Terms:

Exchange/navy exchange: Navy retail store that sells electronics, home furnishing, kitchenware, clothing, cosmetics tax free and several dollars less than standard price.

Part 1: Advertising for Miss Right

January 7, 2003

Oh…my…goodness. I cannot believe that piece of horrible crap Aoshi bought as a present for Cmdr Saitou and his wife. What the hell is he thinking? And I can't believe Megs let him BUY that? What was she thinking??

That's it. That is so it. Aoshi REALLY, REALLY needs a girlfriend. I couldn't believe he actually came home with that gift. And to make it worse, he decides to buy me something along the way. Give me the receipt now so I can return it. It was soo bad. Does being single for too long cause a man to lose taste in everything? Suddenly he's gonna start dressing like some preppy dork. I hope he never reaches that stage. At that point, he's never going to get a girlfriend, no matter what I do…

~ Misao

"That's really…um…marbly," Misao stared in dumbfounded shock at the marble wolf statue Megumi placed on the kitchen counter of the Shinomori/Makimachi household.

"It's appropriate," Aoshi stated as he poured himself a glass of cold water.

"For what?" Misao retorted, forcing her eyes away from the object.

Megumi smiled reluctantly. "I tried to tell him…"

"You actually let him walk out with that?!" Misao exclaimed.

"It's not-" Aoshi protested.

"It's ugly!" the teenager wailed. "That has got to be the ugliest gift anyone could give for a couple! He's gonna court-martial you for this!"

As a breath of exasperation passed through Aoshi's lips, he said with obvious patience, "I can't be court-martialed for something like that, Misao. Besides…you haven't seen his office. He has this animal displayed everywhere."

"He's clearly trying to say something," Megumi mused.

Aoshi arched a brow.

"Even if he says he likes wolves…that's so…tacky!" Misao shook her head vehemently. "That's like someone buying Aoshi an iceberg."

"Or an ice cube tray," Megumi supplied.

"Or a bag of ice," Misao mused.

"Or an icebox-"

"Megumi," Aoshi cut in sternly, shaking his head at the lady doctor's saccharine smile. "Stop encouraging her."

Misao's eyes widened. "I'm right here, Aoshi…Don't talk to me like I'm not…"

Her guardian critically examined the gift he bought for his superior's housewarming party. "You really think it's too much."

"It's a lot," Misao emphasized. "A lot of crap."

Megumi smiled. "She certainly gets to the point."

Throwing her hands up in the air, the teenager called out, "Will you both stop talking like I'm not here?"

"Misao…" Aoshi dug into a gray plastic bag. "I bought this for you while I was at the exchange buying that gift…"

"You bought the statue at the exchange. Could you get any more cheap?" Misao groaned. "Nice, Aoshi. They probably go past the wolf statue section every day…" She grimaced as she caught the yellow, brown and orange tie-dye tank top he tossed in her direction. "Aoshi…"

"I tried to tell him to get the blue and white," Megumi said in a hushed tone.

"Are you going to complain about my taste in clothes?" Aoshi prompted.

"These are Jiya's colors!" Misao cried.

"I thought that you could match him the next time he visits," Aoshi said calmly before drinking his water.

"Like I wanna look like him," Misao grumbled. "You've been single for too long, Aoshi. You need a girlfriend."

He nearly coughed on his drink. "What does that have to do with-?"

"I've found that taken men have much better taste in clothes and gifts," Megumi chimed in.

"I suppose I can't argue with an expert on men," Aoshi responded quickly, earning a death glare from her.

Megumi sighed. "Just because I date-"

"-a lot," he pointed out.

"-doesn't mean that I-"

"Ooh, hey, maybe you can help me out, Megs."

"With what, Misao?" the lady doctor turned her attention to the teenager.

"I'm trying to create a personal ad for Aoshi. Maybe you can tell me if he sounds like a guy you'd date. After I'm done writing it, I mean."

