Jondy stuck to Max like glue over the next few days. She did the morning perimeter run wit Max at times helping her along. Jondy made sure that Max ate at meal times sometimes bodily forcing her and at other times ordering her to eat. Max responded well to orders lately but not as well to kindness as she usually did. She was stone cold and often silent. Jondy even paired up with Max when the spared, trying to go easy on her. Max didn't want anyone to go easy one her at least not in combat where she could take out all her aggressions. In all her unbridled anger she had began to neglect Jondy. When they sparred she attacked Jondy with everything she had. Max actually took her sister down. Max stood stone cold over her accomplishment, she had knocked Jondy unconscious. From that day on Max was only allowed to spar with Zack by his order. She fought so hard that she even took Zack down once.
Gone were the nights Jondy and Max had spent together on the roof of the barracks or out on the scrimmage fields. Gone were the nights of long never ending conversations. Max had changed. She simply wasn't the same after she had come back from the shock treatments. She was harder, more like Brin and Tinga then herself. Max gave orders in a clipped tone. Max followed orders better then ever before and frowned on Jondy's show of emotions towards her. They had reconditioned her. Max was the way she was before they had given each other their names. The perfect little toy soldier.
Then one night Jondy was pleasantly surprised. After lights out Jondy lay down and spent her time staring at the ceiling. Going to the places she usually went with Max wasn't any fun when she went alone. She laid stone still listening halfheartedly to one of Ben's stories when all her prayers to the Blue Lady came true either that or she was dreaming. Nighttime had lost all of it's magic without Max. Jondy was almost sure she must have fallen asleep but this was no dream as Max's face loomed into her field of view.
"Let's go." Max snapped her fingers in front of Jondy's face her words coming off like an order.
Jondy who was already awake obediently hopped out of bed. Max lead Jondy up the drain pipe to the roof. They huddled across from where the Blue Lady's alter was. Max moved close to Jondy but stayed silent for a very long time.
"Everything is different." Max said softly her words having the effect of an explosion in the still of the night.
Jondy got chills. Max couldn't have been more right about more things in a few simple words. Jondy turned to Max and put a hand on her shoulder. "Max, I know-"
Max tore away from the physical contact and bristled at the sound of her own name. "My designation is X5-452."
Max began passing the length of the roof. After a few minuets of fighting a personal battle inside of her head she began to speak. "I know I'm not the same." Her words were clipped, short and devoid of all emotion. "I know things are different. It's just that -- it's so hard. I can't-" Max turned away from Jondy again. "No, no this is wrong. This is a breech of protocol. This is insubordination." Max grabbed Jondy roughly one hand binding her wrists the other on her waist. She guided Jondy over to the corner of the roof where the drainpipe was. "We have orders to sleep. We have to return to the barracks now. We have to sleep. We need to go back now." Max had a look of pure paranoia playing across her face.
Jondy broke free of Max's grip and pointed to the sky. "Max look."
Jondy pointed to a bright twinkling star which Max followed her gesture to gazing at it. It twinkled briefly then shot off across the sky and disappeared.
Max's grip on Jondy's arm wavered. The hands that had gripped her so tightly a moment ago shook. Max moved to simply holding Jondy's hand and holding her close. Tears began to stream down her face. She couldn't handle what it was. She was disgraced by herself and her actions. She turned to Jondy and laughed. "This is ridiculous." Silent tears making small paths in the dirt on her face leaving it clean and wet in places. "This is false sentimentality. This is wrong; this is against the rules."
Jondy turned to he little sister. "No, Max this isn't anything like that. This is us." She squeezed Max's hand hard.
Max pulled away from Jondy again. "No this is in violation of sanction 43-6. We shouldn't be here."
Max fell to her knees and hugged them close to herself sitting on the edge of the roof. Jondy wrapped herself around her little sister trying to hold her together as she cried huge sobs racking her entire body.
"It's okay Maxie." Jondy stroked her head and cradled Max in her lap.
"I want to come back." Max said thought her sobs.
Jondy wanted that too, more then anything. So Jondy just held Max and talked. Not about the stars like they did on some nights. Not about what they could over hear the guards below saying. Not about how well their training was going or about the well being of their siblings. Not about any of Ben or Tinga's stories. There was no speculation about Lydecker or any of the adults. No wondering about what they did in their time away from Manticore. Jondy didn't even bring up how Max Krit and herself were so close because they had been the last three in the nursery. Jondy just told Max everything would be okay and that she'd come back to herself soon enough. In reality Jondy was scared they had never been able to break Max like this before. She reminded Max of how she used to be, of how things used to be before Ash was terminated. She talked and talked and talked and when she couldn't think of anything else to say she sang to Max and then eventually went back to talking. Mostly pure nonsense, but she could have been talking about how the sky was purple and the grass was blue. It didn't seem to matter Max just seemed calmed by the sound of Jondy's voice and her closeness. Jondy was back to singing, a wordless tune that she had overheard one of the nurses humming and Max stilled so Jondy kept going.
