The Vampire Heero
Part Four
By Lady AngelFiren

I sat up easily and he turned slowly towards me. "Heero, what's going on?" I asked in a gentle tone that demanded no answer.

I gasped when I saw him.

His eyes were mirrors. I could see it clearly in the thick wash of moonlight that spilled in lazily through the large window on his side of the room. They looked as if someone had painted them with silver, or put a reflective film over them. I could just barely see the tiny blackness of a pupil in each eye, but the strong blue was entirely covered with an impenetrable mirror of the deepest gleaming silver. It wasn't terribly reflective, but it was somehow still a mirror.

I was baffled beyond words. Not even the part of me that usually kept on talking had anything to say here, I was very confused, and severely put off balance. This was not the way things were supposed to be! My crush was not supposed to turn around and look at me with those eyes! I'm not sure what he _was_ supposed to do, but it wasn't this.

He swallowed carefully and closed his eyes for a moment before answering my question in a quiet voice that still managed to be somewhat nasal, but held none of the frustration or anger that had been present earlier that day.

"Duo. I guess you'd like to know what's going on?"

"Well, yeah. That would be why I asked the question." I said quickly, and being none-too-polite about it.

Heero's eyes dropped to the floor and he sort ofwinced when I spoke. My words had scorned him, this was serious, and here I go, being all forceful and sarcastic. I mentally kicked myself, along with a little help from the voices in my head.

/Great Maxwell, he starts talking and you interrupt him and act all tough and sarcastic. Awesome start there, now fix what you just did you dumb fuck!/ The little voice in my mind, the one that always knew what to say, scolded me for my stupidity. It also refused to help me fix what I'd done, so I ended up stammering, not sounding even a little bit like myself.

"I-I'm sorry, Heero. ThatI guess that was rude of me, please go on, I'll listen better."

/Crappy apology, think he'll accept it?/ the voice teased me, and I snapped at it bitterly.

/Go away! Let me do this, quit being a dick. Just fuck off, ok? Thank you, now get lost!/ The voice scurried away, but I had a feeling it'd be back for more sometime soon. At least I could concentrate on what Heero was talking about now.

In the meantime, Heero had turned around on the window ledge and sat facing me, hands fumbling nervously in his lap. All these signs of his discomfort were seriously bothering me. He never spoke quietly, it was always some monotone but perfectly audible command or report. He never _ever_ fidgeted, and it had become obvious that whatever he had to tell me was a sensitive issue, and extremely important to him. I couldn't fuck this up again, I had to react properly to whatever he said, because he'd be hurt if I didn't. Fun, very, very fun for me.

"Well, umI said before, I said I'd talk to you about about whathappened, and um, I guess- guess I have to now, but I'mI don't know if I can, and you'll- and you're going to hate me" He stopped, biting his lip hard and didn't look at me, "You'll hate me!" It was spoken with contempt for himself, like I wasn't the only one who should hate him, and he hated himself too.

My heart clenched and tried to explode in my chest. It hurt me to see him like this, stammering like a child and feeling all this self-pity. I wanted to pull him into my arms and show him that I certainly did _not_ hate him, nor would I, but that just wasn't the right thing to do then, so instead I tried to soothe him with words.

"Heero, whatever it is, whatever's bothering you, I won't hate you. I couldn't, because I see what kind of person you are every day, and the person I see is kind and good, even if he doesn't always know it. I don't believe I could ever hate you. What's wrong?"

/That was pretty good, Maxwell, I'm impressed./ The little voice was back, and I didn't want him to screw me up again, so I glared at it with my whole mind and mentally kicked it far, far away. I know it was being nice, but for once I actually had the confidence in myself to do this alone, I didn't need little voices affecting what I said. Wow, a whole new side of me

Heero's face changed from sad to despairing. His strangely reflective eyes were somehow lost, forlorn even. They spoke to me, and told me how much pain was actually inside my friend. The feeling of alone, of deserted hope was so strongly present now, that I was nearly suffocated by it. It hurt! It hurt a lot to watch Heero Perfect Soldier Yuy drop his masks like this, and tore me even worse when I saw the first hints of crimson pool in the corners of his eyes. Droplets of blood swelled and dripped from each silver eye, running quickly and thinly across both soft cheeks. Looking into him as I was, I got the feeling that there was nothing in his soul but the sound of the ocean wind ripping through a hollow place with unforgiving abandon, as the sun struggled to shine into the deepest crevices of a stone figure that is crumbling away but refuses to be broken. Silent music filled my ears, a chorus composed of a thousand voices laden with sorrow and pain, and I almost started crying myself as more bloody tears streaked across his cheeks. He bit his bottom lip harshly, and struggled not to let anymore of the tears escape him, as if each one were tearing a little piece of what he had away from him.

I had never experienced another person's pain like this in all my life, and I was torn between shoving it all away where it couldn't touch me and screaming at it to stop, screaming that no one should have to endure that. Instead I got up and went over to him, seating myself on the windowsill beside him. I didn't know if he would want to be touched, or if any advance to comfort him would only add to his self-hate and revulsion, so I didn't make any move to pull him to me, despite my heart's strangled screams at me to quench the loneliness with physical contact.

