Title: Harry Potter and a Slytherin Love
Author: Yih
Author's Note: This is a SLASH HP/SS story with a very good friendship story for HP/DM. That's your warning, if you don't like slash then go read my other stories! I happen to be a very open minded individual and can see the beauty of both types of relationships. Isn't that fun?! I think it is ^_^;;. R+R for more! Reviewer thanks below!
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling ^-~ I wished I owned something, but I don't more the pity.
Website: foolish.home.att.net
4: Living Dead (May 25, 2003 to May 28, 2003)
(Not quite 3 years ago)
He knew there was only one person that dared to step foot in his private chambers, one person that was foolhardy enough to risk being in his presence and entirely imprudent to trust the sake of the Order to a Death Eater--- Albus Dumbledore. He also knew why the foolish Headmaster was here, of course, it had to about Harry Potter. And he was not mistaken when Albus immediately launched into the reason why he'd intruded into Severus's privacy, "You can't keep avoiding him forever, Severus."
As much as he wanted to avoid Albus, he knew he wasn't the type to back away from anything, so he lifted his head and glared at the Headmaster. For a moment, he felt like a child again but that only lasted momentarily when he saw the customary twinkle in Albus's eyes was missing. The problem was that he couldn't face Harry, not when he felt tremendous guilt. Thus, he simply did not give not a response. Let Albus think what he would.
"They say the words of a lover comforts those in a coma," Albus reflected aloud. "Harry knew what he was doing, Severus. If the killing curse had hit you, you would have died. For some miraculous reason, Harry is able to survive it. When he wakes up, do you think he'll be happy to know that you never once visited his bedside?"
Damn him, Severus cursed. Harry didn't deserve someone like him for a lover, he deserved so much more. There was this intense fear inside of him that Harry wouldn't wake up again, and if he did? His fingers curled up into a ball, digging half crescents into the palm of his hand. If Harry did wake up, he'd truly know how bloody ungrateful the world was.
Where Was the Boy Who Lived when You Know Who was defeated?
Post Fall of Voldemort. by Rita Skeeter.
No where to be found. Rumor has it that the boy wonder, the
golden Gryffindor had fled to an undisclosed location. Was it
to escape the rumors of his descent in the darkness of You Know
Who? After all, his supposed arch enemy was vanquished by the
great Dumbledore. What is even more curious is that Draco
Malfoy, son of condemned Death Eater Lucius Malfoy and Severus
Snape have also conveniently been unavailable for questioning
for the public.
It is right for everyone to be suspicious and even more so when
Malfoy and Snape aren't in the custody of the Ministry of Magic
as everyone assumes. From reliable sources inside, word has it
that Malfoy and Snape were never apprehended and remain at
large. Is it safe to say that they are the conspirators that
may very well be the Secret Keepers of Harry Potter's mysterious
whereabouts?
It only makes more sense since Harry Potter has become very
close to the former Death Eater and the Malfoy heir. At first,
it could have been a clever and covert operation of Dumbledore
to make Harry Potter seem more like an ally to the Dark Lord
than a threat, but then where was Harry when He Who Must Not Be
Named was vanquished? It seems that the Boy Who Lived may very
well be the next Dark Lord in training!
They had absolutely no right to accuse Harry like they were doing! Severus's hands shook with his anger and indignation. If it wasn't for Harry making him swear to keep his part in the Order a secret, he would have gladly marched up to that damn Skeeter woman and given his testimony that the Boy Who Lived had lived up to all the ballyhooed expectations that everyone had for him! More than lived up to them, even to the point of outliving the killing curse for a second time.
More of Severus didn't understand why Harry didn't want the public to know of his involvement in helping the Order, why Harry had allowed everyone to think that rumors that he was the Heir of Slytherin that had surfaced in his second year to run rampant around the school in his last year. Though he did have to admit that it had made Voldemort back off attacking and trying to murder Harry.
Of course, that inclination hadn't lasted long when Voldemort had somehow caught onto their deception of luring Harry Potter to the dark side so that Harry could get to him. It had only been by pure good luck that Voldemort had believed that Harry Potter had enough Slytherin in him to deceive two Slytherins. What helped Severus's and Draco's case was that Voldemort himself had been misled.
