Chapter Five

"If We Are Like You In the Rest, We Shall Resemble You In That"

I never had a "thing" for James's sister. Honestly, I didn't.

I was very much in love.

She was so...different from all of the others. Just unique. I don't know....She wasn't like Fiona, who could make a Dementor laugh and could cuddle up with a hippogriff. I believe that's why Peter was so fond of her, actually. His mother was very distant, and Fiona made the world a balmy and secure place for him. And she was not at all like Lily, so wild and bubbly like a joyful fawn. She complemented James perfectly, James who was so suave and sure. It was a pair made perfect, like a rose or tree Nature had made just right. And, although often times she was similar, she was far from Verona, the cavalier and bold girl whose unruly potency and polished air reminded me of a Victorian lady: fierce and controlling. She and Sirius made a boisterous duo.

Elle just...wasn't anything special. She wasn't. Quiet, really. Sharp. Intriguing.

It was certain that she could fancy me too; I'm a bookish, taciturn character, after all.

Besides, we were the two remaining members of the Willows and the Marauders. Wasn't it destined that we should be a couple?

I had it all set in my mind that day. It was precisely a week before the Yule Ball that year and I made it a personal goal (one I arrogant assured myself I would realize) to ask Elle to join me. Firstly, she'd always been cordial with me. There was no reason for rejection. Secondly, it wasn't like she had many admirers. True, the geeks like Perkins Quirrel and Frank Longbottom were agog over her, but they didn't count. And I did.

When I found her, she was standing by the sign-up sheet with Snape. That lowered the bar a bit. At least I didn't have to squander time trying to convince her to stay: She'd obviously already signed up. And I didn't have to worry about getting her in private. Snape didn't count. He was a slimy little weasel who was probably going out with that sluttish Calypso Debris from the Slytherin Cheerleading squad, anyway.

"Hey!" I called out as I approached her.

She didn't seem to hear me; she was staring and blushing at Snape, who was blushing himself.

"Hey!" I repeated.

She snorted in surprise and whipped about to face me. "Hello, Remus. Um, what are you doing?"

"You signed up to stay over?"

She seemed to not comprehend my words, as if they were said in another tongue, but then glanced over at the sheet with comprehension. "Oh! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Mm hmm. Most definitely. Why do you ask?"

"Well...you wanna go to the Yule Ball with me?"

Snape's eyebrows flexed and his eyes glazed over frostily.

Elle looked gauche. "Yule Ball," she echoed. She then blinked. "Forgive me, Remus, but I'm already going with someone else. I'm sorry."

Her words were an unforeseen blow to the spleen. I sputtered. "What? W-w-with who?"

"With 'whom', Remus darling."

"Ugh! With whom, then?"

She feigned nonchalance. "No one, really. Just...someone."

"Would you like to try Calypso Debris?" Snape inquired sweetly. "I'm sure she's unattended."

"Shut up, you!" I snapped. Bad enough Snape had seen me get shot down; he didn't even have the tact to leave me alone. "I don't see you with anyone either."

A furtive little smile braided his lips, but he made genuine attempts to smother it.

"What is it now?" I demanded crossly.

"Oh, nothing," he insisted.

"Really, Remus," Elle piped up. "I'm sorry. I'll see you there, though. You can still have a good time."

"Seriously, though, I wanna know. Who is it?"

She heaved her shoulders. "It's nobody."

"Gotta be somebody," I persisted inexorably.

"Well, yes," she admitted hesitantly.

"Goes to this school?"

"Overtly, yes." She seemed to begin to bristle a little.

"Boy, right?"

"Remus!"

"Sorry, obvious." I paused. "Snape, what the hell are you still doing here?"

A grin.

"I'm gonna smack you, you little bas---"

"Ooh, cunning."

I leaned over to clobber him but he smoothly stepped out of my path, sending me crashing into a suit of armor.

"Did you mean to do that?" was his syrupy inquiry.

That was a little odd. Snape always seemed to get snapped up in on of our attempts to smack him around. Well, it was a Saturday morning. Maybe I was still tire---

"REMUS!"

I glanced up to see Sirius's face jutting out from behind the Boys Bathroom door.

"What is it?"

Sirius looked at Elle. "Oh hi, Ellie."

"It's 'Elle'," was her dull reply.

"Right, sure." His eyes fixed on me again. "Could you come in here for a sec?"

I was going to ask why, but I didn't. He poked his full head out and I saw: his entire head of long hair had been glued, strand by strand, to his pillow.

The first thing I heard was Elle's incredulous laughter and there was a crash as she slumped to the floor in hysterics. I was too shocked to even smile.

"God, Elle," Sirius barked, flushing crimson. "Knock it off. It's not funny. And---wait a tick, SNAPE! Why are you...." Sirius was livid. "SNAPE!" he roared. "YOU DID THIS, DIDN'T YOU?!"

"What, the bit with sneaking into your dorm, taking Dire's Dragon-Talon Glue, and patiently spending hours cementing your head to your pillow?" he inquired innocently. "Well, yes."

Sirius looked poised to pounce.

"Careful, Black. You wouldn't want to come out of that bathroom, less someone see you," Snape reminded him tauntingly.

"REMUS! Bash his head in!"

I swallowed.

"Yes, Remus," Snape jeered, "bash his head in. Come on. He's waiting."

I made a solemn vow to my mother never to hurt another student, less anyone think I was a hazard as a werewolf. I looked at Sirius apologetically.

"Why not just go to breakfast and leave Sirius to his primping, eh, Remus? Let him cauterize his wounds."

Powerless, I obeyed his commands, him and Elle trailing behind me all the way as Sirius slammed the door shut.

"You know," I informed him bitterly as we entered the Great Hall, "James is going to get you for this. You'll be so sorry---"

"I think James is a little busy with something else at the moment." He looked at something in the center of the room. "Don't you think?"

I stared in horror at what he was looking at: someone had taken his report card (which was so horrible that we'd all made a blood-pact never to divulge) and placed it on a banner in the center of the room, just over his seat, with the words "Potter, James" in gilt letters at the top.

James looked hollow with disbelief.

"Oh...my...God," he murmured, walking like a specter to my side as he shook his head.

"Well, I'll be off, then," Snape chirped, gliding away triumphantly.

James put two and two together. "He did it, didn't he?"

"Maybe he's got more power then you think," Elle offered dryly.

"Ellamae?"

"Yes, James?"

"Shut up. Just shut up."

****a/n: YEEEEEEEEEEES! Go Snape! Woohoo! Thank you for reviewing my story and giving me that idea!!!! You're right! Snape retaliation is super-fun!****Oh yeah, the chapter title? It's from "The Merchant of Venice." FYI.********