"Let's make up another story that has nothing to do with this chapter!" Captain Blackeye says.

"What? You're drunk!" a trout yells..

"That's a yes!" Captain Blackeye says.

1 Short Story: Gruntilda Time

*Meanwhile, at Gruntilda's Lair.*

A door swings open.. And you see Gruntilda the witch sitting on a couch with her green skin filled body.

"Hello, I am Gruntilda, you strange fellow.. In order for this to work properly, the creator had to give me my old body." Gruntilda says.. Then picks her nose and tosses her snot.

"What shall we talk about today?" Gruntilda asks.

"Hey, do you like Wario and Waluigi?" A member of the crowd asks.

"What are you talking about? I never meet those Nazis, I only saw pictures of em, besides, the Nazis are already taken by someone else!" Gruntilda yells.

"Are you lesbo?" An idiot asks.

"What the hell are you talking about? Don't you know my original purpose, it was to get a sexy body to have sex with all the males I pleasured.. If I was a lesbian, I'd already have sex with the all the females on the island and they would all team up with me to kill that bear and bird, but don't even get that thought, sex with Tooty and Humba Wumba, ah, scary!" Gruntilda screams.

"Hey, what aren't you rhyming?" a crowd asks.

"Because I don't get paid to here.. And thinking of a rhyme all the time is really hard, hey, does anyone see lard?" Gruntilda says.

Suddenly, a Lardmaster 3000 falls down in front of Grunty, and blinks a lot and moves it's mouth.

"It's a dream come true, a new broomstick, wahoo!" Gruntilda says, then jumps on her broomstick!

"So, what did you mean by the beginning quote of see ya--"

Grunty flies away on here new broomstick.

"Um.. That's the end.. I guess.." the Director says.



Chapter 7A: Drunk Lagoon with Zombies!

*Jolly Bar Lagoon*

(Banjo and Kazooie enter the new area and look around, they spot a sign)

"Hey look, a Bar, only 2 Blocks away!" Banjo says!

"Yeah, that's nice, but the line is 2 blocks in total!" Kazooie yells, while Banjo is by a line of bunch of drunks.

Banjo taps a drunk on the back, this drunk is a Gray Soldier Squirrel around the height 4'6".

"What do you want? I want a drink.. I came for, now, you want nothing!" The squirrel says.

"Um.. I guess we can't skip anyone.." Banjo says.

"Hey look, the line, the group, it's moving!" Kazooie says.

Everyone moves 1 inch..

"Great.." Banjo mummers..

*Meanwhile, inside the Jolly's Bar.*

Thousands of voices are heard in the bar, with drunks drinking lots of beer, all happy, and talking, all different species..

"Jolly, you are disturbing me!" Conker says, sitting at the in front of all the beer served by in the Bar, besides the beer people are drinking.

"Well, ew ah ew, so I got a brand new TV to watch Happy Hour with Maggie!" Jolly Roger says.

Thousands of people are talking still..

Jolly Roger turns on the Big Screen TV to a Happy Hour Channel, but no one cares because they are all drunks, except Jolly..

"Ah god.. Jolly, give me another pint!" Conker yells..

*Again, now at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard!*

"Ah bloody hell.. Seems the bear and bird are doing pretty well.. Then they will get that Gas Mask from the red Squirrel and succeed, defeat me without a hassle, no need!" Grunty in JiggyWiggy's body complains.

"S.O.M. is charged up for another blast.. A big one this time!" Scrot says.

"What's the use, Mumbo Jumbo will unpossess everyone, this is just abuse." Gruntilda says.

"Sister, get a hold of yourself, if skull man tries to unpossess evil drunks, he will not succeed, the drunks will be just plain old angry, and still try to kill bear and bird." Mingella says.

"Oh my skinny sister, you know how to cheer me up, now lets get back to blast and suck!" Gruntilda says.

"The mapping system spots Bear and Bird 2 blocks away from next TV." Blobbella says.

"Forget the bear, think of all the people in the bar, bye the time the bear and bird come, someone will take his place and defeat, perhaps that rumored King Squirrel, but enough of that!" Gruntilda says.

Gruntilda walks up to the Controls of S.O.M.

Eyes pop out of the machine.

"Oh bloody hell, I hate my job, access granted, I know who you are, just blast!" The machine says after staring at Gruntilda.

"Cousin, pick your best target!" Scrot adds.

Gruntilda presses the auto-targeting button with JiggyWiggy's arm.

"I say Jolly Roger, that bastard was one of the first people to bring misery to me yesterday night. With his torturous dancing, I demand revenge on that Frog!" Gruntilda adds.

"Just because he danced?" Blobbella says confused..

"He has a dance of doom, just like Island Of Hag's flume!" Gruntilda adds.

The machine targets Jolly Roger at the bar, and Conker is seen in the picture.