And... "I know what you're thinking of," Albus stated evenly. "It is too bad that Voldemort didn't fully fall for that plan, but at least we no longer have the presence of Voldemort to worry about anymore. With Harry's sacrifice, Voldemort is permanently gone. Unfortunately, all our planning to make that particularly plan work convinced many that Harry was seeking to join the Dark Lord.
"And I see that you've been reading Rita Skeeter's handiwork," he continued, gesturing to the Daily Prophet that rested on the table in the center of the room. "As much as I would like the truth to come out, Harry bound me never to tell the world of what greatness he has done. He doesn't want to be a hero, he only wants to live a normal life." He paused dramatically to let the words sink in. "That is where you come in, Severus. At Snape Manor, he could live normally and peacefully behind those wards until the world has forgotten about the Boy Who Lived."
Severus's eyes widened with disbelief at Albus's optimistic outlook. For Merlin's sake, Harry was in a coma indefinitely for all that they knew! And from what he'd gathered from Draco, was that it'd taken a week before Poppy had been able to erase all the scars that riddled Harry's back. As if that guilt wasn't bad enough, Draco had also informed him that Poppy said that Harry's condition seemed instable at best.
What did Albus expect? For Harry to wake up tomorrow? "I see the look of skepticism on your face," Albus commented. "Come now, Severus, don't you trust me? Poppy is a good mediwitch, but she's hardly the best that there is. It has taken time, but I have managed to coerce one of my most trusted colleagues into giving us a week of his time to heal Harry. If he cannot, then I doubt anyone can. Now before he arrives, I want a promise from you that you will look after Harry and do what is best for him."
"You know?" Severus managed to ask hoarsely in a choked voice.
Albus raised an eyebrow that seemed to say, 'Did you think I didn't know?' "Develbee will be here by portkey in a few minutes, do I have your promise?"
Why did Albus even need it? He already knew that Severus loved the boy, Severus could tell because the twinkle had returned to those gleaming blue eyes. Damn Dumbledore! Drat the man for knowing everything that happened within the walls of Hogwarts! "Yes," he snarled, but it came out halfhearted at best. "I promise."
"I intend to hold you to it, Severus."
~ (present) *refer to the end of chapter 2, continues off there.
Usually Severus was the one in control, but this time Harry held the cards as he pulled away from him before he lost himself in the whirlwind of Severus's blatant sexual overtones. Overtones that he wanted to take full advantage of at a later date. But right now they needed to talk. It was their physical attraction to each other that had gotten in the way last time.
Too busy shagging each other senseless, that they forgot that both of them needed a relationship that was more than about hopping into the sack. They both needed a meaningful connection that was to a mental level, not merely only physical especially after all the torment that they'd suffer. But Severus had been too glad to find that Harry hadn't blamed him for anything and had reveled in the renewed physical contact. He had been too happy to find that Harry wasn't disgusted at his touch after the physical torment he'd caused him to suffer through.
"I understand," Harry remarked softly, "why you pushed me away before. At the time, it was the best thing you could have done for me. I don't think you did it for the reasons that I think that I needed to be away from you. You did it to protect me from public scorn, I appreciate it that, and because you were afraid of how much you feel for me when you came so close to losing me.
"You were scared that I'd hate you for the pain that Voldemort forced you to afflict on me. But I would have thought that the months after the incident would have erased that from your thought. Then again, it was foolish for both of us to fall back into the old pattern without discussing the horrible incident that happened in between. That was our great mistake.
"I put the blame on me more than you. I didn't recognize that I'd begun to withdraw away from you and yet cling to you like a child. I needed to stand on my own two feet instead of expecting you to take care of me. And take care of me you did when you forced me to leave to guard me against the public slander." The smile on his face was bittersweet. "I've grown up in the last two years and I don't need you to protect me anymore, but I still love you as much as I did then. Will you give me another chance, Severus?"
Severus was shaking, trembling as Harry had stated everything into perfectly sensible words why they had broken apart when they should have been bound closer. But could he give Harry the answer that would make both of them happy, overjoyed beyond all joy? The fact was that if the wizarding world knew of their relationship, the nasty rumors about Harry would just start all over again. And he was damned if he'd put Harry through that torment again!
"I know what you're thinking about," Harry commented nonchalantly. "It doesn't matter to me what the Daily Prophet says. You, Albus, and Draco know that I'm not the next Dark Lord looming and that's what matters to me. Nothing else does. Besides," he remarked cheekily, "I know you're dying to shag me, Sev."
