The Vampire Heero
Part Fifteen
By Lady AngelFiren
It was inevitable that I fall back asleep with very little effort, after laying under the cold water for about five minutes, My eyes drooped, and I felt like I was going into hibernation. I like that part of being a vampire, there is no insomnia. As long as the sun was out, I had no problems sleeping through the rest of the day. Waking up, however, was a different matter.
It was around ten o'clock when I finally felt Heero shaking me. I was laying on my bed in the dorm. He must have hauled my ass outta the shower and turned off the water, but the cold had made me fall more deeply asleep, so I didn't wake until later. It was dark in the room, and the drapes were still shut, blocking out the moonlight. Of course I had no trouble seeing Heero, who was sitting at my side. I yawned and shifted onto my stomach, burying my head under the pillow.
"Duo, wake up."
"I dun wanna," I whined from under my pillow. Heero pulled the pillow off my head and started to tickle me. I kicked him across the room in between my giggles., forgetting just how strong I was now. He wasn't mad, just a little disgruntled that I had been laughing so loud. With any luck some of the students in the building might actually still be asleep, but he doubted it, or so he told me. I grinned at him and got out of bed, the new, but somehow very familiar hunger awakening as soon as I started to move. I looked at Heero, who was opening the curtains to let the moonlight in. It was a little darker than it had been last night, the moon was waning.
"You know what I'm going to ask you."
"Ah, you're hungry."
"Hai, where did you plan on taking me tonight."
"I don't plan on taking you."
"But Heero"
"You are very capable of finding something to eat on your ownI'm not going to completely abandon you Duo, I'm going to go with you, you're just going to do all the work. You have to know how to find something to eat for yourself, what if I get a mission and I have to leave? You can't expect me to lead you foreverI know its only been a few nights, but you learn quickly. If anything goes really wrong I'll be right there to help you out."
"I guess that's ok"
I looked into Heero's face nervously. Did he honestly expect that I could do this all by myself? And what about that witchI still wanted to read more of her book, and find out how three of the Tarot cards from her deck had mysteriously ended up in my dream, and on the bathroom counter in the middle of the day. Who could have known I would wake up and find them? Had she somehow managed to travel to the future? I reminded myself to look for the meanings of the cards when I came back, and while I was at it I planned to find out what The Fool card meant, and the 4 of Swords. Maybe there was a message that someone was trying to get to me. I clasped my fingers around the little silver cross that dangled from my neck, and got changed into a pair of black jeans and a red T-shirt with a Coke logo on it. My hair was loose, and it was six inches longer than it had been after Heero had cut it last nightwhich meant it was exactly as long as it should be.
I went into the bathroom and locked the door, then got the scissors from the toothpaste drawer and looked at my reflection. I didn't think I would ever get used to how far from human I looked when I saw myself. The fact that my lips no longer had any colour was justweird. Maybe I would have to wear some kind of lipstick if I wanted to play humanlike when I started going to classes again. And my eyesI would have to learn how to make them look like they did before I got changed, the whole silver bit would never work. Still, even if my eyes and lips looked the same, wuld anyone believe I was human? Everything about my body had become soft, my hair was really shiny, unnaturally lustrous. My fingernails, now that I looked at them, were too clear, almost as if I were wearing nail polish, and when I moved, I didn't really look like I had moved.it was like I was a glass of water sloshing aroundeven I couldn't tell that I had to use my muscles to move my body, it seemed more like I would flow from one position to the next without any effort. I felt like I could do a triathlon and not be tired.endless energy. I drew back my lips and leaned close to the mirror, examining my teeth. They were the same as beforewell maybe a little whiterexcept, of course, for my eye teeth, which had become cleverly designed little fangs. Raising a finger to the tip of one tooth, I instantly felt it prick through my skin and a drop of blood managed to worm its way out of the tiny wound before it closed up, as if it had never been there. I would have to be careful of how I smiled, the fangs were definitely recognizable, they just weren't really dramatic and huge.
