Chapter 4
Jack was harvesting the last of his tomatoes, corn, pumpkin, and onions when Popuri comes over.
Popuri: Jack, I heard rumors spreading like wildfire.
Jack: If it's about the one with me sleeping with Ann it isn't true.
Popuri: What? I was talking about another killer is around.
Jack: As if it isn't obvious who it is.
Popuri: You know what I also heard?
Jack: If it's about the one with me sleeping with Karen it isn't true.
Popuri: No, it's about the old Mayor escaping too.
Jack: So what? It aint like he is going to hurt us. Yet. (Laughs)
Popuri: You know what I also heard?
Jack: If it's about the one with me sleeping with Popuri it isn't true.
Popuri: Uh Jack.
Jack: What?
Popuri: I AM POPURI DUMBASS!
Jack: Really? How's every little thing?
Popuri: What a dumbass.
Back at the sprite house, a new harvest sprite joins the group. His name is Steve and he sits in the room with Chef.
Chef: Hey son, what are you doing?
Steve: nothing, you?
Chef: Just smokin....
Steve: Is that all you do?
Chef: No way, I once sent a letter to be a contestant on Jeopardy.
Steve: Uh that's a show with somebody with brains.
Chef: I have a brain.
Steve: Or what's left of it.
Chef: Ill kick your ass son, I'm the one who let you in here.
Steve: I'm just saying you won't get on the show, so don't check the mail everyday.
Chef: I was on TV before.
Steve: What? Americas most wanted? Buddum.
Chef: Nope....Americas most stoned.
Steve: Interesting. Buddum.
(Looks outside)
Chef: MAILMAN!!!!
Mailman: What the.?
Chef: (jumps on the mailman and tears the bag apart and gets all of his mail)
Chef: Sorry 'bout that.
Mailman: You're an animal!
Steve: What is it? A pink slip? Jury Duty? Buddum.
Chef: Would you stop that?
Steve: What? Buddum.
Chef: That annoying word you make at the end of every sentence.
Steve: What do you mean? Buddum.
Chef: What you just did!
Steve: What? Buddum.
Chef: You did it again!
Steve: Oh you mean Buddum.
Steve: The Buddum noise?
Steve: Buddum?
Chef: Shut the fuck up!
(Throws Steve out the window)
Chickens cluck all over the chicken ranch where Rick and Popuri stand. They are outside the house by the river standing next to the fence.
Rick: If those chickens don't stop that noise I'll kill em!
Popuri: If you don't stop being an ass I'll kill you!
Rick: That stupid Kai has been messing with your head again.
Popuri: You're such a dimwit.
Rick: What did you call me?
Popuri: A d-i-m-w-i-t
Rick: I can spell bitch.
Popuri: What did you call me?
Rick: A B-I-T-C-H.
Popuri: (Crying) I'm telling mom!
Rick: No wait!
(Rick tries to stop her and Popuri in rage pushes Rick over the fence and he lands in the river and floats downward)
Rick: Help! I can't swim!
Popuri: Oh shut up you pussy.
(Kai stands in his beach house and looks out at the beach at night time)
Kai: So beautiful.
(The phone rings)
Kai: Hello?
Killer: Hey Kai.
Killer: What are yoooooooooouuu doing?
Kai: That's old, the new thing is WAAAAZZZUUUPPP.
Killer: WAAAAZZZUUUPPP
Kai: That's getting really old though.
Killer: What's your favorite scary movie?
Kai: I watch romance.
Killer: Really?
Kai: Yeah. It's great how I play Popuri like dirt. I date all the girls Fool. I'm a lover not a hater.
(Killer hangs up)
Kai: Hello?
(Zach the shipper comes out)
Zach: Who were you talking to?
Kai: Someone on the phone.
Zach: Ah okay. Ill head back now.
Meanwhile.
Lilia: Have you seen Rick lately?
Popuri: Nope.
Lilia: Where could he be?
Popuri: Probably getting wasted, going to strip clubs, breaking the law. the normal.
Lilia: Okay, as long as he is enjoying himself.
Popuri: Kai is coming in a few minutes!
Lilia: Really?
