Chapter 5- Facing Reality
The sound of Ellie's cries snaps us back to reality.
I pull out of his arms in a matter of seconds. Even though it's dark enough to hide the blush that covers my body, I still turn away.
Unlike me, he doesn't move. He remains facing the children never even flinching, " Was there something you wanted?" His tone if firm, but his smile gives him away.
" Well, we...were just..." Louisa mumbles.
" We packed Ellie's things and brought her down to you." Lisel says over Ellie's cry.
I nod to her, as I start towards them.
His hand on my arms stops me dead in my tracks, " Maria, may I?" His voice is quiet, but his eyes practical beg me.
I nod as his hand leaves my arm, and I find myself instantly aching for his touch...
I manage to ignore my urge to return to his arms, and watch in silence as he walks over to the children, not at all embarrassed by the last few moments.
He stops in front of Liesl; her eyes meet his for a moment before she gently places Ellie in his waiting arms.
His eyes are instantly on Ellie, and hers on him. He holds her to his chest as though she's the rarest treasure on earth.
Silent tears stream down my cheeks as I watch him sit down with her.
The children glance from their father to me, and back to him.
" Father?" Kurt says quietly.
" Yes?" His voice is quiet, and his eyes are fixed on Ellie.
" Where is Baroness Schraeder?" I hear the faintest hint of happiness in his voice.
" She's returned to Vienna." His eyes never leave Ellie.
" Will she be coming back?" Brigitta asks, a little to happily.
" No. As a matter of fact, we've called off our engagement."
" Did it have anything to do with the fact that Ellie has your eyes?" Liesl asks, it's a simple enough question, but the tone in which she says it makes my breath catch in my throat...she knows that Ellie is her sister.
" Yes." It's just one word but it answers almost all of their questions.
Ellie cries stop and her eyes begin their nightly fight to stay open.
" That means she's our sister." Brigitta says, it comes out more as a fact that she wants confirmed rather then a question.
" Yes." He finally looks up from Ellie, " She is your sister."
Before he finishes answering seven pairs of eyes land on me. " Do you love Fraulein Maria?" Liesl asks, her eyes locked with mine.
" Very much." His eyes shift to me, as Ellie drifts off to sleep.
I take a few steps towards them, all of their eyes still on me. " Do you love father?"
" Yes." I say simply.
I see shy smiles spread across their faces as they process what they have just been told. It's no surprise that Brigitta is the first one to run into my arms. The other children follow moments later, happily asking questions. " Will there be a wedding?"
" Oh, can I be in it?"
" Can Ellie sleep in my room?"
I smile at their sweet questions, while silently thanking God for their happiness.
" Alright enough excitement for tonight. It's time to get ready for bed." His voice is firm but quiet, so that he doesn't wake Ellie.
" But father..." They begin to protest, but he cuts them off before they can say anymore.
" We'll continue this conversation in the morning."
" Yes father." They say quickly, their eyes turning back to me.
" This means you're staying?" Louisa says looking up at me.
I hesitate for a moment not sure how to answer her, " Well, I'll have to get my things, but I'll come back."
She smiles at me, and then hugs me again.
" Say goodnight." His voice is more commanding this time, but still quiet enough not to wake Ellie.
They all say goodnight to me, then walk to their father. " Goodnight father. Goodnight Ellie." They say quietly. I watch them walk into the house, chattering happily as they disappear upstairs.
I slowly take the three or four steps that separate us.
" She's amazing." His voice is full of pride.
" Yes she is." His eyes meet mine as he gets up from his chair.
" You're right you know, a blind man could tell she's my daughter." His smile is so bright that it lights the dark night.
I laugh for the first time that night as he places a kiss on Ellie's forehead. " Goodnight darling." He says in a whisper before placing her in my arms.
" I have to get her home and into bed."
" Yes of course." His hand rests on the small of my back as we walk into the house. " You will come back?"