The doctor's brown eyes took on a wicked gleam as Aoshi's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Misao, I really don't think I need a-"

"I didn't realize you were that desperate to have her write your personal ad," Megumi commented.

"Actually…I promised Aoshi I'd find him a girlfriend by Valentine's Day," Misao explained. Shifting her weight slightly, she glanced at the ground. "I think it'd be nice for him to have someone. I mean…I'm gonna be in college soon. I think it'd be cool if he got into the dating scene…so he'd get used to it again…and…maybe meet someone."

Megumi's eyes softened. In spite of her unconventional relationships, she was a romantic at heart. Her and Aoshi's eyes met over the cool marble top of his kitchen counter.

"I'm not lonely, Misao," Aoshi spoke after a moment. "I-"

"I know," Misao piped up. "It's not like you're going to meet the love of your life through Yay! Personals. I just thought it'd be a nice jumpstart on your personal life, that's all."

"I think it's very sweet," Megumi said warmly. "Not many daughters are willing to share their fathers with anyone."

Aoshi studied the two women before saying, "I take it there's no way I can talk you out of this?"

Misao beamed, shaking her head. "Nope."

"I see…"

Megumi lifted one shoulder and said, "It couldn't hurt, Aoshi…"

January 10, 2003

And so it's on! I started writing the personal ad today.

Also, Megs managed to convince Aoshi to buy something else at the exchange for Commander Saitou and his wife. Sure, the gift fits the commander, but what about his wife?

Anyway, back to the ad. Stella and Danielle decided to help me. They were having a blast. Not that I blame them. But this is serious stuff. I gotta make sure that the right person responds to this. I don't want any weirdos flooding Aoshi's inbox. Eww! Anyway, writing the ad is actually pretty easy. It's probably the waiting which will get to me. That, and Aoshi's taking this better than I thought. Why do I get the feeling something's up?

~ Misao

            "She's right, you know," Megumi murmured, delicately running her finger along the control panel of a blender. "It was a bit much."

            At the exchange, she and Aoshi had gone through the home décor section, with very little luck. Now they wandered through the kitchenware, perusing items displayed on metal shelves chest high.

            "As I recall, she was just as shocked to discover that you let me walk out with it," Aoshi responded, examining a knife set.

            "As if you can be swayed in your decisions," Megumi responded. She glanced over, noticing what had caught his attention. "Oh, that's a nice one. How come we didn't notice that earlier?"

            Aoshi gingerly picked up the flat box, looking over the picture that decorated the front and back before reading the list of contents.

            As if out of nowhere, a sales associate dressed in black dress pants and a white sleeveless blouse appeared, her brown hair pulled back in a half-ponytail. "Can I help you?"

            "Do you have another box?" he asked, gesturing to one of the damaged box corners with one long finger.

            "I believe so…let me check the back for you…" she answered.

            "Thank you," he responded with a faint smile.

            "Anytime." As Aoshi continued to look through the knife set, she turned slightly, colliding into another female sales associate.

            Megumi's women intuition immediately picked up on the reason for the collision. She didn't miss the appreciative looks in both women's eyes. Megumi's eyes raked over Aoshi from head to toe. If she could be objective, Aoshi did look rather nice in his khaki pants and white button down shirt. The white contrasted against his healthy tan…and the top buttons were left open, exposing his throat and collarbone. The shirt moved with him, and in the right light, the shadow of his chest could be seen underneath. She pursed her lips. There were dozens of men, in uniform and in civilian wear, littered all over the exchange. Nevertheless, there was something to be said about tall, lean, dark handsome men. Smiling slyly, she sidled up to Aoshi.

            "You know…maybe Misao won't have to take a personal ad out for you…" she said softly.

            He frowned slightly. "Why is that?"

            "You seem to hold your own…" She shrugged slightly.

            "Then perhaps you can encourage her to drop the idea," he replied.

            "I doubt that. What time is the commander's party tomorrow?"