Jondy heard a rustle bellow that meant one of her siblings was awake. She had always had the best ear from the length of the strides and the sound of the footfalls she recognized who it was. It had to be Syl. What she was doing or where she was going Jondy didn't know. Syl passed the length of the barracks and finally sat down, but not on her own bunk. Jondy could hear it all perfectly as she continued to sing the sound of Syl's footsteps had not stopped where they had originated. Syl had woken up Zane. That was where they went with all their worries. If Zack ever left them Zane would have made a great CO. Syl talked to Zane about her concerns for Max. Zane told her he was aware of the problem Jondy, Krit and Ben had already come to talk to him about it and if things diddn't change soon he would take their concerns to Zack himself. Syl then asked the obvious question of where Max had gone. The answer was simple she was up on the roof with Jondy Zane had seen them sneak away. Syl sighed maybe things were returning to normal. Syl stayed in Zane's cot for some time then asked Zane if he heard what she did. Yes he did and he went on to say that Jondy had a very nice voice. Syl agreed and they both settled down again talking too softly even for Jondy to hear.
Jondy turned her attention back to Max embarrassed by her siblings complements. It was then that she noticed Max was sound asleep. Jondy tried to wake Max but to no avail. Max's skin was warmer then normal and Jondy started to panic. She left Max curled up on the roof and climbed down to get help. The sun would be up soon and morning inspection would be even sooner. She went to Zane first because she knew he was still awake. Zane woke Zack who in turn woke up Ben and Krit. Zack and Zane climbed up to the roof and Ben and Krit were under orders to hold their position at the window. Zack shook Max, ordered her to wake up and struck her but nothing roused her. Zane held Zack's feet bracing him on the roof and lowered him almost all the way to the window. Zack held the sleeping Max and lowered her down to the waiting arms of Ben and Krit who took her to her cot. Zack and Zane climbed back down into the barracks and gathered with Jondy, Syl, Krit and Ben around Max's cot. No one was sure what to do. If they couldn't wake Max for the morning inspection she'd be taken back to the infirmary. No matter what they tried under no circumstances could they wake Max.
The general came in for the morning inspection to find the others standing next to made cots and waiting with baited breath. The General stopped in front of Max's cot.
"Rise and shine X5-452. On your feet now soldier."
Max didn't even stir. The general humphed and spun around storming out of the room. He turned to Zack. "X5-599 this is your problem and the commander will deal with you accordingly."
The General returned with Commander Lydecker who stormed into the room past the lines of saluting soldiers and stopped in front of Max's cot. He tried all of the same tactics that Zack had tried to wake Max and then turned to him. "X5-599 take the squadron down to the work out room. You're all dismissed to spar."
The others filled out of the room in an orderly line at the sound of Zack's orders an echo of the one he had just been issued from Lydecker.
Lydecker sat on the edge of Max's cot then dismissed the General.
"Max what have I done?" He asked softly to no one then scooped her up into his arms and took her to the infirmary himself.
*
There was nothing wrong with Max except for a high fever and some mild dehydration that some intravenous fluids took care of rather neatly and she was back with the squad by lunchtime. She looked downtrodden, sad and tired but had a bit of her old bounce to her step. She was silent most of the day unless directly spoken to. She didn't look directly at anyone unless a direct order was given. She seemed lost within herself. Zack watched her during lunch and pulled her aside when he dismissed the others for their afternoon workout.
"Max." Zack grabbed her arm as she filled past him with the others.
Max stopped at his touch but didn't acknowledge him.
Zack squared his shoulders. "X5-452 did you hear me?"
"Yes sir." Max answered with a curt nod of her head.
"Why didn't you answer me?" Zack asked.
"That was not my designation, Sir." Max winked and nodded her head towards the guards in the room.
Zack blanched for a moment. Max had been the first to realize that they deserved names. She had been the first to boldly deny her designation in front of the adults. Now she was denying the name she had chosen for herself. "Max?" Zack whispered her name.
"We are not in the barracks, soldier." Max reminded him.
Zack relaxed a little Max had fallen back on the rules of the time when they had just named each other and only used their names in the barracks. For now that was just fine. Zack was just glad she still recognized her own name. "My mistake soldier. X5-452 are you all right?"
