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This is the way "Order of the Phoenix" should have ended. I don't know how long this will be…just R&R and if you like it, I'll keep going.
PS: I own this alternate ending. JKR owns the "real" ending and the characters.
I'm summarizing, so don't worry!
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Starts around Chapter 26 in OotP
Harry was surrounded by his fellow Gryffindors in the Great Hall for dinner. Harry was excited because he had just given an interview to Rita Skeeter about his last meeting with Voldemort, which was to appear in The Quibbler.
"Can't wait to see what Umbridge thinks of you going public," said Dean. Seamus was being a butt-hole, acting like he wasn't paying attention. Everyone knew he was and that's what made everyone hate him.
"You rock, Harry!" said Neville.
Harry and Hermione were waiting for Ron, who had not returned from Quidditch practice yet. Harry was still P.O.'ed that he was kicked off the Quidditch team. But he was happy that Malfoy was in a serious coma. Cho Chang just entered the hall with her good-for-nothing friend Marietta.
"Oh, I forgot to ask you," said Hermione, looking at Cho, "how was you date?"
Harry gulped. "Well, you know how these things are," Harry said in his most macho voice, "she was obviously hung up on Cedric and she was always crying. So I told her it wouldn't work out." Harry hoped that Hermione wouldn't catch on to his fake macho-ness.
Not only did Hermione notice, but she cracked up laughing. "Yeah right Harry! In your dreams!"
At this moment, Ron and Ginny enter the hall.
"How was practice?" asked Harry. He was expecting Ron to say, "Oh, nothing without you, Master of Quidditch…" But he didn't.
"It was bloody awesome! And so was I!" exclaimed Ron. "Angelina said that I'm on my way to becoming captain!"
"Oh…that's great Ron," said Harry, fighting back tears.
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Finally, the day had arrived! Harry was now a bona-fide tabloid star!! The HP edition of The Quibbler sold like hotcakes.
"It's good, isn't it?" said Luna, who was now standing behind Harry.
"Yeah, it's great, but –"
"But what?" asked Luna.
"—but where on earth did they find this picture of me? I look so fat!"
By now, Professor Umbridge was standing behind Harry, reading all of his mail.
"Where on earth did all this come from?" she asked in her stupid voice.
Harry replied very slowly: "I gave an interview (he gestured writing on a piece of paper) to The Quibbler (holding up The Quibbler) about Voldemort (touching his scar) and how he is back."
"How dare you…." yelled Professor Umbridge. But before she could finish, he, Hermione, Ron, George, Ginny, Seamus, Dean, and Neville, stood up and looked her in the face.
George pointed and yelled, "Hey, what's going on over there?"
When "Dumbridge" looked, they all pushed her over Fred, who was kneeling right behind her legs. They all jumped on her while Harry, Hermione, and Ron ran for it. The gang tied her up to a chair and locked her in the Chamber of Secrets. Whoops…no more Professor Dumbridge.
The first thing out of Fred and George's mouths as they high-fived each other: "Score! Quidditch! Let's go tell Harry!"
