20th March
I've decided not to do anything about the Michael thing. He wrote the song,
he (and the rest of Skinner Box) released it so he should call me not me
call him. Makes perfect sense.
Urgh Grandmere's mad again. Probably because when I was opening the new
hospital ward earlier I accidentally tripped up one of the nurses and broke
her nose. She was pretty angry at me but managed to hide it. I guess those
are the advantages of being queen of Genovia and all that junk. Grandmere's
saying I'd better invite her to breakfast or she'll set Rene up with me
again.
I'd rather invite Hannibal Lector to breakfast then go out with Rene.

21st March
I'M GOING TO KILL GRANDMERE!!!!!
She sold my old diaries!!!!!
And how do I know? The idiot she sold them to is selling copies of them on
Ebay!!!
MY DEEPEST AND INNERMOST FEELINGS ARE ONLY WORTH $50 ON EBAY!!!!
She told me this morning as I was pondering on how those reporters from The
Genovian Times had known that 'Tall Drink of Water' was about me. Turns out
that there WAS in fact evidence. My diaries.
Grandmere's excuse?
" I was trying to let people know the real you, as it's hard for them to
see it now as you have a complete lack of self confidence. You're Queen of
Genovia now and you hardly let your subjects know you!" she explained
haughtily.
" How easy do you think it is to be a 19 year old queen?!" I retorted,
"What I really want to do is join Greenpeace and help those who are really
in need not rule over some populace of which most people have never even
heard of!"
We spent the majority of an hour yelling at each other until Grandmere went
hoarse and ordered the maid to bring her a Sidecar. I slipped out of the
room then and went to the royal bed chamber and didn't come out until the
cook called saying my veggie burgers were done.
I can't believe Grandmere. I mean, there was so much personal stuff in
those diaries. And now people everywhere are bidding for them for $50.
Grandmere should be glad that death sentences are illegal.

22nd March
Eurgh, Grandmere's planning yet another ball for the 25th. I mean I'm still
recovering from her last one when I accidentally spilled my wine on the
Countess of Salisbury's £5,000 dress. I can kind of see why I wasn't too
popular in school now. I mean I'm a nice person and all but I have a
tendency to be a bit of a klutz.
Michael still hasn't called. Maybe he just released Tall Drink of Water
because it's actually a good song.
I'm skimming over the guest list, no one I haven't met on it so far,
Catherine Zeta- Jones, Michael Douglas, the Duchess of York, Diane von
Fustenberg, the royal family of Sweden and Monaco and...
Oh, my God.
Skinner Box.
I love Grandmere!!!