"Fine sir." Max nodded.
"And would you tell Za-X5-236 the same thing?" Zack new they all went to Zane with their true feelings and concerns.
"I believe so, sir." Max nodded again.
Zack shook his head. "You're sparring with me now." He turned on his heals and lead her into the recreation room.
Max and Zack squared off just as Commander Lydecker entered the room. Zack attempted to go easy on Max and she took him down twice. In order to save face in front of the Commander Zack stopped going easy on her and took her down quickly. Max hit the mat and stayed there. Zack bent down and offered her a hand up and Max flipped and pinned him beneath herself. Commander Lydecker smiled proudly watching his two prizefighters. They squared off again and Zack took Max down to the mat again. She got up on her own this time but Zack could tell something had changed. For the moment her heart simply wasn't in the exercise.
Back in the barracks that night after their sociology class which was in preparation for under cover operations once they were deployed out in the field later in their careers, Max headed straight for her cot and in minuets was asleep snoring lightly. Jondy got up from her cot and stood next to Zack's head. Zack opened one eye lazily. "Yes Jondy?"
Jondy used a quick set of hand signals and requested that Zack join her up on the roof. Zack followed Jondy silently up to the roof and found her standing there at the edge hugging herself close. He stood silently behind her allowing her the freedom to speak first.
"You promised Zack." Jondy's simple words hung in the air like a threat. Her voice sounding small and hurt. "And you were wrong."
"I didn't lie Jondy. Max will be okay eventually."
"You keep telling me that! Zack how long are you going to wait to do something to get her back?" Jondy began to pace the length of the roof. "Sure she's with us and she's safe but she isn't Maxie. Don't you see it?" Her voice was pleading and her eyes began to overflow. "I just want my little sister back."
"We all want her back," Zack touched Jondy's shoulder. "I'll figure out something Jondy I promise."
"You did that already Zack." Jondy turned to him. "You'd better make it stick this time."
"What?"
"It's something I heard one of the guards say, it's like making sure and order gets carried out."
"I will." Zack nodded curtly.
"If anything do it for the team Zack. Brin and Tinga are happy they think Max has finally come to her senses. Ben, Zane, Syl and myself are all worried. Have you seen Krit lately? He's really torn apart by it. He sleeps curled up in a tight ball sucking on his thumb. He has nightmares and his eyes look haunted, he's never more then two steps away from Max if he can help it, I think he thinks it's his fault she's hurting." Jondy didn't think she needed to tell Zack it was effecting her exactly the same way. "We are all lost without her and it's tearing the team apart. She's an integral part of our team Zack." Jondy turned and caught Zack off guard by hugging him. "Please try Zack."
"She's an integral part of our family Jondy." Zack held Jondy close for a moment. They were alone up on the roof so it was all right to let down his guard and console his little sister. "I promise Jondy. I'll figure it out."
Jondy nodded and tensed up under the protection of Zack's arms. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry hysterically in front of Zack. He eyes spilling over before had been a moment of weakness. If she couldn't keep this promise to herself how could she expect him to keep the one he'd just made to her? Jondy tore away from Zack's hold on her.
"We should go in now." Jondy faked a yawn. "I'm tired."
Zack wasn't about to argue but Jondy was never tired, something was up. They turned and returned to the barracks Zack wasn't about to push her anymore tonight. Zack went to sleep. Jondy passed the night watching shadows play across the dull grey ceiling and worrying about Max. Halfway through the night she moved to Krit's cot to quite him in the midst of yet another nightmare but mostly she watched the shadows dance all night.
*
Zane noticed it during their morning exercise after breakfast after their first set of sparring and before the perimeter run. Max seemed to be operating on autopilot and Zack seemed unusually tense. Zack yelled and snapped his orders off at the others ready to bite anyone's head off at a moment's notice. Whatever had taken place between Jondy and Zack the night before had obviously taken its toll on Zack. He simply wasn't himself. It manifested itself during lunchtime. Jondy hadn't spoken a word all day. Krit seemed unusually subdued. Max did everything by the book but everything she did seemed to anger Zack in some way.
"X5-452 what are you doing?" Zack snapped at Max.
"Nothing sir."
"You're shaking." Zack said bluntly.
"I am not." Max tensed her body to quench the shaking she had not even noticed.
"Max what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Max jumped up knocking over her tray of food.
One of the nearby guards started to move in towards her but Zack held up a hand to stop him. "Sit down soldier." He said to Max.
"No. I can't sir." Max shook her head stepping up right in front of Zack and struck him. No one moved as the sound echoed through the room. Zack couldn't move. Max had just slapped him with no cause to do so. Max dropped into a sparing stance.
