The Vampire Heero
Part Nine
By Lady AngelFiren

Pain.

As consciousness stirred into me, I felt the sharp pulse of what must have been the very worst headache I'd ever experienced. I felt like every hangover I'd ever had was back with a vengeance. Smacking my lips together, I found my mouth dry and scratchy, like I'd licked hot, dusty pavement. It tasted sour. I tried to move and my head pounded, blood rushing to my temples in fat bursts and flushing white across my closed eyelids.

My stomach was lurching, turning, bubbling thickly. It felt full and heavy, tingling with nauseous contempt. I tried to swallow, found I could, but only a little, and it hurt. I groaned and tried not to throw up, begging wordlessly for water and relief from the pain. I groaned, shifting ance more. Again pain sparked in my head, confusing and nauseating my body. I wanted to throw up, but I needed water. I dreaded opening my eyes, but steeled my resolve and did it anyway, moving as little as possible, pleading mercy with the searing hurt in my body.

At first I couldn't see anything, the white static of pain roaring over my other senses. I closed my eyes again, and the white began to subside, but only very slowly. A quiet shuffling somewhere in the room sounded like trees crashing down on each other in a forest. Then Heero's voice sliced a clean, fresh level of pain through my mind, effectively brining the bile up from my stomach, almost strongly enough that I vomited. I was able to push it down, but the acidic taste did not escape me.

"Duo, you're awake, how are you feeling?"

I opened my mouth to answer, my tongue a thick weight between my jaws. I swear I could hear it knocking against my teeth as I struggled to speak. I managed to rasp, "Never better. What the hell happened," in a voice that was a cruel parody of my own.

A glass of cool, refreshing water was pressed to my lips. As I sucked down a few mouthfuls, I began to feel better. The water quickly crept down my throat and with it so did relief from the terrible pain.

I remembered what had happened, why I was lying here, dehydrated past all reasonable explanation. The way I'd played on Heero's weakness, and veritably forced him to attack me, it was wrong. I mentally kicked myself; I should be glad to be alive! What a dumb powergame it was to do what I did, the was no apologizing for it. /Stupid! Why the hell did I do that??!!/ Now Heero would probably run away from me, thinking that _he'd_ lost control and couldn't be trusted, when really it was my fault. Until that moment, I didn't think it was possible to actually do something _that_ stupid. Lets see, what did I think was gonna happen if I shoved my bleeding arm in the face of a hungry vampire? I would have eaten me, I don't blame him.

Clearly, the voices in my head would have eaten me too, I could hear a quiet chuckle in the back of my mind, as they laughed at me. Well, it was really only one voice, but you get the picture. I glared internally at whatever part of my mind was having a jolly old time at my expense and turned my concentration outward once more.

Heero had been reduced to apologizing once more. "-so sorry! I justthe blood, and I couldn't stop! God Duo, I could have KILLED you! I am _so sorry!!_"

/What a mess!/

I worked up my mind, although it was still really fuzzy from being unconscious, and was mostly shrouded in thick white pain. "Heero, its not your fault, it can't be. I wasn't thinking, and I tempted you with something that is beyond your control. So you see, it really isn't your fault at all. That was extreme stupidity on my part, and I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you. Heero, I'm so sorry."

I forced myself to sit up and open my eyes. My head felt way too heavy, and the whole world tilted at a funny sideways angle for a few seconds before it settled into something comprehensible. Heero sat on his bed all the way across the room, hugging his knees tightly to him. He had his back pressed against the wall, and was staring at me through wide blue eyes. There were a few traces of dried red tears on his cheeks, just tiny scarlet streaks that shoed he'd been crying. Even as I watched, they flaked off, turned to invisible dust, and were gone. He looked more like a kicked puppy or a lost child than a soldier and vampire. My heart sank, and I immediately wanted to hug him and put a blanket over his shoulders and tell him not to be afraid. It still shocked me that somebody so much older than me could be so underexposed and innocent, especially considering his past. I really didn't know almost anything about it, but I knew that it was mostly not a happy time to remember. I had done this to hem, and it was my job to fix my stupid mistakes.

/God, I am such a fucking DUMBASS!!/

"Will you come sit on the bed with me Heero, I-"

"NO! I'll hurt you again!"

Even his face was childlike, matching the panicked, frantic pitch in his normally firm, monotone, and the way he was fearfully curled into a little ball on his bed. I couldn't stand to see how much damage my actions had caused him. It was horrible! I wanted to draw him into my arms and chastely kiss away his deep sorrow, but it appeared he'd be crushed under the gentlest fingertips.

It was frightening and extremely disturbing to see someone normally so strong and cool reduced in this way. He was completely crushed, the cool liquid stone of his form trembling violently in fear of its own power.

