Day 3: The Return of Merf
[How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants Take ref.]
(Be afraid, be very afraid-you know somewhere between bed wetting and a near death experience)
Well it was official, Demon had found a new mommy, more specifically Wanda. In fact Demon loved his new mommy so much he followed her everywhere. Everyone was so amused by this they took some of their profits and had a king-sized dog bed FedEx-ed by over night, first class, air mail.
Wanda-was not amused. Toad was bad enough, but now a deranged polo pony?! Could the week get and weirder? (Rest assured my extraordinary readers, it can and I will!)
The bed was delivered at ten in the morning. The FedEx guy walked up in full uniform with two clipboards.
Wanda looked up from her paperwork, "Merf?!"
"It's nice to see you again too," said Merf sarcastically, "sign here," he held out the clip board.
Merf left and returned with a sizable box. Opened it and put the bed next to Wanda's desk.
"That must be one hell of a watch dog," remarked Merf.
"You have no idea," said Wand rolling her eyes.
"Aren't you going to call him and see if he likes it?" asked Merf.
"Alright," said Wanda, "It's your funeral," she whistled.
Demon bounded into the room like one ton terrier puppy, but stopped dead at the sight of Merf.
Demon stood motionless for a moment-then pounced on Merf, leveling him and licking his face.
"He's never done that before," said Wanda in confusion as she leaned over her desk for a better view.
Merf just laughed as Demon sniffed his FedEx uniform and snorted.
"Do you two need to be alone?" asked Wanda raising an eye brow.
"That's ok." said Merf chuckling as he rose to his feet, "We're onlt two old friends saying 'hello'."
"'Old friends'?" Wanda was intrigued.
"Ya, Dante's Inferno and I go way back, like recliners," explained Merf as he stroked Demon's nose.
"No shit?" said Wanda sarcastically at Merf's comparison.
Merf decided to ignore her last comment, "We met on the circuit a few years back and made a great team. We won every race we entered up until that last one with the freak rain storm-"
"You were the jockey who rode Demon the night he was electrocuted?!" Wanda asked.
"Ya," said Merf, "who did you think lifted the gate off of his neck. He probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't. By the time he had come out of the ER his owner and my boos at the time had already sold him. Right then I gave him my resignation-the finger, walked out and went freelance and have been ever since."
"Why didn't you just buy him?" asked Wanda.
"With what?!" asked Merf, "The second I left all my benefits and insurance went too I only had was a couple hundred in savings and that had to hold me over through the off season! Lady, I can still barely afford to take care of myself and I have two full-time and one part-time job in the off season! It takes thousands to keep a horse. I can't even think about buying him for another four years!"
"What happens in four years?!" now Wanda was really confused.
"My trust fund matures in four years," said Merf putting Demon's forelock behind one of his ears.
"Trust fund?!"
"Ya, my parents are actually very wealthy. They spend 2/3 of every year jet setting through Europe with my older sister and her husband, an Austrian Barron. They're pissed at me because I wouldn't let them arrange my marriage. They kicked me out of the house when I was 18 with nothing, but the clothes on my back, but because I was the oldest boy in my family my grandfather signed over his entire fortune to me when I was born because he didn't want my father to have it the money-"
"Maternal grandfather I take it," said Wanda.
"Ya, why?" asked Merf.
"Just wondering. By the way, why the hell are you telling me all of this?" asked Wanda crossing her arms.
"Useless secondary character plot, it has to go somewhere." explained Merf flatly, "I'm also here to see a Mister L-L-Le-"
"LeBeau," corrected Wanda, "top of the stairs, first left."
"Great, thanks," said Merf.
"Why do you need to see him?" asked Wanda.
"Something about a helicopter blade," said Merf as he walked towards the staircase.
"Wait you know how to repair helicopters?!" asked Wanda a bit shocked.
"Ya, my parents own all kinds of aircrafts. I used to hang out with the technician. This is my other full-time job."
"Then what's your part-time job?" asked Wanda.
"I'm a short order chef in a diner about ten miles from here."
"That's kind of ironic," said Wanda chucking a bit at his height, "you being short and all."
Merf flared his nostrils, "Like I've never heard that before and further more the preferred term is 'vertically challenged'!"
Wanda was barely able to hold her composure until Merf was out of earshot before she nearly fell out of her chair laughing.
-------------
There was a knock at Remy's office door.
"Come in!" he said after a brief pause.
Merf walked in, "I'm here about a helicopter."
"Oui, Jamie will bring you down non?" said Remy as he buzzed the youngest member of the X-Men.
Jamie could be heard running up the stairs. He burst through the door and into the office nearly out of breath.
"Jamie, take the technician to down to de hanger-de hell you outta breath, pup?" asked Remy.
"I just came from the 9th layer of hell," Jamie sputtered between gasps.
"Quoi?" Remy was lost.
"Pyro and me are the only two waiters handling lunch, we can hardly catch a two second break.
"Take him down to de hanger an' Gambit gon' find de rest o' de wait staff, hear?"