Popuri: Yeah I can't wait (Smirks)
(There is a knock at the door)
Popuri: That must be him! (Goes to answer door)
?????: WAAAAZZZUUUPPP
(Popuri screams and the man takes off the scream mask)
Popuri: Kai? You scarred the living shit out of me.
Kai: (Laughs hysterically)
Popuri: It's not funny you ass.
Kai: Sorry.
Lilia: I am going to church. Popuri you coming?
Popuri: (Smirks) No mom I am staying here.
Lilia: Suit yourself.
Meanwhile, Popuri and Kai are sitting alone in the house watching TV.
Kai: Where are you going?
Popuri: To get some popcorn.
Kai: Yeah you can't watch without popcorn.
Popuri: No, you can't.
As Popuri Leaves Kai trashes the house and then Popuri returns with the popcorn.
Popuri: What the fuck happened?
Kai: The killer tried to kill me!
Popuri: He tried to kill you?
Kai: YES I SWEAR!
Popuri: Oh my god!
Kai: What are we going to do?
Popuri: Maybe you should stay here tonight.
Kai: Yeah...maybe ill get some action hehe.
(Popuri slaps him)
Popuri: You set this whole damn thing up didn't you?
Kai: No I swear I didn't!
Popuri: That's it I'm going over to Jack's.
Kai: But.I was the one that almost got killed.
Popuri: But you set the whole thing up and don't say you didn't because I know you did.
Popuri Leaves.
Kai: Goddamn it I almost had her. If I would of just kept my mouth shut.
At the vineyard...
Duke: What are we going to do?
Mana: We are keeping this place until they burn it down, and if they do I'm going with it!
Duke: Mana please!
Duke: Get in here!
Duke: MANA!!
(There is a knock at the door)
Mana: (Opens the door and slams it in the killers face)
Duke: Your being crazy Mana!
Mana: I'm not surrendering!
(She puts on an army helmet and looks out the window at the killer)
Mana: YOU WANT SOME MORE!!!??
Mana: YOU WANT SOME MORE OF ME?!!!?!?!
Mana: HAD ENOUGH WOMAN!?
Duke: Mana you are a woman.
Mana: Shut the hell up for five minutes I'm not going to take your Shit much longer.
Duke: What are you going to do? Throw me out?
(Duke lands outside getting dirt all over himself)
Duke: DAMN YOU!!!
Popuri stands in front of Jack's house. She looks for a while, and some more, and then she gets hit by a cow.
Jack: Did you hear something?
Jack: Let me go have a look. (Walks outside)
Jack: Hey, Popuri are you alright?
Popuri: Yeah I just wasn't looking. That fuckin thing just hit me that's all.
Jack: Alright don't disturb me like that.
Popuri: I am sorry. Jack can I talk to you? (Jack goes inside)
Popuri: Jack? (she walks in behind him).
Popuri: JACK!!!! OH MY GOD!!!
(Popuri watches Jack and Chef smoke drugs on the couch and they laugh)
Popuri: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Chef: Puffin, want some? AHAHAHA
Jack: AAAHHAHA that was a good one.
Popuri: What are you doing?
Jack: Shootin a roll, you know what I mean? HEHEHE
Chef: Ohh that's some funny shit. Well my head hurts I'm going home.
Jack: Same time tomorrow?
Chef: Hell no, I'll be back tonight!
Jack: That's the spirit!
Popuri: Jack, I have something to confess.
Popuri: Something serious.
Jack: Go ahead, I probably won't remember by tomorrow ahaha.
Popuri: I think I killed Rick.
Jack: And I met the pope what's your point?
Popuri: Ok... I'll be leaving now then.
Jack: Come back soon! EHAHAHA.
(Popuri leaves and Jack looks around)
Jack: Damn I ran out.
A group of people gather around in the town center to hear the mayor.
Mayor: As you all know, there was a terrible tragedy.
Elli: What happened?
Mayor: We found Rick's body in the river, dead.
Popuri: ....oooops.....
Mayor: It looks like a suicide.
Mayor: Well, you know....shit happens; I'm going to the bar.
Basil: Hell yeah!
