"But the sea is wide and I can't swim over
And neither have I wings to fly." Carrickfergus, Irish traditional
Rosemary for Remembrance 5: The Sea is Wide September 21-October 7 1421
Rosemary rushed back home under the light of the moon after leaving Frodo that night. As soon as he was out of view, she knew had to hurry. She did not have a coherent thought, except to watch him leave for Valinor. After that, she did not know what she would do. She thought that she could not see that life had anything more to offer.
When she got back to the Whitfurrows smial with it's robin's-egg-blue door, Rosemary gathered only a flask of water, some bread and cheese, and the long dagger her father used to skin coneys with when she was child. She left a note for her mother and quietly went to the paddock outside to get her pony, Star.
Star was so named because of his unusual coloring. His coat was the black of midnight except for a small white patch shaped like a star on his chest. Although Star was still a young pony, Rosemary hated to take him on such a long journey, especially since she didn't know how it would end.
"Star," she whispered to him even though she knew he couldn't understand, "I'm sorry. I wouldn't do this to you unless I really needed to."
In answer, he huffed in her hair with his velvety nose. She took the time to add some apples and a bag of oats to her supplies.
She and Star when slowly and quietly through the dark and sleepy lanes. The sky was beginning to lighten and there was a pink glow in the east. She thought they would have to go through Woody End. She would get there first, hide, and then follow them with stealth. Frodo, as much as she knew he loved her, had not asked her to come and she did not want to detract from his goodbye to Sam.
Once she got past the smials of Hobbiton, Rosemary urged Star from a slow walk to a brisk trot. When they got to Woody End the next day, she hid behind some trees and underbrush and waited. She was glad she decided on this reckless course. She would never have seen elves otherwise. They were so beautiful. The one with the dark hair, kind gray eyes, and a bright ring on his finger had to be Elrond. She recognized him from Frodo's description and, for a minute, the elf-lord's gaze seemed to fall in her direction and pierce through her cover before the wizard Gandalf whispered something in his ear and both the wizard and the elf turned their attention back to Frodo. She saw the respect Elrond, the tall elf-queen Galadriel and the others gave her love and she was glad.
By the time they got to the Gray Havens, her supply of bread and cheese was almost gone. She did not care. She left Star, an intelligent and obedient pony, in the woods by a little stream and slipped behind a boulder some distance from the ship and watched as Sam, Merry, and Pippin hugged Frodo and said goodbye. She closed her eyes in pain and wished she could be there.
When the ship pulled away from the shore, she almost risked exposure by running toward it but was able to restrain herself. Then it was as if an immense weight pressed her into the wet sand. She lay down on the sand and did not cry but she felt as though she could not move and it was a struggle to breathe. She stayed that way as the ship disappeared into the West and was still lying prone behind the boulder when the Sun followed the ship and lit the western edge of the sea with the colors of flame.
She might have stayed there forever if She hadn't felt a soft nose and a huff in her ear. Star had finally followed her onto the beach. Sam, Merry, and Pippin long ago started their return journey and the Sun was almost gone. Still dry-eyed, she hoisted herself onto Star and lay limply on his back as he picked his way off the beach and onto the road leading home.
Rosemary lost track of the days. The last of her bread and cheese remained untouched. She did not even register the familiarity of the terrain when, weak from hunger and sleeplessness, she finally fell off the pony in a faint. She gathered her strength and got both herself and Star off the road.
She took her father's knife out of her pack and knelt in a grove of alders with silver-green leaves. She laid the knife on her lap and looked at it for a while before taking it in her hand.
She was about to draw the blade against the inside of her left arm when her right hand, which was holding the knife, was roughly grabbed. The knife clattered to the ground. She looked up and it barely penetrated the fog in her brain that it was Sam who grabbed her and his normally calm brown eyes were raging with a mix of compassion and anger.
He almost shouted at her, "Rosemary! What do you think you are doing lass?"
She looked at him dumbly and could barely croak out, "I don't know."
He shook his head, lowered his voice and said, "You mother is frantic. Rose and I have been worried about you as well. When I got back yesterday, Autumn showed me your note and begged me to keep watch for you."
She gathered her strength to utter, "I miss him."
Sam gathered her in his arms and said, "I do too, Rosemary."
The tears finally came and they sobbed in each other's arms for a very long time before Sam carried her to Bag End for Rose's mushroom stew.
******************************************
Epilogue: Iris for Hope September 22, 1425
A light-haired, green-eyed hobbit-woman watched a small hobbit-lass with dark hair run along the beach. The little girl ran up to her mother and looked at her with eyes the blue-green of the sea under a summer sky.
She asked, "Can I give Da his birthday gift?"
Rosemary smiled and said, "Yes, Iris dear."
She handed the little girl a single white rose. Iris set it in the water and they watched it float out to sea together.