"Oh yes, this is great, we can kill two birds with one stone! And a nice body to copy too!" Grunty says.

"Copying one body out of two targets in the blast may cause a somewhat glitch." Scrot adds.

"What do you mean?" Grunty asks..

"Both will be Zombies.." Scrot answers.

"Well good, cause with the possessing system, the old squirrel friend of the bear will be his enemy!" Grunty adds.

"How do you know so much about this bear?" Scrot asks.

"It's simple, and quite true, if he's your enemy, you must know everything about him, in able to defeat him.." Grunty asks.

"Sister, aren't you going a bit to far, just to get rid of the bear and bird?" Blobbella asks.

"No you fool, I'm destroying most of the world.. With bear and bird, plus their friends done, all next is to target lazy heroes on breaks, and all the mission will be done!" Gruntilda says.

"But sister---" Blobbella gets smacked before finishing.

"Now let us kill 2 birds with just one stone! Or 2 creatures.." Grunty says.

Gruntilda pushes the broadcast button all excited!

The machine charges up.. Very quickly.. THEN IT FIRES!

*Inside Jolly's New Bar.*

"Look, Jolly, don't you get sick of re-runs!" Conker asks.

"Oh, oh, oh, well, whats your problem with Happy Hour." Maggie Malpass asks.

"Everyone look at the screen or never get served beer again!" Jolly Roger yells.

Everyone looks at the TV.

*At Banjo's location, 1 Block and several yards from the Jolly's Bar.*

"*Yawn.* Banjo, this line is to long!" Kazooie complains.

"We have plenty of time Kazooie!" Banjo says.

"Yeah, well what about that witch?" Kazooie asks madly.

"Don't worry---" Banjo quickly gets cut off from a light in the sky and a loud familiar noise.

Suddenly, the Blast heads strait towards Jolly's Bar!

"NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! DID YOU SEE THAT YOU IDIOT!" Kazooie yells loud as possible.

The drunken squirrel in front of them turns around.

"Probally just a new thingy ma jig for the bar to look speeciaalll!" the drunk replies.

The blast ray is still seen flashing and making loud rumbling!

*Inside Jolly's Bar.*

The Giant Screen TV begins to show very ugly naked bodies, they move, they turn purple, grow pimples, and warts.. Then feces get poured on them.

"This is sick!" Conker yells, being the only drinker awake!

Suddenly, the bodies become EXTREMELY *CENSORED* !

Conker, Maggie, and Jolly Roger fall to the ground fainted, while all the drunks are asleep!

*Back at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard, for the fifteenth threw twentieth time!*

"Oh jolly! Instead of two targets, I got three! Copy the squirrel body for me. Suck the life force too!" Grunty says happily.

"Hmm. That's a pure result of survival for them, of course, in zombie form!" Scrott adds.

"I do not care, as long as I get that body and less helpful friends for that bird and bear, so just be jolly.." Grunty says, then she pushes Collect..

*Outside Jolly New Bar, 1 block and several inches.*

"Banjo.. That was very odd! And obviously we know what it was!" Kazooie says..

"Um, well, lets not go for a while and just wait."

Suddenly, another huge blast comes from the sky, and heads towards Jolly's New Bar.

The color of the bar suddenly changes colors, from Brown to gray.

*Inside Jolly Roger's New Bar!*

A huge blast hits Conker, Maggie, and Jolly, then dissapears.

Suddenly, Conker, Maggie, and Jolly rise from the ground.. As Zombies, or better known as fighting blood thirsting creatures with the traits of a Drunk..

The TV explodes and the Drunks wake up and find the three new Zombies.

"Hey, you forget how to serve beer?" a drunk asks.

The 3 Zombies make a noise.

"This is an outrage, we drunks.. Need.. Ah forgeit ite! We, um, eat people too, and, stuff!" The drunk says, then falls to the ground fainted.

*Back at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard.*

"Ha, ha, ha! Look at the zombies and the drunks! They are so funny! Ha ha ha! " Gruntilda laughs while watching the spy monitor TV.

"Yes, however cousin, the drunks may be unpossess proof, but they aren't reliable to succeeding!" Scrot adds.

"So what, as long as they annoy Banjo, barf on him, smoke near him, hit him with their bottles, fall on them, and prevent Banjo and Kazooie from succeeding, they are good enough!" Gruntilda says.

"Drown in barf, yes.." Blobbella adds.

"(When do I get to do anything, these witches are boring)" Blobbella's cat thinks to it's self.

"That cat gets to do whatever it wants, as long as it is useful." Scrot says.

"(What the?)" The cat thinks to itself.

"(Yes, I can read your mind too!)" Scrot says telepathically to the cat.

"Yes, now lets have a blast!" Mingella adds!

Suddenly, EVERYONE LAUGHS, then they stop..