            "Two p.m.," he answered automatically.

            Megumi checked her Palm Pilot to make sure she had the date correct. "Okay. For some strange reason, I had one-thirty."

            "Perhaps his wife is tricking you into coming early to help with setup…"

            "Maybe." She grinned and made a correction on her organizer.

            In a few minutes, the sales associate returned with Aoshi's box. Megumi watched with amusement. Her friend was obviously unaware of the attention. The woman was practically gushing, engaging in conversation with him, about what a wonderful gift the set was. He thanked her and told her that he intended to look around one more time before finalizing his purchase.

            Megumi made her way to the cashier and bought an onion slicer and swivel potato peeler from the female associates she saw earlier.

            "So how do you do it?" one asked.

            Megumi's eyes rounded. "What?"

            "You actually went up to him and talked to him. In all my years working here…I've never seen any woman hit on a guy," the sales associate who had been assisting Aoshi commented.

            "Well…" As a woman, she never had any problems gaining the attention of the opposite sex. But she never really hit on a man at the exchange, either.

            "Then again, if they had your confidence…I don't think they'd have any problems," the woman continued, grinning.

            Megumi smiled back the instant a mischievous thought entered her head. "Well…to be honest. We know each other."

            The two women immediately looked disappointed. "Oh…well…the good-looking ones usually are taken…"

            "Actually…" Megumi leaned forward, dropping her voice. "That's not the case at all. You see…not too long ago he was in therapy for a…performance…problem. I work at the hospital, and I thought he could use a couple compliments, so I brought him flowers once a week so he'd feel better about himself."

            "Really?" The women stared at her in shock after ringing up her purchase.

            Megumi hid her grin. "My friend's actually very self-conscious about all of that. He thinks he can't attract women." She then reached for her bag and change. "Thank you, ladies."

            She then stepped a good four feet from the register once Aoshi came up to buy the knife set. It took all of her self-control to not laugh once the women spoke to him and he immediately jerked his head in her direction, an accusing look in his eyes. She was rather proud of her poker face.

            Once he finished, he immediately turned towards her and they proceeded out of the exchange.

            "I should hurt you for that," he said as they finally stepped outside.

            "What did you have in mind?" she asked, placing her hand over her heart before fanning herself. "The ideas are…endless."

            He placed his dark sunglasses on to shield his eyes from the bright sun. "Only you would think like that."

            "Of course. It's much more fun…" 

Meanwhile, Misao settled back against the bench at school, waiting as her friends looked over the typed version of the personal ad she was going to place online for her guardian. She nibbled her egg salad sandwich, watching her friends' expressions.

"Well?"

"Let's see…" Danielle began, her eyebrows drawing together.

Name: Aoshi

Occupation: Naval Officer

Age: 31

Nationality: Japanese-American

"Basic bios look good…" Stella chimed in.

Misao grinned. "I figured I might as well put those. I took the questions from Yay! Personals. "

Hobbies: surfing, kempo, spending time with my daughter

Any kids: yes, one beautiful, kind, sixteen-yr-old

"I thought this was about Aoshi," Danielle cut in.

Misao coughed. "Right. I'll fix that."

Quality you find most attractive in the opposite sex: Her mind.

"Are you kidding me?" Stella exclaimed. "Is this for real?"

Easily coming to the defense of her guardian, Misao nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. This is Aoshi. He's not like other guys. He doesn't let hormones be the deciding factor…"

"Well, he is old," Danielle pointed out.

"He's thirty-one," Misao said in a deadpan voice. "That is not old."

"But he's also been an officer for ten years. Military people mature much faster," Danielle argued.

Misao flapped her hand. "Okay, that's true. Point is, he's different. I need to write a personal statement for Aoshi. Something that will attract women."

"I'm looking for a possible relationship, but I'm willing to start slowly?" Stella prompted.

"Stella, that sounds so lame," Danielle interjected. "Women are going to think he's a loser."

