Chapter 6- The insanity that is Ultimate Shinnimegami
OMG peeps! I'm sooooooooo sorry I haven't posted this up! My comp crashed and I don't have the internet at home! I couldn't stand being away from you dear readers!
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah... like you people don't know what I'm gonna say. I own Shinnimegami, Siren (New character) and Cargii. I have permission to use Pansy Gal, Chibi Neko and A. Nataku. I don't own anything else except for the plot. But heck, I wanna own Duo!!
*COMMENCE RANTING*
Famous words of Lita: 'Sometimes reality really stinks'
Really. It does. Well, my life does anyway. As if it couldn't suck anymore than it already does... Ah heck. As A. Nataku said in the last chapter, me and Duo won't be in the beginning of this chapter. And I guess you fanfiction fanatics are wondering why. Probably because none of you have Hentai minds like Duo and me. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I'd like to thank my muses that helped me create this chapter
1) Erin Irene S. (Pansy Gal), for the deserted island/beach idea and the pink flamingos
2) Phoebe S. (My sister, aka Cargii), for the original 'Nataku's Sanity' Debate topic
3) Kath S. (Chibi Neko), for the 'Killing Relena' Ideas in all the chapters
4) Krys Wood (Not yet on this site, but will be soon), for the Time topic
*END RANTING*
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Previously on The Great Debate:
Amy: I guess Dr T wasn't such a good father, otherwise 'Taru wouldn't have such a bad mind
Shinnimegami: You're forgetting about Mistress 9
Duo: And Pharaoh 90
Amy: Oh, right!
Serena: Hard to kill the mutha-effers, wasn't it?
Squall: Just like Adel!
Shinnimegami: And Ultimecia!
Heero: And Relena!
Rinoa: Good one
Zell: Dude. How many times is she gonna ask you to kill her?
Heero: I'm gonna wait till she cracks completely
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Pansy Gal: Now, as Shinnimegami ain't here, I'LL take the reigns of this debate
Hotaru: I think that I should, because this is my mommy's story!
Chibi Neko: 'Taru, you're 14. Dream on.
Hotaru: So anyway, we need a new topic
Michelle: As I said earlier. Nataku's Sanity
A. Nataku: I WILL destroy you, Neptune
Trista: How about... Time shouldn't be tampered with?
Serena: You gonna be on the Negative then?
Trista: What makes you think that?
Raye: You're the Guardian of Time
Trista: Oh yeah! I forgot! My bad...
Rini: Luna P, you're acting kinda funny...
Trista: I know, Small Lady
*The whole gang is on a beach in the middle of No Man's Land. No civilization for miles. The only thing we know about this island is that it belongs to no-one but that zany blonde Gundam pilot we all know and love. Well, maybe not all of us... (I'm referring to Quatre, if you simpletons didn't know). A. Nataku is grumbling about insanity, while Fei-Fei is droning on about injustice (Getting familiar?). Fujin is acting as though she couldn't care less, as is Raijin (MADE FOR EACH OTHER, HUH?!?!). Pansy Gal and Quat man are sunbathing (Pansy is turning a nice color. But Quatre just stays pale). Chibi Neko and Heero are plotting ways to kill Relena. The Senshi are training and its obvious Lita and Hotaru are kickin' major ass (They're related to me, after all). Trowa is reading, with the keeper of time looking over his shoulder. And no, Luna P is not interested in Trowa. Get that thought out of your heads! The SeeD's (minus Rinny) are chatting, and Selphie's still bouncing around for no apparent reason. Sans Duo and Shinnimegami.*
Hotaru: HELLO PEOPLE?!?!? WE HAVE A NEW DEBATE!!!!!
*Above flies a flock of flamingos. Neon pink flamingos*
Rini: Ohhh, pwetty birdies!!!
Serena: Pinky pinky pinky!!!
