CHAPTER ELEVEN
Murdock practically fell from the van and charged into the warehouse.what he felt when he saw the guys sitting up alive and well was indescribable. It was a million feelings all at once.
He was practically crying as he hugged BA and when the big guy told him to get off of him he could have yelled in happiness. Hannibal was next and then Face.
There as so much he wanted to tell them and it was all going to have to wait. But as Stockwell started to talk he felt a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Clearly Stockwell had his own ideas on how things would go and his reasons for wanting the A-Team alive and well were starting to become apparent.
The fact that he was taking the Team to Virginia was like a kick in the teeth. Murdock knew he'd never be able to go to Virginia, not with the way things were, he had a promise to his daughter to keep after all and then there was the situation at the VA. He'd got his friends back only to lose them again, but at least this time they'd be alive and he could contact them if he wanted or needed to.
At first, he thought things were going their way as they went after Curtis' murderer, Ramone Solay, and took him down. But he soon realised that Stockwell wasn't going to let them go that easily.
As they arrived back at the warehouse, he saw three figures get out of a car. 'Is that Katie?' Face asked.
'Yeah.' Murdock could hardly speak.he hadn't had a chance to tell them yet about Megan.
'That Megan with her?' BA asked and Murdock stared at him.
'You know about Megan?'
'We met her just before.' Face trailed off and opened the door as BA brought the van to a stop. His meaning was quite clear but Murdock had no time to wonder why Katie had told his friend's about Megan but hadn't told him because Megan herself threw herself at him and began to hug and kiss him the same way he'd been hugging and kissing BA not half an hour earlier.
'Hey.hey.' He said half-laughing as she buried her head against his shoulder. 'What's this about?'
'You went 'way.' He heard for the first time the hint of how young she was in her voice and tone and realised his mistake. He hadn't said goodbye.
'Sorry Meggie, I didn't mean to just go like that but I didn't have a lot of choice. It's ok.'
She seemed to accept that and her face shone as she caught sight of BA. 'BA!' She stretched out her arms towards him and BA grinned his big teddy bear grin.
'Hey little mama.' He came over, Hannibal and Face with him. Katie and Karen instantly rushed straight to Hannibal and Face and hugged them.
BA held out his arms for Megan and Murdock reluctantly deposited Megan into them. He hugged her gently and grinned again. 'You been a good girl?'
'I'm always good, right Daddy?' She turned to look at Murdock, Katie gasped and Murdock beamed.
'That's right Pumpkin.you are indeed.' He turned to look at Katie and shook his head. He'd explain later.
'She's not going to be crazy like you fool!' BA said and Megan frowned.
'You promised never to call him that again. Crossed your heart and hoped to die.' There was dead silence as Murdock and BA looked at each other. There should have been no way that Murdock had known about BA's 'dream' let alone Megan.
***
Katie opened the door of the apartment; Hannibal, Face, BA and Frankie were on their way to Virginia. Megan was with Karen. Katie had insisted on coming with Murdock for this last task that they had to perform.
Father Selini still lay bound and gagged on the bed. But he was now awake and gazing at them with wise eyes. Murdock released his binds and took an awkward step backward. Katie moved forward to take his place.
'Are you alright Father?'
The old priest smiled and raised a hand to her cheek. 'Merely a knock to the head Daughter, nothing that this tough old priest will not recover from.' There was an unexpected hint of amusement in his tone and in his eyes as he sat up.
'Sorry.' Murdock mumbled.
'If you would like to take the confessional my son, I would hear your sins.'
Murdock shook his head mutely and Katie smiled. 'I don't think you have that much time Father. He'd keep you there for hours. But please, we are sorry that such drastic measures had to be taken, if there had been another way.'
'You need not fear child.your husband is forgiven. A bump on the head is trivial compared to the lives of three innocent men.'
'You knew they were innocent?' Murdock couldn't help himself.
'I did and I prayed for guidance.I was told to wait and it seems that perhaps the Good Lord is owed more credit than I gave him. I trust that the men are safe?'
Katie nodded. 'Well hidden.you won't tell anyone will you?'
The priest smiled and his eyes actually twinkled. 'I saw nothing and nobody.'
Katie returned his smile in kind and the priest looked towards Murdock. 'I trust I have some clothes somewhere?'
'Oh yeah.sorry.' Murdock held out a bundle of clothes. 'We borrowed the spare set in your car.both have been washed.'
'Thank you for the consideration. Now I must leave you young people to your business. You have much to celebrate.' He got to his feet and seemed surprisingly nimble for a man of his age. Murdock didn't seem to remember him being that quick when he'd knocked him on the head.
