Chapter Two - Fun in the Forest


Severus glanced around the room of his Defense Against the Dark Arts class. The room was crowded and paper airplanes and magical projectiles flew around the room. Narrowly avoiding an inkwell headed in his direction, he caught sight of an empty desk. He began approaching it, but stopped in his tracks noticing who was also at the table. Remus Lupin and Sirius Black looked around innocently as if they didn't notice Severus in the room. He clutched his things closer to him and deliberated.

He arrived at a decision and sat down carefully. Maybe, he thought, maybe they'll just leave me alone. Severus unlocked his journal with utmost care. But the second he picked up his quill...

"Hullo 'theverus--"

The remark was so quick, and nearly unnoticeably, but it drove Severus to the brink of insanity. These two hadn't stopped teasing him through the seven years he went to school with them. James and Peter had joined in their little game as well, but Lily never did. That always gave him a sense of peace.

"Shut up!" he wailed. Through the years and the help of Lily, he had overcome his speech impediment, but every so often...

"Just count to ten, Severus!" Lucius coached.

"Thtop it!--"

Remus and Sirius doubled up in laughter.

"Punch 'em!" a voice yelled from across the room.

"I've had about enough of your shenanigans, Black!" Severus grabbed Sirius by the collar of his robes, lifting him slightly off the floor. Sirius looked a little nervous. Severus threw him down a flourished his wand and directed it at Black's forehead. He was about to put the most horrible curse he could think of on Sirius when...

"Boys!" Proffessor Empiress flounced in quickly from the corridor. She was the DADA teacher as well as the head of Gryffindor house. She had long blond hair down to her waist and an annoying squeaky voice.

"Severus!" she scolded. "Don't you even think of harming a hair on that boys head!"

He looked menacingly into Sirius' eyes and lowered his wand. Empiress always had taken a liking to James and the boys and was horribly unfair to the Slytherins.

"Ten points from Slytherin!" she shouted as she approached the head of the class, ignoring the sighs from the Slytherins. "I hope you're okay, Mr. Black," she said before she sent her chalk to writing notes on the great blackboard.

No one ever paid attention in that class. It seemed so outdated and there were virtually no "dark" wizards or witches out there. Everyone thought it was poppycock, so they all whispered and passed notes. Severus began scribbling in his journal.

Prof. Empiress stopped for a brief moment in her lessons, and Tom Riddle stood up on his desk.

"THE CANADIUMS IS A COMIN'!" he shouted, angrily ripping off his shoes. He got down on all fours and jumped onto the tables leading out the window. He leaped out muttering something along the lines of "why are my pants on fire?"

The lesson continued quickly. Lucius tapped his fingers on the table, looking around with a forced smile on his face, for he was quite embarrassed. But by now, everyone had become accustomed to Tom's outbursts. Some thought he had ADD or tourettes, or something.

"I heard he's really doped up on the guffaw, if you know what I'm saying," on student said to another.

Severus, Lucius, and Tom always hung out together. They made for an odd group, but they got along okay. Not many people looked kindly on people from the Slytherin house, they always seemed stuck up and acted like they were "above" everyone. It was sickening how the other houses stuck together.

The three tried to keep a low profile, but Tom always made that difficult for them. He would be found in the oddest places or break into ramblings in the middle of class. One time, Tom was found sleeping in a cauldron in the dungeons. He kept hiccupping and changed into something different each time. Everyone just shrugged it off with an "oh Tom" or two. They all thought he was a little kooky, except Minerva McGonagall.

Minerva was a sweet girl, but she was a little untidy. Her hair was always falling out of her bun, she always had some stain on her robes, and she would trip over things all the time. She was very studious and was exceptional at arithmancy, transfiguring, and--of course--doodling Tom Riddle's name on all her notebooks. The end of the year ball was coming up and it was just for the graduating class. It was time for her to come out of her shell and ask Tom to go with her.

"Whatcha writin', 'theverus?" Sirius asked, leaning over.

Severus ignored them, continuing with his writings.

"Oh, 'theverus the 'thnake, don't ignore me," he continued, dropping to a whisper.

Severus' hand shook in anger.

"'Theveru--"

*Bam* Severus aimed his wand at Sirius and screamed a charm. A goat stood on the desk where Sirius once was. Severus looked a little shocked at what he had done, but over all, he was pleased. His angsty smile crept across his lips as the little animal began chewing on Remus' robes.

"That was so not cool," Remus remarked, looking down at Sirius the goat.

"That's it, Mr. Snape! Out into the corridor! Quickly!"

Severus followed Empiress reluctantly, a little dark cloud of thoughts bubbling in his mind.

"Is widdle 'wucius aww awone?" Remus taunted leaning across his desk.

Lucius' eyes welled up and the goat made some noises that sounded similar to Sirius' stupid laugh. "Severus sure showed you!" he said, his voice breaking a little. The goat bellied.

James narrowed his eyes. "You'll pay for this, Malfoy," he said, maliciously. "You, your little gothic friend, and loony shroom boy."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Like I was saying," she said. "He was like, 'No way!' And I was like, 'Yes way!' And he was all, 'For sure?'...."

Her voice was drowned out by the noise of the class. Lucius peered out the window and saw Tom running in circles in a clearing in the Forbidden Forest. He rested his chin on his delicate little hands and caught a glimpse of Narcissa. She was fussing with her curls and talking wildly to Lara Strella. To Lucius, she was the most wonderful thing in the entire universe. Right up there with that muggle show Charlie's Angels.

Severus and the professor came back in the room. Severus sat in a corner while Empiress continued her thrilling lesson. He crossed his arms angrily and sneered whilst he sat on a little wooden stool.


