Anything But Ordinary

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Summary: Luna on the Hogwarts express, book five – might go further.

Disclaimer: JKR owns the stuff, the plot, the characters – everything. Avril Lavigne owns the song in the prologue. In short, I own nothing. Not even Luna's thoughts, for she herself is the only one who has power over them. They come from her character. As rambling comes from mine... (End rant – I mean disclaimer)

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Chapter One: The Train

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Luna flipped carefully to page twenty-seven of her father's magazine, The Quibbler, searching for the caption she wanted. Sure enough, there was the article on ancient runes – and the spell it featured. She desperately wanted to learn how to make her enemy's ears turn to kumquats. Such fun it would be.

She stuck her wand, which had up until now been lying on the seat, behind her own right ear. Luna turned the magazine wrong-side-up, her unblinking eyes sweeping the page for the hidden runes and the spell. Her face cracked into a grin when she spotted the runes that could be translated into the incantation. Now, if only she could remember what the ancient runes book had said...

A sudden noise outside the train compartment broke her reverie. She did not move immediately, wondering what it was but not acting on it. Curiosity killed the cat... she thought whimsically – her mother's old sayings often came back to her when she was least expecting it.

There was another noise outside in the corridor – the round, shiny face of a boy – someone she recognized – a Gryffindor, though she didn't know what year or what his name was - became visible in the window of the sliding compartment door. He seemed to want somewhere to sit; otherwise he wouldn't be dragging his trunk about the place.

The door opened a crack; the boy looked in, and let out a small, embarrassed squeak. He hurriedly slid it shut, and moved along, dragging his trunk behind him with an obvious effort. Luna turned back to The Quibbler, her expression unchanged

A voice spoke outside her compartment, undoubtedly the one of the round-faced boy. "Hi, Harry. Hi, Ginny...everywhere's full...can't find a seat..."

Ginny could be heard speaking now. "There's room in this one, only Loony Lovegood in here –"

The boy mumbled something indistinct, and Luna tried desperately to remember what the runes text had said about the symbols that were on this page...she was sure she had read about this one...

"Don't be silly," she could hear Ginny saying outside the door, "she's all right."

The door slid open and Ginny, round-faced-boy, and Harry – Harry Potter – walked tentatively inside, their large trunks dragging along in their wake.

"Hi, Luna," said Ginny, smiling, and panting from the weight of her trunk. "Is it okay if we take these seats?"

Luna wasn't really listening. She was concentrating hard on the third rune of the second column – she was so sure she knew it...

But, if only out of politeness, she looked up. She looked at round-faced-boy, who looked back rather nervously, and then looked around the compartment at Harry. She nodded, and picked up her magazine. But at the moment she did not busy herself with the runes.

"Thanks," said Ginny, smiling and stowing away her trunk under one of the seats.

Harry Potter had taken the seat across from her. She looked at him in an almost accusing way, though she didn't mean it. He looked weary: his eyes had dark circles around them, and his face looked pale, though whether this was normal Luna did not know. He also looked slightly perturbed, as though something had angered him but he did not want to show it.

"Had a good summer, Luna?" Ginny asked casually, sitting down next to Harry and the other boy on the seat across.

"Yes," said Luna, only vaguely aware of what she was saying. "Yes, it was quite enjoyable, you know." She addressed Harry more consciously. "You're Harry Potter."

"I know I am," said Harry, looking at her blankly. Round-faced-one chuckled, as if he thought this was funny, and Luna turned to him instead. "And I don't know who you are."

The boy's face reddened. "I'm nobody," he muttered, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the compartment.

"No you're not," Ginny snapped. "Neville Longbottom – Luna Lovegood. Luna's in my year, but in Ravenclaw."

Luna smiled, and recalled yet another of her mother's verses. "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure," she quoted, in that singsong voice she often used while saying these things aloud. She then held up her magazine and began searching again for the right rune.

As Luna worked her way through the columns of rune text, the train sped on, taking them further and further up north, away from cities and up into the wild country, the clouds now forming an ominous barrier between the sun and the Earth. The other residents of the compartment chatted merrily as they continued their journey.

"Guess what I got for my birthday?" the one called Neville inquired of the others.