'I.uh, I'm sorry I hit you.'
Father Selini only smiled and went into the bathroom to change. Katie looked at Murdock and then said, 'He called you my husband.'
Murdock frowned. 'Did he? I didn't really notice.' He looked very thoughtful. 'Do you think he did really know that I was going to be there? He's seems to be moving a lot quicker than I remember him moving before I hit him.'
Katie smiled. 'I get the impression that he was slow on purpose.to make you feel better.'
Murdock nodded. 'I think you're right.' There was silence between them for a few moments and then Father Selini entered the bedroom once more dressed in his priest's attire.
'I will be on my way. I expect to see you at Mass.' Here he looked at Katie who nodded meekly.
'Of course, it's the least I can do.'
Father Selini looked at Murdock. 'Though I expect I won't be seeing much of you, I have a feeling the hospital will be keeping a close eye on you after this.'
Murdock's eyes widened just a little. 'You know who I am?'
The priest laughed and nodded. 'I should think I do. You're the very image of your father, boy.' Here his tone took on an accent that was much more like that of a farmer than of a priest from LA.
Murdock didn't have time to say anything because the man was leaving. He stared after the priest in stunned shock. 'He knew my father? How could he have known my father?'
Katie shrugged. 'You can ask him when you go to Mass.'
'Katie.I can't go.'
'I don't want to hear it! After you knocked him unconscious the least you can do is go along and hear his sermon.'
'And what was all that about him not having time to hear my confession? Face has far more to confess about than I do!'
Katie's lips twisted into a smile. 'Somehow I doubt that.'
He grinned lopsidedly and then shrugged. 'Sooo.' Again the awkward silence reigned but for a moment Katie remembered the touch of his lips on hers.
'I.I guess I'd better go.' It was all she could think of to say. They really should talk but she suddenly didn't want to. He'd ask too many questions, or if he didn't then he might expect her to.
'Oh.sure.' He looked visibly disappointed. 'I was hoping we could talk for a while.'
She hesitated.what harm could it do to talk? There was a lot to talk about, Megan for an example, he'd missed out on her life so far; she thought he'd probably want to know about it, to know about her. And she'd be glad to talk to someone who didn't look down on her because she was a single mother.
She nodded. 'That'd be nice.'
*** Katie awoke; she was lying on her side staring at the door of the bedroom. She slowly became aware that she was naked under the sheets but she couldn't remember what had happened last night no matter how much she tried. On the bedside table were two empty wine glasses.
She had the fright of her life when someone rolled over and buried his face in her hair, sliding an arm around her waist and kissing the nape of her neck. She sensed that he had gone back to sleep but didn't know who it was lying beside her.
Panic gripped her, what had happened last night? A harsh sound replaced the soft sound of the man's breathing. She frowned; she knew that sound. It was the sound of someone snoring.in fact she'd spent nearly three months listening to him snore though he claimed that he never snored. He also claimed that if she wanted to hear someone really snore she should spend a night with BA. She sat bolt upright in bed as she realised who it was in the bed with her. 'MURDOCK!'
He shot up into a sitting position and with his eyes half closed, he tried to look around. 'What? Where? Who?'
Katie blushed; she hadn't meant to yell like that. Murdock managed to force his eyes all the way open and look at her. 'What's wrong?'
'Oh.uh nothing.I uh.ouch.' She put a hand to her head and groaned. 'Why do I get the feeling that somewhere is a guy with an extra large baseball bat looking for me?'
Murdock grinned and shook his head. 'Nope.just god ole Jack Daniels.'
Katie shot a look at the wine glasses by the bed. 'I thought we were drinking wine.'
'We were besides whiskey and vodka.'
'Do you not have a hangover?' It felt as if someone was playing a drum kit inside her head.
'Nope.' He seemed remarkably cheerful considering his rude awakening. 'You didn't know where you were did you?' He also seemed to be feeling well enough to be amused.
She shrugged. 'Didn't really know much. But remind me next time you want to 'talk'. I keep forgetting that in your language that means sex.'
'You didn't have to.' His response was perhaps a little more forceful than he'd intended.
'I think that no escaped my vocabulary after the first Jack Daniels.'
'Yeah, good job I won't be flying anywhere for the next couple of days.'
Katie grabbed her watch and looked at it. 'Crap, I'm late for work.'
'Honey, its Sunday.'
The use of the word honey brought back a thousand memories. She didn't know what to say, it was one word but for some reason it left her speechless.