"You bloody prat!" Severus exclaimed with exaggerated outrage when he saw Harry's brilliant emerald eyes undress him with his studious gaze until they settled on his crotch which left no doubt that of his arousal. If he thought he was going to get a verbal response from Harry, he was sorely mistaken when all Harry did was nibble on his lower lip in that delectable habit that only made him look more seducible. "We can't," he cried out hoarsely. "If they know..."
"Who said anyone has to know?" Harry whispered back fervently as he ran his hands up and down Severus's back. "You are the abso-bloody-lutely fantastic actor, Severus, the best there was to survive Voldemort. And you have to admit, all those nasty words we flung back at each other when I first started working for the Order was our special brand of flirty, was it not? I'm sure we could easily fall back into that routine, when have we ever made it obvious of our relationship?
"I'm sure no one suspects, if anything they probably think that me and Draco are having a relationship." There was something that flared up briefly in Severus's eyes that Harry was surprised to recognize as jealousy. "But we aren't. Draco and I are great friends, best mates. For some reason, with the exception of Albus who always seems to know everything, no one knows about our relationship. And I know you want to think that our prior relations were a fling, something casual and used to get what we needed in a time when we didn't know what to expect the next day... but that was more than that.
"I gave you everything I had, Sev. And I like to think that you gave me all that you had. At the worst, what do we have to lose if we try again? I know I'm the one that's going to be hurt more," he murmured softly. "I don't care because Draco's right. What did we fight for if not love and happiness? I do love you, Sev, and I want to be happy with you."
Those words pounded into Severus hard. He had never heard Harry say that he loved him outside of the bedroom when he'd been pumping Harry into a tumultuous climax. No, when Harry had cried out those words it'd been because of passion and the moment, not because he really meant them. But as much as he wanted to deny the words now, he couldn't. The emotion behind them now had to be real love. Harry loved him. He loved Severus Snape.
"You sexy bastard, did you hear me?" Harry muttered in a low voice. "I love you."
"Yes," Severus croaked out, "I heard you." A long period of silence followed that, the lack of noise was more penetrating and distracting than any sound that might have disturbed the moment. Thoughts were whirling around with excessive speed, pros and cons--- positives and negatives. What to do? What to do! "Yes," he managed to give an answer. "Yes."
The grin that stretched Harry's face made the regret and bitterness that had built up inside of Severus for the past two years dissipate entirely. "You know," Harry began in a slightly teasing tone, "while there's nothing I'd rather do than shag you until you collapse from exhaustion, I don't think I'm up to it after portkeying several thousand miles. Do you mind if I just hold you tonight... in your bed?"
"No, I don't mind."
~
(not quite 3 years ago)
"He's asking for you," Dumbledore informed him gently. It'd been like this for the past week. Harry had awoken after being in a coma for almost two months and had been asking every time he was coherent enough to think for Severus. But no matter how hard Dumbledore tried to urge Severus to go see Harry, the Potions Master stubbornly refused to go.
At first, Dumbledore had feared that it was because Severus blamed himself and didn't want to face Harry since it'd remind him of all his guilt. But he knew it wasn't that that had kept Severus from goign to Harry for the past week. No, it was something more than that. The Headmaster knew that the articles that Rita Skeeter had published during the duration of Harry Potter's subsequent disappearance had ignited a rage in the usually calm and detached man that he'd never seen before. Severus cared deeply for Harry, but he wasn't willing to admit it.
And even if it was, that was not even half the problem. The real problem was that Severus was convincing himself that Harry and him weren't right together, even though, from all that Dumbledore had witnessed with his keen eyes, that those two had never been as happy as when they had been together. Yet, it would take time to persuade Severus of that and what was more important was that Harry see his lover as soon as possible.
"You can't keep avoiding him," he stated bluntly. "You are hurting him, Severus, deliberately. I never thought that you would cause him pain like that. Hasn't he been through enough already?" Yes, these tactics were low blows, but if it made Severus go see Harry then so be it. "He's wearing himself out waiting for you to come see him, you know."
Severus let out a harsh breathe when he let the words touch his heart. He felt horrible hurting Harry, but didn't everyone see that it was for the best? Harry was a bloody golden boy, the Gryffindor hero for Merlin's sake! If he went to Harry now when Harry was weak and sick and needy, the boy would lean on him even more and those stupid articles that had started to ebbed away would start all over again!