I hear a hint of uncertainty in his voice. I want to reassure him that I will come back, but I can't formulate a coherent thought as I try to recover from the lose of his touch, " I…" I don't have time to continue, because Franz enters.
" I'm sorry to interrupt Captain, but this was just delivered for you." I watch as Franz quickly hands over the telegram.
My mind flashes to earlier in the day when I arrived. I noticed that the flag of the Third Reich doesn't fly from the villa, and the "urgent call" earlier. I can't help but wonder if this telegram has something to do with the Nazis...
" Thank you Franz." He reads it silently, and I find myself unable to read him.
Franz nods silently and excuses himself.
" What is it?" I can tell by the far off look in his eyes that something is wrong.
" Berlin. They've offered me a commission in their navy. I've been requested to accept immediately and report to their naval base in Bremerhaven tomorrow."
" Tomorrow?" I say in utter shock.
" To refuse them would be fatal for all of us. And joining them would be…unthinkable." His eyes meet mine and this time I'm able to tell exactly what he's thinking.
I lower my voice, " You want to run from the Nazis?" He nods as he places a soft kiss on Ellie's head. " You can't run from the Nazis. What about the children?"
" They'll be alright, we'll help them." His eyes meet mine, as what he said finally dawns on me.
" We'll help them?" I say questionably.
" Of course, you don't think that I would leave you and Ellie here."
" We'll be safer in the abbey." It's all I can think to say.
" Maria, this is not up for discussion. I am NOT letting you and Ellie leave again." His tone is firm, unwavering.
" We can't run from the Nazis, with seven children and a two and half month old." I fight back the tears that are welling yet again in my eyes. " No, Ellie and I will stay at Nonnberg until it's safe to join you."
" Maria…" His tone is softer, but he's still unwilling to give and inch, " I love you and Ellie. I will not leave you here."
I tighten my arms around Ellie, " If it was just me, I would be helping you plan an escape route right now. But it's not, and I won't put her in that kind of danger."
" Danger, do you think that the Nazis will have any respect for Nonnberg? No one in Austria is safe, not even in an abbey."
" I know that. It has to be safer in Nonnberg then it is fleeing the country." I say, willing myself not to cry.
" You promised the children that you would come back."
" Oh, I love the children and I never meant to hurt them. But I shouldn't have come back. I...I didn't come back here to fall in love with you all over again, or to run from Nazis."
" It's dangerous, but we'll be alright. Once we're over the border we'll be safe."
" No. No, I can't...I have to go back." I say, as I pick up Ellie's things. " Promise me that I'll see you again?" I beg him, silent tears cascading down my cheeks.
He lifts his hand to my cheek, " Of course you'll see me again. I wish you would come with us, but I know that fighting you will do no good. I love you Maria, not even the Nazis can change that." He fights his own tears as he places a tender kiss on my lips. His lips leave mine and go to Ellie's forehead, " You be good for your mother. Always know that I love you."
I back away, my eyes still locked with his.
" Keep her safe, Maria." I watch him desperately trying to fight his own tears and I know that if I don't turn away now I'll never leave.
I take a deep breath and turn away from him. A part of me wnats to run back into his arms, and the rest of wants to run and never look back...
I reach the door a few seconds later, and I look over my shoulder one last time as I open the door. I step into the open doorway my back to him. I don't move for seconds, summoning the all the strength I have.
I step out of the doorway, and the dark night is there to greet me.
I grab the door handle and quickly pull the door shut…
To be continued…
************************************************************************************************
* I'm not sure how I think Georg would react under these circumstances. He knows how stubborn Maria is, and that fighting with her will do no good. And at the same time, I don't see him letting her leave again.
** I think Maria's first instinct is to run, since she's done it before I don't see it as a stretch that she would do it again. The truth came out, they told the children and wanted to run from Nazis, and all of this happened in just a few hours. Basically she freaked, and ran.
*** Now before anyone says that Maria would never leave in the dark, or Georg wouldn't let her leave with it being so dark outside, just remember, she hasn't left yet. She's standing outside the door. So many things can happen...