'I'll go make you a coffee and something to eat.' 'No.no food.'
Murdock smiled. 'Yes, food. Don't argue with me, I don't think you want to greet your rather hyper-active daughter with a hangover.'
'Your hyperactive daughter, her hyper-activeness is all yours, nothing to do with me.'
Murdock beamed. 'Hey.I remember what you were like at three.'
'You didn't know me when I was three.' She slid down under the covers and he stroked her hair tenderly.
'You sleep for a while; I'll wake you up in a little bit.'
***
It was in fact a full hour before he woke her and dragged her to the table for breakfast. She managed to put down at least half a plateful and with that he had to be satisfied. After they'd cleaned up they went back to Katie's house and there a rather bouncy Megan hugged them both.
Murdock spent the whole day playing with Megan and was constantly surprised by her intelligent mind. She was very clever for her age and it was obvious that Katie was very proud of her. She seemed to accept the fact that he was her father as if she'd always known it, she didn't even ask him why he hadn't been around for the last three years but he supposed that those questions would come later when she was older.
Finally, he had to say goodbye to both her and Katie. He had to go back to the VA, they'd be out looking for him and it would be only a matter of time before he was found. Better to be back on his terms not theirs.
Megan hugged him very tightly and told him that he had to come back and see her. He promised he would and then Katie hugged him too. He held her for a long moment, determined to make that moment last as long as he could. He took in her and Megan and fixed them in his mind so that he could recall it any time like a photograph.
He kissed Katie's cheek, ruffled Megan's hair and then made himself turn and walk down the path. He hadn't got very far before Megan threw herself at his legs sobbing. He picked her up and cuddled her. 'Hey.I'm comin' back.' He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.
She sniffled against his neck and nodded. He held out his little finger. 'Pinkie?' She held out her pinkie and linked it through his and they shook. 'There.now I have to come back. Can't break a Pinkie Promise.'
She nodded sombrely. 'I'll miss you.'
'I'll miss you too Pumpkin. Be a good girl for your Momma, I'll be back real soon.' He walked back to Katie and handed Megan to her. He could see the tears in her eyes and reached up to touch her cheek. 'Take care of her for me Katie.'
It felt very much like goodbye but Katie nodded.she couldn't find words to say anything. When he turned away and walked down the road, it was without interruption and Katie watched him go until she could no longer see his retreating back.
*** Katie was woken three nights later by the sound of her door opening. She sat up and reached for the light. Murdock stood there squinting against the sudden brightness.
'Murdock! You scared the living daylights out of me! What are you doing here?'
He came over to the side of the bed and sat on it.there was a feverish light in his eyes and she was worried for a moment. 'I've left the VA.'
'What?' The statement shocked her though she should have realised that this was coming.
'I've left the VA.I'm going to Virginia.'
She felt a sudden coldness in the pit of her stomach. 'I.I don't think I understand.'
'I'm going to Virginia to be with the guys.'
She stared at him and anger suddenly filled her. 'And what about Megan? Or have you forgotten the promise that you made to your daughter?'
'Of course I haven't.' Again, she saw that light in his eyes and a sense of apprehension filled her. 'You're coming with me.'
This time she didn't even bother ask, she just stared at him dumbly. 'You and Megan.you're coming with me to Virginia.' He repeated.
She put a hand to her head.it was too early in the morning for this. 'Murdock.'
'I know, I know, I don't have a job or a place but it won't be that hard. I can get a job.I'll provide for both of you, you don't need to worry about that.'
She shook her head. 'No.'
Now it was his turned to look shocked. 'What?' He hadn't been expecting this. 'What do you mean no?'
'I mean no, I can't go with you to Virginia.'
'Why not?'
'Because you haven't thought this through that's why! It's not easy getting a place or a job, I should know. I can't just go; my job is here for a start.'
'So you can get a new one in Virginia.'
'Right and who's going to look after Megan?'
'We'll work that out when we get there.'
'Murdock.you know nothing about kids at all do you? I can't just uproot Megan from LA, she's settled here. She's not a dog or a cat; we can't just plonk her down in another place and expect her to adjust. It doesn't work like that. She needs stability and I need to put her first.'
'I know but she'll get used to it. She'll love it there; it's a great place to bring up kids, all clean and fresh air. Not like here.'
'Murdock.I can't afford to just move to Virginia on a whim.'
'It's not a whim and you don't have to worry about money.I already said, I'll provide for you both.'