Turning my attention back to my hair as I had originally intended to come in here for, I raised the scissors, gathered my hair together , and chopped it off so that it was about chin length all over. I had no idea what to do with the long hairs in my handsThey were all over two feet long, and I have thick hair, so there was a lot of it. However, as I watched, each individual strand began to dissolve and crumble away, until I was left with a pile of dust on the counter and in the sink. It was a little scary to seethere was a statement in the way parts of me turned to nothing as soon as they left me. It seemed like something was telling me that I was unrealthat I didn't matter. I took a breath and blew the dust into the air. It dissolved more, and never settled back down on the counter, it was just gone. Strange. I swung my head from side to side, testing the feel of lightness now that my hair was short, then I put the scissors awayand walked out of the bathroom to find Heero waiting for me. He was wearing jeans and a worn leather jacket that he had obviously had for awhile. If he hadn't taken care of it, it would have been nothing but rags by now.
"Ready to go?" he asked me when he saw me.
"Yessirlike the hair?"
"Short"
"Uh huh, I was wondering how it would look."
"Where are we hunting tonight?"
"UhhhI haven't thought of that yetwhere's a good place to go?"
"Don't knowyou have to choose."
"You can't help me at all? Is this a test or something? What do I get if I pass?" I grinned at Heero and sidled up to him, running my fingers over the smooth leather of his jacket and inhaling the scent of it. I pressed myself against him and kissed his lips, tugging on his bottom lip with my teeth, although I denied him my tongue even when he parted his jaws to let me in. "I guess if you can't help me then I can't kiss youuntil later. There's always later. Let's go, I'll figure out where we're going when we get there."
Heero hnned at me as if to say that he didn't like us going anywhere without a plan, but I ignored him and hopped out the window. He followed me quickly. I looked around. The city lay to the general leftwhich would mean we'd be travelling Southeast. That sounded fine to me, so I started off to the parking lot.
"Duo, where are you going? I won't let you look for people near the school, we could end up incriminating ourselveswe have a lot of reasons not to want to be caught."
"I'm getting us a driveif you think I'm traipsing through the woods when I could be driving you're a very crazy dead man Heero. Any preference for cars?"
"Noyou're going to steal a car?"
"Duh. Well, I'm going to borrow one, I'll return it."
"But we could be connected with a killing if somebody gets a licensee plate numberor fingerprintsor anything like that. Cars are dangerous.they leave a trail."
"I don't care. Fuck the trail, I'm driving. And I know just the ride I want" I couldn't suppress my grin as I walked up to the sweetest wheels in the lotbrand spanking new Corvette, black, of course. It belonged to Karl, whom I knew was no longer around, thanks to me and Heero. No one would miss this car for an evening. No doubt Heero had covered for my sloppy kill, telling the school some yarn about Karl going one place or another for awhile, so there was no way that he would be reported missing. Of course,, when he didn't ever come back and all his stuff, plus his car were left at the school, there would be a police investigation, and it was possible they would search the vehicle for clues, so I told myself firstly, that I couldn't let Heero know this was Karl's drive, and secondly that I would not leave evidence of any kind.
It was a cinch to get in and disarm the alarm system. It took me one minute exactly to have the 'vette all wired up and ready to go. I have some experience in the car borrowing department. I unlocked the passenger side door for Heero and he climbed in, pulling the door shut behind him as I roared out of the parking lot.
"Duo, why did you pick Karl's car? This is really stupid of you."
"How do you know its his car?"
"I can smell him on the seatsyou probably never noticed Karl's smell before, because you were human at the time. I wasn't. Its easy to recognize people by scent. As disgusting as he was, he was usually showered, but he still had his own individual scent, and its all over this car. You are not thinking aheadyou have to remember that people will eventually figure out he is not on vacation"
"Yes mom, save the lecture for later, I think I can handle stealing some dumb fuck's car for the evening, ok? Jesus Christ, you're worse than a momI thinkI don't really remember actually having onebut you have to be worsenobody's ever nagged me as bad as you do."
"I just don't want you to get in more trouble than you have to."