The sound of Ellie's cries snaps us back to reality.
I pull out of his arms in a matter of seconds. Even though it's dark enough to hide the blush that covers my body, I still turn away.
Unlike me, he doesn't move. He remains facing the children never even flinching, " Was there something you wanted?" His tone if firm, but his smile gives him away.
" Well, we...were just..." Louisa mumbles.
" We packed Ellie's things and brought her down to you." Lisel says over Ellie's cry.
I nod to her, as I start towards them.
His hand on my arms stops me dead in my tracks, " Maria, may I?" His voice is quiet, but his eyes practical beg me.
I nod as his hand leaves my arm, and I find myself instantly aching for his touch...
I manage to ignore my urge to return to his arms, and watch in silence as he walks over to the children, not at all embarrassed by the last few moments.
He stops in front of Liesl; her eyes meet his for a moment before she gently places Ellie in his waiting arms.
His eyes are instantly on Ellie, and hers on him. He holds her to his chest as though she's the rarest treasure on earth.
Silent tears stream down my cheeks as I watch him sit down with her.
The children glance from their father to me, and back to him.
" Father?" Kurt says quietly.
" Yes?" His voice is quiet, and his eyes are fixed on Ellie.
" Where is Baroness Schraeder?" I hear the faintest hint of happiness in his voice.
" She's returned to Vienna." His eyes never leave Ellie.
" Will she be coming back?" Brigitta asks, a little to happily.
" No. As a matter of fact, we've called off our engagement."
" Did it have anything to do with the fact that Ellie has your eyes?" Liesl asks, it's a simple enough question, but the tone in which she says it makes my breath catch in my throat...she knows that Ellie is her sister.
" Yes." It's just one word but it answers almost all of their questions.
Ellie cries stop and her eyes begin their nightly fight to stay open.
" That means she's our sister." Brigitta says, it comes out more as a fact that she wants confirmed rather then a question.
" Yes." He finally looks up from Ellie, " She is your sister."
Before he finishes answering seven pairs of eyes land on me. " Do you love Fraulein Maria?" Liesl asks, her eyes locked with mine.
" Very much." His eyes shift to me, as Ellie drifts off to sleep.
I take a few steps towards them, all of their eyes still on me. " Do you love father?"
" Yes." I say simply.
I see shy smiles spread across their faces as they process what they have just been told. It's no surprise that Brigitta is the first one to run into my arms. The other children follow moments later, happily asking questions. " Will there be a wedding?"
" Oh, can I be in it?"
" Can Ellie sleep in my room?"
I smile at their sweet questions, while silently thanking God for their happiness.
" Alright enough excitement for tonight. It's time to get ready for bed." His voice is firm but quiet, so that he doesn't wake Ellie.
" But father..." They begin to protest, but he cuts them off before they can say anymore.
" We'll continue this conversation in the morning."
" Yes father." They say quickly, their eyes turning back to me.
" This means you're staying?" Louisa says looking up at me.
I hesitate for a moment not sure how to answer her, " Well, I'll have to get my things, but I'll come back."
She smiles at me, and then hugs me again.
" Say goodnight." His voice is more commanding this time, but still quiet enough not to wake Ellie.
They all say goodnight to me, then walk to their father. " Goodnight father. Goodnight Ellie." They say quietly. I watch them walk into the house, chattering happily as they disappear upstairs.
I slowly take the three or four steps that separate us.
" She's amazing." His voice is full of pride.
" Yes she is." His eyes meet mine as he gets up from his chair.
" You're right you know, a blind man could tell she's my daughter." His smile is so bright that it lights the dark night.
I laugh for the first time that night as he places a kiss on Ellie's forehead. " Goodnight darling." He says in a whisper before placing her in my arms.
" I have to get her home and into bed."
" Yes of course." His hand rests on the small of my back as we walk into the house. " You will come back?"
I hear a hint of uncertainty in his voice. I want to reassure him that I will come back, but I can't formulate a coherent thought as I try to recover from the lose of his touch, " I…" I don't have time to continue, because Franz enters.