Her temper snapped. 'No.I don't think you're getting it! You've been in the VA for what? Ten, fifteen years now? You can't expect to just walk into a job; you have no concept of what it's like in the real world. All you have is snatches of time when the guys broke you out. There is no way they'll give a job to a former mental patient who could possibly be dangerous!'
She saw from his face that he was deeply hurt by that remark but she was just too annoyed by the child-like attitude he had toward this whole thing. His head was up in the clouds thinking of the perfect life, she knew that there was no such thing.
He nodded and stood up. 'Ok.I guess I have your answer then.' He turned and walked from the room, ignoring her as she called after him.
He went into Megan's room and stood looking down at her for a long time. He could feel tears in his eyes, he didn't want to leave her but he couldn't stay here. Not with the guys in Virginia, his whole life for fifteen years had centred around them; they were all he knew. Part of him knew that he should stay here and make a life with Katie but he couldn't do that either. The VA would be looking for him, he was going to tell the team that they'd let him go, found him sane but in truth all it had been was a desperate escape attempt in the middle of the night. Nothing new, he'd been doing it for years and somehow he'd known that one-day he'd be escaping and never going back.
Megan rolled over in her sleep and knocked her teddy bear onto the floor. He bent and picked it up, laying it on the bed. Her small chubby arms closed round it and she drew it to her chest. He reached out and smoothed her hair lovingly. This would be the hardest thing, knowing that he was walking out on her; of course he'd keep in touch and make sure he saw her often but it wasn't the same. She'd probably never forgive him.
He leaned down and put a kiss on her forehead. 'I love you sweetheart.' As he straightened up, he sensed a presence behind him. Turning he saw Katie standing in the doorway. Silently he moved out of the room and into the hallway. It was cold out here but he didn't care. 'Please.it's not too late to change your mind.'
She shook her head. 'I can't Murdock. I just can't.'
He nodded and pulled her to him crushing her against his chest. 'I'll call or write once I've got a place.send you some money.'
'You don't need to do that.'
'Yes I do.look, once I've got a job and a place; promise me that you'll consider it then.'
She pulled back a little so that she could look up at him. 'Ok.I'll consider it but it's a big step, you have to understand that.'
He did understand, he was asking her to just up and leave everything behind. He could see why she was reluctant. If nothing else, this place was, the only thing she had left that connected her to her father, besides him that was. 'I do, I'm sorry I was so narrow-minded.'
'You weren't narrow-minded. I'm sorry I was so mean; I didn't mean that, you know, about them not giving you a job. I'm sure they will but.you gotta understand it probably won't be a pilot's job.'
'I know.' He said quietly and then she realised why it was that he was going, why he couldn't stay.
'Oh.' She whispered. 'So that's it. It's not just about being near them is it? Without them you can't fly can you?'
He looked down at her and shook his head mutely. She tightened her arms around him. 'I'm sorry. I know how important that is to you.' She laughed a little. 'Hey, you're not the only one hell-bent on flying, looks like Megan's inherited that. You'll never guess what she did the other day, she jumped out of a tree, she was trying to fly, scared the life out of me.'
Murdock stared at her wordlessly. 'What?' She asked concerned.
'Are you serious?'
'Yeah.what's wrong?'
'I did that. When I was five or six I jumped out of tree trying to fly.' His eyes were far away and then a smile touched his lips and he chuckled. 'That's my girl. One day I'll teach her how to fly properly.'
Katie smiled. 'She really is like you.' Then her smiled faded. 'What will you tell them?'
'That they let me go; I won't tell them the truth. They might make me go back.'
'I doubt that Murdock, I think they'd understand of all people.'
He shrugged. 'If they don't, Stockwell will, he might do it anyway.'
'Good luck.' She whispered, she didn't ask when he was going; she knew it would have to be tonight. 'Do you need a car?'
'No.I've got one. I'll be ok.'
She hugged him again. 'Just.if you need to talk I'm a phone call away.'
'Thanks.' He kissed her gently. 'I love you, don't forget that.'
'Murdock.don't.don't say it.' She knew she wouldn't be able to stand it if she had to hear him say goodbye.
He nodded and kissed her forehead, holding her close so that he could memorise the smell and feel of her. He wanted to take her back to bed but he knew if he did, he wouldn't leave and then he might be found. Reluctantly, he removed her arms from around his waist and turned away. It was the second time in a week that he'd walked away from her and it seemed to get harder each time.
As he walked down the stairs he knew that something new was beginning, for the first time in a very long time, he would have a life, a normal, grown- up life. That prospect scared him more than he would ever admit.