Even if no one knew that Harry's integral part in bringing down Lord Voldemort, he was still the Boy Who Lived to the wizarding world! He was the only one that had managed to bring the Dark Lord down in his first reign of terror and no one could take that away from him. And unbeknownst to the rest of the wizarding world, if not for Harry's foolhardy plan--- Voldemort would not have been defeated by Albus Dumbledore.
"Severus..."
"I will see him," Severus replied sharply but not without giving Albus one of his glares of death, which of course failed to ruffle the great wizard. Not even Harry was as immune to his glares as Albus was, it annoyed him to no end that no matter what he did all the Headmaster ever did was give him a lighthearted patronizing look. At least Harry pretended to flinch when he knew that Severus wanted a reaction. That reminded him, he'd agreed to see Harry. Drat, what had he gotten himself into?
Why only what you want to get into, his inner voice drawled with infinite amusement. You know that you are dying to see Harry, all you've thought about is Harry, Harry, Harry for the past weeks. It's been Harry nonstop. Just go and see the boy!
Arguing with his inner voice, he found from much experience was useless. One would think as an inner voice, he would have control of it enough to suppress it, but quite contraire he had no control whatsoever. So he marched steadily down the halls to where Harry was staying in Madame Pomfrey's care. When he entered into the hospital ward, he immediately felt two brilliant emerald eyes fasten onto his form. "Albus said that you wanted to see me?"
"I missed you," Harry croaked in a bare whisper. "I missed you so much, Sev."
~
Author's Note: Wow people like my Mirror story O-o and I suck at keeping two fics going at the same time. Actually this is probably a good break period for this story ^-~. I'll be back or maybe not, but since I wrote it I'm going to release it! Besides, it hints that present Sev and Harry might get together!
~
Melfwain: Muahahahah. Thanks. It was a good gruesome chapter. It was definitely good practice for "Mirror of Paradox"!
Kateri: You're exactly right. But it does provide somewhat of details of the past and why Sev's so hesitant and scared witless.
Sela: Harry's fine (as you've already read) Chapter 3 was a flashback to how they defeated Lord Voldemort.
Minerva-Severus-Dumbledor: Thanks Minnie, I'm glad it was up to your expectations and I hope my other story is too!
Author: Yih
Author's Note: This is a SLASH HP/SS story with a very good friendship story for HP/DM. That's your warning, if you don't like slash then go read my other stories! I happen to be a very open minded individual and can see the beauty of both types of relationships. Isn't that fun?! I think it is ^_^;;. R+R for more! Reviewer thanks below!
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling ^-~ I wished I owned something, but I don't more the pity.
Website: foolish.home.att.net
4: Living Dead (May 25, 2003 to May 28, 2003)
(Not quite 3 years ago)
He knew there was only one person that dared to step foot in his private chambers, one person that was foolhardy enough to risk being in his presence and entirely imprudent to trust the sake of the Order to a Death Eater--- Albus Dumbledore. He also knew why the foolish Headmaster was here, of course, it had to about Harry Potter. And he was not mistaken when Albus immediately launched into the reason why he'd intruded into Severus's privacy, "You can't keep avoiding him forever, Severus."
As much as he wanted to avoid Albus, he knew he wasn't the type to back away from anything, so he lifted his head and glared at the Headmaster. For a moment, he felt like a child again but that only lasted momentarily when he saw the customary twinkle in Albus's eyes was missing. The problem was that he couldn't face Harry, not when he felt tremendous guilt. Thus, he simply did not give not a response. Let Albus think what he would.
"They say the words of a lover comforts those in a coma," Albus reflected aloud. "Harry knew what he was doing, Severus. If the killing curse had hit you, you would have died. For some miraculous reason, Harry is able to survive it. When he wakes up, do you think he'll be happy to know that you never once visited his bedside?"
Damn him, Severus cursed. Harry didn't deserve someone like him for a lover, he deserved so much more. There was this intense fear inside of him that Harry wouldn't wake up again, and if he did? His fingers curled up into a ball, digging half crescents into the palm of his hand. If Harry did wake up, he'd truly know how bloody ungrateful the world was.
Where Was the Boy Who Lived when You Know Who was defeated?
Post Fall of Voldemort. by Rita Skeeter.
