Chapter Eight: Graveyard
Lantis scanned the sky for any sign of motion; Cephiro was once again in danger. He couldn't put his finger on it yet, but it was there.
There was a hole in Cephiro maybe, as large as the hole in his heart. He missed her too much anymore. He hated having to wake in the morning and not see her shining, exuberant face. He hated even more that he couldn't see how she was.
"You're truly that worried aren't you?" Lantis turned and saw Eagle leaning on the doorframe.
"Something dark moves over Cephiro," Lantis told him, turning back to the balcony.
"Clef is uneasy," Eagle answered, "but what could it be? Geo and Zazu report only good. Tatra and Tartra are here now, along with Lady Aska, everything is in good order."
"It's the Magic Knights," his voice was so quiet, but Eagle heard it and his eyes shot down. "They're being torn apart Eagle, I know it, and you know it. Clef has seen them, I don't care what he says; he's seen them. I've tried, but he's either put a block on it or my magic's not strong enough. Something is terribly wrong."
"I know, I wish that I…we could just see h…them…again," Eagle faltered, but Lantis didn't look at him. It was understood between them.
Here I said
"I'll leave you be then," Eagle turned and walked out, knowing very well what had just passed between them once more.
Lantis sighed and looked over Cephiro once more. He wasn't really looking at Cephiro though; he was simply staring. The Magic Knight of Fire was once more on his mind.
"Hikaru, if only you knew…best friends…more than that," he closed his eyes and leaned against the rail, breathing in the clean air.
*"Hikaru I…" he stumbled when she smiled at him.
"Yeah?" she asked as she giggled softly, looking at a tiny butterfly that landed on a nearby flower.
"Um…I…" he had never been at a loss of words before. "Never mind."
She looked at him, concerned, but stayed quiet.*
He had been afraid to lose her then; afraid to lose even her friendship, so he stayed silent. What had that gotten him? She was gone now, forever.
Don't even let this go
His hesitation had cost him everything he had truly cared about. He blamed himself for everything, even for the others. He slammed his hands against the rail and began to pace. Even the others…his mind drifted to the pale Prince who didn't even have the strength to support his slowly darkening country. He thought of the Palu and Guru who would barely eat or speak. He thought of his best friend who was tired even easier now and devoted all his time to trying to hold up this country. He thought of the girls who had lost their best friends and in turn lost so much weight. And the sword master who had lost inspiration and was too busy worrying about his betrothed to worry about himself.
Somehow he could have stopped this. If he had told Hikaru, maybe, just maybe she would have stayed and then she would be here. Her shining attitude would keep them all safe and happy. Her determined Will would bring the others safely to and from this world. It all came back to him and his stupidity.
And it's, hey, to that old man
He could never love again, not after this. He knew that he wasn't the only one who would never love again. He knew that none of the people would. The palace inhabitants would never be truly happy again.
He could do nothing but stare at this world that he called his home. He could do nothing but stare and be silent. She plagued his every waking thought and at night he dreamt of her.
Sometimes he thought that he would be better off dead. He was nothing but a failure and a dead weight. Then he thought of the people who needed him and forced himself to stay strong.
He hated his brother, being able to be happy and with his love for all eternity. He only prayed that one day he would be able to be with Hikaru.
I'm coming in the Graveyard
He couldn't help but feel jealousy as his best friend walked in the room though. He knew as well as Eagle that Hikaru loved him too. She had told him once. He had wanted to tell her that she wasn't allowed, but who was he to say? She felt what she felt, if she loved Eagle then so be it. His mind wandered though; whom did she cry for? When they first heard of the news who did she cry for? Who did she miss most?
He would never want to see her unhappy, he wished that she could be here even if it was only to be with Eagle. He wanted her to be happy, and he didn't want to ever have her cry. If that was what it cost he didn't care.
With my little tune
It had been so long, the seasons had changed in their world, and everything in Cephiro had remained the same. The world seemed to get duller by the day. First things of beauty faded, and then everything began to dull and fade out. Vivid colors no longer made sense in his numb mind; sounds didn't register. He was beginning to forget what music was. He hadn't heard it in the palace in so long. It used to drift down the hallways when Umi and Fuu sang together, sometimes Hikaru would join in, but it was rare. He loved to hear her sing though; he loved even more the blush it brought to her cheeks when she discovered someone was listening.
She was so innocent, so pure, so beautiful in every way. He longed to have her in his arms, even as a friend. He longed just to see her radiant eyes. It had been too long, and the world had grown too dark without her in it, with them.
It's june I said
And there was nothing he could do, because she was gone. She was forever missing. She would never be present in Cephiro again. Hands clenched but no one blamed Mokona. He was doing what the world willed; he was doing what was best, or so he tried to explain. He blamed himself, for not making her stay. He blamed himself for not going to her. He could have done anything for her, but he never got the chance because he was hesitant. If once in his life he had had to have the courage to speak up it could have been then, and still he was silent. His curse was knowing that he could have changed everything and having to live with it for the rest of his life.
She's gone
His curse was life itself.
But I'm alive
I'm alive
As the sun began to set he laid down in his bed and thought of her. He imagined that she was next to him. He imagined that she would always be near him. He could hear her sweet voice in his ear. Her shaky voice echoed through his mind, what he could remember of the songs she would sing.
*"Bluebirds sing so sweet in spring
And you're by my side
The world could collapse right now
And I wouldn't mind
But when you're away
The pain is deep
I'll remember you like this
Singing me to sleep."*
He closed his eyes thinking of her, her image in his view. His breathing became controlled and deep, and he prepared himself for another night full of nightmares. Maybe, just maybe though, this night would be different…
I'm in the Graveyard
To sing you to sleep now…
*Sorry the song is a little corny, I just randomly made it up. Dunno, anyway, Read and Review! Arigato! ^.^*
