"Confessions" by A.K.A (Pooki Ze Great)

Summary: A story told through many viewpoints, chronicled in journal entries through 3 months' time. M/P slash, and not a happy ending (as if I'D write a happy ending...)

Warning: Not very cheerful, but hell, ya know you love it... Slash, i.e. guy on guy shit, so uhhh, don't like it, just don't read it. Because if you send me flames, I will set my rabid radioactive hamsters on you. Be afraid... be kind of a little bit teeny weeny afraid..

Archiving: Um. I have no idea what that is...

Disclaimer: I own the following things: two guitars, the copyrights to all my songs, and my band's sites and names and emails. I do NOT own the following things: a fast internet connection, a DVD player, and, oh yeah, Lord Of The Rings. That's Tolkien's... but I'VE GOT MY RICE CRISPIES!!! BEAT THAT, OWNER AND CREATOR OF THE BEST BOOKS EVER!!! *whimpers* *clutches her Rice Crispies to her chest, looking around wildly* *looks at her TV (watching FotR), starts to cry*

Rating: It's quite tame right now, but it'll go up. Ohhhhh yes it will go verrry far up.. *evil grin*

Chapter: 1/?

Pairing: Merry/Pippin

Feedback: Please yes, I save it all and print it off and then feel like slightly less of a loser.

Category: Romance/angst/tragedy

A/N: Well for this chapter's quote, and for all the quotes basically, it is I, not the character from whose viewpoint the chapter is, that puts it there. Anyways, for this quote specifically, it was originally from a Corrs song, but I'm changing it around a bit so that you know which part of the quote is referring to whom (M=Merry, P=Pippin, obviously), and I've changed it all from "she" to "he." So in its original form, all the "he"s are "she"s, and it has no separation, okay? Alrighty.

A/N2: Thank you for already some lovely reviews, and THANK YOU Emma, because I had not thought of using torture before you suggested it, and now I have an absolutely delicious chapter in my head (a bit of a sick person, oh well), and well basically, to clear any doubts, Merry will be causing most of the pain in it, but he hates himself for it, showing that he is in fact, good underneath it all, though to the end he will not believe it. It's basically going to be very very mushy, in an angsty, cruel, tragic, I Hate You way... Anyways you'll find out as we go on, I really do intend to make this over at least three months' time... hope I can come up with enough chapters for it... So yep, that's the basics, and as a sidenote, Frodo is also quite cruel at the beginning, and Pippin definitely has his mean side... Making the hobbits, I guess, a bit more like our society is today.
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"*P* At night, he's alone, he's dreaming of somebody new. His someone for to hold, he's prayin the dream will come true. Show me the way, show me show me how. Help me be brave- for love. Show me the way, show me tell me how. What do you say? *M* There's a pain in his heart, he's tryin so hard to unwind. Makes him cry in midnight, when visions so real make him blind. Wants to break through the fear, erasing the scars from within." -The Corrs, 'Hurt Before'

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I believe that something has started this New Years.

Earlier today, I was cleaning up after the last of Mr. Merry's guests, who has just staggered out of the house not 5 hours ago, even though the party had ended 4 days earlier.

I was cleaning the door's window when through the stained glass I saw a figure cautiously unlock the gate and sheepishly step onto the pathway leading up to the door.

He instantly intrigued me. Slight of figure and quick of step, he did a dance before my very eyes, creeping a few steps forward, then dashing back to the gate, repeating this over and over until he finally stood at the door and knocked. I was ready for him. Remembering not to smile widely or show I had watched him, I opened the door.

He is young, but not too much younger than Mr. Merry. In his late tweens, I'd guess. He has bright green eyes and a clear polite face. He had a childish air to him, but not that of a happy child: more so one beaten and bruised, broken and corrupted by the cruel world us poorer folk knew so well. I decided to be kind.

"Exactly how can I assist you young sir," said I, watching this fragile and jumpy, yet somehow cheerful boy with wonder.

"Um, I had heard... That is... Perhaps... Are you looking for anyone to work here?"

I was shocked. This poor thing? Working for a tyrant like Mr. Merry? He would surely crack. But he was very thin and wasted-looking, so against my better judgement I showed him in.

I knew there would be trouble.

-RC, Jan 5th 1419