Disclaimer: Nothing owned by me, but the plot, and a few original characters.

A/N: My first story... well... actually a also had a different stor up, but I had to take it down while it was getting revised... so yeah. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

All was silent at the home of the Weasley's, except of course, for the snores coming from different occupants, and a small humming sound that if followed led to a short, rather plump, middle-aged woman. This woman was in the process of putting 16 candles on the top of a medium sized chocolate cake. The back of the package of candles read, "New and Improved Wizard Wish candles. Say the incantation 'Larson Boswish Kanold Stiff, adding the person in which you wish to receive the cake, after Kanold, and when the person is recognized, the candles will light. After the person blows out the candles they will get their wish."

The lady, Mrs. Weasley, said the incantation, gave the cake to an old, awaiting owl, saying to it, "Take this to Harry, Errol."

As she watched the owl fly out, then almost drop the package from the weight of it, she shouted, "And don't drop it," successfully waking up the rest of the house.

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Asleep for the moment, at the house of 4 Privet Drive, in Surrey, lay a now handsome young man was sleeping, stretched on the bed you could tell the boy was rather cramped. He was 5 foot 10 inches as his toddler bed that he had 'inherited' from Dudley when he had grown out of it was obviously to small.

The boy's alarm clock on the table by his bedside flashed 5:59 a.m., as soon as it changed to six o'clock there was a loud rapping on the door, and a shrieking voice, "Wake up boy, get up!" With that Harry Potter awakened.

Harry got up and stretched. As he went to the mirror he quickly fixed his hair using a muggle product called gel and put on his glasses. They were new and wire rimmed frames, that he had last year after his fight with Voldemort in which he had been victorious, sealing Voldemort's powers in a small stone and adding a spell in which made it so that only he could free Voldemort.

That was what comforted the wizarding world, knowing that there 'savior' would never hurt them. And he wouldn't. But truth be told Harry had only wanted a normal year. That had gone down the drain when he had found out has was a mage, but maybe this year with Voldemort gone it would be. Though with death eaters after him he would have to be on his guard.

Those thoughts in his head Harry got dresses and went down stairs to cook breakfast for his 'family'. Dudley, his over-weight hippo like cousin, had been taken off his diet after the nurse at Smeltings his secondary school, realized that it just wasn't working. So Harry had to now cook about ten pounds of bacon and 3 dozen eggs for breakfast, each morning.

Because of Dudley's stupendous weight the Dursley's had to buy a special chair, just to hold up his bulk. None of this was even the least bit unusual, but what was, was that Dudley seemed to have a girl friend named Ginger.

Ginger was a thin bony girl that reminded Harry heavily of Aunt Petunia. But instead of Aunt Petunia's horse like face, Ginger had beaver like front teeth to continue the chain of Dursleys' or could be Dursley's that resembled animals. To top it off Ginger had been over almost every day this summer, annoying the heck out of Harry with her ultra squeaky voice.

As Harry put the breakfast on the table, and while Dudley started wolfing it down, Uncle Vernon turned to Harry and barked, "Boy, Marge's train comes in at 10 a.m. She's coming to meet Ginger, and I don't want you messing anything up, or blowing her up," at this point Uncle Vernon's face which had recently gone from it's normal blotchy pink, to red, suddenly turned extremely purple. "Do I make myself clear?" he finished.

Harry just looked at his big, fat, rhino-like uncle, and gave a little smirk knowing that he could be hurt by him after all his years of intense magical and physical training, doubled with Quittich. But Harry didn't move a muscle, except for the 200 some that it takes to talk, and replied "Crystal," before sitting down and taking his portion of the breakfast, an egg and two pieces of bacon. He then sat there almost losing his appetite as he watched Dudley gulp down at least half of what he'd made with Uncle Vernon coming in a close second.

At the strike of nine, all the Dursley's left the kitchen, Dudley almost getting stuck in the door, to go along with their daily events. Vernon went to go get dressed and fetch Marge, Petunia got Dudley's new and ...enlarged tux out for him to wear, while Dudley sat on the couch eating chocolate donuts, the trip from the kitchen to the living room had been to much for him.

At half past, Vernon left, making a big show of getting into his new company car, while the nosey housewife's watched, reporting back to their overweight husband, who would mumble and come up with a reason why the car was no good.

After Vernon left Dudley, went up the stairs, huffing and puffing all the way, and then put... struggled into his tux, and went back down stairs to finish his television program, but this time not eating anything for he didn't want to get it on his tux.