"I want to fight." Max snapped bouncing form foot to foot.
Zack didn't move. Couldn't move for a moment, his mind was a complete blank.
"You just struck a superior officer." Zack shook his head. "Go stand at attention in that corner and do not move a muscle."
Brin scoffed Zack was going easy on Max. Too easy. She had just broken a rule, but Max was sick so it was different from what Brin had done. It was just like she'd always thought and this only served to prove it, Max was Zack's pet soldier. Zack turned his gaze back to Brin at the sound she'd uttered. Brin returned her gaze to her food; it wasn't worth agitating an already angry Zack.
Max stood at attention in the corner stiff and unmoving except for her shoulders, which shook slightly more of a twitch then anything. The room remained silent no one knew exactly what to do.
"At ease." Zack said giving the others a much-needed cue.
Krit turned to Jondy wide eyed but didn't know what to say. Jondy simply reached out for his hand under the table. Max drew everyone's attention in the subdued atmosphere. She began to laugh a hysterical cackle her shoulders shaking harder then ever. Zack was up and out of his seat in a heartbeat. He spun Max around to face him. If names weren't allowed to be used outside of the barracks then laughter was strictly forbidden. They were all aware of it; it was an unspoken rule and there Max was laughing openly in front of the guards.
"Report X5-452." Zack snapped.
Max simply continued to laugh though Zack's face was merely inches from her own.
"Stop it." Zack blurted out.
"I ... I can't." Max got the words out between bursts of laughter.
"Compose yourself soldier." Zack ordered her.
Max continued to laugh. She was frustrated at not being able to stop and follow the order that was given to her. Silent tears began to fall down her face. Unable to control her shaking body Max collapsed to the ground.
"On your feet soldier." Zack tried to pull her up to her feet.
Max struck out at Zack out of reflex and he angrily let her fall back to the ground. Maybe Max had finally snapped.
Two of the guards moved towards Max radios in hand ready to order her down for a psychiatric evaluation.
"Leave her be." Zack growled moving in front of Max. "She'll be okay."
The guards backed off for the moment. They were told never to undermine an order given by the young CO in front of the other children.
"Jondy. Ben." Zack called out to the two closest soldiers. "Take care of Max." He looked pointedly at Zane. "You're in charge now Zane." Zack took leave of them storming out of the room hardly even noticing that he had slipped using all their names.
All hell broke loose the moment Zack left the room. Krit broke down into tears. Brin and Tinga started to order Jondy and Ben about what to do with Max. Zane stood up.
"I want you all to report back to the barracks except for you." Zane pointed out Max, Jondy, Ben and Krit. Everyone filled out of the room and Zane turned to counseling and consoling his remaining siblings.
*
Zack paced the hallway outside the mess room until he heard Zane issue his order inside of the room. Zack knew he had to move before his team started to file out of the room. He stormed off in the direction of the stairwell glad for the moment to have free range of the compound. He could not let them see him so emotionally consumed. Zack stormed into Commander Lydecker's office. The old man was eating his lunch, taking a few shots and staring at a picture of his late wife. Commander Lydecker jumped as the door swung open and the soldier strode in, his door had been securely locked moments ago. Zack had never been taught to pick locks by anyone at Manticore and the fact that he could was both impressive and disturbing at the same time. Max was up and about from the infirmary but she was not herself he could see it in her eyes. She pent alot of time by herself quiet, pensive and thinking. She hadn't talked to Jondy much in the past few days. Max spent her nights crying and sleeping. Max never slept but since she had returned from the shock sessions she had slept nightly. Zack was outraged that they had seemingly crushed Max's spirit and he simply couldn't stand to see her like that any longer. Lydecker had seen it all on the security equipment and it didn't sit well with him either.
"Commander Lydecker, sir." Zack crossed the room to the man's desk in three strides. "Permission to initiate an exercise sir."
The liquor he'd consumed as well as the soldier's presence in his office threw off Lydecker. First off it was wrong because Zack was supposed to be under guard in the mess hall and was not supposed to have free range of the compound and he had not called for the boy. Secondly it was too early for their daily briefings. Someone should and would be reprimanded for it, be it the security detail in the mess hall or the soldier himself. Lydecker reasoned he'd hear the soldier out before he decided how to reprimand him.
"What's your suggestion Zack?" Lydecker made a face catching himself in his own buzzed slip of the tongue. It had been Max's eyes and screams during the conditioning, shock sessions, and sickness that haunted him, hurt him and guiltily had driven him to the bottle. He preferred to bear the grief of knowing he'd hurt he rather then trying to fix it and succeeding in hurting her more. He knew he had to amend his statement because the soldier was just staring at him. "All right X5-599 what do you suggest soldier?"
