Disclaimer:

          We do not own Fruits Basket. We repeat…we do not own Fruits Basket. All who oppose this statement have probably seen Yuki and Kyou handcuffed to our wrists at a local shopping center. Preferably Target. However, if you decided to pursue this accusation, you'd be wrong. WRONG WRONG WRONG. NYAAAAAAAH~

Ahem. DO NOT TAKE THIS STORY SERIOUSLY. We are not trying to write a wonderful Yukyou (start the trend, folks, Yukyou fo-evah!) romance. We're being arses in trying to prove that there are few tolerable YxK stories out there, and we're making fun of how ridiculous some of them are by spoofing the genre. We have absolutely nothing against those of you that like this pairing, although we personally don't prefer it. (By the by, the two of us are both big fans of Tohru...sorry, we're not going to kill her off anytime soon, ye inquiring reviewer n_n). If you are a Yukyou fan and enjoy this spoof as real quality, more power to you. Either way, if you like it, we don't mind much :D 

 Alright! Don't forget that we've tinged this story with some yaoi (are you familiar with the term? At the end of the story is a thorough definition, you'd be surprised at how wrong you might be), but are mainly spoofing shounen-ai (again, see below). Enjoy to the best of your abilities.

FYI! -

*...* Flashbacks (a.k.a., remembering hottness...oh yeah.)

'...' Inner thought (ponder ponder!)

(...) Author input (because they're hott. Yes.)

                                                                   * * * * * F A S C I N A T I O N * * * * *

                                                                   ...an epic romance by Limey and Navale

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                                                                          CHAPTER II : FOOLISH GAMES

          Tohru awoke with a start, her flushed, petite body covered in layers of fluffy pink lace. She blinked, slightly befuddled, as the sunlight filtered into her room and lighted her infallible smile. She loved waking up early to hear the bluebirds sing sweetly outside of her second-story bedroom, and leaned over to open the window and let the dewy morning air in. Her songbirds chirped happily as three of them flew to Tohru's bedside, their pleasant song suddenly blurring the room with fuzzy white bubbles and a sound slowly vamping in the background, sounding very suspiciously like the beginning of a musical sequence. Tohru smiled (does she ever stop smiling?) magnanimously as the birds hopped onto her outstretched arm.

            "I'm sorry, Huggles," she said regretfully to the bird on her index finger, bringing him close to her lips and kissing his soft, feathery head. "I have to make an extremely delicious breakfast for Shigure, Yuki and Kyou...I don't have time for a musical number right now. Perhaps tomorrow?" The bubbles disappeared and the musical vamp died as the birds nodded understandingly before flying out of the window, for they, as she, must start the new day. Tohru sighed happily as she pushed her comforter away from her body, turning to plant her feet on the ground as she stood up. She knew that she usually woke up right on time; however, she felt as if she had awakened earlier than usual. She checked her pink wall clock.

            '5:17am...Oh good! Since I'm up earlier than usual, I can make an extra-special breakfast for them!' Her daily routine usually started with a crisp, cool shower to stimulate her senses and keep her energy high as usual. She hummed a tune softly to herself as she unbuttoned her modest nightgown, the cool morning breeze striking her milky, feminine skin as she reached for her bathrobe. 'Wait a second,' she thought, a trifle confused. 'Morning...breeze?' The silken-haired girl realized with horror that her window was still wide open—with her standing absolutely naked in front of it. Usually, because of the remote location of Shigure's house, this would not be a problem...except for the fact that the newspaper boy was riding across the clearing. He looked up at her, a smile on his face as he prepared to greet Miss Tohru with a cheerful 'Good Morning!' At seeing her naked (and quite shapely, might we add) body, his nose gushed like a fountain of blood as he slammed into a tree, his eyes focusing on her...er...tracts of land. She turned as pink as her comforter as she quickly wrapped herself in her bathrobe, spazzing wordlessly at how awful the day had just become. Gathering her wits about her, she tied her robe around her waist very tightly and headed for the bathroom. 'I don't think that I could have had a worse start to my day,' Tohru thought glumly, her mouth slightly frowning. 'At least this shower will clear my thoughts and make me feel much better!' Her hand strayed to her bathrobe pocket, where a pair of sunny yellow ribbons brushed softly against her fingers.

            'Yuki...' The ribbons were never far from her at any time, and a smile that felt a little silly grew on her face unconsciously. Speaking of things that make her feel much better... she shook her head violently in the hallway to clear her muddled thoughts, but a small smile still remained. 'No matter what happened a few minutes ago, today is going to be a great day!' She opened the door to the bathroom, her cheeks slightly flushed...

            The door slammed open with a bang as her eyes opened wide in shock at the sight of her housemate (or perhaps more? Muaha...ha.), his violet-grey hair pasted limply to his sweat soaked forehead. He was clutching the counter with a shaking hand, his other barely holding up a thin towel over his...um...family jewels. With the sudden snap of the door, he looked up at Tohru with the eyes of a startled animal—and another expression she couldn't read...guilt? What should he feel guilty about?

