Thank you so much to all who have reviewed so far! These next two chapters
are a bit darker, but I promise, it does lighten up toward the end...and we
find you can learn all kinds of things in the library.... (hint, hint)
Chapter V. Enter Night
Draco writhed uncontrollably under the covers. He was soaking wet, muffled cries threatening to wake the entire dorm. Suddenly he bolted awake, and sat straight up amongst the crumpled bedclothes.
"No!" he screamed, his voice laced with pure terror.
"Now what?" yelled Goyle. "Another one of your stupid nightmares, Malfoy? Shut up and go back to sleep!"
Draco swallowed the huge lump in his throat, his head held in his shaking hands. The nightmares were coming more frequent now, and getting worse.
And the worst was the one that kept replaying like a tape loop, the one that had plagued him for three solid nights, including tonight.
The one where he held Ron Weasley as he died in his arms.
Draco tried to push the memory, HARRY'S memory, out of his head. But he couldn't. He knew the story of course, everyone did. But he hadn't been there.
Now he had.
And it was worse than any of them had imagined.
The dream always played out the last few minutes. Draco and several of the Order of the Phoenix had managed to find where Voldemort and a few of his followers were hiding. The Dark Wizard was weaker now, months of fighting had taken a toll. Draco had wanted Ron to stay behind but he knew better than to push it. They were inseparable, and truth was Draco felt better when Ron was there, safer somehow.
It was this thought that would haunt Draco for the rest of his life.
He had been concentrating on the Death Eaters. He never saw Voldemort raise his wand, never heard the beginnings of the killing curse, until it was too late.
What he did see was Ron throw himself between them.
"RON!!!"
Oh, gods. Draco's hands shook even harder as he remembered the horrible scream, the twisted body as he fell to the ground. Moments later the others had driven Voldemort back, and Draco had run to his fallen friend. Cradling Ron in his arms, he rocked him back and forth, holding tightly to his hand as he felt the warmth ebb, leaving him cold, so cold...
Things are not what they used to be, missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real, cannot stand the hell I feel
Draco brushed the soft ginger hair away from Ron's face. With tears falling onto Ron's cheeks, Draco leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.
Growing darkness, taking dawn, I was me, but now he's gone
"Goodbye, Ron" he whispered."My knight once again..."
And then he broke down.
The cry had started low, but grew to a primal, guttural bellow that echoed in Draco's mind, tear-stained face turned upward to the heavens.
"NO!"
Draco would bolt awake screaming every night, heart pounding as he relived the last moments of Weasley's life.
He stumbled over to the sink in the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. "I...I..didn't know..." he mouthed. He knew Weasley's death had affected Harry, of course, but...the pain. The sheer magnitude of pain that Draco felt every time the nightmare replayed itself.
Now Draco understood why Potter turned his back on all his friends after that. They all thought he would come around, needed time to come to grips with what had happened. That wasn't it at all. Draco knew now.
Harry had decieded he would never again let himself get close to anyone, to love anyone, or be loved by anyone.
Everyone who loved him wound up dead.
And that wasn't a price he wanted anyone else to have to pay.
Draco climbed back into the bed, pulling the covers up as far as he possibly could. He wouldn't go back to sleep tonight, he never did after the nightmares.
Draco wrapped his arms around himself and curled into the smallest ball he could. "You and I, Harry," Draco whispered, "are not as different as you think."
End of Chatpter V. A/N: The italicized lines are from the Metallica song "Fade to Black" and the title of the chapter is from "Enter Sandman."
Chapter V. Enter Night
Draco writhed uncontrollably under the covers. He was soaking wet, muffled cries threatening to wake the entire dorm. Suddenly he bolted awake, and sat straight up amongst the crumpled bedclothes.
"No!" he screamed, his voice laced with pure terror.
"Now what?" yelled Goyle. "Another one of your stupid nightmares, Malfoy? Shut up and go back to sleep!"
Draco swallowed the huge lump in his throat, his head held in his shaking hands. The nightmares were coming more frequent now, and getting worse.
And the worst was the one that kept replaying like a tape loop, the one that had plagued him for three solid nights, including tonight.
The one where he held Ron Weasley as he died in his arms.
Draco tried to push the memory, HARRY'S memory, out of his head. But he couldn't. He knew the story of course, everyone did. But he hadn't been there.
Now he had.
And it was worse than any of them had imagined.
The dream always played out the last few minutes. Draco and several of the Order of the Phoenix had managed to find where Voldemort and a few of his followers were hiding. The Dark Wizard was weaker now, months of fighting had taken a toll. Draco had wanted Ron to stay behind but he knew better than to push it. They were inseparable, and truth was Draco felt better when Ron was there, safer somehow.
It was this thought that would haunt Draco for the rest of his life.
He had been concentrating on the Death Eaters. He never saw Voldemort raise his wand, never heard the beginnings of the killing curse, until it was too late.
What he did see was Ron throw himself between them.
"RON!!!"
Oh, gods. Draco's hands shook even harder as he remembered the horrible scream, the twisted body as he fell to the ground. Moments later the others had driven Voldemort back, and Draco had run to his fallen friend. Cradling Ron in his arms, he rocked him back and forth, holding tightly to his hand as he felt the warmth ebb, leaving him cold, so cold...
Things are not what they used to be, missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real, cannot stand the hell I feel
Draco brushed the soft ginger hair away from Ron's face. With tears falling onto Ron's cheeks, Draco leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.
Growing darkness, taking dawn, I was me, but now he's gone
"Goodbye, Ron" he whispered."My knight once again..."
And then he broke down.
The cry had started low, but grew to a primal, guttural bellow that echoed in Draco's mind, tear-stained face turned upward to the heavens.
"NO!"
Draco would bolt awake screaming every night, heart pounding as he relived the last moments of Weasley's life.
He stumbled over to the sink in the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. "I...I..didn't know..." he mouthed. He knew Weasley's death had affected Harry, of course, but...the pain. The sheer magnitude of pain that Draco felt every time the nightmare replayed itself.
Now Draco understood why Potter turned his back on all his friends after that. They all thought he would come around, needed time to come to grips with what had happened. That wasn't it at all. Draco knew now.
Harry had decieded he would never again let himself get close to anyone, to love anyone, or be loved by anyone.
Everyone who loved him wound up dead.
And that wasn't a price he wanted anyone else to have to pay.
Draco climbed back into the bed, pulling the covers up as far as he possibly could. He wouldn't go back to sleep tonight, he never did after the nightmares.
Draco wrapped his arms around himself and curled into the smallest ball he could. "You and I, Harry," Draco whispered, "are not as different as you think."
End of Chatpter V. A/N: The italicized lines are from the Metallica song "Fade to Black" and the title of the chapter is from "Enter Sandman."
