Disclaimer:
Fruits Basket not ours. Get it? Got it? Good. IST GOOT, JA? Oh, and by the way…Guten Morgen means 'Good Morning' in German. Keep that in mind, and reflect upon it as a type of 'Letter/Number of the Day', a la Sesame Street.
Gee, what can we say other than…next time, pink fuzzy handcuffs would probably be less chaffing on the skin. Ahem.
FYI! -
*...* Flashbacks (a.k.a., remembering hottness...oh yeah.)
(...) Author input (because they're hott. Yes.)
* * * * * F A S C I N A T I O N * * * * *
...an epic romance by Limey and Navale
* * * * *
CHAPTER III : YUKI ROUGHS IT UP
Yuki awoke with a start, his sore, dirt-streaked body covered in sweat. He rose slowly, the makeshift bed upon the pine needles digging slightly into his pale, delicate skin, bearing a slight resemblance to acupuncture. What the hell was going on? Suddenly, the tent rustled a little bit as someone grunted next to him. Only then did Yuki realize with growing horror that he was naked, had a hangover, and had absolutely no recollection of last night.
Uh…why was he in a tent naked?
The sound of a lighter and the satisfied sigh of a post-coital smoke reached his ears next, and he turned slowly (as not to upset his growing headache) to see Kyou with a satisfied smirk on his face, cigarette dangling sexily out of his mouth.
"I never knew you were one for the outdoors, baby," he murmured slightly, his hand running down Yuki's bare arm. "We almost brought the tent down last night—the pole was a little too unsteady for me to hancuff you to, I admit…"
"C-Camping? We're CAMPING? WE'RE CAMPING NAKED?"
"The camping trip was your idea, Yuki…" The smoke curled around the tent, slightly suffocating Yuki's senses and threatening to trigger an asthma attack. His eyes got wider, if possible.
"You mean we…you and I…" He looked at the wooden pole desolately as a pair of handcuffs gleamed mischieviously. If inanimate objects could wink dirtily… "But—but Kyou, I'm a…I'm a…"
Kyou blew more smoke out of his mouth coolly, his tongue languishing slowly over his pink lips. "You're a virgin? Not anymore. Not by a long shot." Yuki's jaw dropped, and it took all he had in him to not lose consciousness out of shock. He tried to grab at a sleeping bag, but found that it was mysteriously weighed down. Instead, he curled up into a little ball and glared at Kyou over his knees.
"How can you be so calm about this? Aren't you the LEAST bit perturbed at the fact that we are CAMPING with NO CLOTHES, NO SUPPLIES that I remember...and all you brought for the occasion was alcohol and…and handcuffs???"
"And cigarettes, honey, to calm you down," Kyou muttered, "although I seem to be using them more than you are."
"I HAVE ASTHMA! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!?" Kyou put his finger to Yuki's mouth to quiet him, then softly traced the other boy's lips before slowly inserting the digit into Yuki's mouth. He played with the finger gently, tonguing the softly calloused pad while sucking steadily…wait…
Why does this feel so familiar? He spat out Kyou's finger and looked up at him with even more horror than he had ever felt in his life.
"OH MY GOOOOOOD!!!" Kyou's eyebrow twitched and he took another puff, rolling his eyes.
"Quiet down already, Yuki," he said smoothly, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I've still got a headache too…at least YOU passed out after a while. I was kept up all night…"
"And what was SO important that kept YOU up the whole time?" Yuki said, aghast. The sleeping bag rustled again, and a hand suddenly appeared on his shoulder.
"Silly! That was me, of course!" Yuki froze, his eyes the size of saucers. Very violet, horrified saucers.
"You're way too cheerful this early in the morning, you know that?" Kyou said gruffly, glaring. The young boy grinned, shaking his head roughly to free his golden-blonde hair of pine needles. And Yuki's horrified saucers spilled over with sad, sad tears.
"Guten Morgen!!!"
tsuzuku.
*****
Uh. *clears throat*
Navale: DIDN'T WE TELL YOU THERE WOULD BE A CAMPING TRIP?!? *laugh evilly*
Ehe, well…we started writing the story a little too late in the day—more like 10pm, actually—and a spoof idea for the beginning of the third chapter actually became a chapter of its own. More like an interlude, shall we say. Besides, we're still working on getting the third chapter up, and we were so appreciative of the comments we've been getting, we decided to throw a little treat out for y'alls. ;) Yes, we know that this is QUITE disturbing. We're actually a little horrified ourselves. *evil grin* Yes…very horrified.
Navale: Let's play a quick game of Clue for those of you that didn't catch who the third Sohma was at the very end!
Was it MOMIJI with the DEVIRGINIZED YUKI in KYOU'S TENT?
*cries* This has absolutely NOTHING to do with the actual story. Isn't it frightening how we can parody a parody? Wait, don't try to follow that. Anyhow, the REAL third chapter will be here soon. Until then… Gute Nacht (good night). Har har har~
3 Limey & Navale