No where to be found. Rumor has it that the boy wonder, the
golden Gryffindor had fled to an undisclosed location. Was it
to escape the rumors of his descent in the darkness of You Know
Who? After all, his supposed arch enemy was vanquished by the
great Dumbledore. What is even more curious is that Draco
Malfoy, son of condemned Death Eater Lucius Malfoy and Severus
Snape have also conveniently been unavailable for questioning
for the public.
It is right for everyone to be suspicious and even more so when
Malfoy and Snape aren't in the custody of the Ministry of Magic
as everyone assumes. From reliable sources inside, word has it
that Malfoy and Snape were never apprehended and remain at
large. Is it safe to say that they are the conspirators that
may very well be the Secret Keepers of Harry Potter's mysterious
whereabouts?
It only makes more sense since Harry Potter has become very
close to the former Death Eater and the Malfoy heir. At first,
it could have been a clever and covert operation of Dumbledore
to make Harry Potter seem more like an ally to the Dark Lord
than a threat, but then where was Harry when He Who Must Not Be
Named was vanquished? It seems that the Boy Who Lived may very
well be the next Dark Lord in training!
They had absolutely no right to accuse Harry like they were doing! Severus's hands shook with his anger and indignation. If it wasn't for Harry making him swear to keep his part in the Order a secret, he would have gladly marched up to that damn Skeeter woman and given his testimony that the Boy Who Lived had lived up to all the ballyhooed expectations that everyone had for him! More than lived up to them, even to the point of outliving the killing curse for a second time.
More of Severus didn't understand why Harry didn't want the public to know of his involvement in helping the Order, why Harry had allowed everyone to think that rumors that he was the Heir of Slytherin that had surfaced in his second year to run rampant around the school in his last year. Though he did have to admit that it had made Voldemort back off attacking and trying to murder Harry.
Of course, that inclination hadn't lasted long when Voldemort had somehow caught onto their deception of luring Harry Potter to the dark side so that Harry could get to him. It had only been by pure good luck that Voldemort had believed that Harry Potter had enough Slytherin in him to deceive two Slytherins. What helped Severus's and Draco's case was that Voldemort himself had been misled.
And... "I know what you're thinking of," Albus stated evenly. "It is too bad that Voldemort didn't fully fall for that plan, but at least we no longer have the presence of Voldemort to worry about anymore. With Harry's sacrifice, Voldemort is permanently gone. Unfortunately, all our planning to make that particularly plan work convinced many that Harry was seeking to join the Dark Lord.
"And I see that you've been reading Rita Skeeter's handiwork," he continued, gesturing to the Daily Prophet that rested on the table in the center of the room. "As much as I would like the truth to come out, Harry bound me never to tell the world of what greatness he has done. He doesn't want to be a hero, he only wants to live a normal life." He paused dramatically to let the words sink in. "That is where you come in, Severus. At Snape Manor, he could live normally and peacefully behind those wards until the world has forgotten about the Boy Who Lived."
Severus's eyes widened with disbelief at Albus's optimistic outlook. For Merlin's sake, Harry was in a coma indefinitely for all that they knew! And from what he'd gathered from Draco, was that it'd taken a week before Poppy had been able to erase all the scars that riddled Harry's back. As if that guilt wasn't bad enough, Draco had also informed him that Poppy said that Harry's condition seemed instable at best.
What did Albus expect? For Harry to wake up tomorrow? "I see the look of skepticism on your face," Albus commented. "Come now, Severus, don't you trust me? Poppy is a good mediwitch, but she's hardly the best that there is. It has taken time, but I have managed to coerce one of my most trusted colleagues into giving us a week of his time to heal Harry. If he cannot, then I doubt anyone can. Now before he arrives, I want a promise from you that you will look after Harry and do what is best for him."
"You know?" Severus managed to ask hoarsely in a choked voice.
Albus raised an eyebrow that seemed to say, 'Did you think I didn't know?' "Develbee will be here by portkey in a few minutes, do I have your promise?"
Why did Albus even need it? He already knew that Severus loved the boy, Severus could tell because the twinkle had returned to those gleaming blue eyes. Damn Dumbledore! Drat the man for knowing everything that happened within the walls of Hogwarts! "Yes," he snarled, but it came out halfhearted at best. "I promise."
"I intend to hold you to it, Severus."
~ (present) *refer to the end of chapter 2, continues off there.