(They all run to the bar)
Jack was harvesting the last of his tomatoes, corn, pumpkin, and onions when Popuri comes over.
Popuri: Jack, I heard rumors spreading like wildfire.
Jack: If it's about the one with me sleeping with Ann it isn't true.
Popuri: What? I was talking about another killer is around.
Jack: As if it isn't obvious who it is.
Popuri: You know what I also heard?
Jack: If it's about the one with me sleeping with Karen it isn't true.
Popuri: No, it's about the old Mayor escaping too.
Jack: So what? It aint like he is going to hurt us. Yet. (Laughs)
Popuri: You know what I also heard?
Jack: If it's about the one with me sleeping with Popuri it isn't true.
Popuri: Uh Jack.
Jack: What?
Popuri: I AM POPURI DUMBASS!
Jack: Really? How's every little thing?
Popuri: What a dumbass.
Back at the sprite house, a new harvest sprite joins the group. His name is Steve and he sits in the room with Chef.
Chef: Hey son, what are you doing?
Steve: nothing, you?
Chef: Just smokin....
Steve: Is that all you do?
Chef: No way, I once sent a letter to be a contestant on Jeopardy.
Steve: Uh that's a show with somebody with brains.
Chef: I have a brain.
Steve: Or what's left of it.
Chef: Ill kick your ass son, I'm the one who let you in here.
Steve: I'm just saying you won't get on the show, so don't check the mail everyday.
Chef: I was on TV before.
Steve: What? Americas most wanted? Buddum.
Chef: Nope....Americas most stoned.
Steve: Interesting. Buddum.
(Looks outside)
Chef: MAILMAN!!!!
Mailman: What the.?
Chef: (jumps on the mailman and tears the bag apart and gets all of his mail)
Chef: Sorry 'bout that.
Mailman: You're an animal!
Steve: What is it? A pink slip? Jury Duty? Buddum.
Chef: Would you stop that?
Steve: What? Buddum.
Chef: That annoying word you make at the end of every sentence.
Steve: What do you mean? Buddum.
Chef: What you just did!
Steve: What? Buddum.
Chef: You did it again!
Steve: Oh you mean Buddum.
Steve: The Buddum noise?
Steve: Buddum?
Chef: Shut the fuck up!
(Throws Steve out the window)
Chickens cluck all over the chicken ranch where Rick and Popuri stand. They are outside the house by the river standing next to the fence.
Rick: If those chickens don't stop that noise I'll kill em!
Popuri: If you don't stop being an ass I'll kill you!
Rick: That stupid Kai has been messing with your head again.
Popuri: You're such a dimwit.
Rick: What did you call me?
Popuri: A d-i-m-w-i-t
Rick: I can spell bitch.
Popuri: What did you call me?
Rick: A B-I-T-C-H.
Popuri: (Crying) I'm telling mom!
Rick: No wait!
(Rick tries to stop her and Popuri in rage pushes Rick over the fence and he lands in the river and floats downward)
Rick: Help! I can't swim!
Popuri: Oh shut up you pussy.
(Kai stands in his beach house and looks out at the beach at night time)
Kai: So beautiful.
(The phone rings)
Kai: Hello?
Killer: Hey Kai.
Killer: What are yoooooooooouuu doing?
Kai: That's old, the new thing is WAAAAZZZUUUPPP.
Killer: WAAAAZZZUUUPPP
Kai: That's getting really old though.
Killer: What's your favorite scary movie?
Kai: I watch romance.
Killer: Really?
Kai: Yeah. It's great how I play Popuri like dirt. I date all the girls Fool. I'm a lover not a hater.
(Killer hangs up)
Kai: Hello?
(Zach the shipper comes out)
Zach: Who were you talking to?
Kai: Someone on the phone.
Zach: Ah okay. Ill head back now.
Meanwhile.
Lilia: Have you seen Rick lately?
Popuri: Nope.
Lilia: Where could he be?
Popuri: Probably getting wasted, going to strip clubs, breaking the law. the normal.
Lilia: Okay, as long as he is enjoying himself.
Popuri: Kai is coming in a few minutes!
Lilia: Really?