And neither have I wings to fly." Carrickfergus, Irish traditional
Rosemary for Remembrance 5: The Sea is Wide September 21-October 7 1421
Rosemary rushed back home under the light of the moon after leaving Frodo that night. As soon as he was out of view, she knew had to hurry. She did not have a coherent thought, except to watch him leave for Valinor. After that, she did not know what she would do. She thought that she could not see that life had anything more to offer.
When she got back to the Whitfurrows smial with it's robin's-egg-blue door, Rosemary gathered only a flask of water, some bread and cheese, and the long dagger her father used to skin coneys with when she was child. She left a note for her mother and quietly went to the paddock outside to get her pony, Star.
Star was so named because of his unusual coloring. His coat was the black of midnight except for a small white patch shaped like a star on his chest. Although Star was still a young pony, Rosemary hated to take him on such a long journey, especially since she didn't know how it would end.
"Star," she whispered to him even though she knew he couldn't understand, "I'm sorry. I wouldn't do this to you unless I really needed to."
In answer, he huffed in her hair with his velvety nose. She took the time to add some apples and a bag of oats to her supplies.
She and Star when slowly and quietly through the dark and sleepy lanes. The sky was beginning to lighten and there was a pink glow in the east. She thought they would have to go through Woody End. She would get there first, hide, and then follow them with stealth. Frodo, as much as she knew he loved her, had not asked her to come and she did not want to detract from his goodbye to Sam.
Once she got past the smials of Hobbiton, Rosemary urged Star from a slow walk to a brisk trot. When they got to Woody End the next day, she hid behind some trees and underbrush and waited. She was glad she decided on this reckless course. She would never have seen elves otherwise. They were so beautiful. The one with the dark hair, kind gray eyes, and a bright ring on his finger had to be Elrond. She recognized him from Frodo's description and, for a minute, the elf-lord's gaze seemed to fall in her direction and pierce through her cover before the wizard Gandalf whispered something in his ear and both the wizard and the elf turned their attention back to Frodo. She saw the respect Elrond, the tall elf-queen Galadriel and the others gave her love and she was glad.
By the time they got to the Gray Havens, her supply of bread and cheese was almost gone. She did not care. She left Star, an intelligent and obedient pony, in the woods by a little stream and slipped behind a boulder some distance from the ship and watched as Sam, Merry, and Pippin hugged Frodo and said goodbye. She closed her eyes in pain and wished she could be there.
When the ship pulled away from the shore, she almost risked exposure by running toward it but was able to restrain herself. Then it was as if an immense weight pressed her into the wet sand. She lay down on the sand and did not cry but she felt as though she could not move and it was a struggle to breathe. She stayed that way as the ship disappeared into the West and was still lying prone behind the boulder when the Sun followed the ship and lit the western edge of the sea with the colors of flame.
She might have stayed there forever if She hadn't felt a soft nose and a huff in her ear. Star had finally followed her onto the beach. Sam, Merry, and Pippin long ago started their return journey and the Sun was almost gone. Still dry-eyed, she hoisted herself onto Star and lay limply on his back as he picked his way off the beach and onto the road leading home.
Rosemary lost track of the days. The last of her bread and cheese remained untouched. She did not even register the familiarity of the terrain when, weak from hunger and sleeplessness, she finally fell off the pony in a faint. She gathered her strength and got both herself and Star off the road.
She took her father's knife out of her pack and knelt in a grove of alders with silver-green leaves. She laid the knife on her lap and looked at it for a while before taking it in her hand.
She was about to draw the blade against the inside of her left arm when her right hand, which was holding the knife, was roughly grabbed. The knife clattered to the ground. She looked up and it barely penetrated the fog in her brain that it was Sam who grabbed her and his normally calm brown eyes were raging with a mix of compassion and anger.
He almost shouted at her, "Rosemary! What do you think you are doing lass?"
She looked at him dumbly and could barely croak out, "I don't know."
He shook his head, lowered his voice and said, "You mother is frantic. Rose and I have been worried about you as well. When I got back yesterday, Autumn showed me your note and begged me to keep watch for you."
She gathered her strength to utter, "I miss him."
Sam gathered her in his arms and said, "I do too, Rosemary."
The tears finally came and they sobbed in each other's arms for a very long time before Sam carried her to Bag End for Rose's mushroom stew.
******************************************
Epilogue: Iris for Hope September 22, 1425
A light-haired, green-eyed hobbit-woman watched a small hobbit-lass with dark hair run along the beach. The little girl ran up to her mother and looked at her with eyes the blue-green of the sea under a summer sky.
She asked, "Can I give Da his birthday gift?"
Rosemary smiled and said, "Yes, Iris dear."
She handed the little girl a single white rose. Iris set it in the water and they watched it float out to sea together.
