...Okay...yeah...just don't ask how this popped into my mind...the equation for this fic is bored + Weiss mood + lots of caffeine = this. Enjoy the Hilariousness!

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz or any of its characters, but I do keep Aya locked up in my closet...

Aya: *bang bang* LET ME THE F**K OUT OF HERE! SHI-NE! SHI-NE! SHI-FREAKIN'-NE!

Me: *bangs on closet door* SHADDUP! Or no food!

Persia/Shuichi (for convenience, I'll just call him Persia) sighed. There was only one way to do this.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," Persia said. Shuldich opened the door and sat down in the seat, one leg folded very gaily over the other. "What is it, my darling?" he asked Persia. Persia sighed. "I-I think we should end our relationship, ShuShu," he said heavily. Shuldich's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His hand went to his heart.

"But darling," he said, starting to cry. "I-I thought we were happy together!"

Persia sighed. "It was only a dream," he said. "We both have significant others...remember? I humped my brother's wife. That's how Mamoru was born." Shuldich sobbed. "But...after I had your baby?" he managed to say. Now it was Persia's turn to let his mouth drop. "You...had my baby?" he asked. Shuldich, crying into his hand, nodded.

"That's really how little Omi was born!" Shuldich shouted. He stood up and smacked Persia. "That's for being an ass and leading me on the whole time!" Shuldich began to leave, and Persia reached out to him. "No!" he cried. "ShuShu, I love you! I was wrong! Don't leave me, my nasally sexy German man-bitch!"

Shuldich left, calling after him. "I don't need you any more! All I need is my sexy new Gluhen character design BraCraw!" Persia broke down and sobbed. "No! I lost to Brad Crawford! Nooooo!"

He regained his composition. "Now...only one more..."

"Birman, call Farfie in..."

Okay, that was it...I have a feeling a lot of people will sue me due to the Insane Yaoi Coupling in this bit of insanity...er, fanfic. The Persia x Shuldich is a bit strange, I'll be the first to admit, but how could you not love the Persia x Farfieness? Thanks for putting up with my hyperness.