*An unknown visitor arrives. Along with an 'I Love Trowa' shirt and a Trowa plushie (Don't you just wish?), we can see it's a Trowa fangirl*
Pansy Gal: Hiya Siren!!!
(AN yes, I gave her the nickname. This is a buddy of mine, formally known as Farah. And she doesn't know who GF Siren is! I didn't tell her, coz she'd kick my ass for mentioning FF8. But I told her about GF Sirens' 'Silent Voice' attack. She agreed to go by that name coz she thinks it gets her closer to Trowa.)
(Another AN- Trowa's nickname is 'The worlds most un-funny silent clown. However, Pansy, Neko, Nataku and I prefer to call him Silent Bob)
Siren: Yo! Wassup?
Quatre: Eh
Pansy Gal: Do yourself a favor and read that little sign over there
Siren: *Reads aloud* This beach/island belongs to Master Quatre Raberba Winner, who is the hottest blonde guy around. Just try and sue him. But be prepared to lose squillions, puny mortal! *Ok so it's a big sign! So sue me!*
Pansy Gal: Funny, ain't it?
Siren: Did you write this yourself, Ez?
Pansy Gal: I may have...
A. Nataku: Face it, Erin. You're the only one who's going to get that stupid blonde dickhead. No ones gonna try to stea-
Cargii: (OV) He's mine! MINE, I TELL YOU!!!! MINE!!!!
Pansy Gal: Think again, Phoebz! He's my blonde boy!
Quatre: *Sweatdrop* Phoebe, I thought you liked Zell
Cargii: (OV) I do, but...
Zell: AH HECK NO!!!! KEEP IT AWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!
Cargii: (OV) WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'IT'?!?!?!
Squall: Oh, bubble burst, sis!
Cargii: (OV) Damn you, bro! *appears out of thin air* How could you, Squallykins?
Squall: *v.v'* ANTHEA!!!!!!! DID YOU TELL HER TO CALL ME THAT?!?!?!
Shinnimegami: (OV) Yup!
Squall: Errrrgghhh...
Selphie: *Bounces up and down (still going!!! NO, NOT THAT WAY, YOU HENTAI AUDIENCE!!!)* I have an idea!
Shinnimegami: (OV) Congratulations!
Selphie: *Doesn't get the insult* How about we all dress up as characters from FF7?!
Squall: Nuh-uh, no chance in hell! I will not be caught DEAD in a Cloud Strife getup!
Shinnimegami: (OV) OHHH!!! CAN I BE AERIS?!?!?!
Quistis: No, I wanna be Aeris!
Lita: Quis, you can be Tifa!
Quistis: *Groans*
Zell: I guess I have to be Barret then?
Shinnimegami: (OV) Actually, I have a better idea. How about we do this debate? *pops up at the mansion*
Duo: Wha... Hold up, Ants! *Also pops up*
Wufei: So you decided to enlighten us with your presence?
Duo: Yup!
Quatre: What were you two doing anyway?
Pansy Gal: Need you ask?
*Both Shinnimegami and Duo blush heaps. Seriously. Duo... blushing!!!*
Quatre: Oh, right! Stupid question!
A. Nataku: *Mumbles about something that could get her killed by the two deathies*
Shinnimegami: I heard that, bitch!
A. Nataku: Then you're not deaf
Shinnimegami: No shit, Sherlock
(AN I've been slacking off with this chapter... I'm too busy listening to my midis again. HALF WAY THROUGH MOON REVENGE!!!! Ok, so they're not mp3's. I'm working on it!)
Pansy Gal: Ya know, I seem to remember that time in 7th Grade where we us Authors had to sing the whole motherfucking ABBA Medley
Siren/ Chibi Neko/ A. Nataku/ Pansy Gal/ Shinnimegami: Mamma Mia!
Serena: Poor dears
Raye: If I had a cent for every time I heard a parody for an ABBA song, I'd be a Gajillionare!
