Chapter 6: Audrey
Wild Child,
Of all of my close friends you were the one I met last and yet you were the one I had the most in common with. Joey despised us both from the get-go, although the two of you became friends faster than I had ever managed with Joey Potter. We're both City Girls at heart although I moved to a small town in my fifteenth year and became the instigator of the gang. I must admit Audrey, I am sorry that we hadn't met earlier. I am sure we could've wreaked havoc well in New York together.
You came into the gang when we were more dysfunctional that we were when we first met, and still were able to join in our mellow-drama of a friendship and even add a little more dysfunction to out little gang. You've learned many of our dirty little secrets from the days back in Capeside, but there are still things that you don't know, and that don't really matter anymore. You were able to play Ms. Jacobs in Dawson's very first film with actors who weren't Jack, Joey and I or any of our relatives and in doing so were able to relive a part of our teenage years with us. Sometimes I wonder of how dysfunctional the original trio were before my arrival, only they know really. You and I both stirred things up though, didn't we? You were able to somehow get Joey to actually sing in a band and I rocked the Creek by stealing Dawson away from Joey before she even realized her feelings for him. One thing that makes us so much the same is that we made Joey realize some very important detail in her life.
I must also congratulate you on actually being able to make your relationship with Todd work. God knows I've heard enough about the man from Dawson before you two ever "got together". I hope that you are able to hold on to him because I can see it in your eyes that you truly love him and that you want to have a life with him. I've seen a lot throughout the years, and I see a lot happening right now right before my very eyes. I know that you once loved Pacey and that you were hurt terribly by him. I must remind you that Pacey's heart was severely damaged when you two started dating and although he did a fairly good job at covering it up it didn't mean that it was any less healed. You said it yourself in your drunken rage that Pacey never got over Joey and you knew it was true, it still is. Just don't let the fear of Todd doing the same thing to you as Pacey did stop you from committing to him. I have it on pretty good authority that Todd never really loved someone, not until you. And something in my gut tells me that you two are going to make it.
Speaking from experience substances never help the pain. Sure, it dulls it for a time, but never fully takes it away. You know that from your own alcohol addiction, but I feel the need to remind you. There is so much ahead of you Audrey and you have done so well for many years now. I've seen you at your worst, and at your best and trust me that you're best is the better part of you. If Todd does break your heart either out of fear of having to commit or because the love is no longer there trust that you'll be able to move on, be able to get over the pain without turning back to alcohol. You remember you time in rehab, remember the hurt you caused your friends, and you need to remember the hurt you caused yourself the most. The pain can over time be healed, but the hurt you've caused other, the things you said to others can never be taken back. It will be remembered until your dying day and although forgiveness will come eventually you will always feel the guilt of your words. Just remember that you have your friends to help you through the sadness and heartache if it is to come, you don't need any form of substances.
I must ask you to watch out for Dawson and Andie whenever you are home in LA, and Pacey, Jack and Joey when you are in Capeside during the holidays or during other visits. You are the only one who can look after each and every one of them as well as they will look after you and each other. I can no longer meddle in their affairs so I must ask you to do so. You are the only person capable of meddling with each and every one of them without being drowned by your other affairs. They'll need you as much as you'll need them, maybe even more considering that at time some may have trouble turning to others for help considering the hurt that has been caused or inflicted on by them. I am sure you understand what I am talking about. Joey, Pacey, Andie and Dawson will have trouble communicating with each other when in need of help and Jack most likely will have trouble asking for help. I need you Audrey to look after them as much as you can. I fear that sometimes I have put too much of a burden on Jack, and although I know that Andie and Joey will look out for him I also fear that they will have too much on their minds with their relationships to work out. Audrey, I trust that you will do what you can and ask this of you because you were not intertwined in the complications of eight years earlier when Pacey and Joey first began to date.
You have done well for yourself Audrey, you've come a long way from that girl that I said goodbye to four years ago before moving back to New York. Know that when I say you've changed that I mean for the better. You are still the wonderful person you were when we first met, but you've matured a lot, you've accepted the past, and you've been able to find love in the person you least expected to find it in. We have all changed, but I know that what has remained the same throughout the years, not without complications of course are the friendships we have formed. Between all of us we have extraordinary bonds that will last us a lifetime. You, as I have, have found your true friends, the people who will stand by your side throughout the good times and the bad. Don't ever let that go Audrey, because I know how long it has taken you to find us, them.
Take care,
Love Always,
Jen.
