Chapter Eighteen – The First Argument

Focus. Don't cry. Pull yourself together.

Amy kept repeating those three sentences in her head, trying everything not to cry. She was sitting on one of the flights of stairs in school, elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

I'm supposed to be happy for him, she thought. I'm supposed to paint on a smile, love Colin, and be happy for him.

She looked back on her reaction when he had first told her. She cursed herself for being so harsh. She hasn't spoken to him since, and everyday she didn't talk to him, she died a little more. It was a twisted pain that just kept on twisting, never stopping. She looked back at snapping at Ryan. She felt guilty. The girl had been nothing but nice to her and all she could do was treat her badly, because she was taking Ephram away. And she looked back on her silence in the car and her retreat that probably made her out to look crazy to everyone else in the car. I'm supposed to be happy, she reminded herself.

A tear fell from her eye. "Then why the hell is it not working?" she asked herself out aloud.

"What's not working?"

Amy raised her head and her eyes found Colin's. His eyes filled with love, worry, concern. Normally, this would have comforted herself. These were the eyes that used to make everything okay, used to make her melt. How come I'm as solid as a rock now?

"Colin! How did you find me?"

He shrugged and smiled. "I followed my heart."

Amy got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Wait, this is my boyfriend, aren't I supposed to be happy with that comment? I feel like I'm going to puke.

Colin sat down next to her and added. "Plus, this school isn't that big, so you had to be somewhere in here, I saw you walk inside." He took one of her hands and held it in-between his own. "What's wrong, Grover?"

What's wrong? What's wrong?!? What's wrong is that I think I'm realizing I made the wrong decision. Amy sighed. "It's nothing," she managed to squeak.

"It's obviously something, Ame, you act okay even when you're not, so this has to be something serious."

Amy pulled her hand away from Colin's. "I don't want to talk about it."

Colin felt hurt and angered by her withdrawal. "Amy, come on, you know you can tell me."

Amy stood up. "I told you, I don't want to talk about it!"

Colin stood up beside her, and tried to take her into his arms. He didn't want to have what would be this inevitable fight. "Okay, okay. I give up. Let's go find Bright, Ryan, and Ephram."

Amy shook her head and wiggled out of his embrace. "No! Don't you get it? I want to be alone." She looked him into his eyes for a few moments, until she couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes that she was causing. She diverted her gaze, past him, but only to see Ephram, not to far away, walking towards them.

She looked back at Colin, back at Ephram, back to Colin, and back to Ephram. She just shook her head and walked over in the direction Ephram was coming. She wasn't planning on stopping, but to ignore him and keep walking, until she felt his hand grab her elbow.

"Amy, you okay?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

She looked at him and felt angry. "I'm fine. Why don't you go find your girlfriend? I'm surprised you left her side anyway" she said, bitterly.

"Amy.." Ephram began.

"Forget it," she said, as she walked away.

A few moments of silence passed. Ephram felt a presence beside him.

"Any luck?"

Ephram shook his head. "No."

And Colin and Ephram stood in silence, confused, both staring in the direction Amy had walked away, until the first bell rang.