Disclaimer: Don't own Final Fantasy 8. It belongs to Squaresoft.
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Chocobo Time
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Setting: Chocobo's Forest
Characters: Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, Zell, Irvine, Seifer, Fujin, Raijin, Ellone, Chocoboy, and Ann
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Ann: Hi there! I'm gonna be your guide here. My job is to help you understand this story if you can't. And no! The author's real name isn't Ann.
Seifer: Shut up! You're just an extra!
Ann: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Let's start the story.
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Irvine: Remind me again why we're here.
Squall: We're here because you asked us to come. I can't believe you forgot.
Rinoa: Yeah! You even kneeled down in front of us and started begging.
Selphie: You were so cute!
Chocoboy: Welcome to Chocobo's Forest. Only I forgot if this is the Intermediate Chocobo's Forest.
Seifer: Who cares!
Chocoboy: The baby chocobos or chicobos will be frightened if you all come in, so…
Squall: I know, I know. We'll talk about that first.
Everyone formed a circle and started talking while the boy waited. After five minutes…
Squall: You go and hide first while I catch us some chocobos.
Irvine and the others nodded and hid themselves.
Ann: You're supposed to go out!
Seifer: Shut up! Damn extra!
Ann: Fine!
Squall: So, what am I supposed to do?
Chocoboy: Simple! Let me explain the rules. You have to …Blah blah…blah blah…
Squall: Snores
Chocoboy: That's all. Pretty simple isn't it?
Squall: wakes up Yeah, whatever.
Chocoboy: Here's your whistle. You have to buy a new one if it's stolen. So be careful.
Squall: Who cares.
Squall uses the ChocoZiner by mistake and a chicobo appeared and stole his whistle.
Squall: Give me back my whistle! Grabs the chicobo by the neck and starts choking it
The whistle fell down to the ground.
Squall: Give it back to me! Continues choking the chicobo
Chocoboy: Stop or you'll kill it!
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, BANG! BANG! Two bullets hit the chicobo at the neck and it died.
Squall: I said give me back my whistle!!! Still choking the dead chicobo
Rinoa and the others came out from their hiding places after seeing what was happening.
Rinoa: Squall! Stop it now! The chicobo's already dead.
Squall: It is? Aaaahhhh! Don't die yet! You haven't returned my whistle! LIVE! LIVE!
Squall banged the chicobo's head on the ground again and again.
Squall: LIVE! LIVE!
Squall opened the chicobo's beak and started to do… you know.
Ann: Sorry! But the characters here are a bit um- different from their normal selves. looks at Squall Eww! Gross!
Quistis: Squall! You didn't kill the chicobo! Irvine killed it.
Irvine: HAHAHAHAHA! Kill the birds! Kill all the birds!
Everyone stared at Irvine.
Irvine: I mean, it was killed by accident.
Squall: So I didn't kill it.
Raijin and Fujin: NO!
Selphie: By the way, here's the whistle, the chicobo must've dropped it.
Squall: Thanks! throws the chicobo away
Chocoboy: Poor chicobo. Oh well, who cares! Let's start all over again. Everyone, please go out except for Squall.
Squall: What do you want to do? You must be gay! Admit it!
Chocoboy: What are you talking about? You're here to catch a chocobo right?
Squall: Oh yeah! I forgot! But you're still a gay!
Chocoboy: If I'm gay, then I should be called Chocogay.
Squall: Makes sense! All right! Go back and hide. Shoo!
Seifer and the others hid themselves again.
This time, Squall did it properly, and three chicobos appeared. But before Squall was able to go near them…
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Chicobo 1: Kweehh! Kweehh! Kweeh!
Translation: Alleluia! No, I mean, farewell my dear fans! falls down and dies
Chicobo 2: KWEEHH! Kweehh! Kweh! Kweeh!
Translation: LONG LIVE THE CHICOBOS! *singing* Oh yeah! All right! I'm gonna die! also dies
Chicobo 3: Kweehhh! Kweeh! KWEEHH! Kweh! Kweehh!
Translation: Mama! I'm going to heaven now! PLEASE DIE SOON! Lalalalalalalalala! Dies
Ann: What weird chicobos! The last one was too disrespectful!
Irvine jumps out from the bushes.
Irvine: Hahahahaha! Die birdies! Die!
Squall stared at the dead chicobos.
Squall: The chicobos are already dead and I'm getting hungry!
Squall took out his match and gathered some firewood. He made a fire and started cooking the three chicobos.
Squall: Yummy! Barbecued chicobos! Come out everyone and have some!
Rinoa, Selphie, Seifer, Irvine, Raijin, Fujin, Quistis, Zell, Ellone, Chocoboy: o_o
Ann: You must be kidding! There are still feathers! Who would wanna eat them?!
Squall: I do!
Squall bit the barbequed chicobo. Then he spitted it out!
Squall: Yuck! This is horrible!
Ann: Told you it wouldn't taste good.
Squall: I need gravy! Does anybody have one?
Everyone shook his or her head.
Squall: Rats!
Squall threw the three chicobos away.
Squall: That's it! I've had it! I'm tired of catching a chocobo! Let's go home.
Chocoboy: No! Wait! I can catch one for you easily! Just pay me 3500 gil.
Squall: No way! I know what you're gonna do. Stand aside. HERE CHOCO, CHOCO! PLEASE COME OUT! PLEASE!
A chocobo came out, and it was a big one too. After it saw four chicobos dead, it went near Squall and ate him up.
Irvine: Damn! No more bullets! Wait! There's a few in my pocket!
Rinoa: No Irvine! Don't!
But it was too late; Irvine shot the chocobo until it was dead.
Rinoa: No! Squall! He's dead! Oh well! Who cares about him anyway? Seifer! I love you! Can we go steady again?
Seifer: Sure! Okay!
Rinoa: Whoo-hoo!
Selphie: Aaahh!
Quistis: What's wrong?
Selphie: L-look!
Squall was standing on top of the dead chocobo with blood all over him!
Everyone: Aaaahhhh! It's a ghost!
Author's Note: My very first attempt in humor and my second fanfic. Please tell me what you think about it. Please check out my FF9 fanfic too if you have the time! Thanks!