Murdock practically fell from the van and charged into the warehouse.what he felt when he saw the guys sitting up alive and well was indescribable. It was a million feelings all at once.
He was practically crying as he hugged BA and when the big guy told him to get off of him he could have yelled in happiness. Hannibal was next and then Face.
There as so much he wanted to tell them and it was all going to have to wait. But as Stockwell started to talk he felt a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Clearly Stockwell had his own ideas on how things would go and his reasons for wanting the A-Team alive and well were starting to become apparent.
The fact that he was taking the Team to Virginia was like a kick in the teeth. Murdock knew he'd never be able to go to Virginia, not with the way things were, he had a promise to his daughter to keep after all and then there was the situation at the VA. He'd got his friends back only to lose them again, but at least this time they'd be alive and he could contact them if he wanted or needed to.
At first, he thought things were going their way as they went after Curtis' murderer, Ramone Solay, and took him down. But he soon realised that Stockwell wasn't going to let them go that easily.
As they arrived back at the warehouse, he saw three figures get out of a car. 'Is that Katie?' Face asked.
'Yeah.' Murdock could hardly speak.he hadn't had a chance to tell them yet about Megan.
'That Megan with her?' BA asked and Murdock stared at him.
'You know about Megan?'
'We met her just before.' Face trailed off and opened the door as BA brought the van to a stop. His meaning was quite clear but Murdock had no time to wonder why Katie had told his friend's about Megan but hadn't told him because Megan herself threw herself at him and began to hug and kiss him the same way he'd been hugging and kissing BA not half an hour earlier.
'Hey.hey.' He said half-laughing as she buried her head against his shoulder. 'What's this about?'
'You went 'way.' He heard for the first time the hint of how young she was in her voice and tone and realised his mistake. He hadn't said goodbye.
'Sorry Meggie, I didn't mean to just go like that but I didn't have a lot of choice. It's ok.'
She seemed to accept that and her face shone as she caught sight of BA. 'BA!' She stretched out her arms towards him and BA grinned his big teddy bear grin.
'Hey little mama.' He came over, Hannibal and Face with him. Katie and Karen instantly rushed straight to Hannibal and Face and hugged them.
BA held out his arms for Megan and Murdock reluctantly deposited Megan into them. He hugged her gently and grinned again. 'You been a good girl?'
'I'm always good, right Daddy?' She turned to look at Murdock, Katie gasped and Murdock beamed.
'That's right Pumpkin.you are indeed.' He turned to look at Katie and shook his head. He'd explain later.
'She's not going to be crazy like you fool!' BA said and Megan frowned.
'You promised never to call him that again. Crossed your heart and hoped to die.' There was dead silence as Murdock and BA looked at each other. There should have been no way that Murdock had known about BA's 'dream' let alone Megan.
***
Katie opened the door of the apartment; Hannibal, Face, BA and Frankie were on their way to Virginia. Megan was with Karen. Katie had insisted on coming with Murdock for this last task that they had to perform.
Father Selini still lay bound and gagged on the bed. But he was now awake and gazing at them with wise eyes. Murdock released his binds and took an awkward step backward. Katie moved forward to take his place.
'Are you alright Father?'
The old priest smiled and raised a hand to her cheek. 'Merely a knock to the head Daughter, nothing that this tough old priest will not recover from.' There was an unexpected hint of amusement in his tone and in his eyes as he sat up.
'Sorry.' Murdock mumbled.
'If you would like to take the confessional my son, I would hear your sins.'
Murdock shook his head mutely and Katie smiled. 'I don't think you have that much time Father. He'd keep you there for hours. But please, we are sorry that such drastic measures had to be taken, if there had been another way.'
'You need not fear child.your husband is forgiven. A bump on the head is trivial compared to the lives of three innocent men.'
'You knew they were innocent?' Murdock couldn't help himself.
'I did and I prayed for guidance.I was told to wait and it seems that perhaps the Good Lord is owed more credit than I gave him. I trust that the men are safe?'
Katie nodded. 'Well hidden.you won't tell anyone will you?'
The priest smiled and his eyes actually twinkled. 'I saw nothing and nobody.'
Katie returned his smile in kind and the priest looked towards Murdock. 'I trust I have some clothes somewhere?'
'Oh yeah.sorry.' Murdock held out a bundle of clothes. 'We borrowed the spare set in your car.both have been washed.'
'Thank you for the consideration. Now I must leave you young people to your business. You have much to celebrate.' He got to his feet and seemed surprisingly nimble for a man of his age. Murdock didn't seem to remember him being that quick when he'd knocked him on the head.