He looked away from me and took a heavy breath, rubbing his eyes with his hands. The moonlight played upon him, and his skin looked pale and virgin in the soft caress of night, while the blood on his cheeks and hands was a dark purple contrast. After a few more thick breaths, he stopped crying and had a little more success in wiping away his tears, but when he looked at his hands, stained with his own blood tears, a deep frown stole across his face and it became an angry scowl. He furiously pulled his comforter up from the bed and wiped his face and hands with vigorous friction, a fierce action that probably hurt his skin quite a lot. It seemed he was acting compulsively now, frantically trying to rid himself of a dirt that was deeper than the skin, perhaps deep enough to touch his soul and make him crazy. I had no idea, I simply saw my friend in pain, and I was feeling his pain, and now his anger, and it made me want to heave. I had no idea what to do, his confusing behavior had me offset.

Why were his tears blood? Why had he been crying? What caused him so much pain that he hated himself? I didn't know what to do with the anger that had built itself up in me, it was disconcerting. I shook my head physically, trying to lock it away from me or kick it out of my mind entirely, the way I had the annoying little voice. It worked to some extent, and my instincts kicked in. They told me to give him some sort of contact, let him know that he need not hate, let him know that even if he hated himself, I still wouldn't.

I slid a little closer to him (he had turned away from me, almost so his back was facing me) and wrapped my arms around him. He stiffened, and I felt his whole body turn to cool stone under my fingertips, I had to look at his face, see his eyes, silver and filled with fear and hate, just to know he was even still alive. His body literally felt like a marble statue. It looked like a marble statue. He was here, he was alive, but I was having some seriously strong doubts as to whether he was human or not. People just don't turn to liquid stone, at least not any I had ever seen, but here was Heero, the heat almost gone from him now, hard as a rock.

I gasped a little at this, the feeling of a moving statue. It was strange, eternal. I suddenly felt so safe holding onto him, like nothing could ever touch me, and my embrace changed from being one meant to comfort, to being a tight grasp on some last strength of the heart, an almost desperate stranglehold on a fading spirit.

I didn't realize how tightly I'd been holding him until I felt his soft, but unnaturally strong hands gently pry my arms off of him. He was much more composed now, the last traces of staining tears gone from him, the anger washed out of his gaze. It remained silver however, and I could see that he had merely pushed his own hurt back, stuffed it away as I so often did. I didn't want the sadness to come back, but I also had no intentions of letting him think I couldn't handle his pain. I was pretty much dying of curiosity now, and the whole 'tender moments' bit hadn't helped at all. Who exactly _was_ living in his mind and heart? And his body, it was so _strong!!_ My mouth often spoke before I could think of what to say, and as I watched myself talk to him, I hoped I wouldn't say anything to ruin the atmosphere that had settled over us.

"Heero? You're ok now? Would you tell me what is going on please. Youyour bodyand the tears What is it?"

I hefted a loud sigh of pure relief in my mind, and thanked the voice for knowing what to say. /Good job!/ I cheered it on and watched the emotions play across Heero's face once more, only this time they were not so sad or angry, more like he was deciding how to tell me whatever he had to say.

The voice sort of scoffed at me. /Hey, you're lucky I came back! I shouldn't have, but he was hurting so much, I had to wring out a little compassion for the guy, you know? Don't expect me to be all cuddly and fluffy in the future though, just be glad I like him as much as you do./

/Aren't you me? Don't you _have_ to like him, because I do? Who exactly are you? And why are you in my head?/ The stupid little voice was confusing me now, and it was making me kind of agitated. I couldn't concentrate on Heero with this moron commenting on everything I did.

I felt the voice I don't know sort of recede to the back of my mind, and I basically took over in full once more. It almost smiled at me, and blinked out of my consciousness. I was left wondering what the hell had just happened there, and I found the I was still able to speak with confidence, so I was even more confused.

/This is _not_ the time to wonder about the voices in my head!/ I warned myself, and focussed my full attention on Heero. I saw that though he had removed my arms from their deathgrip on him, He had kept one of my hands held in both of his, and was currently running his thumbs over the back of my palm, a look of hard thought on every one of his features. Finally, after what was most certainly an eternity or two, and my body had plenty of time to both react to his touches and get _very_ full of tense anticipation, he began to speak in that same calm, soft voice that still held much of his familiar nasal tone.

"I can't do this, butI will. Duo I'm-IDuo I'm not exactly human. I'm well, I'm not human." He looked at me, looked right into me, and I felt my whole body go almost numb. I had guessed at it, but things are never so real as when they're dropped right in your lap, and I couldn't make myself react. I wasn't angry or scared or even surprised, I had kind of known, but at the same time I hadn't, and it was paralyzing. I found my voice eventually, and it was as smooth as ever, but I remained aloof, just in case, I wasn't sure what I was dealing with here.

"Then what " I said quietly, not taking my eyes off of him.

He closed his own eyes and swallowed hard, his brow furrowing a little before he said one tiny word. " Vampire." He let go of my hand.