Then a witch laughing recording goes on and fades out.

*Back at Jolly's Bar Lagoon, 6 yards from the Entrance of the Bar.*

"Let's check it out, now!" Kazooie says.

Suddenly, the drunk in front of Banjo leaves the line and exits the Lagoon.

"Well.. Down.." Kazooie says..

Suddenly, the line turns around, and all the drunks run up to Banjo.

"Well, looks like I have fans here!" Banjo says.

"You.. You, dream thingy stealer!" a drunken Dung Beetle says.

All the Drunks surround Banjo.

"Uh-oh!" Banjo gulps.

Kazooie pops out of Banjo's backpack.

"Banjo, they are drunks! How hard can a bunch of drunken people be?" Kazooie asks.

Suddenly, the Dung Beetle barfs on Banjo, then the Beetle falls asleep.

Banjo wipes off the barf.

"Wait, you still got 20 of us left you 3 bears and birds!" a drunken Caveman says.

Kazooie pecks the Caveman and the drunken cave guy falls to the ground.

Banjo looks around and notices out 6 drunks around him.

"U weana peace to mie?" a drunken pig asks.

Banjo punches the drunken pig in the face, the drunk falls to the floor..

"Oh please, how pathetic." Kazooie says.

The 5 remaining drunks get knocked out by Banjo's fist.

"Well.. That's done.. Let's get in the Bar." Banjo says.

(They open the door in front of them, walk in, and close it.)

*Jolly's Zombified Bar!*

(Banjo and Kazooie enter and find a bunch of kegs filled with beer, and notice the floor and walls are gray.)

"Um, Banjo, lets not become pissed right now, okay." Kazooie says.

Banjo and Kazooie walk past the kegs and find Conker, Jolly Roger, and Merry Maggi Malpass about several feet away.

They notice that Conker is brown colored, Merry Maggie Malpass is light gray, and Jolly Roger is just, gray.

"Well.. They are either drunk or Zombies." Kazooie states.

"Um.. Are you sure." Banjo asks.

Kazooie looks at Jolly Roger and notices a sad face of horror.

"Um. You got a point.. Jolly isn't his Jolly old self, and they are pretty odd colors today." Kazooie says.

"Well, seems that not only is my old friend Boggy dead, same for his family, but now my old friend Conker is dead." Banjo says.

"It doesn't matter, it's been more than a year sense you last meet him." Kazooie says.

Banjo walks up a several feet.

Suddenly, Conker, Maggie, and Jolly Roger begin to move, moaning.

They walk up to Banjo..

"Hello guys.." Banjo says.

They punch Banjo in the face, then Jolly grabs Banjo by the neck and throws him across the bar, Banjo hits a wall and slowly slides down.

"That's it, let's beat them up a lot like we did to Jingaling once!" Kazooie yells.

"No.. Just forget it Kazooie." Banjo says.

"Beware.. Of the Manly Fish, and His Brother…" Zombified Jolly Roger says in a dull and slow tone.

"My life was horrible.. I'd like to dance." Zombiefied Maggie says.

"I heard the Tediz are back , and another war is about to start again, but not just the Tediz, but several thousand more species as well." Zombified Conker says slowly and dull.

"I saw a man with a strange mask one day saying kill the bear and bird, then he disappeared and claimed to be in a Crap factory somewhere." Zombiefied Maggie says slowly.

"That's enough, let just steal the gas mask and leave!" Kazooie says.

Kazooie pecks Conker in the face and Conker falls to the ground and drops his Gas Mask.

"Yes.. We have it!" Kazooie says, the Banjo takes it and puts it in his backpack.

"Why did I have to be so harmed for a death!" Zombified Conker says.

"Um.. Sorry." Banjo replies, and then quickly leaves.

"The secret of Stop&Swop is--"

*Outside Jolly's Bar.*

Banjo and Kazooie walk out and find Drunks.

"AUGH!" a drunken Monkey says.

Banjo punches the drunk in the face, then Banjo leaves, avoiding the idiotic drunks.

*Near the Big Lagoon, 1 Block away.*

(Banjo and Kazooie walk near a lake.)

"Well, I suppose we are suppose to dive in it?" Kazooie says.

"Nah.." Banjo says..

Banjo looks around, and sees a building called Bullion Bill's INN.

Banjo and Kazooie walk into the building.

*Bullion Bit's Inn.*

(Banjo and Kazooie walk in.)

"What the hell are you doing near a Lagoon you damn miner!" Kazooie yells.

"Um.. Well, just wanted to back in the ol' outdoors.. All I could find that was nice is this place to live in." Bullion Bill answers.

The rat named Dilberta jumps up and backflips.

"Right.. Um.. Do you have a Jiggy we could keep?" Kazooie asks.

"Um.. No, I have a Jiggy, but you'll need to earn it!" Bullion Bill.