            "Tohru," he whispered, his voice cracking as he realized his blatant informality. Tohru's face burned, the sound of her name on his lips more pleasing than she had ever imagined.  She took in a shallow breath, confused.

            "Yuki...kun?"

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            'Oh God.'

            Kyou awoke with a start, his sweat-soaked body—

           ( Limey: Wait. Is it just us, or is this entrance getting a little old?

             Navale: He's already awake, stupid.

             Limey: Oh right! :D I'm just the writer. You keep track of the plot.

             Navale: Right-o. Shall we start over again? )

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            (Take 2. OH MY GOD! I'M SO SORRY! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!!! GOOOOMEN NASAAAAAAIIIII~)

            'Oh God.'  Kyou leaned against the wall, his legs shaking. He attempted to calm himself down with a few deep breathing techniques that Kazuma-sensei had taught him, but they only succeeded in making him more light-headed than before. Of course, not even Kyou was very sure that his light-headedness was from the breathing techniques or the intensity of what had just happened.

            He could still feel Yuki's tender lips on his, the delicious tango of tongues that had sparked electricity he neither could nor would easily forget for a long time. 'Long time?' he thought, a bit sadly. He didn't want it to be a long time, all of a sudden—

            "ARGH!" He grabbed at his skimpy towel in frustration, bunching the towel in his fist and throwing it to the ground. What need had he for modesty, especially after that display? He ran his hand, still damp with sweat, through his hair as he let out breath he didn't know he had been holding in. "What was I thinking? What was I doing?" he whimpered, falling to his knees softly. He was a tortured soul, trapped in his indecision. Should he pretend as if nothing had happened? Or should he confront Yuki about their encounter? One path denied him the sweet sexual pleasure and completion he had felt and fully indulged himself in. However, the normalcy of his life that he had worked so hard for would remain. On the other hand, he could explore that addictive spark he knew the two of them shared—his Dream could become a reality for more than just a fleeting, beautiful moment. The simple thought of waking up with Yuki in his arms, his soft breath tickling his neck, and 'tickling' a few other things as well... no, he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed the experience, just as he couldn't deny the endless depth of Yuki's violet eyes.

            *Kyou traced Yuki's jawline with a careful finger, the feel of his lover's soft skin burning an ache in his...uh...loins. His fiery eyes, usually burning with fervor, were gently subdued with tenderness as he stared into breathtaking violet. Those beautiful eyes crinkled softly as Yuki smiled at him, and Kyou held him as close as he could while still being able to gaze upon his face. How he loved that smile...he couldn't really remember when that smile had started to mean more to him than the usual cocky grins, but now, as he slowly leaned into Yuki and kissed him lightly on his lips, he wondered that there was a time that he hated seeing him smile. The simple kiss became more heated as the man in his arms responded eagerly to his advances, and Kyou pulled away with a teasing smirk, silently drinking in the beauty of his partner with happiness he didn't attempt to hide.

            'Down, boy,' he said, his eyes half-lidded. Yuki returned his smirk before licking his neck from the collarbone to the jaw, slowly letting his tongue saunter on the underside of his jawline. He breathed onto the wet skin, eliciting a soft moan from Kyou before he could stop it.

            'Down?' Yuki asked politely, his countenance absolutely innocent. His finger wandered down Kyou's chest and under the sheets before Kyou could stop him—not that he wanted to, knowing what was going to happen. He claimed Yuki's lips yet again, his body flustered with building ecstacy.

            'You know what I meant, you little minx,' he snarled, his voice raspy with desire. Yuki smiled again simply, his eyes, once sweet with child-like innocence, now veiled with lust.

            'I know what you want,' he breathed, his hand around Kyou's...urm...staff. 'I know what you need...' *

            If Kyou had kept his towel on, he would have made a pretty damn good tent.

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            "Tohru," he whispered, shaken with the shock of seeing her in the condition he was in. His mind reeled at the informality he had chosen to address her by; she, fortunately and unfortunately, seemed to be more preoccupied with other things.

            "Yuki...kun?" she breathed, tears springing to her eyes. (Why is Tohru crying? Most anime women do at the sight of a nearly naked boy. I know I'd be crying out of sheer joy…anyhow, I digress…) Yuki couldn't meet her questioning gaze, couldn't look into her pristine blue eyes without feeling as if he'd done something very... naughty, to say the least. His head hung in guilt as he fiddled with the towel wrapped hazardously around his waist.

          "Honda-san, I'm...I...uh..." She blushed profusely, frozen with shock and embarassment, then proceeded to bow as many times as she could manage. Yuki became even more flustered as he realized her robe was, indeed, very low cut--and had no support to boot. His mind drifted back to the events that had occurred before Tohru's untimely appearance, and he remembered the touch of Kyou's tan, slick chest at his fingertips. Something in him was revolted at how dirty the act was, kept screaming of the injustice he had done Tohru. How can you claim to love her...be worthy of her... Oh, how his heart and libido were torn to shreds! He wept inwardly at the conflict within himself. I love her...I do. But I want him.

