fab. I love you guys xxxxx

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Everyone turned their heads in surprise as they heard one of the bedroom doors open and footsteps approach them, stopping immediately as they saw the figure before them.

"Joey? We thought you were out of town?" Chandler gazed at his scruffy looking friend who had once taken so much care of his appearance and shook his head in sadness.

Joey tried to look at Chandler, but his eyes were fixed on a tear stained phoebe, who had not stopped crying, sitting on his barcalounger.

"I, I, I went to my parents for a bit, but I came back because you phoned and said you needed me." Joey had now prized his eyes away from Phoebe and looked at Chandler in confusion.

"I didn't call you Joe, I didn't even know where you were." Chandler verified what Joey was thinking. He had been set up.

Phoebe had now turned her head away from the direction Joey was standing and was looking down at the ground, unease washing over her, her stomach churning with a nervousness she had never in her life experienced.

The room fell silent; no one knew what to say to break the eerie stillness that had now enveloped them. Monica noted to herself how awkward this whole situation was. 4 friends that had once been so close they told each other everything, now lost for words to say to one another. She never thought she would see this day, but here it was, right in front of her face and she saw no way to make it better. Things were falling apart slowly, but surely and everyone had been so wrapped up in their own lives they hadn't seen it coming.

Joey and Phoebe both continued to stare at the floor in front of them, while Monica and Chandler looked on in sorrow, until a noise caused them all to look up.

"Shh little one its ok," Chandler tried to comfort the baby in his arms without causing too much of a commotion, but her crying only got louder and more painful. No amount of rocking or shhing was doing any good, Infact her wailing was growing worse if anything.

"Chandler? Let me try?" Joey motioned to hold the baby and readily accepted her into his arms.

The moment she was close to his chest he felt his body de-tense, all the troubles of the last few months draining away from him as he cradled his daughter back into sleep. All three watched on in astonishment as the baby's crying subsided immediately and replaced it with gurgling and laughter.

Joey couldn't believe how wonderful it was to have her back in his life. She was a little part of him; she even had his dark features, her big brown half-Italian eyes staring absorbedly up at him made his heart ache. He had lost out on a tiny part of her life and he never wanted to miss a single thing again, until the day he died. He had her back and he wasn't letting her go. If only he could have her mother as well he wished momentarily as he swayed his daughter tenderly to and fro. His broken heart was mending itself with every wave.

The baby quickly drifted off back into a deep slumber and Joey walked her over to a very anxious looking Phoebe, who had watched the whole thing with hope in her heart.

"Have you held her yet?" He asked quietly so as not to wake her back up, his voice was not allowing the fear that he felt become evident as he spoke to her.

Phoebe shook her head sorrowfully, tears trailing her cheeks. Her emotions curdled together as he looked at her the way he had done the night their daughter had been conceived. The love and compassion he often hid were now radiating from his eyes, as though telepathically telling her everything was ok.

"I can't support her yet, im not strong enough after the operation."

He knelt down to the left of Phoebe and motioned to her with his head for her open her arms, which she did, unsurely at first, but fully trusting of what he was about to do. She knew he would never purposely put her or their daughter in jeopardy. He placed the baby into them and held onto her underside, firmly supporting her as her mother cuddled her for the first time since her birth.

The room was filled yet again with silence, but this time there was nothing uncomfortable about it, it was peaceful almost. Monica moved herself closer to Chandler and cuddled into him lovingly as they smiled joyously at seeing Phoebe finally get to hold her child the way she had for so long wished to do. They were both certain they saw happiness in her eyes, and that child-like quality that she once possessed was there once again. The old Phoebe they all adored was returning in front of their eyes and it couldn't have made them more contented. They were sure they had lost that part of her forever in London.

Phoebe didn't want to let go, but the pain in her abdomen was telling her she had to. "Let's put her in the crib," She looked back at Joey and watched as he slipped his hands away from her arms, and straightened himself into a standing position. As his fingers brushed her bare arms she felt feelings she hadn't done since London. Electricity. Excitement. And most importantly, love.

Joey started to make his was towards the middle of the room where the crib was positioned, but stopped at the sound of Phoebe calling his name.

"Let me help, please?" She wanted more than anything to put her baby to bed, and she knew with his help it would be possible.

"Sure," He almost went to call her sweetie, but stopped himself, still unsure of his and her feelings. "Best not to rock the boat" He thought.

He waited for a moment for her to get up, but when she didn't move it became apparent to him she was unable to move on her own. Chandler had already broken free from Monica, in big brother mode, ready to assist her, but Joey clearly already had it under control. Chandler couldn't believe this was the same man who had walked from his bedroom only 15 minutes ago, unwashed and unshaved, looking like the town tramp. The old Joey was back too. The guy Chandler respected and loved like a brother. The guy who had the biggest heart of anyone he knew. He may not have been the Einstein of the group, bringing intelligent conversations with him, but he most certainly was the one most capable of being their when you need him, and for that he admired him.

Joey carefully wrapped his free arm around Phoebe's waist, and vigilantly guided her towards the center of the room, stopping every few steps to check she was all right.

