LEAVING LOVE

Chapter 1

Chakotay stepped up onto the transporter pad, his bag slung over his shoulder. Kathryn met his eyes for only a moment before giving the order.

"Initiate transport." She held her voice steady, keeping her emotions at bay. She didn't look at him as the blue beam engulfed him, but as the last traces of him disappeared, she whispered, "I love you, Chakotay."

"I beg your pardon, Captain?" Tuvok's flat voice broke into her thoughts, scattering them. She looked up.

"What?" she asked sharply.

"You said something, did you not?" She gazed at the stoic Vulcan for a moment.

"No—no, Tuvok. I'm going to my quarters now. I'll see you at 0700 hours." She turned and fled the room, walking as fast as she could down the long corridors of Voyager. She reached her door, punching in the security code and streaking across the main room into the bedroom. Throwing herself onto the bed, she cried, huge sobs racking her tiny frame. She remembered exactly one month ago, when Chakotay had proposed to her after six months of quiet courtship. There had been a fierce battle of wills deep down inside her, but in the end, her head won out over her heart, and she'd refused, saying she didn't love him anymore. His pained face had haunted her ever since. Each day, the hurt in his eyes had grown, and each day, her heart had broken a little more at the sight. And now, he'd left, never to know that she'd been lying, that she was hurting, that her heart was breaking, that she loved him with every fiber of her being…that if she were to marry him, it would mean certain death for him. Her father; Justin Tighe, her first fiancé; Mark Johnson, her second fiancé. Kathryn did not want Chakotay added to the list of casualties. Were he to be, were he to die, she could not live with herself, knowing that she had caused his death only by loving him. She cried herself to sleep, her face buried in her pillow to muffle the sound.

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The next day, at 0700 hours, the Alpha shift reported to the bridge, their captain in the lead. She immediately retired to her ready room, turning the bridge over to Tuvok. She remained there until the shift ended.

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