Popuri: Yeah I can't wait (Smirks)
(There is a knock at the door)
Popuri: That must be him! (Goes to answer door)
?????: WAAAAZZZUUUPPP
(Popuri screams and the man takes off the scream mask)
Popuri: Kai? You scarred the living shit out of me.
Kai: (Laughs hysterically)
Popuri: It's not funny you ass.
Kai: Sorry.
Lilia: I am going to church. Popuri you coming?
Popuri: (Smirks) No mom I am staying here.
Lilia: Suit yourself.
Meanwhile, Popuri and Kai are sitting alone in the house watching TV.
Kai: Where are you going?
Popuri: To get some popcorn.
Kai: Yeah you can't watch without popcorn.
Popuri: No, you can't.
As Popuri Leaves Kai trashes the house and then Popuri returns with the popcorn.
Popuri: What the fuck happened?
Kai: The killer tried to kill me!
Popuri: He tried to kill you?
Kai: YES I SWEAR!
Popuri: Oh my god!
Kai: What are we going to do?
Popuri: Maybe you should stay here tonight.
Kai: Yeah...maybe ill get some action hehe.
(Popuri slaps him)
Popuri: You set this whole damn thing up didn't you?
Kai: No I swear I didn't!
Popuri: That's it I'm going over to Jack's.
Kai: But.I was the one that almost got killed.
Popuri: But you set the whole thing up and don't say you didn't because I know you did.
Popuri Leaves.
Kai: Goddamn it I almost had her. If I would of just kept my mouth shut.
At the vineyard...
Duke: What are we going to do?
Mana: We are keeping this place until they burn it down, and if they do I'm going with it!
Duke: Mana please!
Duke: Get in here!
Duke: MANA!!
(There is a knock at the door)
Mana: (Opens the door and slams it in the killers face)
Duke: Your being crazy Mana!
Mana: I'm not surrendering!
(She puts on an army helmet and looks out the window at the killer)
Mana: YOU WANT SOME MORE!!!??
Mana: YOU WANT SOME MORE OF ME?!!!?!?!
Mana: HAD ENOUGH WOMAN!?
Duke: Mana you are a woman.
Mana: Shut the hell up for five minutes I'm not going to take your Shit much longer.
Duke: What are you going to do? Throw me out?
(Duke lands outside getting dirt all over himself)
Duke: DAMN YOU!!!
Popuri stands in front of Jack's house. She looks for a while, and some more, and then she gets hit by a cow.
Jack: Did you hear something?
Jack: Let me go have a look. (Walks outside)
Jack: Hey, Popuri are you alright?
Popuri: Yeah I just wasn't looking. That fuckin thing just hit me that's all.
Jack: Alright don't disturb me like that.
Popuri: I am sorry. Jack can I talk to you? (Jack goes inside)
Popuri: Jack? (she walks in behind him).
Popuri: JACK!!!! OH MY GOD!!!
(Popuri watches Jack and Chef smoke drugs on the couch and they laugh)
Popuri: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Chef: Puffin, want some? AHAHAHA
Jack: AAAHHAHA that was a good one.
Popuri: What are you doing?
Jack: Shootin a roll, you know what I mean? HEHEHE
Chef: Ohh that's some funny shit. Well my head hurts I'm going home.
Jack: Same time tomorrow?
Chef: Hell no, I'll be back tonight!
Jack: That's the spirit!
Popuri: Jack, I have something to confess.
Popuri: Something serious.
Jack: Go ahead, I probably won't remember by tomorrow ahaha.
Popuri: I think I killed Rick.
Jack: And I met the pope what's your point?
Popuri: Ok... I'll be leaving now then.
Jack: Come back soon! EHAHAHA.
(Popuri leaves and Jack looks around)
Jack: Damn I ran out.
A group of people gather around in the town center to hear the mayor.
Mayor: As you all know, there was a terrible tragedy.
Elli: What happened?
Mayor: We found Rick's body in the river, dead.
Popuri: ....oooops.....
Mayor: It looks like a suicide.
Mayor: Well, you know....shit happens; I'm going to the bar.
Basil: Hell yeah!
(They all run to the bar)