He let go his grip of her, lifting her hand sympathetically and placing it on the cribs side for her to hold onto while he placed to baby down to sleep.

"Joey, you gave her hugsy?" Phoebe let out a gasp of amazement as she saw the stuffed toy strategically placed next to her daughters' body, much to Joey's embarrassment.

"I promised her I would give it to her when I had her and her mom home safe, and here you are so," He cut off in mid sentence and watched his own feet shuffle on the beige carpet, avoiding her amorous stare.

Seeing his friends uncomforting looks, Chandler broke the silence.

"Hey, you all must be starving, I know I am, so why don't we eat some of this delicious food prepared just this afternoon by my wonderful new girlfriend," He quipped, not realizing no one new about him and Monica yet. Now it was his turn to squirm.

"You two are together?" Joey and Phoebe chorused simultaneously.

"That's right guys, me and Mon and now officially a couple."

"But how?" Joey tried to get his brain around it all.

"I think we both realized life is too short to take things for granted. So when Phoebe was in having her operation we, well, just went for it. There's no time for missed opportunities in this world." Monica hugged into Chandler again, warmed by his sweet words.

"That's so great," Phoebe added, trying as hard as she could to sound enthusiastic. She was truly happy for her friends, but watching them cozy up only made her realize what she was missing. That kind of tenderness was something she had never had with a man, or anyone for that matter. The only time she had felt remotely loved was when she lay in Joey's arms in that hotel room in London, wondering what she had done to deserve such an amazing person. But it had all been torn from her so rapidly that she didn't have a chance to savor it. The memory of it was just that, a distant recollection of a time when things where good, for just that brief second.

"I don't think im in the mood to eat. Sorry Mon, I know you've went to such trouble to do this for me" She looked over at the mountains of food that sat on the counter. Still holding onto the side of the crib she let go and attempted to walk back to where she had been sitting, but as her hand slid free from the wooden slat she felt her knees begin to buckle and collapse beneath her. In a hopeless effort to save herself she threw her arm back out towards the crib, but it was too late, she couldn't reach it in time. She was inches from hitting the ground when she felt herself being dragged back upwards by the waist.

"PHOEBE!" Joey dropped to his knees and grabbed her frantically, pulling her into the safeness of his embrace.

"Are you ok?" He didn't wait for an answer, he looked all over her body to make sure she was in one piece before devotedly yanking her body into his, cuddling her with all his might.

At first she was surprised, and almost scared to hug him back, but the longer her held her the more she melted into his hold, their bodies molding together as one.

"Phoebe, I," he whispered into her ear, but he was cut off by the front door bursting open.

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED, ARGHH" Rachel squealed with utter delight as she ran towards her friends, flailing her arms in the air, followed closely by an exhausted looking Ross, who was trying to catch up with her.

"Oh my God congratulations you guys!" Monica, Chandler, Ross and Rachel danced around the room hugging, watched on by Joey and Phoebe, who had now broken their embrace and looked on at their friends, frowns on both their faces.

Suddenly remembering why they were there, Rachel and Ross broke free and turned to look at Phoebe on the floor.

"Welcome home sweetie!" Rachel ran towards her and kissed her ardently on the forehead, again followed by Ross who copied her kiss.

"What are you doing down there?" Ross laughed at the sight of her on her knees in the middle of the room.

Joey got up from his position and pulled Phoebe up with him.

"She went for a little trip," Joey tried to defuse the situation by joking, and it worked as everyone guffawed at what had happened. Even Phoebe managed a small chuckle.

"Ok, well I hate to leave so soon, but im dragging Ross home to consummate this engagement," Rachel laughed as she dragged him by the arm towards the door, and he certainly wasn't complaining or resisting.

"Uh, do you need to put that image in our heads?" Monica grimaced at the thought of her best friend and her brother having sex.

"Bye your guys. See you tomorrow." And with that the door slammed behind them, leaving the other 4 lost for words yet again.

"Well, it's getting late, I suppose I had better be getting home too. Do you fancy staying the night with me? I don't want to be alone if Rachel's spending the night with Ross," Monica looked at Chandler suggestively, letting him know they would be doing more than sleeping if he agreed.

"How can I pass up on an offer like? Just let me get my pajamas." He joked.

"Oh trust me, you wont be needing any night clothes." Monica retorted back.

"Guys? I don't want to spoil your night, but before you go could you help me find a hotel." Phoebe looked sadly at the loved up couple.

"Oh my God Pheebs, I totally forgot you didn't have a place to stay! I'm so sorry hun."

"You're not going to a hotel! You're staying right here, where I can keep an eye on you and the little one! You can have Chandler's room while he stays at Mon's and then we can work out tomorrow a more permanent solution." Joeys face looked so serious she found it hard to argue with him, as awkward as she thought it would be she knew she really didn't have another option.

"Ok, now that's sorted let me help you settle in," Joey lifted her bags and helped her walk into Chandler's room.

"Goodnight guys, we'll see the three of you at mine for breakfast?" Monica had to shout, as they got further away from her sight.