"YOU GOD DAMN RAT *@%ING ASSHOLE! WE NEED IT NOW! OR ELSE DIE!" Kazooie yells.

"Language.." Bullion Bill replies.

"Um, why won't you give us your Jiggy?" Asks Banjo.

"Well, one reason is the fact that its stuck in an oil Machine from Ghetto City to here. The machine was destroyed by mean ghetto people living in Garbage cans." Bullion Bill says.

"Hmm.. You expect us to go threw?" Kazooie asks.

"Well.. There is a short-cut… I ceilded it up.." Bullion Bill says.

"Why is this an Inn anyways?" Banjo asks.

"Because it is!" Bullion Bill replies.

Suddenly, a bed falls down from a wall.

"Very old." Kazooie replies.

Suddenly, Split-Up pads appear next to the Bed.

"Whopee! I get to go to sleep! Kazooie, you do the work!" Banjo says happily.

"But.. But, but." Kazooie repeats..

"No buts." Banjo says, then falls asleep.

"(Fatass bear.)" Kazooie says in her head.

Kazooie hurls a Grenade Egg at the ceiled up path and Enters it.

*Ghetto City Mines.*

(Kazooie ends up in a tunnel.)

"Hmm. Damn Banjo, making me do all the work.." Kazooie complains.

Kazooie walks further and finds a Garbage can.

"Well gee, I wonder what's in here.." Kazooie pretends to wonder, then kicks over the garage can.

Suddenly, a Skunk falls out..

"Yo, I is gonna get ya fo that bitch!" The skunk yells.

Kazooie kicks the skunk in the Testicles and the bum falls to the ground..

Kazooie walks further and finds a ceilded up wall..

Kazooie coughs up her last Grenade Egg on the wall and the wall breaks apart reveiling an exit.

(Kazooie walks out)

*Ghetto City, Streets.*

(Kazooie walks out and sees a house made of wood, she enters it.)

*Ghetto City, Wooden House Hideout.*

Kazooie walks in and looks around, she sees a giant yellow switch with wires connected to it.

"Geesh.. I wonder what the hell this does." Kazooie says sarcastically.

Kazooie walks up to it and the sits on it.

Suddenly Sirens go on!

*Back at Jolly Bar Lagoon, Bullion Bill's Inn.*

"Wake up! The damn Jiggy is in hand of Ghetto Murders!" Bullion Bill yells!

Banjo wakes up and runs in threw the path Kazooie took, and finds the exit.. Banjo walks in the hut.

*Ghetto City, House Hideout.*

Banjo walks in.

"Um.. Why is there a siren on?" Banjo asks.

"I don't know… Um.. The switch is stuck.. Might as well leave it." Kazooie says, then hops in Banjo's back-pack.

Beaver walks in.

"Don't make a move! Or else robbers!" the Beaver says.

Suddenly, a latter to the basement appears, while the sirens are still on..

"Um.. Good bye.." Banjo says, the jumps in the basement.

*Ghetto City, Basement of House Hideout.*

(Banjo and Kazooie fall down, and the Beaver does the same.)

"That's it, if you are gonna steal our stolen goods, to bad!" the Beaver yells, then gets out a small pistol..

"Meanwhile you are at it boss, don't forget it!" a voice heard says.

Suddenly, lights go on, and then a bunch of beavers with weapons are seen.

"Well, to bad this is the end." The Beaver Mob Boss says.

Banjo pulls Kazooie out of his Back-Pack!

"No it's not!" Banjo yells.

Banjo stuffs a clip in Kazooie's mouth and Kazooie shoots out all the bullets all the Beavers.

"Hmm.. Not right." The Mob Boss Beaver says.

The Mob Boss Beaver runs upstairs.

Suddenly, the house begins to rumble..

*Outside the Hideout House.*

A giant oil digging machine starts to work again, and suddenly, it digs out a Jiggy.

The Jiggy falls down in the chimney of the Hideout House.

*Ghetto City, Hideout House Main Floor.*

(Banjo climbs the latter with Kazooie in his back pack and finds the Jiggy in front of him.)

Banjo jumps up and walks up to the Jiggy.

"No, ya dumbass, no!" The Mob Boss Beaver says.

The Mob Boss Beaver Grabs the Jiggy and his followers walk in!

"Get that Bear and Bird, while I deal with the Fox again!" the Mob Boss Beaver says, then runs out of the house!

Banjo pulls out Kazooie from his Back pack and puts in another clip!

The Beaver Followers get out their M16s!

"What the hell! RUN FOR IT!" Kazooie yells!

Kazooie quickly puts out her legs and runs with Banjo out of the Hideout House.

*Ghetto City, Streets.*

Kazooie still performs the Talon Trot and meets up with the Mob Boss Beaver.

"You'll never get away!" Kazooie yells!

