The Angel's Knight #14 - Yet More Pieces

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Los Angeles, October 14, 2017

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A friend once told me that he loves me, but he'll never understand how my brain works. I guess it was an underhanded compliment or something; I'm still not sure. At the time I was launching into an explanation about neurological processes and lost him within the first few seconds. I was a bit less than socially apt at the time.

I like to think I've gotten a bit better at it. Living in a cave for five years, on the run from demons that considered me something just below cattle, can seriously screw you up, let me tell you that, especially if you're the kind of girl who barely ever left the library before being banished to an alternate dimension by accident.

When I got back I spent about half a year in a different kind of cave, hiding in a room right here in the Hyperion, every bit as scared as before. I was back home; back on Earth, but for a long time I didn't really believe it. It didn't help that the handsome stranger who rescued me in the first place took off right after he brought me here; spending several months in a retreat to mourn for the woman he loved. No, I don't blame Angel for that. If there is anyone to blame it's circumstances and it's really hard to blame something that insubstantial.

Anyway, things have changed since then. For a time I considered going back home, going back to the life I had before I ended up in that cave in an alternate dimension. It would never have worked, though. I had changed too much. I also refused to abandon the people who had saved me. When Angel came back from his retreat he started expanding his fight against evil in a big way and needed every single helping hand he could get. So I stayed. I haven't regretted it yet.

I had to learn a whole new set of rules, though. Rules are a good thing in my opinion. They let you know how things work, what's possible and what's not. That's one of the reasons I seldom left the library even before the whole Phylea thing. I can get the rules of physics and nature. I understand how things work at the molecular level, the atomic level, even the quantum level. I understand what happens when you split an atom or tweak a super string.

It's people I always had trouble understanding. Put two atoms together and they always behave in the same way. Put two people together ... well, you can never be sure what happens.

For a time I thought that demons and magic were like people, far beyond my understanding. Things got better, though. The supernatural has rules as well. Most of the time they don't really make a lot of sense, but once you simply accept a few things as given, even though you can't explain them, you kinda get by.

The closest I ever got to explaining the whole supernatural thing without violating every law of nature was quantum physics. Manipulation of probabilities, things changing according to the expectations of the observer.

For example: I don't really believe in God, but it's fact that a cross repels and burns a vampire. My theory is that it happens not because of some sort of divine grace, but because of the power of faith (not Faith with a capital 'F', though she's pretty powerful as well). A lot of people believe in God, a lot of psychic energy is focused into the symbol of the cross. Enough psychic energy to repel and burn a demon.

If you go along similar lines of thought you can also come to a working theory on the mechanics of magic. It's mostly manipulation of probabilities. Summoning lighting, for example, as I saw Tara do once (and boy was that impressive). Theoretically lightning can strike anywhere, at any time, even from clear skies. If one simply finds a way of changing the odds, changing one in a million into one in one, then you have magic. And a lighting bolt.

The point is, there is always an explanation. Everything can be figured out.

Or so I thought until I started burying myself in the non-stop visions Cordelia has been getting these past few weeks. Her visions are another thing I have tried to find an explanation for, without much luck so far. I think she is somehow connected to a quantum field, something that exists beyond the linear dimension of time, allowing her glimpses into the future. Okay, it doesn't explain why she always sees things connected to the latest evil or so, but it's a start.

What I do know is that the visions have been getting worse and worse over the years. They have taken her eyesight from her, made it so she has trouble distinguishing her own memories from the sensations implanted into her mind via the visions. I know she has had some opportunities to give them up but hasn't taken them. I wonder whether she is regretting that now.

Anyway, the point is that Cordelia has received a lot of information lately, something we are sure is going to assemble into a larger picture. I know Angel is on his way back from New England where he talked to that coven to help him make sense of the more esoterical things Cordelia has seen. Twice across the continent within 24 hours. Good thing vampires don't really need much in the way of sleep. Me, I'm trying to work out some of the math. Figuratively speaking, of course. Math does not help solve this problem.