"Look Heero, like yourself, I am a professional terrorist, and now I'm immortal on top of that. I've got it covered. Now, where are we gonna eat? The least you could do it tell me where not to go, so I know. What with the stolen car and all, you'd think I could stand to have a little help picking a restaurant. And damn I'm hungry I think I want two tonightmaybe one and a halfdunno. How hungry are you?"
"Go down the next alley on your right, all the way to the end, then stop the car."
"Finally decided to help me?"
"Something like that."
I followed Heero's directions, careful to keep the car in perfect condition. The mouth of the alley was narrow, but it widened out into a small parking lot. There was glass everywhere, I was careful to avoid it as I parked. I stopped the car and got out. Heero did the same. He came around to my side of the vehicle as I was looking around. There were some cats in the alley, no people that I noticed yet My search was interrupted as Heero crammed his fist into my face with enough force to kill. I was very glad I was not mortal as I sank to the ground in shock, blood trickling from my nose and mouth.
I was very quickly back on my feet, glaring angrily Heero. He seemed unperturbed. "What the FUCK was that for!?"
"You're acting like an ass Duo."
"So you've taken it upon yourself to keep me in line?"
"No, I am making sure you understand that everything you do has consequences, and that stealing a dead man's car and parading around the city is not going to get you anywhere but dead. I know you think now that you're immortal you can do anything, but you can't. The world is run by humans.and although we happen to need their blood to stay sane and fed, they are in control. No matter how much you want to be more powerful than every orphaned kid on the street and every old lady sitting in her house all alone, you aren't, because every other person in the world is very ready to back those people up, no matter how much they don't like them. They will always hate us more. You can't change that. Being this way means that you are always going to hide, always going to runyou will eventually understand the weight of how many people you kill, and the fact that you are worth nothingI wish I could die, but I'm too scared to kill myself now, because of all the bad things I've done, all the people that had to die because I decided for them that they weren't going to live anymore. It's a fragile thing to convince yourself that you are almost doing good, rooting out the crooks and clearing away the elderly, but you will always know, Duo, that you are a killer at heart, and no matter how much you want not to be, you can't change what you are. I made you this way, you can hate me, but I know you won't. At least if I try and teach you a few things, then I will know that you aren't going to go out of control and start killing innocent people left and right. Being a vampire is about being selfish. You learn really quickly that the only thing that matters to you is you, despite how much you love and care for other things. It has to be this way, because you are the only thing that does not ever changeyou just watch everything around you move and flow, and you always stay the same. Does it make sense Duo? Can you see what I'm trying to tell you?"
I blinked and nodded at Heero. There was fire in his eyes.in his heart. He had lived all these years aloneno wonder he was convinced that things went one way, and that way was never goodI would have to change his view on things. But I didn't like some of what I was hearingI couldn't keep it to myself either.
"Sowe have powerbut we rely on people to stay powerfulwithout them, there is nothing?"
"Ahit's a sad circlewe feed on them, and they fear and hate us, Every kid probably wants to meet a real vampire and all, but it never seems to work out how they imagine, because at the heart of everythinga vampire is a parasite.a leech."
"Heeroyou must really hate yourself a lot"
"I do."
"I'm sorry I'm soyoung. And optimistic. Sorry I don't think the world is a black hole. Sorry I don't think everything sucks as badly as you are convinced it does. Sorry I'm hungry, and sorry that you decided to make me into this horrible monster instead of killing me. But you can't convince me Heero, that you saved me just because you are selfish. I don't believe it. I don't think I'm special, or really different from most peopleI deserved to die as much as any of the other people that you killed to stay full, but you didn't kill me. You changed me instead. What did you see that made you decide to change me? If you haven't made another vampire all your life.if you've gone for one hundred and seventy two years all alone, never brave enough to make a monster as bad as you are, then why did you decide that I was fit to be like you? I can't possibly be the first person you ever lovedit isn't that you wanted me all to yourself Heero.it isn't that you were afraid to let me die, there's something else, something more. What do you know? What made you change me? So many other people have what I haveI know I survive through more than I shouldI know how to handle death guilt pretty well, but those are skillsthey can be taught, or learned over time. What is so very fucking special about little ol' me that you had cause to try this? Did you even know if it would work when you tried it? You calculate everything. You analyze everything. I don't believe for a second that you expected to let me grow old and die. So there has to be some reason behind it all"
"There is. Maybe. I'm not going to tell you my view on what happened, and I'm not going to tell you how long I knew I couldn't let you die. You'll just have to accept that. Maybe you'll find out on your own. You probably will, like you said, you have skills.you're good at getting information. Either way, now you have eternity to think about all of this...but right now I am hungry, and I know you're hungryso I suggest we find something to eat before you run into the street and attack somebody."