'I.uh, I'm sorry I hit you.'
Father Selini only smiled and went into the bathroom to change. Katie looked at Murdock and then said, 'He called you my husband.'
Murdock frowned. 'Did he? I didn't really notice.' He looked very thoughtful. 'Do you think he did really know that I was going to be there? He's seems to be moving a lot quicker than I remember him moving before I hit him.'
Katie smiled. 'I get the impression that he was slow on purpose.to make you feel better.'
Murdock nodded. 'I think you're right.' There was silence between them for a few moments and then Father Selini entered the bedroom once more dressed in his priest's attire.
'I will be on my way. I expect to see you at Mass.' Here he looked at Katie who nodded meekly.
'Of course, it's the least I can do.'
Father Selini looked at Murdock. 'Though I expect I won't be seeing much of you, I have a feeling the hospital will be keeping a close eye on you after this.'
Murdock's eyes widened just a little. 'You know who I am?'
The priest laughed and nodded. 'I should think I do. You're the very image of your father, boy.' Here his tone took on an accent that was much more like that of a farmer than of a priest from LA.
Murdock didn't have time to say anything because the man was leaving. He stared after the priest in stunned shock. 'He knew my father? How could he have known my father?'
Katie shrugged. 'You can ask him when you go to Mass.'
'Katie.I can't go.'
'I don't want to hear it! After you knocked him unconscious the least you can do is go along and hear his sermon.'
'And what was all that about him not having time to hear my confession? Face has far more to confess about than I do!'
Katie's lips twisted into a smile. 'Somehow I doubt that.'
He grinned lopsidedly and then shrugged. 'Sooo.' Again the awkward silence reigned but for a moment Katie remembered the touch of his lips on hers.
'I.I guess I'd better go.' It was all she could think of to say. They really should talk but she suddenly didn't want to. He'd ask too many questions, or if he didn't then he might expect her to.
'Oh.sure.' He looked visibly disappointed. 'I was hoping we could talk for a while.'
She hesitated.what harm could it do to talk? There was a lot to talk about, Megan for an example, he'd missed out on her life so far; she thought he'd probably want to know about it, to know about her. And she'd be glad to talk to someone who didn't look down on her because she was a single mother.
She nodded. 'That'd be nice.'
*** Katie awoke; she was lying on her side staring at the door of the bedroom. She slowly became aware that she was naked under the sheets but she couldn't remember what had happened last night no matter how much she tried. On the bedside table were two empty wine glasses.
She had the fright of her life when someone rolled over and buried his face in her hair, sliding an arm around her waist and kissing the nape of her neck. She sensed that he had gone back to sleep but didn't know who it was lying beside her.
Panic gripped her, what had happened last night? A harsh sound replaced the soft sound of the man's breathing. She frowned; she knew that sound. It was the sound of someone snoring.in fact she'd spent nearly three months listening to him snore though he claimed that he never snored. He also claimed that if she wanted to hear someone really snore she should spend a night with BA. She sat bolt upright in bed as she realised who it was in the bed with her. 'MURDOCK!'
He shot up into a sitting position and with his eyes half closed, he tried to look around. 'What? Where? Who?'
Katie blushed; she hadn't meant to yell like that. Murdock managed to force his eyes all the way open and look at her. 'What's wrong?'
'Oh.uh nothing.I uh.ouch.' She put a hand to her head and groaned. 'Why do I get the feeling that somewhere is a guy with an extra large baseball bat looking for me?'
Murdock grinned and shook his head. 'Nope.just god ole Jack Daniels.'
Katie shot a look at the wine glasses by the bed. 'I thought we were drinking wine.'
'We were besides whiskey and vodka.'
'Do you not have a hangover?' It felt as if someone was playing a drum kit inside her head.
'Nope.' He seemed remarkably cheerful considering his rude awakening. 'You didn't know where you were did you?' He also seemed to be feeling well enough to be amused.
She shrugged. 'Didn't really know much. But remind me next time you want to 'talk'. I keep forgetting that in your language that means sex.'
'You didn't have to.' His response was perhaps a little more forceful than he'd intended.
'I think that no escaped my vocabulary after the first Jack Daniels.'
'Yeah, good job I won't be flying anywhere for the next couple of days.'
Katie grabbed her watch and looked at it. 'Crap, I'm late for work.'
'Honey, its Sunday.'
The use of the word honey brought back a thousand memories. She didn't know what to say, it was one word but for some reason it left her speechless.