Usually Severus was the one in control, but this time Harry held the cards as he pulled away from him before he lost himself in the whirlwind of Severus's blatant sexual overtones. Overtones that he wanted to take full advantage of at a later date. But right now they needed to talk. It was their physical attraction to each other that had gotten in the way last time.
Too busy shagging each other senseless, that they forgot that both of them needed a relationship that was more than about hopping into the sack. They both needed a meaningful connection that was to a mental level, not merely only physical especially after all the torment that they'd suffer. But Severus had been too glad to find that Harry hadn't blamed him for anything and had reveled in the renewed physical contact. He had been too happy to find that Harry wasn't disgusted at his touch after the physical torment he'd caused him to suffer through.
"I understand," Harry remarked softly, "why you pushed me away before. At the time, it was the best thing you could have done for me. I don't think you did it for the reasons that I think that I needed to be away from you. You did it to protect me from public scorn, I appreciate it that, and because you were afraid of how much you feel for me when you came so close to losing me.
"You were scared that I'd hate you for the pain that Voldemort forced you to afflict on me. But I would have thought that the months after the incident would have erased that from your thought. Then again, it was foolish for both of us to fall back into the old pattern without discussing the horrible incident that happened in between. That was our great mistake.
"I put the blame on me more than you. I didn't recognize that I'd begun to withdraw away from you and yet cling to you like a child. I needed to stand on my own two feet instead of expecting you to take care of me. And take care of me you did when you forced me to leave to guard me against the public slander." The smile on his face was bittersweet. "I've grown up in the last two years and I don't need you to protect me anymore, but I still love you as much as I did then. Will you give me another chance, Severus?"
Severus was shaking, trembling as Harry had stated everything into perfectly sensible words why they had broken apart when they should have been bound closer. But could he give Harry the answer that would make both of them happy, overjoyed beyond all joy? The fact was that if the wizarding world knew of their relationship, the nasty rumors about Harry would just start all over again. And he was damned if he'd put Harry through that torment again!
"I know what you're thinking about," Harry commented nonchalantly. "It doesn't matter to me what the Daily Prophet says. You, Albus, and Draco know that I'm not the next Dark Lord looming and that's what matters to me. Nothing else does. Besides," he remarked cheekily, "I know you're dying to shag me, Sev."
"You bloody prat!" Severus exclaimed with exaggerated outrage when he saw Harry's brilliant emerald eyes undress him with his studious gaze until they settled on his crotch which left no doubt that of his arousal. If he thought he was going to get a verbal response from Harry, he was sorely mistaken when all Harry did was nibble on his lower lip in that delectable habit that only made him look more seducible. "We can't," he cried out hoarsely. "If they know..."
"Who said anyone has to know?" Harry whispered back fervently as he ran his hands up and down Severus's back. "You are the abso-bloody-lutely fantastic actor, Severus, the best there was to survive Voldemort. And you have to admit, all those nasty words we flung back at each other when I first started working for the Order was our special brand of flirty, was it not? I'm sure we could easily fall back into that routine, when have we ever made it obvious of our relationship?
"I'm sure no one suspects, if anything they probably think that me and Draco are having a relationship." There was something that flared up briefly in Severus's eyes that Harry was surprised to recognize as jealousy. "But we aren't. Draco and I are great friends, best mates. For some reason, with the exception of Albus who always seems to know everything, no one knows about our relationship. And I know you want to think that our prior relations were a fling, something casual and used to get what we needed in a time when we didn't know what to expect the next day... but that was more than that.
"I gave you everything I had, Sev. And I like to think that you gave me all that you had. At the worst, what do we have to lose if we try again? I know I'm the one that's going to be hurt more," he murmured softly. "I don't care because Draco's right. What did we fight for if not love and happiness? I do love you, Sev, and I want to be happy with you."
Those words pounded into Severus hard. He had never heard Harry say that he loved him outside of the bedroom when he'd been pumping Harry into a tumultuous climax. No, when Harry had cried out those words it'd been because of passion and the moment, not because he really meant them. But as much as he wanted to deny the words now, he couldn't. The emotion behind them now had to be real love. Harry loved him. He loved Severus Snape.
"You sexy bastard, did you hear me?" Harry muttered in a low voice. "I love you."
"Yes," Severus croaked out, "I heard you." A long period of silence followed that, the lack of noise was more penetrating and distracting than any sound that might have disturbed the moment. Thoughts were whirling around with excessive speed, pros and cons--- positives and negatives. What to do? What to do! "Yes," he managed to give an answer. "Yes."