"Okay," Joey screamed back from the room as Monica and Chandler quietly slipped out of the apartment.

Once safely outside in the hallway Chandler threw his arms around Mon once again. "I just wish those two would put everything behind them and move on. They are made for each, it's so stupid!"

"What do you mean? They had a one-night stand in London. Just because they have a baby doesn't mean they have to play happy families. It's the 21st century Chandler!" Monica looked a little mad as she read him the riot act.

"Monica he's besotted with her. Ive never known Joey to love someone so much, ever! The only girl he's been with since has been that Gemma girl, who im still not convinced was real, since we never got to see her, and as you know, that just isn't like him. Geez he used to have a new one every day, at least. You know there were times id come home from work and there would be a whole cheerleading squad sitting in my living room!"

"Ok Chandler I get the point," Monica rolled her eyes as she let herself into the apartment,

"So how do you know this? What's he said to you?" Her eagerness for answers was apparent on her face.

"He told me at the hospital the day Phoebe had her operation. He couldn't handle it all, it was too much for him, he was terrified he was gonna crack up again." He took a seat on the couch next to Monica to get comfortable as he resumed his story.

"He wants more than anything for them to be a family, but something's stopping him and I don't know what he never said. I think there's hope for them though; you could see it tonight when they looked at each other."

"I know what you mean," Monica nodded in recognition.

"I half expected them to arguing when Joey appeared, but there was just this eerie calm, did you notice it?"

"Yeah, it was weird wasn't it? It was like they were seeing each other for the first time." Chandler agreed.

Monica sighed. "Oh well, I guess only time will tell huh?" They sat in silence for a moment, thinking about the night's events.

"Do you want to go to bed now?" Monica looked over at him slyly.

"You need to ask me that?" He lifted her from the couch and carried her, both giggling, into the bedroom for a night of fun.

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Phoebe sat on the edge of the bed watching Joey put the last of her things into a spare drawer in Chandler's bedside cabinet.

"Ok, that's me done. Here, you can wear this until we get all your clothes washed." He handed her an oversized Knicks T-shirt and headed for the door, leaving her to get ready for bed.

"Joey?" Phoebe called him back, unease in her voice at what she was about to say.

"Yeah?"

"I can't," She stopped for a moment to compose herself.

"I can't undress on my own. I'm not able to lift my arms and strip at the same time, it hurts too much. I always need someone to help me, and Monica usually does it but," He cut her off.

"It's ok sweetie, I can help you," He didn't think twice about what he had just said to her, it just felt natural.

He walked over to the bed and sat next to her, patting her hand in reassurance. "What do I need to do?" He looked at her confidently, not wanting to show his apprehension.

"If I lift my arms slowly can you lift my top over my head?" She couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with him, she felt too mortified.

"Of course," He watched as she delicately raised her arms over her head and he held onto the bottom of her top and began to lift it, until it was over her head and off. He threw it down onto the floor and held onto her arms as she slowly brought them back down.

Joey looked down at her long black trousers, something Phoebe would never have been caught dead in before and looked back up at her.

"Do you need help with those too?

"I need help with everything," Joey couldn't tell if the embarrassed look on her face was due to the awkward situation, or the fact she needed help at all. She was always so independent, and now she was practically bed ridden.

With careful precision he aided her in removing the rest of her clothes and putting on his t-shirt. As he slipped it cautiously over her head and slid it down over her body, he felt her shiver ever so slightly.

She had felt it again, that electricity of his touch on her tender, bare skin. She finally was able to look at him.

"Thank you," She said, truly sincere in her words.

He looked longingly back at her. "Your welcome," he stood up quickly, realizing he was inches away from wanting to kiss her.

As he was almost out of the door her turned back.

"If there is anything at all you need you just shout on me, ok?"

She nodded and flashed him a smile.

As the door shut the smile fell from her face and she let out a sigh, letting her head fall onto the pillow. She had wanted him to kiss her, not leave her all alone, but it was all too soon. She had so much explaining and apologizing to do, and now wasn't the right time to be confessing feelings. Was it?

As she thought things over her eyes became heavy and the days events took their toll as sleep washed over her. Moments later she was in a deep sleep, dreaming peacefully.

~*~

Joey pulled the duvet cover over his body and sunk into the soft mattress below him. Under normal circumstances he would have been asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, but tonight was no ordinary night. All he could think about was Phoebe and his daughter, who was asleep in the next room. Only days ago he had envisioned himself a lonely old man, holed up in a dingy apartment downtown, mulling over his regrets. But now here he was faced with opportunity to make things right, and he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to so badly, but he felt he had a lot of explaining to do. She would hardly want him now, after all he had done. Would she? He shook his head and turned on his side to look at the cabinet beside him. On it sat the envelope he had managed to talk Ursula into giving him. He reached up and emptied the contents into the palm of his hand, admiring its beauty as he twiddled it between his fingers. She deserved this so much, but he couldn't let himself believe he was the man to give it to her. She deserved someone better. He put it back and sat it back next to his lamp. He fell into sleep with tears falling from his eyes. He had messed up, and there was no way to repair it, was there?

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