Misao tapped her chin. "Aoshi isn't looking for a steady relationship. But I think he wouldn't mind being around someone for the long term…"

"Well, does the statement have to be about relationships?" Danielle asked. "Can't we mention how he's dedicated to a higher purpose and all that?"

"This is a personal ad," Stella reminded.

Sighing, Misao took out a pen and began to scribble on a pad of paper. Key words such as 'dedication', 'higher purpose', 'relationship' scrawled across the page.

"No, I think we have to mention his take on relationships. That's why women are going to email him – based on what he's saying about relationships," Stella insisted.

Danielle moved back so that she rested some weight on her palms, her legs stretched out in front of her. "Okay. We know Aoshi's the type of guy who'll stick around. Your dad ain't no love'em-and leave'em."

"Thank heaven!" Misao shuddered.

"But he isn't exactly desperate for women…" Stella continued.

"And he needs to meet someone who doesn't mind dating an officer," Misao added. "There are some women out there who can't stand being around military men…"

"What does Aoshi think about relationships?" Danielle pressed.

"Honestly?"

Misao nodded, propping her chin in her fists as she watched Aoshi move around the kitchen as he prepared dinner. Stella and Danielle watched in fascination.

"I think they take up far too much time than most people are willing to give. And that too many people jump into the situation before they realize what they got involved in," he stated.

"I don't care what you think about relationships in general. What do you think about yourself in one," Misao continued.

Aoshi tossed some chicken in the frying pan. "If you mean do I think I could share my life with someone, yes."

"Really?"

He nodded, his eyes trailing to the food on the stove. "Not right away…but I think…if I met the right woman…"

"And what's your idea of the right woman?"

He remained quiet for several moments.

Misao sighed. "You don't know what you want…"

But her guardian then said, "Someone…loyal. Someone…who knows me better than anyone else…" He stirred the contents in the pan.

"That sounds so romantic…" Stella breathed dreamily. "I never knew guys thought like that."

"The ones your age rarely do," he pointed out.

"Aoshi!" Misao cried. He was so embarrassing sometimes. So what if guys her age were immature? He didn't have to rub it in!

"Besides, you three are young. Commitment should be the last thing on your minds," Aoshi continued.

"Not this speech…" Misao groaned.

Her guardian set a wooden spoon aside. "Is there anything else you want to ask me?"

"No, I think that's it," Misao commented.

"I think you'll be getting a lot of emails," Danielle said cheerfully. "Especially after we Photofix that picture of you…Ow!" she glared at Misao, who swatted her.

His movements slowed ever so slightly as he cast the three teenagers a curious glance. "Photofix?"

"It's a photo manipulation software that allows users to add special effects to photographs," Stella explained. "Add more contrast, soften the lighting. Stuff like that."

"Misao…what photograph are you planning to use?" he asked, his voice indicating he was not pleased at all.

"Oh, don't worry," the teenager assured. "Something simple…and you. Course, I wasn't planning on using it right away…" she coughed. "I wanted to see how many women would respond to your ad based on words alone. So I'll try it for a week, and if nothing happens, I'll add your face to the ad."

Evasive answer was her way to go.

January 20, 2003

Of course, NO ONE responded when I posted just Aoshi's ad. But when I added Danielle's Photofixed picture four days ago, his email account, which only I have access to, had about twenty mails a day. I didn't know there were this many women in Hawaii who looked on Yay!! That's another thing…I purposely made it so that he's only interested in island women. No mainland applicants here!

There are some really weird emails I got. Some have plagiarized poetry, pictures of import car models, and sex propositions. Now, being the good daughter that I am…and realizing he has NO time for this…I look at each one and reply accordingly. Or I don't reply at all. I'm kinda getting to know what they're like before I set them up with Aoshi. You think HE'D email these chicks? Uh-uh.

Aoshi's gone back to work. And in a couple days, he's supposed to be giving a speech at my school about life as a naval officer. Whee.

~ Misao