'I'll go make you a coffee and something to eat.' 'No.no food.'
Murdock smiled. 'Yes, food. Don't argue with me, I don't think you want to greet your rather hyper-active daughter with a hangover.'
'Your hyperactive daughter, her hyper-activeness is all yours, nothing to do with me.'
Murdock beamed. 'Hey.I remember what you were like at three.'
'You didn't know me when I was three.' She slid down under the covers and he stroked her hair tenderly.
'You sleep for a while; I'll wake you up in a little bit.'
***
It was in fact a full hour before he woke her and dragged her to the table for breakfast. She managed to put down at least half a plateful and with that he had to be satisfied. After they'd cleaned up they went back to Katie's house and there a rather bouncy Megan hugged them both.
Murdock spent the whole day playing with Megan and was constantly surprised by her intelligent mind. She was very clever for her age and it was obvious that Katie was very proud of her. She seemed to accept the fact that he was her father as if she'd always known it, she didn't even ask him why he hadn't been around for the last three years but he supposed that those questions would come later when she was older.
Finally, he had to say goodbye to both her and Katie. He had to go back to the VA, they'd be out looking for him and it would be only a matter of time before he was found. Better to be back on his terms not theirs.
Megan hugged him very tightly and told him that he had to come back and see her. He promised he would and then Katie hugged him too. He held her for a long moment, determined to make that moment last as long as he could. He took in her and Megan and fixed them in his mind so that he could recall it any time like a photograph.
He kissed Katie's cheek, ruffled Megan's hair and then made himself turn and walk down the path. He hadn't got very far before Megan threw herself at his legs sobbing. He picked her up and cuddled her. 'Hey.I'm comin' back.' He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.
She sniffled against his neck and nodded. He held out his little finger. 'Pinkie?' She held out her pinkie and linked it through his and they shook. 'There.now I have to come back. Can't break a Pinkie Promise.'
She nodded sombrely. 'I'll miss you.'
'I'll miss you too Pumpkin. Be a good girl for your Momma, I'll be back real soon.' He walked back to Katie and handed Megan to her. He could see the tears in her eyes and reached up to touch her cheek. 'Take care of her for me Katie.'
It felt very much like goodbye but Katie nodded.she couldn't find words to say anything. When he turned away and walked down the road, it was without interruption and Katie watched him go until she could no longer see his retreating back.
*** Katie was woken three nights later by the sound of her door opening. She sat up and reached for the light. Murdock stood there squinting against the sudden brightness.
'Murdock! You scared the living daylights out of me! What are you doing here?'
He came over to the side of the bed and sat on it.there was a feverish light in his eyes and she was worried for a moment. 'I've left the VA.'
'What?' The statement shocked her though she should have realised that this was coming.
'I've left the VA.I'm going to Virginia.'
She felt a sudden coldness in the pit of her stomach. 'I.I don't think I understand.'
'I'm going to Virginia to be with the guys.'
She stared at him and anger suddenly filled her. 'And what about Megan? Or have you forgotten the promise that you made to your daughter?'
'Of course I haven't.' Again, she saw that light in his eyes and a sense of apprehension filled her. 'You're coming with me.'
This time she didn't even bother ask, she just stared at him dumbly. 'You and Megan.you're coming with me to Virginia.' He repeated.
She put a hand to her head.it was too early in the morning for this. 'Murdock.'
'I know, I know, I don't have a job or a place but it won't be that hard. I can get a job.I'll provide for both of you, you don't need to worry about that.'
She shook her head. 'No.'
Now it was his turned to look shocked. 'What?' He hadn't been expecting this. 'What do you mean no?'
'I mean no, I can't go with you to Virginia.'
'Why not?'
'Because you haven't thought this through that's why! It's not easy getting a place or a job, I should know. I can't just go; my job is here for a start.'
'So you can get a new one in Virginia.'
'Right and who's going to look after Megan?'
'We'll work that out when we get there.'
'Murdock.you know nothing about kids at all do you? I can't just uproot Megan from LA, she's settled here. She's not a dog or a cat; we can't just plonk her down in another place and expect her to adjust. It doesn't work like that. She needs stability and I need to put her first.'
'I know but she'll get used to it. She'll love it there; it's a great place to bring up kids, all clean and fresh air. Not like here.'
'Murdock.I can't afford to just move to Virginia on a whim.'
'It's not a whim and you don't have to worry about money.I already said, I'll provide for you both.'