The Mob Boss Beaver runs into the mines of Ghetto City!

Kazooie with Banjo does the same!

*Ghetto City, Mines.*

"Give up!" Kazooie yells.

"Never!" the Mob Boss Beaver yells, then puts the Golden Jiggy between his teeth and gets out a Tommy Gun!

Banjo suddenly gulps.

Kazooie jumps up with the weight of Banjo, and Kicks the Mob Boss Beaver in the Face, then Mob Boss Beaver drops his Jiggy and falls to the floor.

Banjo grabs the Jiggy while Kazooie still runs!

Suddenly, the Mob Boss Beaver gets back up, mad, and then his Beaver Followers with M16's run in!

Kazooie runs towards a steel door.

The door opens and quickly opens.

*Jolly Bar Lagoon, Bullion Bill's Inn..*

Kazooie runs in with Banjo.

"The Mob Boss Beaver, he, he is--"

"I know, I know." Bullion Bill says.

"Dilberta, get out the bomb!" Bullion Bill yells.

Dilberta gets out a bomb from the closet, kicks it to Bullion Bill.

Bullion Bill lights the Bomb, throws it past the steel door..

Bullion Bill quickly runs up to the Steel Door, locks it, and the Bomb explodes and the noise of body parts and blood falling to the ground is heard.

"Um.. Sorry about that.. Now keep the Jiggy!" Bullion Bill says.

Banjo puts the Jiggy in his backpack..

"Um, that was unusual, but lets continue." Kazooie says.

Banjo and Kazooie leave the hotel.



Um.. Yes.. That was an unusual chapter.. But its suppose to be! Stay tuned for the next!



I didn't exactly kill him, he needed that to happen to him, because no-one cares about the Toad Merry Malpass and the frog Jolly Roger. In order to make it a somewhat sad thing, instead of a celebration, I had to put in a character everyone likes, besides, Conker will be revived, later in the story, as well as other characters.



"WHY DID YOU KILL CONKER!" a man yells.

"Hey, he's not really dead, technically he is still alive, he is just, Permantly drunk!" the author says.

"Besides, everyone would be just to happy if Merry Maggie and Jolly Roger died, so we put in Conker." Gregg says.

The man throws garbage at the writers.

"Um, go look at Ranjo-Kazooie, so you'll realize um.. Oh bloody hell." Gregg says.

Chapter7B: Place of the Drunks.

Banjo and Kazooie go outside and see some more drunks.

"Yo, I need my bear, or I'll eat you up!" a drunk says.

"Shut the hell up, something horrible happened, no time for comedy!" Banjo yells.

"Get over it Banjo." Kazooie replies.

"Duh, okay, I'll shutup." the drunk says.

Banjo and Kazooie look around and head towards the lake they passed before.

"Something unusual here!" Kazooie yells.

"What? The fact we never went in?" Banjo asks.

"NO! The water level is lowering!" Kazooie yells.

"Maybe it's the moon?" Banjo says.

"It isn't night yet, Banjo." Kazooie says.

*Back at CASTLE Hag-Witch-Wizard.*

Gruntilda is seen with Conker's body, however, sense Conker is known to be short, Gruntilda isn't at a proper height.

"Hmm.. I think something is wrong.." Gruntilda adds.

"What is it now!" Scrot yells.

"I need to make head change." Gruntilda says.

"That would require a brain transplant." Blobbella adds.

"Actually, with the technology. You can make one, although fake." Scrot says.

Scrot goes up towards his message control screen, then hits the order button.

*In the Tallest's Room.*

"Another message, how many were there today?" Purple complains.

"Um, why bother checking." Red replies.

"Red, you go check it." Purple says.

"Why do I have to check?" Red asks.

"Because of the.. the.. um, your lasers.." Purple answers.

Suddenly, a laser hits Purple in the left eye.

"DAMN IT! WHEN WILL IT STOP!" Purple yells!

"Um, okay.. Lets see the message." Red says, then walks up to a Giant Screen.

Suddenly, Scrot's head is seen again.

"Oh no, not again, that rejected person wanting stuff in his perverted and odd location." Red says.

"Um, hello, I'd like another shipment." Scrot says.

"Um, hold on, we might be busy." Red says.

Red walks up to Purple.

"You think we should play a joke on him?" Purple whispers.

"Hmm, not such a bad idea." Red replies.

Red turns around.

"Um, apparently, we decided to take a break in our busy schedule, to, talk to you..." Red says then suddenly pauses.

"I want A new upgrade! I need a certain module to change heads of people nad-" Scrot almost says before laughing is heard.

"Hahahahahahahahaha! Did you hear that, how pathetic, such an old class device needed, and doesn't even know the name of it!" Purple says, then continues laughing some more!

"What's so funny?" Scrot asks.