"Ok," said Jamie as he lead Merf down to the basement.
"Dere gone," said Gambit after the door closed.
"Fiahnally, that took forevah," said a rather annoyed Rogue walking out from behind the curtain in nothing but her underwear.
-------------
"Whoa, what the hell did you guys do put this thing through a blender?" asked Merf when he saw what was left of the helicopter.
"Can you fix it?" asked Jamie nervously.
"Ya, but it's gonna take me awhile. All the same you should probably light some candles and pray anyway, kid-you know just a precaution."
"It is really that bad?" asked Jamie.
"While your at it why don't you bring some holy men back with you, ya know a priest, a rabbi, a few Buddhist monks and a really big ladder," said Merf, who was unable to take is eyes off the live, sparking wires dangling off either side of the helicopter's cabin and the propeller which was sill suspended in the recently dented hanger door.
"I can probably get a ladder, I don't know about that other stuff though, anything else?"
"Electrical gloves, a shit load of coffee and a whole lot of time," said Merf.
"I don't how to tell you this," said Jamie, "but we are kind of on a schedule here."
"Your kidding, right? Tell me that was some sick attempt a humor!"
"No actually we need it done in two days," said Jamie calmly.
"Kid, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't fix this-this monstrosity in two weeks!" exclaimed Merf as how much electrical work was needed began to sink in, let alone re-attaching the blades straight as opposed to lopsided.
"Well of course not!" said Jamie, "Those little fuckers couldn't even put an egg back together!"
Merf just put his hand over his eyes and sighed.
Then the phone rang.
Jamie walked over and picked it up, "Mutant Manor, how can I help you?" just like Rogue told him to do, "You've reached the hanger."
"Jamie? It's Scott. What are you talking about?!"
-------------
By the time Remy and Rogue had rounded up and sent Amara, Bobby, Berzerker and Sunspot to the dining room lunch was half over. They decided it was best not to disturb Piotr and Kitty considering all those 'late nights' they put in (hehe).
Remy and Rogue had just returned to Gambit's office. Rogue sat down in his chair and Remy had started to rub her shoulders when Jamie burst in.
BAM!
The door flew open.
"De hell?!" Remy looked up to see an incredibly distraught Jamie before him.
"What's the problem now?" asked Rouge rather annoyed.
"Scott just called!" said Jamie.
"So?" said Rouge, "He's a total control freak of course he called to see how things were going."
"You didn' tell anyting right, pup?" said Remy in a dangerous tone.
"No, no! You don't understand." exclaimed Jamie, "They're coming back a day early!"
[How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants Take ref.]
(Be afraid, be very afraid-you know somewhere between bed wetting and a near death experience)
Well it was official, Demon had found a new mommy, more specifically Wanda. In fact Demon loved his new mommy so much he followed her everywhere. Everyone was so amused by this they took some of their profits and had a king-sized dog bed FedEx-ed by over night, first class, air mail.
Wanda-was not amused. Toad was bad enough, but now a deranged polo pony?! Could the week get and weirder? (Rest assured my extraordinary readers, it can and I will!)
The bed was delivered at ten in the morning. The FedEx guy walked up in full uniform with two clipboards.
Wanda looked up from her paperwork, "Merf?!"
"It's nice to see you again too," said Merf sarcastically, "sign here," he held out the clip board.
Merf left and returned with a sizable box. Opened it and put the bed next to Wanda's desk.
"That must be one hell of a watch dog," remarked Merf.
"You have no idea," said Wand rolling her eyes.
"Aren't you going to call him and see if he likes it?" asked Merf.
"Alright," said Wanda, "It's your funeral," she whistled.
Demon bounded into the room like one ton terrier puppy, but stopped dead at the sight of Merf.
Demon stood motionless for a moment-then pounced on Merf, leveling him and licking his face.
"He's never done that before," said Wanda in confusion as she leaned over her desk for a better view.
Merf just laughed as Demon sniffed his FedEx uniform and snorted.
"Do you two need to be alone?" asked Wanda raising an eye brow.
"That's ok." said Merf chuckling as he rose to his feet, "We're onlt two old friends saying 'hello'."
"'Old friends'?" Wanda was intrigued.
"Ya, Dante's Inferno and I go way back, like recliners," explained Merf as he stroked Demon's nose.
"No shit?" said Wanda sarcastically at Merf's comparison.
Merf decided to ignore her last comment, "We met on the circuit a few years back and made a great team. We won every race we entered up until that last one with the freak rain storm-"
"You were the jockey who rode Demon the night he was electrocuted?!" Wanda asked.
"Ya," said Merf, "who did you think lifted the gate off of his neck. He probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't. By the time he had come out of the ER his owner and my boos at the time had already sold him. Right then I gave him my resignation-the finger, walked out and went freelance and have been ever since."
"Why didn't you just buy him?" asked Wanda.
"With what?!" asked Merf, "The second I left all my benefits and insurance went too I only had was a couple hundred in savings and that had to hold me over through the off season! Lady, I can still barely afford to take care of myself and I have two full-time and one part-time job in the off season! It takes thousands to keep a horse. I can't even think about buying him for another four years!"