I wasn't mad at Heero for not revealing his reasons behind everything he had done. And I was definitely famished by this point, so getting food now and talking more later was the best thing I could think of doing.
I sighed and locked up the car (a lot of good that would do if anyone even half as smart as me decided to steal it, but what the hell), then walked out into the middle of the alley and tried to think of where I could find a person or two that I could hunt. It was harder than I thought it would be. You would think that being a vampire and all, there would be something to justify the fact that I really had no business choosing and picking who should die, but I had to make that choice, and there was nothing I could do about it. I led Heero out of the alley onto the street we had come from. I had already healed up from his punch, and the small amount of blood that had dripped down my face and neck had already turned to nothing and was gone on the breeze. Heero looked a little nervous...clearly he did not trust me to make a good decision tonight...or maybe he though I did not have enough self control to wait until I found people fit to die before I went berserk and killed something. Smart bastard.
There were a few shops lining this road, but they were all closed up for the night save a 24-hour convenience store/gas station. I looked around. There weren't very many people out. The smell of blood wasn't too strong around here, so I wasn't too intently thinking of foodI was attempting to concentrate on finding the right person. Heero had said I would feel something from the people who were ready to gobut I didn't feel a thing. It was frustrating, cause I could tell he knew that there were people in the area, and he wasn't telling me. I turned to him and grinned, trying to buy myself some time. I felt like I was being tested by him, judged.
"Heerothis is hardI've never had to just randomly pick people off before"
"Take your time Duo, you have all night."
"I know, but I'm hungry now."
"Ok, I'll help you a little. Close your eyes. What can you smell?"
I did as he instructed and shut my eyes. "I smell grasscars, exhaust. Garbage, cigarettesthere's lots of people around hereI just don't know where they are. That's my problem. I could smell all this stuff beforebut it doesn't help me decide.."
"You aren't done yet. Shut up for a minute and listen. Don't look for anything in particular, just tell me what you can hear."
I listened. I took a few deep breaths, and listened to the noises coming from all around me. "I hear carssirens far away people walkinglittle things, maybe they're rats in a dumpster somewhere. I can hear a dog barking.there are bids flying somewhere overhead, I can hear their feathers in the wind.people breathing.I can hear blood, heartbeatssomebody is going to kill themselves in a building near hereand there is an old man with emphysema who doesn't want to get up anymore.he wants to die.I can hear how he feels Heero can't breathe"
Heero's hand on my shoulder snapped me out of my little trance of sounds that weren't really sounds at all, but feelings and thoughts of people around here. Someone was going to commit suicidebut they were young. I wanted to help them. And that poor old manhe deserved to be put to restthe poor fucker didn't have much time left anyway, I could feel that But now that Heero had snapped me back to where we really were, I couldn't tell where any of those things had been coming from. I looked at Heero, feeling overwhelmed by the things I had just sensed for the first time. I wasn't used to being able to feel things like that.
"Who is going to die Duo?"
"I don't know"
"Yes you do. You have to choose. That person who plans to kill themselvesis it a good choice? Have they planned it all out, or do they just want it to be over? A suicide is a good cover for murder. But then, you have to think, is it really fair to help someone end their own life? What about the man you were talking about, the one who can't breathe anymoremaybe he would be a wiser choice. Of course, killing him is simply murderit always is. This is about playing God, you don't have a choice. Who's it going to be Duo?"
I looked at Heero in confusion, I had no idea. All these choicesnow I had to decide who to kill, it was down to the black and white decision, and I didn't know what to do. What if I messed up, made the wrong choice?