"Um, nothing except we, um, thought we had alot of them but only have one, so, we might as well send it." Red says.

"I live at Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard, Island OddBallness!" Scrot says.

"Okay.." Purple says calmly.

Scrot logs out.

"Hahahahahahaha!" The Tallest burst out laughter!

"Let's send a funny joke package!" Purple says, then continues to laugh.

"Okay, but let's do the same to Zim!" Red says.

*Irken Object Shipment base.*

Suddenly, two packages fall in front of the slave worker.

"Hmm, Zim, and Scrot, lets mix them up again!" the slave package guy says.

"Hey, I thought I told you to shut up!" a muscular slave driver with a whip in his hand says.

"You need to be quiet, I can't concentrate on delivering!" the slave package worker yells.

"Oh, okay, just hurry up.. And, I will kill you if you don't." the muscular slave driving Irken with a whip says.

The slave driver, once again changes the packages.

"Muah ha ha ha ha ha!" the worker laughs evilly.

"If you don't stop doing that, um, I'll have to hit you with my whip!" the slave driver yells.

"Oh shutup!" the slave irken replies.

*On the Irken Supply Thingy Planet Like, thing!*

A cannon aims at the same planet as last time! Then fires the package across the galaxy.

*Island OddBallness, Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard.*

The package enters the atmosphere and crashes down in front of the entrance to the Castle.

Everyone in the castle runs downstairs and stop by the box outside.

"What is this?" Gruntilda asks.

"I think its what I ordered." Scrot says.

Scrot opens the package, and a giant robotic pepper spray can lifts up from the box and sprays on Blobbella's eyes.

"Ahhhh! MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE!" Blobbella yells.

Blobbella starts running around in circles complaining about her eyes.

Mingella looks in the box and sees a paper.

She picks it up and reads it out loud.

"Hey Zim, you can rule the Earth easily if you, RUN AROUND NAKED IN PUBLIC Earth streets.. And then you have to fall in a crater or go to Area 51." Mingella reads out loud.

"Um, who is Zim?" Gruntilda asks.

"Um, don't know, but we must have received the wrong package.

*Meanwhile, Zim's house.*

"Scrot, leave us alone you perverted freak, now don't order again unless you want a fragile bomb to explode on your Island?" Zim says confused with a paper in his hand.

"Yay! Scrot owns an Island!" GIR says.

*Back to our main characters.*

"This is really annoying, it seems the Gruntilda is getting most of the fame!" Kazooie says.

"Well, her name is in the title." Banjo says.

"Let's continue our strange adventure.." Kazooie then says.

They walk into Mumbo's skull.

*Mumbo's Skull.*

Banjo and Kazooie look around, and spot, 5 notes.

"This is getting odd, more collecting, boo." Kazooie complains.

Banjo grabs the five notes, then walk upstairs and stop in front of Mumbo.

"Welcome again bear and bird." Mumbo says.

"We don't have a Glowbo." Banjo says.

"Oh, good, put it in bag." Mumbo says.

Banjo does nothing.

"Um, didn't you hear us say we don't have a Glowbo?" Kazooie says.

"Why are you here?" Mumbo asks.

"We are here to, um.. Give you a potion!" Banjo says.

Banjo gets out a potion he got from Tooty.

"Potion from Wigwam, not sure." Mumbo says.

"Oh come on, Mumbo, it's not poison." Banjo says.

"OR is it!" Mumbo adds.

"I'm not gonna waste my time, sitting here, drink it you freak!" Kazooie says.

Banjo gets out the potion and walks up to Mumbo.

"Mumbo not drink." Mumbo says.

Kazooie grabs the potion from Banjo, Banjo grabs Mumbo by the head and holds his mouth open, and Kazooie forces all the liquid down Mumbo's mouth.

Banjo forces Mumbo's mouth closed and Mumbo swallows the liquid.

Banjo lets go.

"You help kill Mumbo, you get half the money you would if you didn't do that!" Mumbo says.

"You are still alive masked feck." Kazooie says.

"What did you do?" Mumbo asks.

Jamjars runs in.

"You have a meter after drinking a liter! You can now use more powerful Magic without going threw a havoc, so go do some stuff while I drink duff!" Jamjars says, then leaves.

"What the hell!" Kazooie yells.

"Mumbo got useless Magic meter, I could have had infinite supply of slightly weaker." Mumbo says.

"Isn't that what a Glowbo is for?" Banjo asks.

"Wait, I can use Magic without Glowbo! This is good, no need to kill pink creature every time now!" Mumbo says.

"Mumbo can now save lots of money, Mumbo can become pimp, Mumbo can own a Car, Mumbo can pay mortgage!" Mumbo say happy.

"Well, now that you don't need a Glowbo, help us, and don't be a pimp, Wumba will kill you!" Banjo says.

"Okay.. You stay here while Mumbo kick ass!" Mumbo says.

