Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and I have no clue why anyone in their right mind would accuse me of it, because if I did, I wouldn't be posting on this site, and I would be some rich old man eating sushi and living in Japan right now...But the Raccoon is mine!

Author's note: I wrote this fic about three years ago, and my knowledge of fics was greatly limited back then. (or maybe blissfully ignorant. or maybe obsessive. I'm not quite sure which one yet.) Thanks to Jessica and Jessica (Yes, there are two) for introducing me to the fanfic world, specifically GW.

~The Dreaded Lollipops of Evil~
By Burnt Rice

Chapter 1: The Evil arrives

*Trowa was reading. Heero was sitting down, polishing his handy-dandy

semi-automatic. Quatre was out shopping. Wufei was playing Pokemon, calling it weak and wondering if Pikachu was made of marshmallows. And Duo was outside, poking a dead raccoon with a stick. Suddenly, Quatre burst in, panting, with a brown bag in his hand. Trowa looked at him as if he was saying, 'Dang it. Back already? I was just getting to the part when Harry was going to kiss Snape...' It was something he had been fantasizing for weeks now, ever since the 7th Harry Potter book had come out. Rumors said that Harry was finally going to come out of the closet, and as soon as he got Snape, he would die a painful death. As it turned out, the book was sold out all over the world by anti-Harry Potter fans, who were forever morally opposed to Dobby, who had a certain likeness to that one character on that one Hobbit movie. But enough of that. Back to Quatre.*

"You guys!", said the blondie. "I JUST NOW paid $200.00 IN CASH for five everlasting lollipops!" The wannabe-pacifist looked ecstatic. Only he would be willing to do something that asinine. And maybe Duo, too, if he had access to that type of money.

Heero, our main man, gave a look of pure, undaunting, suspicion. "Are you sure Relena didn't poison those?" It wasn't as if Relena Peacecraft had actually purposefully tried to make the pilots sick and maybe die....let's just say she wasn't exactly the Iron Chef.

"Positive." replied Quatre. "There was this really short lady, at least I think she was a lady, on the street, mumbling something about spaceships and intergalactic death and doom, and whatnot. She had striking pink spiky hair. She told me to call her by Little Washu, or something....Anyway, she showed me the candy, and I just couldn't resist the offer! Think of it, all of us will suffer from diabetes and heart attacks in only half the time it would strike us without the sugary supplements!" At this, Quatre got all stary eyed, probably from the idea that they would suffer together, heaven forbid that they would be together on any other occasion, at least if Heero couldn't help it.

At this Trowa put down his book, and looked into the brown back that supposedly contained the cause of their early eminent demise. The colors of the lollipops were: pink, blue, green, red, and purple. Duo walked in the room, carrying a stick that was suspiciously covered in raccoon fur. "Hey guys! You'll never guess what I got hidin' under my bed...." He trailed off, having just spotted the very purpose of his being currently being held in Trowa's arms. "Is that a purple lollipop?" He twitched. Purple was his favorite color in the whole wide world, next to black. Duo snatched the the treat out of the silent one's hands, and immediately proceeded to devour it's delectable sweetness. The whole scene was quite disturbing, actually. Two out of the three pilots in the room cringed at Duo's caveman-like approach to eating.

Quatre, on the other hand, was taking a leaf out of Duo's book and predictably took the pink lollipop. Tasting it he said, "Hmmm. You know, this sweet would go quite well with some iced tea. I've decided to be unpredictable and renounce Earl Grey tea. I've just aquired the Lipton iced tea company, now that I mention it..." He went on a for a while like that. Trowa was not about to be outdone by Duo and Quatre, so he took the green lollipop. Not suprisingly, he didn't say anything. He just enjoyed the free candy.

Heero warily watched the other Gundam pilots, wondering how in the world was it that he got stuck living with these weirdos and cursing his endless stream of bad luck. After about three minutes, after having made sure that the other idiots had not gotten food poisoning, he couldn't resist the temptation and discreetly made for the red candy. "Hn" was the only sound that came from the perfect warrior as he shamefully proceeded to eat Quatre's purchase.

Wufei, whom I have only mentioned once in this fic before now, was still in the next room, playing Pokemon 'Nataku' version and humming in an off-key voice along with the catchy elevator music that came from his Gameboy's mini speakers. He was obilvious to what was going on in the next room. Lucky him. Well, 'Ignorance is Bliss', as the saying goes. He was munching on marshmallows, and was convinced that that was the unknown substance that Pikachu was composed of. It was his lifelong dream to solve this perplexing mystery, and just to prove it, he was already 46 hours into his game, though the game had only been out for 24 hours.

Next door, something strange was about to occur. Duo had just finished his purple delight, and his caveman-like ways had started to fade. He burped, and smiled sheepishly. "I think I'll just go back to my raccoon, uh, I mean room, and..Uuuuunnnnggh......" He crouched over, and cradled his abdomen in his arms. The other pilots looked alarmingly at Duo. All three of their immediate thoughts more or less went along these lines: 'Ungh? What's that? A cry of tortuous pain? It must've been the candy................... Crap.'

Duo was still groaning agonizingly, muttering colorful words under his breath. Coughing and sputtering could be heard from Quatre, and soon after, Trowa's face turned an unbecoming pale shade of green, still not allowing himself to make a sound, of course.

Heero was wearing a crazed look. 'What the fuzz is going to happen to ME?!' ,he thought. Of course, he didn't care that the other pilots were currently wallowing in their pain. What a selfless man....Heero proceeded to take out his ever-so-trusty semi- automatic, his only comfort. His crazed look was replaced by one of pure, undaunting........FEAR! Poor Heero, what was he going to do?!

And still, Wufei was playing Pokemon 'Nataku' version. Ah, Ignorance IS Bliss......

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~

GASP!! How will our heros get out of this one?!

A/N- I also don't own Pokemon, Harry Potter, and Little Washu. Just an afterthought in case I get sued for using them or something. And I actually LIKE Harry Potter, so there!

So, what d'ya think? Reviews and flames are welcome. I don't care what you say, I can handle it! I LIVE for constructive criticism! Or maybe just critcism! Just review, and be happy, and read more. Wait, that's what you're doing right now. Nevermind. I want to know if a 2nd chapter is desired. Bye for now.