(A/N: This is a PARODY. It was in no way, shape or form meant to be a real story with good description, spelling, etc. It was meant to not make sense. Also, slash between Suo and Nokoru!! ^___^ Please keep this in mind. Now enough of me blabbing, on to the fic!!!)

Clamp Campus Parody

By Kelly~chan

Kelly M. is a 13 year old Canadian girl who has moved to Japan. Looking through booklets and pamphlets from the town a certain school caught her eye. It was called CLAMP Campus, and it was for the most intelligent of students. Kelly knew that she would not be accepted, for she hardly spoke Japanese fluently and therefore would never pass the enterence exam.

On the day of the exam, Kelly found a copy of answers to the exam, so she took it with her, and copied everything perfectly. She passed with a hundred percent and the teachers were thrilled. Finally, a transfer student who knew Japanese!

She was selected and moved down a grade, because that's how it is. Her first class every morning was Mathematics. 'Even in this school it's the same' Kelly sighed.

She was having difficulty with numbers, and when the teacher left the class to get her coffee, everyone, who had finished because they are smart, broke out in babble. Kelly just gave a frusterated sigh and threw her papers on the floor. She jumped on them until they were quite crumpled. She then yelled the first Japanese that came to her mouth, "TASUKETE!!!!!!!!!!!"

All at once, a figure jumped from the other side of the class and bounded down the aisle to Kelly's desk. He was blond, with blue eyes, and a sweet smile was on his face.

He began to speak to her in Japanese, and she didn't understand a word. She just started crying. The boy was confused, what had he said wrong? This was the first girl that did not faint at his feet or smile and tell her problem. He was worried. Maybe he was losing his charm.

He then looked at her, she was new, and from what the teacher said, she was Canadian. So she must speak English and perhaps French. But if she could not understand and speak Japanese, what was she doing here. The boy, who's very smart, motioned to her to come with him.

Another boy, who is the class next door, saw the blond boy taking Kelly's hand and leading her to the office. THIS boy has blue hair and golden eyes. He fainted in shock!

"my boyfriend!!" he cried but not loud enough for the other boy to hear. "Darn him! He said he was going to be loyal... but the real problem is he's skipping class to help a damsel in distress. What else is new?"

The blond boy heard him and turned around, smiling angellicly. "Just doing my job, Suo."

HISS.

The boy lead her to a room with 3 desks. He made her sit on a chair with holes in it. He took a microphone and plugged it in one of the holes. He motioned talking and sat back in a red chair, smiling happlily.

"Hello..." When Kelly spoke, it came out in Japanese! She was shocked~! So what she had said, came out as "konnichiwa" She decided to introduce herself.

"I'm Kelly, and I'm 13. I'm Canadian if you didn't already know, and I don't speak Japanese..."

The boy spoke into another microphone and it came out in English.

"My name Nokoru Imonoyama, and I am 12 years of age. I am here to help you, my fair lady, with whatever your problem may be."

"I just told you" Kelly said sighingly, "I can't speak Japanese"

"Now you can" he smiled, "anything else I can help you with, my dear lady?"

"Well" she started, "not really. But can I take this microphone with me always?"

"of course my dear lady. Anything that would help you. I'm glad to have been of service to you."

"KAICHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

"Ah, Akira!" Nokoru smiled and said stuff in Japanese to him.

Kelly smiled and ran off to class. Nokoru followed her, and bumped into Suo.

Suo grabbed Nokoru and pinned him to the wall, "DIE!"

Nokoru just blinked and his smile widened innocently, "Why?"

Suo just put two fingers to his temple and sighed. "Never mind, you are too cute to die." With that, he kissed him and threw Nokoru in the garbage truck. The truck left and dumped into a sewver. And Nokoru, was actually not in the truck, he was hanging from the window, and called "SUO HELP ME"

Suo, forgot it was him who threw him, so he ran to save him "I've got you Nokoru. I'm sorry my love, let's ditch this place and elope. "

"What a wonderful idea Suo honey. Let's go."

THE END

(A/N: Parody... I couldn't help myself. I even stuck in a half-Mary-Sue! Sorry if you didn't like it, I just was tired when I wrote this.)