Mumbo runs downstairs and leaves.

*Jolly Bar Lagoon.*

Mumbo walks outside and sees drunks, and also notices the sunsets and the moon is in the sky.

"Give us beer or die!" a drunk says.

"You drunks are pathetic." Mumbo says.

"We need beer, and we will kill for it."

*At Castle Hag-Witch-Wizard, yawn, again, last time in this chapter.*

"Yes, I had a feeling we would have it." Scrot says, looking in his suitcase and getting out the head modifier.

"Wait a sec.. What is the use of the drunks?" Gruntilda asks (still in Conker's body)

"It's quite simple, sense the beer amount in the city is disappearing, the drunks will become insane without a hangover, fully capable of killing.. Plus they are unpossess proof." Mingella says.

"But wouldn't the plan back-fire?" Blobbella says.

Everyone except Blobbella's cat look at Blobby.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" everyone yells at Blobbella.

Suddenly, a psycho with a gray mask/ helmet covering his entire head walks in.

"Looks like you failed!" Scrot says.

"Yes, but let me tell you… That--"

"I'll give you a second chance, only a second one, Sayco." Scrot says, revealing the mind controlling human's name.

"Okay.. Thanks, next time, I'll do something very horrible.. That'll make the bear and bird doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doom--"

"SHUT THE *@% UP SAYCO, we know what you are going to try to do!" everyone, even Blobbella, yell!

"Oh, sorry, but I promise I'll play with them, and I won't be in most of the action.. Yes, play, its so fun, play of sexy doom!" Sayco says insanely.

"Yeah, whatever, perv." Everyone says.

"I'll study their weaknesses for a while.. I might as well go." Sayco says.

Sayco suddenly vanishes.

"Ow! I hit a wall!" Invisible Sayco says.

Sayco is heard yelling all over the Castle but not seen.

"Oh well, I'm star! Let's have some fun! And not in a sexual way unless I have a sexy body.." Gruntilda says.

Suddenly, everyone laughs again! Then Scrot coughs, but everyone else continues to Laugh!

*Back at Jolly Bar Lagoon.*

"Mumbo perform more Magic!" Mumbo says.

Mumbo gets out bag.

"Wait.. Glowbo is needed for this." Mumbo says.

Mumbo looks around and sees a drunken Glowbo.

Mumbo grabs it and shoves it in his bag, then kills it.

"Bear and Bird must have lied, Magic Meter crap useless." Mumbo says.

Jamjars runs in front of Mumbo.

"You can perform a Super Spell with the magic meter, different than regular spells which require no magic." Jamjars says.

"Shut up, Mumbo knows what to do, go the hell away, only needed for new moves, not crap I know!" Mumbo complains.

"But--"

"But nothing, watch as Mumbo perform regular spell that is useful!" Mumbo says.

"Let's see then you freak shaman!" Jamjars replies.

Mumbo puts his Mouth near his bag and begins to sing!

UNPOSSESS

(Drunks near Mumbo)

"Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum, Majuju Boo, Majuju Boo, Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum EAT YOU UP!" Mumbo sings.

Suddenly five drunks walk up to Mumbo.

"Told you it would work!" Mumbo says.

All the Drunks punch Mumbo in the face and he falls to the ground.

"Mumbo did something wrong." Mumbo mummers.

The drunks punch Mumbo five more times and walk away.

Mumbo gets back up.

"See, now try a Super Spell, to do so, just say, SUPER SPELL!" Jamjars says.

"That is stupid, makes Mumbo look like amateur, damn Humba Wumba's horrible potion." Mumbo says..

"Just do it!" Jamjars says.

"SUPER, SPELL!" Mumbo yells annoyed.

Mumbo puts the face near his mouth again and sings..

SUPER SPELL: UNPOSSESS

(All drunks in the Lagoon)

"Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum, Majuju Boo, Majuju Boo, Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum Eakum Bokum EAT YOU UP!" Mumbo sings.

Suddenly, thousands of angry drunks run towards Mumbo and Jamjars!

"Uh-oh." Mumbo says..

All the drunks stop in front of Jamjars and Mumbo and beat both of them up!

A drunk barfs on Jamjars and Mumbo, another hits both on the head with his Empty Bear bottle (cracking it into pieces).

*Inside Mumbo's Skull.*

A lot of banging is heard.

"Um, how much longer till Mumbo is done?" Banjo asks.

"Your voice is making me sick, can't you see I am playing Mumbo's Making Doom Advanced!" Kazooie yells at Banjo while playing with Mumbo's Gameboy Advanced.

"But Kazooie, shouldn't we help?" Banjo asks.

"NO! Now shutup!" Kazooie yells.

*Half an Hour later in Mumbo's Skull.*

Mumbo comes in with casts all over his body, riding on a wheelchair.

