Disclaimer: I'm poor I mean I don't even have a dollar to my name so if u sue me all you'll be getting is my CD collection, my cat, and my sibs. Please at least take some pity on my and leave my cat. (I don't own nothing)

Summary: Alec remembers what happened nearly a year ago. He remembers how his world and everyone else's changed. But most of all he thinks about think about the things we don't

Paring: M/A

A/N: ty for all the ppl who reviewed and to my friends and family for being supportive and helping me. Maybe this time I'll get past the third chapter in one of my stories.

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Part 2: after heat

    Alec sat alone in his apartment in T.C. thinking things over. The world had gone from clear to cloudy in a matter of hours but then again when had his life ever made any since. He holds his head in his callused hands as he thinks things out.

  'Max's baby is dead.' The phrase repeats itself endlessly in his mottled mind. 'and I couldn't do anything to save it.' Follows soon after. Alec sighs before rubbing his eyes.

   A quite knock at the door is ignored but the person on the other side is persistent finally causing Alec to get up reluctantly and answer it. On the other side of the rotted wooden door stands Mole. The large lizard man brushes past Alec without so much as a hello. After dropping down onto the sofa near Alec's door he talks.

    "I heard about the kid." Mole watches as Alec's eyes slid shut as to hide his feelings. " Hey man don't beat yourself up about it, it wasn't even your kid."

     " You don't get it Mole. That didn't matter to me I told max I would take care of both her and the baby and I failed."

      An uncomfortable silence drifted between them as they thought. "You really do love her don't you?" Mole asks after a moment.

      "Yes and I always will." Alec answers as his mind drifts back to the source of the feelings. Almost an entire year ago….

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       Max paced her the small space allotted to her in the isolation ward. Back and forth back and forth her heat fueling her, causing her to become agitated. Her long brunette hair trailed behind her as she walked endlessly back and forth.

    From the sidelines a X5 female watched with each lap she became sicker until she finally spoke up.

      "Max stop it!" She screams. "If you don't stop I'm gonna be sick for you." She explained after getting the other x5's attention.

       " I'm sorry Cherry." Max replies. " I just can't stay still."

        The red head looked at Max for a moment. " I know what you mean but please try laying off on the pacing. The last thing we need is an express route to china."

        Despite her self and the situation max smiled before sitting down. "No promises though."

        " I can life with that." Cherry laughs.

-----------------------------------Somewhere else in TC---------------------------------------------

       " Hey Alec man head you got jumped again this morning." Sid said as he lightly punched his friend's arm.

        "What can I say I am a lady's magnet." Alec's trademark grin falling into place.

        " Yeah but I also heard that you knocked her out." Sid leaned in closer to the other man. Alec looked his long time friend over.

         " Yep I did." Sid's eyes grew wider then the eyes of a gold fish left out in the sun.

         " Why?" The slightly shorter man asked aghast. Alec shrugged.

           " I don't really know why." He answered truthfully. Sid starred at him a while more before shacking his head.

            " I still don't understand you man."

           " Neither do I." Alec muttered to his glass of scotch.

        One of the first things the citizens of TC did when they were closed in nearly three months ago was to make a bar. It seemed almost all the tangencies had relied on alcohol it some way or form during their time free for Manticore. Even if it handed gotten them drunk (which it can't) it didn't stop them from enjoying a few drinks every now and then. Because of this radioactive had so lovingly been named.

            "So Alec who was she?" Sid asked before taking a big sip out of his mug of beer.

            " Who was who?" Alec asked pretending not to know what Sid had meant.

            " You know what I mean man, but if I have to spell it out who was the girl that jumped your ass this time?"  Alec breathed deeply in to his shot glass.

             " Max." Alec answered so softly that Sid barely caught what he said. The raven-haired man spit out his drink all over the bar in front of him.

              "Max?" he gasped. Sid didn't notice the fascination Alec had acquired with his glass as he mumbled to himself.

              " What did you think she never went in to heat?" Alec asked the other man.    

              " You may think I'm dumb but yes." Sid answered still not grasping what Alec had said. " Man I can't believe you turned down Max. And don't lie 'cuz I've seen the way you look at her man. You got a thing for her."

                Now it was Alec's turn to be surprised. " No I don't. Where the hell did you get that from?" Sid shock his head almost sadly                                                    

              " When you finally see it at lotta things will make since to you but until then." Sid got up from his seat at the bar. " I'll talk to ya later."

              "Later." Alec said absently. His mind had gone into hipper drive after the comment Sid had made. The man could be slow but he was a watcher after all. And Sid saw all as he had told his friends a thousand and one times.

             'Could he be right?' Alec asked him self. 'Gnaw Max is my psycho twin's sister.' He told him self quickly dismissing the idea. 'But why did I stop her then?'

             Suddenly needing to know something Alec jumped up leaving his scotch unfinished. Todd, the trannie, behind the bar watched the guy leave in utter bafflement. Deciding against prying into the second in command's life Todd just shrugged it off.

          Alec ran all the way from radioactive to Joshua's studio near to the cafeteria. The familiar smell of pain filled his nostrils as the upset transgenic barged in. Joshua turned around just as Alec took a step into the artist's apartment.

        "Why you here medium fella?" The friendly giant asked innocently.

        " I gotta ask you something Josh." Alec said slightly out of breath.

         " What is it?" The dog man asked waving his pain brush around in the air splattering green pain all over the mess studio.

           " Josh do you think I have a thing for Max?" Alec asked his big friend. The lovable dog man tilted his head to one side as if studying the smaller man.

           "What do you think?" He replied after some though. " I can't tell you that is your hearts job." The dog man answers thoughtfully.

            " I don't know if my heart works any more big fella." Alec looks sadly at the floor remembering his first love Rachel. " And I'm not sure I want it to."

              " It hurts but you have to move on to." The big guy says looking back at his painting.  Alec knows that Joshua also lost his love and can see what he means. For some reason it's easier to believe some thing some one says who has actually gone through what you have. Alec sighs deeply.

               " Your right." He admits.

               "So," Joshua prompts, " Do medium fella's heart tell?"

               " I don't know." Alec answers rubbing the bridge of his nose. " I don't know what it says any more. I haven't know for a long time." 

A/N: So how did you like it? I know it didn't tell you much but… there is always next time. Sooo… please review!