He had just finished the dishes when Aunt Petunia came down wearing a frilly, pink cocktail dress, that went horribly with her complection, but probably cost a fortune.

He also had changed into a pair of khakis and a polo shirt. According to Uncle Vernon, if he hadn't he wouldn't be eating anything, for a long time.

Just as the cuckoo clock struck ten - thirty the crunch of gravel was heard outside, followed by the loud slamming of a car door, he could practically see Uncle Vernon wincing in his head.

Uncle Vernon opened the door just as Harry got in position to get Marge's bags. Harry would have gotten an earful if he hadn't been there in time.

Aunt Marge came in and Harry saw she hadn't changed much. She was still a large, red faced Uncle Vernon, with more hair and breasts, and less mustache, not that she didn't have one mind you. The only difference that Harry could see was that her infamous dog, Ripper wasn't accompanying her on this visit.

Marge through her bags to Harry and yelled out, "Where's my Dudley- Duds." Dudley dutifully came into the foyer and gave his aunt a hug and a kiss, collecting a 50 pound note behind her back.

Marge then gave Petunia a kiss on the cheek and turned to Harry, and said, "Don't just stand there boy, take the bags up." Marge watched surprised, at how easily Harry managed to carry the bags, and vowed to make them heavier next time, then turned to Petunia. As Harry carried the bags up he heard Marge explain to Petunia the reason for Ripper's absence, he had an appointment to get his nails clipped this weekend and couldn't miss it.

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Everything was normal for an Aunt Marge visit in the Dursley's houses. Dudley was sitting on the couch watching television and eating one of the many bags of snacks that the Dursley's kept in stock while Dudley was home, and Petunia, Marge, and Vernon were in the kitchen, complaining about... everything, while Harry was upstairs, doing his homework.

Dinner came, as did Ginger, wearing a shockingly yellow dress, even more frivolous then Aunt Petunia's, if possible, and possibly all of the jewelry she owned. Dudley strutted, or rather waddled toward her, greeting her with a, "Hey Babe," and giving her his arm. Harry almost burst out laughing at the sight.

All of the Dursley's, plus Ginger and Harry, sat down for dinner and for once instead of grilling him, Aunt Marge shifted her beady eyes toward Ginger. Harry almost felt sorry for her.

Aunt Marge's vendetta toward Ginger had started right before sitting down. She had spotted Dudley and Ginger, exchange a quick kiss, and now Aunt Marge had to see if this girl was good enough for her, "Little ( A/N: HAHAHA!!!) Dudleykins's."

The first, and only question that Aunt Marge asked was about her family.

"So, Ginger," said Aunt Marge, crossing her sausage like fingers. "What is you family like? Not a bunch of mongrels I hope." she said sliding a glance at Harry.

Ginger was visibly shacking in her seat, at Aunt Marge's thunderous tone.

"M- my father, w-w-works at a-a-a paper factory, he is vice- president." As she spoke Harry realized that her life was probably as the Dursley's life without him. Ginger continued to drone on and on, Harry took a little bit of happiness from the fact that Aunt Marge looked regretful of the question.

An hour later Ginger finished her story about he dalmatian, who only had 19 spots, and the scandal her cross-dressing third cousin had made when he came out of the closet, Aunt Marge either had declared her normal or was to tired to listen to her screechy voice, because she didn't ask her another question all night.

After dinner, the Dursleys' and Ginger, along with Harry retired to the family room for tea, or brandy in Uncle Vernon and Aunt Marge's cases. Marge started to get drunk, and swayed back and forth. After that it was only a few seconds before she started talking about Harry.

Aunt Marge looked at Vernon and said, "Vernon, I don't know why you keep that thing," kicking Harry lightly to indicate that she was talking about him.

"Nothing, but a low down mongrel if you ask me.

I breed dogs, Petunia, dear, so listen when I tell you, it's not your fault he's like this. Even the best have a bad egg or two. And I know ya two tried your best, but he's just stubborn little bitch isn't he.

What can you expect from a mother who never went to an university, and a father that was unemployed. Nothin' I tell ya." And with that she past out, drooling, and almost breaking Ginger's back as she fell on her.

Ginger eventually got up and left after much struggle of pushing Marge off of her, Petunia did the dishes, and Vernon and Dudley watched TV, while Harry just sat there, fists clenched so hard they were drawing blood, before getting up and wishing he was anywhere but here.

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