"What happens in four years?!" now Wanda was really confused.
"My trust fund matures in four years," said Merf putting Demon's forelock behind one of his ears.
"Trust fund?!"
"Ya, my parents are actually very wealthy. They spend 2/3 of every year jet setting through Europe with my older sister and her husband, an Austrian Barron. They're pissed at me because I wouldn't let them arrange my marriage. They kicked me out of the house when I was 18 with nothing, but the clothes on my back, but because I was the oldest boy in my family my grandfather signed over his entire fortune to me when I was born because he didn't want my father to have it the money-"
"Maternal grandfather I take it," said Wanda.
"Ya, why?" asked Merf.
"Just wondering. By the way, why the hell are you telling me all of this?" asked Wanda crossing her arms.
"Useless secondary character plot, it has to go somewhere." explained Merf flatly, "I'm also here to see a Mister L-L-Le-"
"LeBeau," corrected Wanda, "top of the stairs, first left."
"Great, thanks," said Merf.
"Why do you need to see him?" asked Wanda.
"Something about a helicopter blade," said Merf as he walked towards the staircase.
"Wait you know how to repair helicopters?!" asked Wanda a bit shocked.
"Ya, my parents own all kinds of aircrafts. I used to hang out with the technician. This is my other full-time job."
"Then what's your part-time job?" asked Wanda.
"I'm a short order chef in a diner about ten miles from here."
"That's kind of ironic," said Wanda chucking a bit at his height, "you being short and all."
Merf flared his nostrils, "Like I've never heard that before and further more the preferred term is 'vertically challenged'!"
Wanda was barely able to hold her composure until Merf was out of earshot before she nearly fell out of her chair laughing.
-------------
There was a knock at Remy's office door.
"Come in!" he said after a brief pause.
Merf walked in, "I'm here about a helicopter."
"Oui, Jamie will bring you down non?" said Remy as he buzzed the youngest member of the X-Men.
Jamie could be heard running up the stairs. He burst through the door and into the office nearly out of breath.
"Jamie, take the technician to down to de hanger-de hell you outta breath, pup?" asked Remy.
"I just came from the 9th layer of hell," Jamie sputtered between gasps.
"Quoi?" Remy was lost.
"Pyro and me are the only two waiters handling lunch, we can hardly catch a two second break.
"Take him down to de hanger an' Gambit gon' find de rest o' de wait staff, hear?"
"Ok," said Jamie as he lead Merf down to the basement.
"Dere gone," said Gambit after the door closed.
"Fiahnally, that took forevah," said a rather annoyed Rogue walking out from behind the curtain in nothing but her underwear.
-------------
"Whoa, what the hell did you guys do put this thing through a blender?" asked Merf when he saw what was left of the helicopter.
"Can you fix it?" asked Jamie nervously.
"Ya, but it's gonna take me awhile. All the same you should probably light some candles and pray anyway, kid-you know just a precaution."
"It is really that bad?" asked Jamie.
"While your at it why don't you bring some holy men back with you, ya know a priest, a rabbi, a few Buddhist monks and a really big ladder," said Merf, who was unable to take is eyes off the live, sparking wires dangling off either side of the helicopter's cabin and the propeller which was sill suspended in the recently dented hanger door.
"I can probably get a ladder, I don't know about that other stuff though, anything else?"
"Electrical gloves, a shit load of coffee and a whole lot of time," said Merf.
"I don't how to tell you this," said Jamie, "but we are kind of on a schedule here."
"Your kidding, right? Tell me that was some sick attempt a humor!"
"No actually we need it done in two days," said Jamie calmly.
"Kid, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't fix this-this monstrosity in two weeks!" exclaimed Merf as how much electrical work was needed began to sink in, let alone re-attaching the blades straight as opposed to lopsided.
"Well of course not!" said Jamie, "Those little fuckers couldn't even put an egg back together!"
Merf just put his hand over his eyes and sighed.
Then the phone rang.
Jamie walked over and picked it up, "Mutant Manor, how can I help you?" just like Rogue told him to do, "You've reached the hanger."
"Jamie? It's Scott. What are you talking about?!"
-------------
By the time Remy and Rogue had rounded up and sent Amara, Bobby, Berzerker and Sunspot to the dining room lunch was half over. They decided it was best not to disturb Piotr and Kitty considering all those 'late nights' they put in (hehe).
Remy and Rogue had just returned to Gambit's office. Rogue sat down in his chair and Remy had started to rub her shoulders when Jamie burst in.
BAM!
The door flew open.
"De hell?!" Remy looked up to see an incredibly distraught Jamie before him.
"What's the problem now?" asked Rouge rather annoyed.
"Scott just called!" said Jamie.
"So?" said Rouge, "He's a total control freak of course he called to see how things were going."
"You didn' tell anyting right, pup?" said Remy in a dangerous tone.
"No, no! You don't understand." exclaimed Jamie, "They're coming back a day early!"