The thing I've been concentrating on the most among that mass of raw data is the Hellmouth. Ever since I first learned of it I was fascinated. I mean, who wouldn't be? A mystical convergence that attracts all kinds of supernatural evil and doubles as a doorway to some kind of alternate dimension? Okay, so that alternate dimension thing really gives me the creeps. I'm not a fan of alternate dimensions. I want to know how it is possible that creatures from all over the world are attracted by it. What kind of energy does it pour out? How does it all work?

I go through the data chronologically. The Spanish settlers who originally founded Sunnydale apparently knew something. Why else would they have named their settlement Bocca del Inferno? Then, around the turn of the 20th century, Mayor Richard Wilkins took over and pretty much transformed the town into his very own ritual ground, setting in motion a hundred year plan to ascend into a pure demon.

In the 1930s a vampire called Heinrich Nest, more commonly known as the Master, tried to open the Hellmouth. Until that point no information indicated that the Hellmouth was in any way a dimensional portal, just a nexus of energy. He almost succeeded, but then found himself trapped somehow, imprisoned by the very energies he had come to unleash.

When he was about to get free there were all sorts of apocalyptic signs. Water turning into blood, earthquakes, pretty much the entire range of things mentioned in the Bible. Then he freed himself and the Hellmouth opened, unleashing some kind of demonic creature. His death closed it again.

A year after that Angel, or rather his evil alter ego, tried to awaken a demon called Akathler, who could apparently open a vortex to a Hell dimension simply by breathing in. This demon was - coincidentally? - found buried right there in Sunnydale, close to the Hellmouth. The vortex was open briefly, just long enough to swallow up Angel, then closed once more.

Again a year later the Hellmouth was briefly opened by some kind of apocalyptic demon cult. And again a year later a group of demons undertook an even less successful attempt at the same.

Glory, a supposed god, tried to open a portal to an alternate dimension (again with the alternate dimensions) almost right on top of the Hellmouth. Coincidence? Somehow I don't think so.

Finally we know that Willow Rosenburg, a powerful witch, tried to channel the Hellmouth energies for some purpose. The others think it was to try and resurrect Buffy Summers, the Slayer, who died stopping Glory. Whatever she tried to do it apparently went wrong in a big way, leaving Sunnydale a disaster area clouded in a perpetual dust storm and the Hellmouth's energy output greatly reduced.

So much for the facts. According to them the Hellmouth is ... what? A nexus of some sort for energies of unknown composition? A doorway to an alternate dimension? A prison for giant demonic entities the Master wanted to free? A focus for a ritual that would transform a human into a greater demon? Something that makes it easier to open yet more dimensional portals?

It seems to be all these things at once and yet that does not make any sense, does it? Why would Spanish settlers build a town on a portal to Hell? Why would people bury demons that can open dimensional portals right next to another dimensional portal? Too many inconsistencies do not a rule make. Okay, I came up with that saying myself, but it's still correct.

I scan through the logs of Cordelia's visions. In one of them she saw someone who we are rather sure was the Master, Heinrich Nest. She saw him in 1997 when he managed to break free from his prison and opened the Hellmouth. Cordelia was there when it happened, was almost eaten by the creature that crawled out of the ground, yet her vision showed her something different than what she remembered. She saw Master Nest gleefully staring into a bottomless pit of raw energy, a vast pillar of pure power that was unleashed that day, only to fade into nothingness when Nest died.

She also saw Angel and Akathler, saw him tumble into the vortex unleashed by the demon with a sword right through his chest. There mere thought of that makes me wince. I've seen Angel mortally wounded more than once and it barely slowed him down, but still ... anyway, according to all we know Angel ended up in a Hell dimension where he was tortured for centuries. Only that is not what Cordy saw. She saw Angel tumbling into that very same bottomless pit of energy Nest had seen, no demons or torture devices to be found.

It goes on like that. Cordelia saw a man she says was Mayor Richard Wilkins, standing on the edge of that same pit, preparing for his Ascension. She saw the group of demons that tried to open the Hellmouth tapping deeply into that pillar of fire.

