Nearly Headless Nick's Story



Chapter 4



"Look what you've done!" shrieked Leila at the top of her voice as she surveyed the milk slowly spread across the floor.

Sir Nicholas also looked at the milk.

"Er-" he stammered.

"A good hour of milking down the drain! Ms. Mafilda will have my head! This will come straight out of my pay! As though I wasn't underpaid already! Do you realize that this is my job? And do you realize if the evidence that I'm doing my job isn't available I lose that job? Did you ever stop to consider that before frightening me out of my wits?!" she shrieked on.

Sir Nicholas looked uncomfortable.

"Couldn't you just.milk another cow?" he asked tentatively.

Bad move.

"MILK ANOTHER COW? I ASK YOU SIR, DO YOU SEE ANOTHER COW?" she screamed, her voice high-pitched and furious.

Sir Nicholas looked around; he didn't see another cow anywhere.

"No," he said as he prepared himself for what was coming.

"EXACTLY! AND SEEING AS THERE IS NOT ANOTHER COW, IT RATHER PUTS A DAMPER ON YOUR "JUST MILK ANOTHER COW" PLAN NOW DOESN'T IT?" she was hysterical.

"Er-"

"MAYBE SIR YOU WOULD LIKE TO JUT MILK ANOTHER COW! MAYBE THERE REALLY IS A COW! MAYBE I'M JUST TOO STUPID TO SEE IT! AND SIR-"

But she was cut off; he had placed his hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened in horror and anger.

"Why you- you- you-"

"My, my aren't we articulate?"

Sir Nicholas was back in full swing. A cocky smile toying at the corners of his mouth he tried not to burst out laughing as she seemed to turn about 15 colors in about 2 seconds.

She finally decided on a deep blush and bustled away, pouring food into the cow's tray as Sir Nicholas sauntered along behind her.

"I don't believe you're listening," he said slyly, "But of course, this isn't the ideal atmosphere."

Intrigued, Leila turned.

"What?"

"In the moonlight, a man could sing it," he said in an ever so sultry way, "And a fellow would know that his darling had heard every word, with the moonlight, helping along," he sang out "along."

Leila couldn't help it, she was drawn in. Her eyes glazed over as she glided as though on angel's wings toward Sir Nicholas. As he leaned in, she caught herself, and turned quickly.

"But when I try to tell you dear, that I need you badly, I realize it's a long lost cause, I shall never win," he sighed and turned to leave, and though she couldn't see it, he was smiling, waiting for her to-

"WAIT!" he looked so depressed she couldn't help but be drawn in.

"Tell me my dear, how will you know when the right man comes along if you treat men like garbage?" he said smiling smugly.

"Trust me," she looked out the window dreamily, "I'll know."

"How will you know," he persisted.

"I just will, he'll be a real gentleman," she looked at him disdainfully.

"You mean he'll be rich?" he said hoping to provoke her.

It worked.

"Of course not, I've never been so offended in my entire life sir!" she glared at him, "I simply meant that he will know how to treat a lady."

"I know how to treat a lady," he said with a gleam in his eyes she didn't like.

He moved toward her, she was so horrified she couldn't breathe. He leaned in and in one swift movement, he kissed her. At first she was drawn in, it was such a beautiful thing! But then realization set in she pulled away quickly. As she swung to slap him, he quickly sidestepped her and she ended up hitting.

The cow.

Now this was the last straw for the cow, she stamped and snorted and mooed in a way that said quite plainly.

"KILL!!!!!!!!!"

As buckets fell and hay flew, Leila looked up and saw Sir Nicholas walking out the door, cool as you please.

"Who are you?!" she shrieked as a bag of feed fell on her.

"Sir Nicholas," he said as he walked out.

She was just about to scream a whole manner of insulting and profane things, when his head appeared through the door.

"But you can call me Nick."

As he took his leave the screams started.

He sighed.

"This will take some work..."