The snow around us was dyed red…a mixture of my own blood…that of my friends and comrades…and that of our enemies…
Inu Yasha was already dead; at only a glance I knew it. I think Kagome knew it too…but she was trying all she could to wake him. "Kagome..." But she turned tear filled eyes to me. "I think someone else needs you right now…"
I turned, and with a gasp rushed to his side.
~ Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms? ~
"You can't give up, Houshi-sama! Hang on!" He smiled, his dark eyes looking deeply into my own. He's smiling?! How can he always stay so calm?! Even in such a situation…he still smiles…
~ Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight ~
I noticed him gasp…and I realized that the crimson snow surrounding him was becoming redder by the second. But despite it all, he never broke that loving gaze into my eyes…not even for an instant…
~ I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (Come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears ~
His hand gripped lightly at the thick layer of snow beneath him. "I always loved the winter…everything's so beautiful…I'm glad I got to see it one last time…" I took his other hand in my own. "You can't leave me…"
"I'll…I'll never leave you forever…" I looked at him, puzzled. "Go back to Inu Yasha's forest…look for me…for both of us…we'll be there…" I still didn't understand. Why was he saying these things?! But…something forces me to believe him…and I find myself nodding…believing…understanding…even when my mind swam with so many emotions.
I hadn't noticed until then that I was crying, my tears dropping from my cheeks onto the snow. And I knew then that I would always hate the white frozen endlessness that winter seems so fond of…always hate it for idly watching as my love was stolen from me by the cold hands of death.
~ Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight ~
I heard him gasp again… 'He's holding his breath? But why…' His own tears slipped from his cheeks, leaving small dots in the icy snow and mingling with my own. I shut my eyes, trying desperately to do anything to trap my tears and stop them from leaving such painful reminds on the small patch of landscape…the few feet that seemed like the entire world at that moment.
~ Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there ~
'It's all a dream…you're going to wake up…you're going to wake up and he's going to be there smiling and making perverted jokes as usual. You'll tell him off. Inu Yasha will be saying how childish we all are…Kagome will be running ahead…Inu Yasha will fuss at her to be careful…just how it's always been…You're dreaming…You're dreaming…'
I slowly opened my eyes…and I felt the sadness within me rise to unimaginable heights at my failed attempt to salvage what was left of my hope. Miroku coughed, and I felt his grip on my hand get tighter…
~ Say goodnight ~
"I love you…"
"I…I love you, too…"
~ Don't be afraid ~
"Don't cry for me…I want you to be happy…"
"No! Don't go! I…I can't be happy without you! Houshi-sama!"
~ Calling me…..calling me….. as you fade to black…..~
"No…tears don't suit you…smile…for me…"
I watched his eyes close and sat in a shocked silence for a few moments. Then it all hit me at once and I felt tears cascade in rivers down my face. "Houshi-sama! HOUSHI-SAMA!" I shook him, a vain attempt to convince myself that he wasn't gone…that he was going to get up and laugh at me for believing such a simple minded joke. But he didn't rise…he didn't open his eyes…those eyes that had given me that final look of pure affection and left me transfixed by his image...
I stood, and couldn't help but notice that his ever present smile still played on his lips. And I understood. For me, he'd held his very last breath…
~Owari~
Inu Yasha was already dead; at only a glance I knew it. I think Kagome knew it too…but she was trying all she could to wake him. "Kagome..." But she turned tear filled eyes to me. "I think someone else needs you right now…"
I turned, and with a gasp rushed to his side.
~ Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms? ~
"You can't give up, Houshi-sama! Hang on!" He smiled, his dark eyes looking deeply into my own. He's smiling?! How can he always stay so calm?! Even in such a situation…he still smiles…
~ Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight ~
I noticed him gasp…and I realized that the crimson snow surrounding him was becoming redder by the second. But despite it all, he never broke that loving gaze into my eyes…not even for an instant…
~ I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (Come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears ~
His hand gripped lightly at the thick layer of snow beneath him. "I always loved the winter…everything's so beautiful…I'm glad I got to see it one last time…" I took his other hand in my own. "You can't leave me…"
"I'll…I'll never leave you forever…" I looked at him, puzzled. "Go back to Inu Yasha's forest…look for me…for both of us…we'll be there…" I still didn't understand. Why was he saying these things?! But…something forces me to believe him…and I find myself nodding…believing…understanding…even when my mind swam with so many emotions.
I hadn't noticed until then that I was crying, my tears dropping from my cheeks onto the snow. And I knew then that I would always hate the white frozen endlessness that winter seems so fond of…always hate it for idly watching as my love was stolen from me by the cold hands of death.
~ Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight ~
I heard him gasp again… 'He's holding his breath? But why…' His own tears slipped from his cheeks, leaving small dots in the icy snow and mingling with my own. I shut my eyes, trying desperately to do anything to trap my tears and stop them from leaving such painful reminds on the small patch of landscape…the few feet that seemed like the entire world at that moment.
~ Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there ~
'It's all a dream…you're going to wake up…you're going to wake up and he's going to be there smiling and making perverted jokes as usual. You'll tell him off. Inu Yasha will be saying how childish we all are…Kagome will be running ahead…Inu Yasha will fuss at her to be careful…just how it's always been…You're dreaming…You're dreaming…'
I slowly opened my eyes…and I felt the sadness within me rise to unimaginable heights at my failed attempt to salvage what was left of my hope. Miroku coughed, and I felt his grip on my hand get tighter…
~ Say goodnight ~
"I love you…"
"I…I love you, too…"
~ Don't be afraid ~
"Don't cry for me…I want you to be happy…"
"No! Don't go! I…I can't be happy without you! Houshi-sama!"
~ Calling me…..calling me….. as you fade to black…..~
"No…tears don't suit you…smile…for me…"
I watched his eyes close and sat in a shocked silence for a few moments. Then it all hit me at once and I felt tears cascade in rivers down my face. "Houshi-sama! HOUSHI-SAMA!" I shook him, a vain attempt to convince myself that he wasn't gone…that he was going to get up and laugh at me for believing such a simple minded joke. But he didn't rise…he didn't open his eyes…those eyes that had given me that final look of pure affection and left me transfixed by his image...
I stood, and couldn't help but notice that his ever present smile still played on his lips. And I understood. For me, he'd held his very last breath…
~Owari~