" I'm sorry to interrupt Captain, but this was just delivered for you." I watch as Franz quickly hands over the telegram.
My mind flashes to earlier in the day when I arrived. I noticed that the flag of the Third Reich doesn't fly from the villa, and the "urgent call" earlier. I can't help but wonder if this telegram has something to do with the Nazis...
" Thank you Franz." He reads it silently, and I find myself unable to read him.
Franz nods silently and excuses himself.
" What is it?" I can tell by the far off look in his eyes that something is wrong.
" Berlin. They've offered me a commission in their navy. I've been requested to accept immediately and report to their naval base in Bremerhaven tomorrow."
" Tomorrow?" I say in utter shock.
" To refuse them would be fatal for all of us. And joining them would be…unthinkable." His eyes meet mine and this time I'm able to tell exactly what he's thinking.
I lower my voice, " You want to run from the Nazis?" He nods as he places a soft kiss on Ellie's head. " You can't run from the Nazis. What about the children?"
" They'll be alright, we'll help them." His eyes meet mine, as what he said finally dawns on me.
" We'll help them?" I say questionably.
" Of course, you don't think that I would leave you and Ellie here."
" We'll be safer in the abbey." It's all I can think to say.
" Maria, this is not up for discussion. I am NOT letting you and Ellie leave again." His tone is firm, unwavering.
" We can't run from the Nazis, with seven children and a two and half month old." I fight back the tears that are welling yet again in my eyes. " No, Ellie and I will stay at Nonnberg until it's safe to join you."
" Maria…" His tone is softer, but he's still unwilling to give and inch, " I love you and Ellie. I will not leave you here."
I tighten my arms around Ellie, " If it was just me, I would be helping you plan an escape route right now. But it's not, and I won't put her in that kind of danger."
" Danger, do you think that the Nazis will have any respect for Nonnberg? No one in Austria is safe, not even in an abbey."
" I know that. It has to be safer in Nonnberg then it is fleeing the country." I say, willing myself not to cry.
" You promised the children that you would come back."
" Oh, I love the children and I never meant to hurt them. But I shouldn't have come back. I...I didn't come back here to fall in love with you all over again, or to run from Nazis."
" It's dangerous, but we'll be alright. Once we're over the border we'll be safe."
" No. No, I can't...I have to go back." I say, as I pick up Ellie's things. " Promise me that I'll see you again?" I beg him, silent tears cascading down my cheeks.
He lifts his hand to my cheek, " Of course you'll see me again. I wish you would come with us, but I know that fighting you will do no good. I love you Maria, not even the Nazis can change that." He fights his own tears as he places a tender kiss on my lips. His lips leave mine and go to Ellie's forehead, " You be good for your mother. Always know that I love you."
I back away, my eyes still locked with his.
" Keep her safe, Maria." I watch him desperately trying to fight his own tears and I know that if I don't turn away now I'll never leave.
I take a deep breath and turn away from him. A part of me wnats to run back into his arms, and the rest of wants to run and never look back...
I reach the door a few seconds later, and I look over my shoulder one last time as I open the door. I step into the open doorway my back to him. I don't move for seconds, summoning the all the strength I have.
I step out of the doorway, and the dark night is there to greet me.
I grab the door handle and quickly pull the door shut…
To be continued…
************************************************************************************************
* I'm not sure how I think Georg would react under these circumstances. He knows how stubborn Maria is, and that fighting with her will do no good. And at the same time, I don't see him letting her leave again.
** I think Maria's first instinct is to run, since she's done it before I don't see it as a stretch that she would do it again. The truth came out, they told the children and wanted to run from Nazis, and all of this happened in just a few hours. Basically she freaked, and ran.
*** Now before anyone says that Maria would never leave in the dark, or Georg wouldn't let her leave with it being so dark outside, just remember, she hasn't left yet. She's standing outside the door. So many things can happen...