Shinnimegami: *Sings in a mocking voice*
There was something in your hair last night
The flakes were white
It's dandruff! (1)
Pansy Gal: *Also sings in a mocking voice*
Yes, I've been broken hearted
Green since the day you farted (2)
A. Nataku: NOT funny
Shinnimegami: OH! I know a funny Star Wars parody!!!!! *Sings*
A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the Federation in
To maybe cut off a little slack
Duo: I know that one!!! *Also sings. Ok... the idea of Duo singing makes me giddy. So sue me!!*
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked to doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from bad gas
And met Jar-Jar and Boss Nass
We took a drongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy
Both: Oh my, my
This here Anakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he's just a small fry
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Singing "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" (3) *The two deathies laugh hysterically*
Pansy Gal: You two are HOPELESS!!
Shinnimegami: You're welcome!
Chibi Neko: ABSOLUTELY hopeless...
Shinnimegami: I hate my life...
Lita: Same...
Shinnimegami/ Lita: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.....
Squall: Your fault. Edea-mamma tried to be a good mom but you guys ignored her
Shinnimegami: We already have a mom, numbnuts!
Lita: UURRRAAAGGHHHHH!! Squall, I question your sanity
Pansy Gal: Jup-Jup, don't steal my lines!
Lita: Then don't call me Jup-Jup! My name is Lita!!! L-I-T-A!!
Pansy Gal: ... Jup-Jup!!!
Chibi Neko: You go girl!
A. Nataku: *Is still grumbling*
Serena: Jupiter, don't let it get to you. For the sake of humanity!
Lita: *Starts grumbling about a short blonde ditz (Not Quatman)*
Serena: *Glares at the Author for writing the rude comment* I'M NOT SHORT, SHINNIMEGAMI!!!
Shinnimegami: Yeah you are
Serena: Meany-mo!
Lita: Shorty! Shorty!
Serena: That's it, Jupiter! Moon Eternal Power! *Transforms into Eternal Sailor Moon... with the full gold fuku and the angel wings... itai v.v' *
Lita: Jupiter! Crystal Power! MAKE-UP! *Transforms into Super Sailor Jupiter in the complete green and pink fuku*
Moon: You shall die!
Jupiter: In my next life... Jupiter Oak Evolution!
Shinnimegami: Sis, you're going insane... *doesn't need to do the shithouse incantation to transform* Eternal! *Becomes Eternal Sailor Shinnimegami*
Jupiter: I forgot you could do that
Pansy Gal: I can do that too! *Becomes Sailor Pansy*
Shinnimegami: *Dressed in black miniskirt with purple bows (Opposite to Saturn)* Necromancy! *Full undead army pops up, scratching their heads* Kill my pretties, kill!
Undead 1: Huh?
Undead 2: What are we doing here?
Shinnimegami: I said, KILL!!
Undead 11267768436876438: I'm hungry
Undead 44: Same
All undead: Ug-ug-ug *Departs for the Underworld aka Home, chanting ug-ug-ug all the way back*
Shinnimegami: Oh fine. Who needs you? DEATH!!!
*Planet Namek...*
Goku: Whoa! Strong force of energy coming from Earth!
Gohan: Must be that Author
Videl: Oh, great...
Hercule: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
Videl: Shut up, dad!
*All on Namek watch as Afro-man gets beaten up by his own daughter (Videl Rules!)*
*Mansion...*
Hotaru: Mommyyyyyyy!!!!!! *Is slicing at Raye with her glaive*
Shinnimegami: Yes?
Hotaru: Help
Raye: MARS FLAME SHOOTER!! Ha! Take that, you disproportioned amateur!
Hotaru: DISPROPORTIONED AMATUER?!?!?! Ooh, you will die, Mars
Raye: Yeah, riiiiiiiiight
Hotaru: Mommy, I need to borrow Diablos
Shinnimegami: Oh, okay. DARK MESSENGER!!!
Diablos: *Pops up* Grunt
Shinnimegami: Help 'Taru, kay?