"Sir, Extraction, sir." Zack barked his answer still standing at attention.
"X5-559 you've executed that exercise;" Lydecker paused to think, "At least a dozen times flawlessly. You don't need to run it again, soldier. Permission denied."
"Sir, no sir." Zack objected. "I don't want to run the exercise on my own. I want to extract the whole squad during an escape and evade drill using infantry soldiers as the enemy, sir."
Lydecker bolted from his chair and struck the soldier for his insubordination. The he sunk back into his chair and took another swig of the bottle. It really was a good idea but he had to stick with his convictions and be strong in front of the soldier. "You object to my decision soldier?"
"Sir, yes sir. I think it is a good idea to boost team spirit, sir." Zack didn't flinch from the strike or his convictions.
"Then why don't you have a pep-rally?" Lydecker sneered.
"Sir?" Zack blinked.
"Nothing."
"I think it's a good idea." Zack tried again.
Lydecker struck Zack again. "Permission denied. Their too young, too undisciplined, unprepared."
"Sir, I'll brief them. I know their ready. Their good soldiers, sir."
Lydecker could see the young soldier was not going to back down on this matter. He respected Zack's resolve and determination but his insubordination had to be dealt with. Lydecker had to prove he was still in charge. This time he punched Zack full in the face. He knew it wasn't really a strict punishment because Lydecker had half the strength of the weakest X5 if he was lucky. This was all about respect. "You'd go against my orders, soldier?"
"Sir, no sir. I simply want to persuade you to change them. I know we can succeed, sir." Zack stood at attention, expressionless, holding the older man's stare.
Lydecker allowed himself to heave a sigh; the liquor was taking its toll, exposing his emotions, something embarrassing and unacceptable to have in front of this soldier. At this point he would have done anything to rid himself of the insolent soldiers presence.
"Fine, fine soldier I will let you have your little game." Lydecker snapped. "Under one condition X-4 squadron two is to be the enemy. This will be a lesson for you too soldier in the recognition of your own family."
Zack nodded curtly. "Sir the conditions are more then acceptable, sir."
"Fine," Lydecker waved a hand sloppily at him. "Fine, dismissed soldier. You may have your little excursion but if anything goes wrong it is on your shoulders."
Zack saluted. "Thank you sir." Then he stood watching Commander Lydecker with his head cocked slightly to the side. "Are you all right sir?"
Lydecker blinked and looked up at the boy. Then he turned the picture he was gazing at towards Zack taking another swig from his drink. "X5-9595." Lydecker coughed. "Zachary can't you see it, son?"
Zack had no idea what he was looking for in the picture of the woman or for that matter why Lydecker couldn't seem to keep his designation straight.
"The eyes Zack those deep wonderful haunting eyes there all the same everywhere you look. Look."
Zack stared at the picture of the woman's face zeroing in on the eyes. Eyes flashed in his head. Max, Jondy, Krit. Beautiful wide sparkling doe eyes, okay so they were the same eyes but not Krit, not beautiful anyway. "X5-542 and X5-273."
"Yes, yes. Max and Jondy and Krit. Though Jondy's just and coincidence and Krit was a last minuet unforeseen chance." Lydecker nodded.
Zack was officially confused. Lydecker knew their names. Lydecker was being sloppy and emotional and it all frightened Zack set him at an immense unease.
"I loved her before I lost her." Lydecker was talking to himself more then Zack now. He was an overflow of emotions that made Zack uncomfortable to be in the room with. Zack had what he wanted but had yet to be dismissed so he stood his ground and waited.
"Don't loose them X9-955. Don't let them be taken away from you. Not by me, not by the committee, not by each other. That's what you're trying to do now aren't you? Keep them together; bring that sparkle back into her eyes. I wish you good luck because I know I can't do it." Lydecker drifted off into his own thoughts his eyes fogging over lost in memories. Drowning his sorrows in his drink. "Tell her I loved her ..." he mumbled it softly to himself his eyes tearing up still looking at the picture. Then he got angry noticing for the first time that Zack was still there. "This never happened, soldier. You didn't see this. Go back to school then prepare and brief your squad before dinner. I said you were dismissed soldier."
Zack saluted Commander Lydecker, turned on his heals and flew out of the room. "Sir, thank you, sir."
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AN: I know it's been a while since I've posted anything so look for chapter 2 of this and chapter 4 of Love is a Battlefield to be up soon.