          No, he simply could not deny that what had happened meant a great deal to him...and something in him told him that Kyou had not taken their passionate embrace lightly, either. Yuki recalled the passion, the utter need and ecstasy flowing like free energy from their panting bodies into the air; he shivered. What a mess.

          Tohru watched Yuki struggle within himself, grieving as she felt the wall between them rise yet again. What could he be thinking of? If this had been like any other morning, she would wistfully hope that his pure, virginal thoughts would be of her. Today he seemed frazzled—distracted. And his attire was certainly less than virginal, she decided with a little sigh. She waited for him to break out of his reverie, her heart still beating in her ears like a Brazilian mambo.

          Oh—oh no! she thought frantically, her hands flying to her head in panic. He...he wanted to take a nice, relaxing, morning shower—and then I barged in on his privacy! This is all my fault! Tohru unknowingly said the last exclamation out loud in her distress, and Yuki shoved off his inner angst in surprise. She turned to the door, her head hung low—Oh goodness! This is such a low-cut robe!—and started to leave.

          "I'm sorry, Yuki-kun, I promise I'll announce myself before ever entering the bathroom again," she trembled, still on the verge of tears.

          "Honda-san, this isn't your fault," Yuki said softly, securing the towel around his waist as best he could. He started to walk towards her slowly, each step bringing them closer...and yet miles apart. Kyou...Kyou, you little minx, what have you done to me?

          "It's okay, Yuki-kun, I'll be more polite—" She reached for the door, only to be pulled back roughly by her shoulder and into the adjacent wall. Tohru couldn't look him in the eyes. She had done him such a disservice...she was so ashamed...and she was crying so hard, she probably wouldn't have been able to see him anyway.

          "Honda-san," he said intensely, his jaw tight. "Honda-san, none of this is your fault, okay? If the fault had to lie with any of us, it would be mine..." Mine, and mine alone. Alone. Even though he had Tohru's constant support and love, there were times that he simply could not avoid or be protected from. Times in which he felt nothing but alone, and acutely so. He found himself aching for Kyou's protective embrace, his moans, his body...the part of himself that he had never known before this morning, embedded in Kyou's fiery eyes.

          It wasn't just attraction, he realized with horror, his face becoming even more pale than snow. (Limey: Haha, I'm punny! *gets whapped by Navale's steel fan*) There was feeling there. A feeling that, he admitted with growing dread, he wanted to know more about.

          "NO!" he shouted, his forehead bearing down upon her collarbone. Tohru felt him shaking and she choked back a sob, her hand drifting to rest on his silvery head of hair. He was hurting so much...

          "Tohru," he whispered again. His eyes met hers, and she could not look away. He leaned closer to her, his breath tickling her nose, as he lifted his head to kiss her.

          This is right...this is how it should be, Yuki, you know that. Kyou means nothing to you, nothing at all... And you'll prove it with this kiss.

tsuzuku.

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Limey:  Ohohohohohoho~ Cliffhangers are essential to any Harlequin romance parodies, dontcha know? (As are Minnesooo-an accents.)  Well that was fun. We've been sort of busy so this one took a little longer—but it's 2AM, and it's finally over! OOOOOVER!!!!! *cries happy tears of Yukyou joy*

Navale: Noooooo! What are you doing?!? We have to write around 3 more chapters of this smut!! And now that you've finished writing this, that means I have to plan out the NEXT one! AAAAAAAAGGGGHHH! ;_;

Anyhow...well, we're both really quite tired right now and have nothing witty to say. I think we spent all our brains being witty during the story, which consequently means we will not be able to function on our own for the next 48 hours. Find our plugs and an ISP port, please... oh, and here's our long-winded explanation of yaoi vs. shounen-ai. Pay attention or we'll come after you with sticks and other various weapons of violence.

Ahem. Shounen-ai and yaoi are very different. Why is this so funny to us? Because people seem to use these terms interchangeably. You see, shounen-ai literally means pretty boy love. This refers to what Ayame calls OTOKO NO ROMANSHU (male romance). Yaoi, however, is usually a term for male sexual romance/male sexual encounter stories. Although yaoi is currently being used to indicate male romance by many, usually yaoi advertises homosexual erotica, or full-blown sex. "GASP!" you say. "I've described my shounen-ai story as yaoi instead? Will this give people the wrong impression?" Well…when we see somebody advertise their story as yaoi…uh, yeah, yeah, it really does give the wrong impression, dear, sorry. ;) Why is this listed as a funny fact? Well, loyal reader, it's because this is such a common mistake in the shounen-ai genre that it's a little humorous. Pardon us for being educated snots. n_n (Navale: That's what happens when you go to college…)

NEXT CHAPTER:

          Navale: I HAVEN'T PLANNED THIS YET!!!

          Limey: No spoilers for YOU, silly reader! Bwahahahaha~

          Navale: Hint. It involves Kyou's tent and Yuki's camping trip…

          Limey: Wow, I'm going to be sick. O_o;

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF... F A S C I N A T I O N !!!!!!!!

3 Limey and Navale