I need a theory. Everything starts with a theory. Something that encompasses all available facts. Once that's done you start looking for the flaws in the theory, do everything possible to try and prove it wrong. If you can't, then there's a good chance you've got something workable.

The Mayor, the Master, Angelus, those apocalypse demons. Different agendas, yet somehow Cordelia sees them all doing the same thing. Accessing some kind of energy. Not a portal, just energy. How does that go together with the things that actually happened? Big demons crawling out of the Hellmouth, Angel being tortured in Hell, the Mayor transforming into a demon?

Maybe it all goes back to my theory on magic. Magic deals in probabilities, changing the odds until improbable things become fact. Heisenberg said that simple observation of events changes these events according to the observer's expectations. Could it be that...?

Okay, so I'm a big, bad vampire and I'm going to this nexus of energy. What do I expect to find? What do I want to find? Demons? Monsters? Hell on Earth? Judging by the vampires I've met these last sixteen years, Angel excluded, it's probably something like that.

I don't know enough about Mayor Richard Wilkins, but seeing as he had a plan to become a demon himself he probably wasn't interested in finding a portal leading to yet more demons. What's the point in becoming a greater demon when the world is full of them? So he probably wasn't looking for a portal, just a source of power for his ascension.

By all accounts Angelus was looking to destroy the whole world, punishing it for making him feel human emotions. So by sheer chance he finds a demon buried close to the Hellmouth that gives him the opportunity to do exactly that. A demon that can swallow the world and banish all its inhabitants into a Hell dimension.

Angel falls into that very same dimension. He expected to end up in Hell and so he did. But what if there was no such dimension? Cordelia saw nothing but energy. The same energy that gave Nest the 'Old Ones' he expected to find. The same energy that enabled Mayor Wilkins to ascend into a greater demon.

Yes, that could make sense. The Hellmouth is not a portal, but a source of energy. Energy that, in some way I don't understand yet, shapes itself according to the expectations of those who encounter it. Cordelia saw all these encounters and there were probably a lot more. Maybe those Spanish settlers were simply a bit too religious for their own good, so afraid of the devil and damnation that the Hellmouth showed them all they were afraid of and that's what caused them to call their town Bocca del Inferno.

Okay, so if that's the case then we can assume...

"Fred?"

I look up, surprised to see that it's dark outside. I originally intended to go to bed early today. Sitting with Cordelia all morning, dealing with the surprise of having a new Slayer pop out of nowhere, and brainstorming about the Hellmouth all afternoon... I could use some tacos now. A lot of them.

Gunn is leaning in the doorway, looking tired and edgy. I guess spending the better part of the day with your ex does that to you. I like Faith most of the time, but that thing between her and Gunn... best not to get into that. For a short time I found myself attracted to Gunn as well, but it's probably better that it didn't work out that way. He's a good friend and nothing ruins friendship like a romance gone bad.

"What is it?" I ask him, rubbing my tired eyes. I think I need new glasses. Or maybe just ten hours of uninterrupted sleep.

"I'm heading back out to the shelter. Just wanted to let you know that Cordelia asked for you. Looks like she got some new headbangers that fall into your territory. She also says she wants to meet Diana."

I sigh.

"This probably isn't a good idea, don't you think? This girl has had enough shocks heaped on her for one day even without... well..."

"...meeting the naked masked visionary chick that knew she was coming before she herself did? Yeah, I hear you."

"I'll head up to her in a minute. Say hello to Anne for me, will you?"

"Will do. Oh, before I forget. Big meeting tomorrow once the bossman gets back. English and Tara plan to stay up all night and research this second Slayer thing. Hopefully they can tell us something tomorrow."

I nod, thankful that someone has already volunteered for the all-night research session. I don't think I have it in me right now.

"Get some sleep, Fred," Gunn says. "No offense, but you look like you need it."

"I'll try. Good night, Gunn."

He leaves and I try to focus on the papers in front of me again. Where was I? Something about the Hellmouth. Energy that adapts itself to expectations. Okay, if that's the case we can further assume...

TO BE CONTINUED