*Screams and slams fists into nearby wall* I hate being sick!!! Oh well, more time to write, if I don't die by coughing up a lung first. Ugh. Well this is the last chapter of depressingness. Ha! That's not a word either. Well anyway it's the last chapter of this stuff. From here on there will be only fluff. From here on this fanfiction is most likely going to suck because we all know that I can't write romance. Stay tuned to prove my theories! ^.^*

Chapter 17: Flying Dutchman

He looked into the night and sighed heavily. He looked toward the palace and sighed again. His body itched to go back and see her. He debated whether to go back though. He didn't want her to have to deal with him. He didn't want to have to see her with Lantis. He shook his head and jumped down from the cliff he was on. He closed his eyes, 'Just one last time,' he assured himself and headed back toward the palace.

Hey kid, I got a ride for you

Hikaru lay down after speaking with Lantis and closed her eyes. She missed Eagle, she could ask him about this…she stopped, she couldn't ask for help from him. She had been able to go to him about everything before…before this. Her mind was spinning with images and memories now that everything seemed to come together. She would never want to hurt either of them or tear them apart. She didn't want to separate herself from them either though. There had to be a way, there just had to!

They say your brain is a comic book tattoo

Back on Autozam, Eagle was the head honcho. He had had to work for it; his whole life he had to struggle against everyone else. He had to work so hard, and it made him tired, but he loved every second of it. He loved flying more than anything else, but he had given it up to see her, to be with her.

Here on Cephiro he was nothing; he was alone. Here on Cephiro the air was cleaner but the world was colder. He wasn't sure he had made the right decision, and he remembered Geo's last words to him before he left.

*"What are you going to accomplish going there Eagle?"*

And you'll never be anything

The hardest thing for her was the fact that she loved both of them, and they both loved her, but it was somehow different…everything was confusing and new. She wasn't sure how to handle any of it, and the thoughts brought her to tears that were new and confusing.

She loved them both but somehow she got the feeling that they wanted her to choose between them. How could she do that? How could she choose between one great love and another? How could she choose between Lantis and Eagle? To her, it was like trying to choose between Umi and Fuu, but deep down she knew she held them differently too.

What will you do with your life?

*"Forget her Eagle, she's not important," Geo had tried, but Eagle would hear none of it.

"You just don't understand," he would hiss and send them away, push them away.*

*"Just look at what she's done to you!" Geo had cried one morning; fed up with the lack of sleeping and eating his commander was achieving. "Just look at how you've destroyed yourself for her! You'll lose everything!"*

That's all you hear from noon 'till night

His true peace was in flight, and he had given it up for a goal, an ideal that he could never accomplish. Just seeing her though, was a flight all in its own. The emotion burst to the surface in him and made him smile. Just seeing her laugh made his stomach leap. Then, when she smiled at someone else, the pain was more immense than anything physical he had ever suffered. The highs and lows were extraordinary, and he guessed that this must be love.

Take a trip on a rocket ship baby where the sea is the sky

Hikaru tossed and turned in her bed; she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she saw Eagle. She resolved to get up and walk around the gardens. With this in mind, she got up and dressed then headed toward the gorgeous haven encased in the palace. She smiled as she walked along and sat on the fountain. She tried to sort everything out in her mind. She tried to recall what it was she truly wanted, then she realized in the time she had been away she had never decided.

'Well Hikaru,' she thought to herself. 'Now would be a pretty good time to decide.'

When thinking of the two she had to smile. When thinking of one she couldn't help but bring the other to mind. She loved them both. Why did this have to be so difficult?

I know the guy who runs the place and he's out-a-sight

He looked to the palace and sighed heavily, debating with himself whether or not to enter. The skies twinkled merrily above him, and he glared at them. The moon made his hair glow a pale silver, and he scowled. Why should the world be so beautiful a place and he be so miserable in it?

Flying Dutchman are you out there?

She looked down from the gardens outside the palace. A glint of silver caught her eyes, and her heart leapt. Eagle?

Flying Dutchman are you out there?

Despite Geo and Zazu's constant warnings he led himself inside the palace. They didn't know what love was. They couldn't tell him what he wanted and what he didn't want, because only he knew. He knew then that all he wanted was Hikaru, and he didn't care if he had to live an eternity without her so long as he only got to see her again. The thought tore him in two, because he didn't want to live without her.

Straight suits, they don't understand

She smiled warmly as she saw him approach, and wasn't sure if he had caught sight of her yet because he wasn't moving any quicker.