Minutes: 30 of me pass! *30 minutes pass*
*Everyone has settled down again. Raye is quietly bleeding from a cut in her head. Yeah, that's right. My daughter will kill you. Sounds like Heero? Yup, thought so*
Shinnimegami: *Drops onto the couch and conjures up a latte* Well, well, welly-well-well!!!
Raye: *Pissed off* Well what??
Hotaru: Can it Mars
Raye: In hell, Saturn
Shinnimegami: If I hear another planet name, I'll-
Raye: Dammit Saturn!
Shinnimegami: That's it! *Chases after Mars with the purple LionHeart* Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!!!!!!!
Pansy Gal: Er... right...
A. Nataku: *Big breath, starts screaming* MOON SUN MARS VENUS JUPITER MERCURY SATURN URANUS NEPTUNE PLUTO!!!!!!!!!
Serena: You forgot Cosmos
A. Nataku: COSMOS!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Fujin:
RAGE!!!
Raijin: Ah dammit......
Fujin: PAIN
Shinnimegami: *Beats up on certain silver haired girl with eyepatch* I'LL GIVE YOU PAIN!!!!!!!!!!
Fujin: SHIT!!!! *Screams*
Seifer: DON'T... TOUCH... HER...
Shinnimegami: *Sweatdrop* So, you decided to save your girlfriend? Hmmm...
Raijin: *Looks sad... Well, ya all know he likes Fujin too! But it matters who Fujin likes, yes?* Aww... *Sulks in the corner*
Pansy Gal: Poor bubba!!!!!!!!
Squall: AH! ALMASY, MY ARCH NEMESIS!!!!
Seifer: ??? * ^.^ * Oh, it's you, Puberty Boy!
Squall: *o\ . /o* WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?!
Seifer: Heh... chicken wusses, the lot of ya!
Quistis: That's it! Detention! Both of you!!
Zell: Uh... Quis, you're not an instructor anymore
Quistis: Wanna bet? *Holds out letter with Cid's signature on it* I let Cousin Anthea do the talking!
Shinnimegami: It was hard, wasn't it?
Quistis: Yeah, Xu almost killed you
Shinnimegami: She did nothing of the sort! I broke her arm!!!
Nida: And her pride
Shinnimegami: Nah, she just bruised that
Chibi Neko: Er, right
Shinnimegami: Talking wasn't even half of it! I threatened Cid with 'Taru's glaive!
Hotaru: And Yippy for that!
Duo: Deathies forever!!!!!
Shinnimegami/ Hotaru: YEAH!!!!
Relena: *Small voice* Pacifism forever!!
Everyone else: ???
Relena: I SAID, PACIFISM FOREVER!!!
Heero: Ah hell no. Self detonation forever!!! * o.- *
Chibi Neko: I agree with Hee-chan!
Pansy Gal: You would
Chibi Neko: *Big grin* Yup!
Relena: Mind telling me what YOU'RE doing here?
Chibi Neko: I'M here with my hunky boyfriend! You should be dead!
Relena: I should?
Shinnimegami: Haven't we gone through this already?
Hotaru: Less talking, more butt- kicking!
Duo: Great idea!
Shinnimegami: I was just thinking that!
*The three deathies charge at the so- called Pacifism Princess with their weapons held high... again*
Pansy Gal: One tracked minds...
Chibi Neko: Hai
Siren: I hate my life
Lita: My line!
Siren: MINE!!!
Lita: MIIIIIIIINNE!!!!
Siren: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEE!!!!!!!
*This continues for an hour...*
Lita: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNEE!!!!!!
Siren: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEE!!!!!!!
*There's only one statement that can explain this random act of insanity...*
Lita: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNEE!!!!!!
Siren: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEE!!!!!!!
Lita: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNEE!!!!!!
Siren: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEE!!!!!!!
*...I'm on a sugar high*
Lita: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNEE!!!!!!
Siren: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEE!!!!!!!
Lita: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNEE!!!!!!