It was midnight and Tom hadn't come back. The guys were used to this, but something wasn't right.

"He did seem a little crazier than usual," Lucius remarked as he looked up from Little Women. "Poor Tom seems to have totally lost touch with reality."

"Maybe we should get rid of his toad collection," Severus suggested.

Tom had invited them over to his house one summer. To say the least, it wasn't a very pleasant experience. Tom's mother was in a wizard jail for god knows what, and his father had run off with a house elf. It was said they owned a small deli in Alabama. The house was big and creepy, all the rooms were cladden with spider webs except for Tom's. None of the other rooms were ever used. He always entered through his window, not daring to set foot in any other place. "Them devils'll get me, I says," he told them once. His room had three long shelves, stretching along the length of his room. All were filled to the maximum with jars of colorful frogs. His favorite was one called Artemis who was white except for the bright blue skull on its back. Those frogs--along with the briefcase of magical pills Tom hid under his bed--were the source of his... "Weirdness."

"I think we should find him," Lucius said. "Maybe he's scared."

"He's been out later than this."

"But he's our friend. He could be hurt."

"Lucius, he's fine."

"How do you know?"

"Lucius, shut up, I mean it."

"Maybe one of Rubeus' creatures got him! He can never control his pets!"

"Lucius..."

"Or maybe--"

"LUTHITHS! I mean ... ah fuck." Severus closed up his journal, ignoring a few frightened noises from some third years. "Fine, we'll go look for him."

"Yay!" Lucius shouted jumping to his feet. "I'll be down in a minute!"

A few moments later, Lucius emerged from his room, sporting an explorer's hat and a net.

"What the bloody hell are you wearing?" Severus demanded.

"I think it's cute!" Lucius said, admiring himself in the full-length mirror.

Severus snatched the hat off Lucius' head and grabbed the net, tossing both of them into the fire. Lucius sniveled, but followed Severus out into the dungeous corridor.

They tip toed across the large patch of grass, trying to hide themselves in the night from the gaze of the Gryffindors. Lucius tripped and yelped, but no one seemed to notice, they were all to busy anyway. Lily and James were holding hands, and Remus, Peter, and the goat were hanging out of the balcony.

"Lily," James began faltering a little. "I don't know how to say this, but--"

"Chuck it! Chuck it!" the boys upstairs chanted and out crashed a four poster bed. There were shouts of triumph among the boys.

James tried to ignore them. "What I mean is--"

Some more "Chuck its" preceded the hurtling of a couch through the air. More shouts of joy followed that.

"Dude! That was so cool!"

"Bahhh."

"Lily, I love you and I was wondering if--"

"Baaaahh!" Sirius the goat went flying out of the window.

"--If you would--"

A humongous water heater came crashing to the ground narrowly missing the couple and the hiding Severus and Lucius.

"God dammit!" James shouted, looking up at the guys. "Would you stop that?!"

"Fine, fine," Remus said, reluctantly setting down an ivory table.

"Lily, will you marry me?" James said, the words spilling out at once. Severus almost fell over dead and Lucius began to cry.

"How sweet!" he said, wiping away a tear. Severus elbowed him hard in the ribs.

Lily didn't look pleased. "Where's the ring, doofus?" she asked angrily, putting her hands on her hips. James looked around surprised. "And why aren't you down on your knee? God, James, you are so unromantic!"

Severus chuckled as Lily stormed away. The two were the school's on-again-off-again couple. The thought of them getting married amused everyone.

"Dude that sucks," the human form of Sirius emerged from the pile of rubbish. "Oh well." He put on his walkman and walked up the stairs back to his room, just missing the two onlookers.

"Let's go look for Tom," Lucius said, putting his hanky in his robes.

Severus nodded and held his head up high. If he couldn't have Lily, at least James couldn't either. He felt invincible. Nothing could hurt him. He was a god among men. He was--

*smack* Severus got smacked right in the face by the Whomping Willow. He felt his face angrily.

"Oh my," Lucius said, lighting up his wand and examining Severus' face. "Your nose has swelled! That'll take weeks to heal. But not to worry! I have concealer!"

Severus sunk. "Let's go look for that stupid old git," he said standing up. "Tom's always getting us into crap like this."

"Don't be so hard on him!" Lucius wailed. "My daddy says he comes from a broken home. Daddy's always right about things like--"

"Sucks to your daddy!" Severus said as they entered the darkness of the forest.

"You're mad, aren't you, Severus?" Lucius sniveled and his lip quivered.

But before Severus had time to answer, a crazy beast bounded out of a cover of trees and attacked Lucius, pouncing on him and ripping his robes savagely. Severus desperately tried to pull the creature away, but its nails were digging into Lucius. Severus stomped on his back, weakening him, and kicked him hard on his rump, sending him hurtling off Lucius.

Lucius was in tears and the thing stepped into the path, now visible by the moonlight.

It was Tom, and--surprisingly--he looked composed.

"What the hell, Tom?" Severus said viciously. "You could've killed him."

Tom shrugged and he brushed back his wild hair.

"Now Tom," Lucius scolded, waving a finger at him. "That wasn't at all civil. Now if you want to sa--"

Tom cut him off by sending him an evil "you will obey me" look. Lucius cowered.

"Get your ass back in our dorm, Tom."

Tom waited for Severus and Lucius to leave. He stood up straight, looking almost normal. His torn robes and twisted look distorted his sense of composure. He had a sock on his right foot and his ghastly, long, creepy sixth toe jutted out irregularly on his bare left foot. His abnormal toe was a result from his use of odd medications and toad licking.

Tom stepped out of the forest and walked proudly toward the castle.