I swung my legs over the side of my bed and got to my feet, swaying drunkenly as I waited for the room to stop spinning, and wobbled over to him, sitting heavily on the edge of the bed. I brought one hand up, slowly, the way one lets an animal smell them before touching it, and carefully brushed his bangs away from his eyes. Inching closer, I pried his now lax form from against the wall and gathered him into my weak arms. He let me, but shook in my loose embrace. I think he was afraid to move, lest he accidentally hurt me. I brought one hand in soothing caresses over his back, and stroked his silken dark hair with my other. Heero squeezed his eyes shut and shrank into my chest, pressing his head over my heart and biting his lower lip quietly as he struggled not to cry.

My heart proceeded to crumble into tiny bits and fall out of my chest from sorrow. I hated myself even more than I had before, and tried to stifle my own tears by kissing his hair and the back of his neck, now cupping his cheek in my hand and running my thumb over his soft skin. I forced myself to stay composed, despite my pounding head and aching heart. If I broke down, even shed a single tear, he'd fall apart and turn to dust it seemed. Absently, I wondered if he really would turn to dust someday.

"Its ok Heero, I'm ok. Everything's fine." I gently brought his face up in my palm, so that he was looking into my eyes. I saw that there were a few stray red tracks over his cheeks, fresh crimson stains to mar his beautiful face. I kissed him on the lips, not even trying to pry his mouth open, just giving him the assurance that I was ok through the small gesture. I hoped he would understand, and maybe find the strength to believe he wasn't a monster. After a few moments he pulled slowly away, bowing his head a little and closing his eyes again.

"Stop punishing yourself. I don't like to see you hurting, especially for my dumb actions. Please try not to cry anymore Heero."

One shiny blue-silver eye peeked open, then the other, and he nodded, sniffling and taking my hand from his cheek, squeezing it very carefully in both of his.

"Duo?" he asked in a tiny voice, "Could you not dowhat you didcould you not bleed like that anymore? At least around me? Please?"

He looked at me fearfully, pleadingly; as if asking me not to bleed around him if I could help it was a huge privilege or request. I laughed, feeling my face melt easily into a hearty smile, It was a real smile, not just the plastic grin for once. The voices in my head muttered about my choice in guys as I crushed him t me in a bear hug. He didn't hug back, but I saw his tears had stopped, and a small, grateful smile appeared on his lips.

"Don't worry, I've learned my lesson, no more feeding the vampires. Got it."

He accepted this quietly, slipping out of my embrace and standing. He turned around and placed a hand on my chest, pushing me smoothly down on his bed. He yanked the covers from under me and pulled them up, until they reached my chin. The bed didn't smell like blood as I'd expected it to, rather it was fresh and clean, with only a light, musky scent mingled with that of wildflowers and earth. Not a normal, human kind of smell, but certainly agreeable. Heero kinda smelled that way too, although I think his scent came from his clothes and whatever he was around, not his actual body.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm taking care of you. I can't give you your blood back, but I could help you make more and get some rest. You'll get sick if you don't. Stay there. I'll be back in a few minutes."

His whole demeanor had changed instantly, from being scared and vulnerable to authoritative and commanding. He was in control again, making up for his little breakdown by forcing me to let him nurse me back to health. Even his posture changed. He left no room for argument in his command for me to rest, and ducked out of the room without looking back.

A few minutes later Heero came back in the doorway balancing the most thickly heaped tray of food I'd ever seen balanced on one hand. I was literally fed (he wouldn't let me eat by myself) an array of things, from soup to fruit to chicken and lime Jell-O for desert. I let him feed me mostly because I knew It would make him happy, but it was kind of nice.

When I couldn't fit another bite in my mouth, he stopped and took the food away. He must have just set it on the floor beside the bed, but I couldn't smell all the different foods, so I'm not sure if it was there. My eyes were sliding sleepily shut, although I tried my hardest to keep them open. The bed dipped and the covers were drawn back as he slid in beside me and wrapped his arms around me once more. Cool, smooth, liquid stone surrounded me, pressed firm but gentle to my side. I could hear him breathing, and felt his heart beat slowly in his chest. Like before, I felt so safe in his arms, it was easy to close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

Instead, I squirmed in his embrace and turned myself around so I was facing him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my lips to his, this time slipping my tongue into his mouth for a deep drink of him.

There was nowhere in the world I would have wanted to be, except for right there beside him. He filled every yearning I had for comfort and stability, despite our strange and hectic lifestyle. I could have cried, feeling so complete as I lay with him, and it occurred to me, as I drifted between consciousness and sleep, that I loved him.