Siren: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEE!!!!!!!
Serena: SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shinnimegami: Ah. There is sanity in this world...
Siren/ Serena/ Lita: Damned straight!
Pansy Gal: ...dear God!
Chibi Neko: ... D'oh!
Shinnimegami: Mothereffing Simpsons
Hotaru: What's wrong with them?
Shinnimegami: Nothing, deary. I'm just saying that Bart's the only decent character
Bart: Hell yeah!
Homer: Why you little-!
*Bart gets strangled by Homer*
Cargii: Why the hell are you two here?
Bart/ Homer: ... Dunno
*Simpsons leave*
Serena: See y'all! I gotta go home and harass my mom for food!
Everyone else: Bai bai!
Shinnimegami: Well, since it's so close to Easter, I'm gonna make the next chappie the Easter Special. Good luck to me
Hotaru: Don' worry momsie-wumsie, Daddie and I will help
Shinnimegami: Please do NOT call me momsie-wumsie, it makes me sound old. I'm 18 and I've already adopted a kid, aren't I special!
Siren: ... *T_T*
Squall: ... *v.v*
Trowa: ... *x.x*
A. Nataku: Er, right
Shinnimegami: My life is an endless nightmare
Cargii/ Squall/ Lita: Yep, and we have to put up with you
Raye: Sucked in, buddy!
Shinnimegami: Shut up, Marsie
Hotaru/ Duo: Yeah, shut up!
*The three Deathies attack Raye (Ok, to be honest, Raye acts like that Peacecraft bitch, dontcha think so? Are we all sure they aren't sisters?)*
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Endnotes:
(1)- Okay, I was serious about the whole ABBA thing. WE HAD TO SING THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING MEDLY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Anyway, this was a song my dad taught me, it's a parody of Fernando. I know it's wrong but... well fuck it.
(2)- Um, another ABBA parody... Mamma Mia. Please don't sue me.
(3)- A funny Weird 'Al' Yankovic song I heard on the internet. Aw, come on! As if you don't know it! …You don't? Oh, ok. It's called Anakin Guy, a parody of American Pie by Don Mclean. Have fun!
I have a webpage I'm gonna post soon. You see, Chibi Neko, Cargii, Pansy, Neko, Nataku and Siren, plus a few other people, and I are called the Gundam Galz. I don't know why, I just thought up the name while listening to my substitute Chemistry teacher drone on about gold for an hour. I'll put a notice in one of the upcoming chapters when I've posted it. Along with the web address.
And a little background reading-
Me- My nickname is Shinnimegami, but my real name is Anthea. In one of my other fics, I'm called Rika (Heartilly, but it becomes Maxwell after a while ^.^). I have a four foot long ponytail, and it never gets messy!!! DUO IS MINE!!!
Kath- She's Chibi Neko, but is Atalanta in my other fic (To Duel a Sorceress). Ultra cool Queen of Spandex. Has really nice hair… very… blonde. A.K.A. Mrs Trigger Happy.
Erin- She's Pansy Gal, and is Aurora (Maxwell- she's Duo's long lost lil sis) in To Duel a Sorceress. Blonder than Quatre and Neko combined. Sad, ne? Can be a bit wussy, but then again, she IS made for Quackie.
Farah- Is Siren and Aislin my other fic. Has this awesome purple/blue hair. Is WAY in love with the Clown.
Alex- Is A. Nataku and Eleni in the other fic. Deeply sees herself as Wufei's wife re-incarnated. In most of my classes at school.
Phoebe- Is Cargii (Heartilly, one of my long lost sisters), and is in my other fic (Hey, I can't have two girls chasing after Quatman, but what the hell!). My little sister by two years.
Krysteen- Is Neen and doesn't like Wufei. Seriously despises the bastard. Has black hair with red streaks. Thinks Duo is Gay. And Quatre. Very sadistic. Cough cough.
So long my minions! Don't forget to review!