The grin that stretched Harry's face made the regret and bitterness that had built up inside of Severus for the past two years dissipate entirely. "You know," Harry began in a slightly teasing tone, "while there's nothing I'd rather do than shag you until you collapse from exhaustion, I don't think I'm up to it after portkeying several thousand miles. Do you mind if I just hold you tonight... in your bed?"
"No, I don't mind."
~
(not quite 3 years ago)
"He's asking for you," Dumbledore informed him gently. It'd been like this for the past week. Harry had awoken after being in a coma for almost two months and had been asking every time he was coherent enough to think for Severus. But no matter how hard Dumbledore tried to urge Severus to go see Harry, the Potions Master stubbornly refused to go.
At first, Dumbledore had feared that it was because Severus blamed himself and didn't want to face Harry since it'd remind him of all his guilt. But he knew it wasn't that that had kept Severus from goign to Harry for the past week. No, it was something more than that. The Headmaster knew that the articles that Rita Skeeter had published during the duration of Harry Potter's subsequent disappearance had ignited a rage in the usually calm and detached man that he'd never seen before. Severus cared deeply for Harry, but he wasn't willing to admit it.
And even if it was, that was not even half the problem. The real problem was that Severus was convincing himself that Harry and him weren't right together, even though, from all that Dumbledore had witnessed with his keen eyes, that those two had never been as happy as when they had been together. Yet, it would take time to persuade Severus of that and what was more important was that Harry see his lover as soon as possible.
"You can't keep avoiding him," he stated bluntly. "You are hurting him, Severus, deliberately. I never thought that you would cause him pain like that. Hasn't he been through enough already?" Yes, these tactics were low blows, but if it made Severus go see Harry then so be it. "He's wearing himself out waiting for you to come see him, you know."
Severus let out a harsh breathe when he let the words touch his heart. He felt horrible hurting Harry, but didn't everyone see that it was for the best? Harry was a bloody golden boy, the Gryffindor hero for Merlin's sake! If he went to Harry now when Harry was weak and sick and needy, the boy would lean on him even more and those stupid articles that had started to ebbed away would start all over again!
Even if no one knew that Harry's integral part in bringing down Lord Voldemort, he was still the Boy Who Lived to the wizarding world! He was the only one that had managed to bring the Dark Lord down in his first reign of terror and no one could take that away from him. And unbeknownst to the rest of the wizarding world, if not for Harry's foolhardy plan--- Voldemort would not have been defeated by Albus Dumbledore.
"Severus..."
"I will see him," Severus replied sharply but not without giving Albus one of his glares of death, which of course failed to ruffle the great wizard. Not even Harry was as immune to his glares as Albus was, it annoyed him to no end that no matter what he did all the Headmaster ever did was give him a lighthearted patronizing look. At least Harry pretended to flinch when he knew that Severus wanted a reaction. That reminded him, he'd agreed to see Harry. Drat, what had he gotten himself into?
Why only what you want to get into, his inner voice drawled with infinite amusement. You know that you are dying to see Harry, all you've thought about is Harry, Harry, Harry for the past weeks. It's been Harry nonstop. Just go and see the boy!
Arguing with his inner voice, he found from much experience was useless. One would think as an inner voice, he would have control of it enough to suppress it, but quite contraire he had no control whatsoever. So he marched steadily down the halls to where Harry was staying in Madame Pomfrey's care. When he entered into the hospital ward, he immediately felt two brilliant emerald eyes fasten onto his form. "Albus said that you wanted to see me?"
"I missed you," Harry croaked in a bare whisper. "I missed you so much, Sev."
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Author's Note: Wow people like my Mirror story O-o and I suck at keeping two fics going at the same time. Actually this is probably a good break period for this story ^-~. I'll be back or maybe not, but since I wrote it I'm going to release it! Besides, it hints that present Sev and Harry might get together!
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Melfwain: Muahahahah. Thanks. It was a good gruesome chapter. It was definitely good practice for "Mirror of Paradox"!
Kateri: You're exactly right. But it does provide somewhat of details of the past and why Sev's so hesitant and scared witless.
Sela: Harry's fine (as you've already read) Chapter 3 was a flashback to how they defeated Lord Voldemort.
Minerva-Severus-Dumbledor: Thanks Minnie, I'm glad it was up to your expectations and I hope my other story is too!