Her heart clenched when she remembered her conflict, and her smile was extinguished. Would she always have to feel guilty when she smiled at one? Would she always feel as if she was betraying someone when she laughed with someone else? She didn't want to live her life like that.

She tried, that one, with the alligator boots

But the other side drew her in

He caught a glimpse of red, and his stomach did summersaults. He didn't know how to express the intense emotion that began to flow through him as he caught her gentle smile. His pace quickened with his heart, and he tried to stop himself from running and pulling her into his arms. He maintained as much composure as his pounding heart would allow and walked up to her.

It was as if the whole world had exploded in a world of color. Suddenly he was no longer numb; his senses were back. He could smell her as he embraced her and touch her. He could hear her light laugh and see that gentle smile. He only wanted to taste her… but stopped himself and stepped back to see her once more.

"It has been a long time," he mumbled quietly, and she nodded. She had only gotten more beautiful in the time she was away.

Heart falling fast when she left

Even the Milky Way was dressed in black

"Eagle I missed you," she threw her arms around him, and he smiled and hugged her back. His heart began to fly, and he lost sight of everything. All he knew was he was here with the girl-woman he loved.

Take a trip on a rocket ship baby where the sea is the sky

When she released him her smile was vanquished, because she saw everything she wished not to see in those silver moon-streaked eyes. Her head shot down, and her heart was pounding. She knew he was handsome, but she denied herself the sight because she knew that Lantis was just as handsome.

I know the guy who runs the place and he's out-a-sight

He frowned and didn't have to guess what-who she was thinking about. The guilt fell upon him then, because in the last few minutes he had forgotten about his best friend. He tried to rinse away the shame by looking away and denying his pleasure, but guilt is heavy on heart and mind.

Flying Dutchman are you out there?

Slowly she looked up and stared into his eyes, "So how have you been?" she asked absently, and he shook his head.

"Not so well, how about you?"

"About the same," and that was the end of the conversation. Even the cheery Hikaru could think of nothing more to say.

Flying Dutchman are you out there?

It was in that moment that he knew what he had to do. He knew then what he was going to do, for her but mostly for himself. "I've decided something Hikaru," he said softly, and she looked up.

"Hai?" she was nervous, because his voice was intense.

A lump grew in his throat, "I'm going home," he said softly.

"What?" Hikaru tried not to scream. "Why?"

"Because I miss flying, I miss my home. Geo and Zazu, I can't do this to them, to myself," he looked down. "You know Hikaru, you're not stupid. I see it in your eyes. You understand why I must leave."

'Cause they can't see what you're born to be

"Eagle, think about this," Hikaru begged.

"It's not forever, just until I get things straightened out. Don't feel guilty Hikaru. I need my time alone. I miss being able to be in control of everything. You've given me a gift and I'll never forget it. I'll be back soon to see you…to see you and Lantis," he hung his head and wouldn't let her protest.

Hikaru held back tears. He knew then, he knew that she was conflicted. He was going to end it for her, and he had made the right assumption of her feelings.

They can see me

"It's time I got things straightened out," he added meekly, and she nodded. "I hope you understand."

She nodded again, shocked to the point where no words would escape her red lips.

"Are you going to say anything?" he laughed weakly.

She shook her head, because there was nothing she could think to say.

They can't be

What they can't believe

They can see what you see

"When?" she choked.

"As soon as possible, after everything is straightened out with the Prince most likely," he answered. "Please don't cry for me."

She nodded and hugged him tight. He hugged her back and held her close, running his hands through her hair that was left loose behind her back.

"I can't be contained here Hikaru, my only home is the sky. You've known that for a long time. The only reason I stayed was for hope to see you again. Now that I have it's time to go home, to the place I belong."

They'll keep the boy spinning in their own little world ah

Tie him up so he won't say a word

"I know," she muttered and looked up to him.

He took her head in his hands, and decided it would be in his best interests to finish unfinished business now while he had her alone. He bent down to her and took her in his arms. His kiss was passionate and painful. Hikaru let her own emotions out, and when they broke away tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"He'll take good care of you Hikaru," Eagle said softly and let her go.

She nodded.

They'll keep the boy spinning in their own little world

"Ashiteru," she whispered and ran the other way.

He watched her go and shook his head, "Ashiteru, Fire Knight," he whispered. With that he turned and walked from the room. He went back to his room to pack. He went back with racing emotions but a happy heart and a peaceful mind. He had done what everyone else could not do. He had handed the woman he loved her happiness, and she would always love him for it. He smiled softly as he looked to the stars and felt their gentle warmth.

So afraid he'll be what they never were…