Her temper snapped. 'No.I don't think you're getting it! You've been in the VA for what? Ten, fifteen years now? You can't expect to just walk into a job; you have no concept of what it's like in the real world. All you have is snatches of time when the guys broke you out. There is no way they'll give a job to a former mental patient who could possibly be dangerous!'
She saw from his face that he was deeply hurt by that remark but she was just too annoyed by the child-like attitude he had toward this whole thing. His head was up in the clouds thinking of the perfect life, she knew that there was no such thing.
He nodded and stood up. 'Ok.I guess I have your answer then.' He turned and walked from the room, ignoring her as she called after him.
He went into Megan's room and stood looking down at her for a long time. He could feel tears in his eyes, he didn't want to leave her but he couldn't stay here. Not with the guys in Virginia, his whole life for fifteen years had centred around them; they were all he knew. Part of him knew that he should stay here and make a life with Katie but he couldn't do that either. The VA would be looking for him, he was going to tell the team that they'd let him go, found him sane but in truth all it had been was a desperate escape attempt in the middle of the night. Nothing new, he'd been doing it for years and somehow he'd known that one-day he'd be escaping and never going back.
Megan rolled over in her sleep and knocked her teddy bear onto the floor. He bent and picked it up, laying it on the bed. Her small chubby arms closed round it and she drew it to her chest. He reached out and smoothed her hair lovingly. This would be the hardest thing, knowing that he was walking out on her; of course he'd keep in touch and make sure he saw her often but it wasn't the same. She'd probably never forgive him.
He leaned down and put a kiss on her forehead. 'I love you sweetheart.' As he straightened up, he sensed a presence behind him. Turning he saw Katie standing in the doorway. Silently he moved out of the room and into the hallway. It was cold out here but he didn't care. 'Please.it's not too late to change your mind.'
She shook her head. 'I can't Murdock. I just can't.'
He nodded and pulled her to him crushing her against his chest. 'I'll call or write once I've got a place.send you some money.'
'You don't need to do that.'
'Yes I do.look, once I've got a job and a place; promise me that you'll consider it then.'
She pulled back a little so that she could look up at him. 'Ok.I'll consider it but it's a big step, you have to understand that.'
He did understand, he was asking her to just up and leave everything behind. He could see why she was reluctant. If nothing else, this place was, the only thing she had left that connected her to her father, besides him that was. 'I do, I'm sorry I was so narrow-minded.'
'You weren't narrow-minded. I'm sorry I was so mean; I didn't mean that, you know, about them not giving you a job. I'm sure they will but.you gotta understand it probably won't be a pilot's job.'
'I know.' He said quietly and then she realised why it was that he was going, why he couldn't stay.
'Oh.' She whispered. 'So that's it. It's not just about being near them is it? Without them you can't fly can you?'
He looked down at her and shook his head mutely. She tightened her arms around him. 'I'm sorry. I know how important that is to you.' She laughed a little. 'Hey, you're not the only one hell-bent on flying, looks like Megan's inherited that. You'll never guess what she did the other day, she jumped out of a tree, she was trying to fly, scared the life out of me.'
Murdock stared at her wordlessly. 'What?' She asked concerned.
'Are you serious?'
'Yeah.what's wrong?'
'I did that. When I was five or six I jumped out of tree trying to fly.' His eyes were far away and then a smile touched his lips and he chuckled. 'That's my girl. One day I'll teach her how to fly properly.'
Katie smiled. 'She really is like you.' Then her smiled faded. 'What will you tell them?'
'That they let me go; I won't tell them the truth. They might make me go back.'
'I doubt that Murdock, I think they'd understand of all people.'
He shrugged. 'If they don't, Stockwell will, he might do it anyway.'
'Good luck.' She whispered, she didn't ask when he was going; she knew it would have to be tonight. 'Do you need a car?'
'No.I've got one. I'll be ok.'
She hugged him again. 'Just.if you need to talk I'm a phone call away.'
'Thanks.' He kissed her gently. 'I love you, don't forget that.'
'Murdock.don't.don't say it.' She knew she wouldn't be able to stand it if she had to hear him say goodbye.
He nodded and kissed her forehead, holding her close so that he could memorise the smell and feel of her. He wanted to take her back to bed but he knew if he did, he wouldn't leave and then he might be found. Reluctantly, he removed her arms from around his waist and turned away. It was the second time in a week that he'd walked away from her and it seemed to get harder each time.
As he walked down the stairs he knew that something new was beginning, for the first time in a very long time, he would have a life, a normal, grown- up life. That prospect scared him more than he would ever admit.