"Um, Mission Failed." Mumbo says.

Jamjars comes in with Casts and a wheelchair also.

"Um.. Eh, you lost 1/16 of your magic meter Mumbo.." Jamjars says.

"Um, well, okay bear, it seems that the drunks are turning smarter and more evil, there is no solution." Mumbo says.

"Hey, Jamjars, since you are here, I guess you can teach us everything!" Banjo says.

"What! NO!" Jamjars yells..

"Tell us Jamjars." Kazooie says.

"Ah fine.. Cheater.. 105 notes, stuff, fine, I teach you." Jamjars says.

"What?" Banjo asks.

"You have enough notes for the move." Jamjars says.

"Okay.. Teach us." Kazooie says.

Jamjars gets out his stick and starts moving again.

Getting Drunk

"When you are low on health and wish not to be! Drink some beer for recovery! You'll get drunk, yes it's quite true, using your pee is needed to survive too! After done with the bladder your have a hangover, and use some quick sober to get the job down instead of depending on your damn lucky four leaf clover!" Jamjars says.

"What?" Banjo asks.

"I'm teaching you how to get drunk, which is very true, now drink some beer and make a giant smiley face too." Jamjars says.

"Isn't this ripping off Conker?" Kazooie asks.

"He is dead, er, undead, but you can't use the move anyway Kazooie, well, you can get drunk, but that's it!" Jamjars says.

"What is the point of this immature move? Mumbo don't get it." Mumbo asks.

"Oh course you don't get it, you shaman creature." Jamjars says.

"Can we perform the move separate?" Banjo asks.

"Yes, both of you can, of course, only you can urinate." Jamjars says.

"What's the point of me getting drunk then?" Kazooie asks.

"I don't know, fit in with the crowd, now good bye." Jamjars says.

Jamjars rides his wheelchair out of the skull.

"Mumbo have idea.." Mumbo says.

"What is it?" Banjo asks.

"Lets make the drunks happy!" Mumbo says.

"How do we do that without getting killed?" Banjo asks.

"Good point." Mumbo says..

"Um, okay, good bye." Banjo says..

Banjo and Kazooie walk outside the skull.

"Wait! YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME BACK MY GAMEBOY ADVANCED!" Mumbo yells.

*Jolly Bar Lagoon.*

Banjo and Kazooie walk outside and notice the lake is fully evaporated.

Banjo and Kazooie walk in where the lake used to be and inspect it.

"Um, this is unusual.." Banjo says.

"Banjo! Something is up! Face it!" Kazooie yells.

Banjo suddenly notices a small crack on the ground.

"What is this?" Banjo asks.

Banjo walks up to the crack, suddenly it widens and Banjo and Kazooie fall in.

*Jolly Bar Lagoon, In the lake caverns.*

Banjo and Kazooie fall all the way down and hit solid ground.

"Ow.." Banjo complains.

Banjo gets back up and looks around, notices unusual structure, and finds a Blue Jinjo.

"Pick me up you dumbarse!" the Jinjo yells!

Banjo walks up to the Blue Jinjo, and the Jinjo spins around and disappears.

Suddenly, it turns out the light Blue Jinjo was on a strange switch, and the water level rises up, however, not high enough..

Banjo looks up and still sees the crack while he swims on the surface.

"Damn it! Get this damn thing over with, I wanna go home and watch porn!" Kazooie yells.

"Yeah! Well too bad!" a strange figure says, the figure is a green fish like human crossover, like the The Creature From The Black Lagoon, and has a pitchfork.

"Um.. That wasn't very descriptive." Kazooie complains.

"Wait a sec, why are you here, and who are you?" Banjo asks.

"I'm the Manly Fish and I came to find out why the water level rose!" the Manly Fish says.

"Um, is that your real name?" Kazooie asks.

"ENOUGH! I WILL DESTROY YOU!" the Manly Fish yells!

The Manly Fish jumps in the water with his pitchfork!

"YOU CAN'T WIN! THE AUTHOR WILL MAKE US!" Kazooie yells..

Suddenly, a purple colored version of Manly Fish sneaks up behind Banjo and Kazooie and knocks both of them out.

"Nice job." Manly Fish says..

Manly Fish grabs the fainted Banjo and Kazooie and drags them to his under- see Jail, then locks them in.

*Under-Sea Jail?*

Manly Fish tosses the knocked out heroes in a Jail Cell, locks the door, and drains all the water in the room..

"This was too easy… This wasn't even a drunk." Manly Fish says.

Suddenly, an Evil Bowser laugh is heard instead of the usual witch laugh!





It seems that, Banjo and Kazooie were, defeated? And this Manly Fish guy put them in a water prison, thingy.. Um, what was their crime? And why is the Manly Fish so mean? And what's going to happen to the drunks? Find out in the next chapter, oh.. This story!