"Another Remembrall?" asked Harry.

"No," said Neville excitedly. He stopped a moment. "I could do with one, though, I lost the old one ages ago....No, look at this....

"Mimbulus Mimbletonia," said Neville proudly. Luna peered around her magazine at it. It looked like a cross between a cactus and someone with bad acne – it was also moving, ever so slightly. To Luna, it looked fascinating.

"It's really, really rare," Neville went on impressively. "I don't know if there's one in the greenhouse at Hogwarts, even. I can't wait to show it to Professor Sprout. My great-uncle Algie got it for me in Assyria. I'm going to see if I can breed from it."

Luna retreated behind The Quibbler once more. Then Harry voiced Luna's own curiosity. "Does it – er – do anything?"

"Loads of stuff!" Neville said proudly, brandishing his Mimbulus Mimbletonia. "It's got an amazing defensive mechanism – hold Trevor for me...."

Neville dumped his toad into Harry's lap. Luna watched with mild interest as he took a quill out from his schoolbag, held up his plant with mute concentration, and jabbed it with the sharp point of the quill.

Out of instinct, Luna ducked her head, concealing herself behind her magazine as the slimy, dark green liquid squirted from Neville's plant. It splattered all over her front, and the parts of her that weren't concealed by The Quibbler. She took this opportunity to study the runes in the article, and promptly recognised the fifth rune on the seventh column. So the spell was Frugesco...something.

"S-sorry," she heard Neville gasp. "I've never tried that before....Didn't realize it would be quite so..." Harry spat out a mouthful of the green liquid, and Neville added, a bit nervously, "Don't worry, though, Stinksap's not poisonous."

The door slid open, and Luna looked around discreetly. It was Cho Chang, a fellow Ravenclaw, two years above.

Cho looked around the compartment, and her eyes fell on Harry, obviously the one she was looking for. "Oh...hello, Harry...Um...bad time?" she said nervously.

Harry wiped the lenses of his glasses, looked at Cho, and blushed crimson under the coat of Stinksap now dripping off of his face. "Oh...hi," he said blankly.

"Um..." said Cho, blushing, though it was much less obvious than Harry's (this was an accomplishment, as Harry's face was covered entirely in Stinksap). "Well...just thought I'd say hello...'bye then..."


She closed the door and departed. As she did so, Harry moaned in the seat across. Luna observed him, and found that she felt a bit sorry for him. That had definitely been the wrong moment, she thought, for someone he fancied to come walking in to say hello.

Ginny cleared up the Stinksap with a quick Scouring Charm, and Neville apologized, sounding extremely sorry and looking like he felt extremely stupid.

Nearly an hour later, two more people entered the train compartment. By this time Luna had completely translated the kumquat-ears spell ("Frugesco Surdus") and was now reading the well written article on Sirius Black's true identity – the lead singer of The  Hobgoblins, Stubby Boardman. But she looked up over the top of her magazine when the two figures entered the room, both wearing Gryffindor prefect badges. One, the girl, had brown, extremely bushy hair, and was standing very close to the other, who was a tall, lanky, red-haired boy carrying a very tiny owl. In their wake came a large, bandy-legged ginger cat.

Luna immediately recognized the boy as Ron Weasley – the boy in the maroon dress robes who had gone to the ball with Padma Patil. The girl, however, it took Luna a little longer to recognize –  but when she did she knew it was Hermione Granger, the one who had studied with them in Luna's second year. She wondered vaguely if Ron still had that rat she had been fuming about.

"I'm starving," said Ron, stowing his caged owl, screeching like mad, next to Harry's calm, white one, and grabbing the nearest piece of food he could find. He bit off the head of the chocolate frog, closing his eyes exhaustedly.

Hermione sat down as well, sighing and looking tremendously discontented. "Well, there are two fifth-year prefects from each house. Boy and girl from each."

"And guess who's Slytherin prefect?" Ron moaned, his eyes still closed

"Malfoy," said Harry, as if this was something horrible yet not unexpected.

"'Course," said Ron bitterly. He ate the rest of his Chocolate Frog, and snatched another hungrily from the pile on the seat.

"And that complete cow, Pansy Parkinson," said Hermione. Luna suppressed a small laugh in spite of herself. But she had to admit, to hear Hermione Granger call anyone a "cow" or other such indignities was rather amusing. "How she got to be a prefect when she's thicker than a concussed troll..." Luna hid her face behind her magazine to hide the mirthful grin that spread across her face at this comment.

"Who's Hufflepuff?" asked Harry, and it seemed he was only asking to get off the subject of the Slytherin enemy.

"Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbott," said Ron thickly, taking another bite out of a Chocolate Frog.

"And Anthony Goldstein and Padma Patil for Ravenclaw," Hermione supplied.

Luna was still looking at Ron. "You went to the Yule Ball with Padma Patil," she informed him.

He swallowed his chocolate, then looked at her, looking slightly puzzled and a little surprised. "Yeah, I know I did."

"She didn't enjoy it very much. She doesn't like dancing." Luna thought for a moment. Dancing was not one of her stronger points. "I don't think I'd have minded," she said aloud. "I don't like dancing very much." Truthfully, she wouldn't have minded had he danced the full evening out, but this she didn't say. She continued reading the article on Stubby-Boardman-slash-Sirius-Black, leaving Ron Weasley looking stumped.

"We're supposed to patrol the corridors every so often," he told his friends a few minutes later, after getting no response or help from Ginny for what he was supposed to say in response to Luna, "and we can give punishments if people are misbehaving. I can't wait to get Crabbe and Goyle for something..."

"You're not supposed to abuse your position, Ron!" Hermione said, resuming her usual bossy tones.

"Yeah, right, because Malfoy won't abuse it at all," said Ron sarcastically.

"So you're going to descend to his level?" Luna got the feeling that this was normal behaviour for them: Harry, Ginny, and Neville were completely ignoring them.

"No," Ron continued their little battle nonchalantly, "I'm just going to make sure I get his mates before he gets mine."

"For heaven's sake, Ron –"

"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing." Ron lowered his voice in an imitation of the Slytherin boy's dull grunting one. Luna wished he wouldn't, he had such a nice voice. "I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside...." he said, imitating the action of writing in midair with his hand.

Everyone laughed, but Luna thought it exceptionally funny and clever – she screamed with glee and laughed almost hysterically, dropping The Quibbler and gasping, almost sliding off the seat. "That was funny!" she said, not quite knowing why she thought so in such a prominent way. Ron looked vastly flummoxed, and he looked around at his friends for support, but his friends merely continued laughing at the look on his face.

"Are you taking the mickey?" Ron asked accusingly, frowning at her.

Luna laughed even harder. No, she was not 'taking the mickey', but she could hardly string two words together for laughing so hard. She promptly tried, to see if she was incapable of speaking. "Baboon's...backside!" she said. Apparently, all ability for speech was gone, she thought, holding her ribcage as if afraid it was going to fall out. Everyone was watching her, but she didn't care, it wasn't her fault Ron's joke had been so funny.

Luna was still laughing and staring at Ron when Harry asked if he could read The Quibbler. Luna still could not speak, so she merely nodded feebly. Baboon's backside . . . that had been priceless . . .

Eventually, however, Luna's laughter died off and she took once again to sitting silently in her seat and staring mutely and thoughtfully at the occupants of the room, wondering vaguely if Hermione Granger was Ron Weasley's girlfriend, and if not, whether he would consent to go to Hogsmeade with her, Luna, sometime. . . .

As Harry flipped through the pages of The Quibbler, frowning slightly, Ron looked over with slight interest and asked, "Anything good in there?"

To Luna's great surprise and even greater indignation, it was Hermione who answered first.

"Of course not," she said disapprovingly. "The Quibbler's rubbish, everyone knows that."

"Excuse me," said Luna sharply. "My father's the editor."

Luna was highly pleased when Hermione appeared to look quite embarrassed. "I – oh. Well . . . it's got some interesting . . . I mean, it's quite. . . ."

"I'll have it back, thank you," said Luna, snatching the magazine out of Harry's hands. She found the continuation of the runes article on page fifty-seven, turned it upside-down again, and began reading just as the compartment door opened again. Luna peered around the magazine in a moment of muffled curiosity, then went back to The Quibbler.